Forever (This #5) (3 page)

Turning in a circle, my eyes survey the books lined on the shelves surrounding the television, the cabinet below it full of movies, and the knickknacks and picture frames on top of the mantle. I don’t think I ever realized how much junk I had until it was time to move. My cell rings, and I smile as I see the number. “Hey.”

“Whatcha doin’?” Joe asks.

We’ve not spoken since the wedding. The wedding, where I was a complete and total bitch hell-bent on pushing him away. I plop down on the sofa, hanging onto each of his words like they are the last molecules of oxygen on this earth to fill my lungs. “Procrastinating. You?”

“Bradley just left.”

“Right. Saturday. Fishing. Did you catch anything?”

“Yeah. Some Crappie and Bass. Next time you’re in town we can have a fish fry.”

My heart flutters. “Yeah.” Because that wouldn’t be awkward at all. “Did you need something?”

Silence.

“Joe…”

“I’m here. I heard you’re moving.”

Oh. “Yeah. Next month.” I rub my hands over the faux suede of the couch. Gabby and I both moved away for a bit to attend undergraduate college, although Gabby’s still not finished. She transferred school and got married. I, on the other hand, moved back to this house to attend med school at the Medical College of Charleston. Recently, I decided to transfer to a shorter program at Mercer, in Georgia. Ryan’s residency was moved there. “I was attempting to pack when you called. Hence the procrastination.”

“So…things are serious with Ryan?”

Cut right to the chase, why don’t you? “We’re not moving in together.”

He breathes into the phone, sending shivers through my body. “That wasn’t an answer. It was a statement. Answer my question.”

I suck in my bottom lip between my teeth, then swallow.

“Because even if you’re not going to live together, the fact you’re transferring programs and moving to the same hospital is a statement I had hoped I’d never need to decipher.”

“Joe.”

“Sam.”

“Don’t do this.”

More silence.

The thumping of my pulse is loud and hard, the rhythm matching his breaths. “Does he make you happy?”

“I wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t.” I get up from the couch and start to pace. “Give me a little bit of credit.”

“So. This. With us, it’s just friendship for you?”

“Isn’t it?”

He chuckles. “You should get an award for evading questions.”

My lips curve up as I stare through the window at a toddler in a ruffled monogrammed bikini walking with her parents toward the beach.

“Say something, Sam.”

“I don’t want to have this conversation with you because…I’m not in a position to tell you what I think you want to hear.” I tuck my hand under the arm, holding the phone. “There. I said it. And now this is awkward.”

“You think you saying that made this awkward?” I shake my head. “Because the wedding didn’t exactly go as I thought it would, and you’ve given me the fuckin’ silent treatment for weeks.”

I pull out a chair at the dining room table and plop down. “Because whatever this is, we’re teetering a fine line.”

“Don’t you think if you were meant to be with my brother, you wouldn’t have the need to walk a fine line with another man?” Heat radiates throughout my body and my face flushes. “But you know what? Go ahead and move to Mercer with him. You’re making a mistake.”

“Me moving to Mercer isn’t a mistake. It’s a shorter program. Plus, it puts me closer to Gabby.” To you. “You can’t argue that. I know you’re probably thinking of some retort, but there isn’t one.” I’m feeling pretty proud because it’s not often one can make Joe speechless.

“Do you need help moving?”

“Haha. The more muscles the merrier, I suppose.” Muscles. Joe’s, Ryan’s, and Bradley’s all lifting boxes and furniture in the Charleston humidity? Sign. Me. Up. “So. Does this mean we’re good?”

“I’ll never be good with you being with my brother.”

“Joe.”

“We’re good.” The words and tone of his voice contradict each other. “I gotta get ready to go open the club.”

Everything in me wants to say, “See you in a month.” To hang up and not speak to him until I see him here moving my stuff.

He takes a deep breath. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah. Have a good night.”

Why does it feel like we just broke up when we were never together in the first place?

Surprise, surprise. It’s moving day, and instead of being here helping me pack, Ryan got called into a shift at the hospital. It didn’t used to bother me so much, but the more serious things get here, the more bothered it makes me. The doorbell rings. I tuck the side-swiped bangs of my pixie cut behind my ear as I walk to the door. Opening it, the butterflies rush into my empty, growling stomach as Joe’s lips curve up into a brilliant, dazzling smile. His brown hair is short on the sides and longer on the top. It’s like an organized mess of pieces out of place. It looks like sex hair.
He
looks like sex on a stick. His eyes are like chocolate ganache, dark and rich. “Hi,” I say.

“Hey. You gonna stand there or invite me in? I can barely breathe in this Charleston humidity.”

“It’s not even hot yet. I thought the ATL was supposed to be the humid capital of the south.”

“Eh. Different kind of heat in Georgia.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I guess you’ll see soon enough, huh?”

I smile. That’s the nicest he’s been about the move. I won’t push my luck with a smart comment back. “Yeah.” I extend my arm, offering him entrance into the living room. “Welcome to my humble abode.” It’s the first time he’s been to our house. Even though I’m the only one who lives here, our mom left it in both mine and Gabby’s name when she passed away from breast cancer when we were still in high school.

As he’s entering, I get the bright idea to try to look out in the driveway, which causes our bodies to crash together in a hug.

His arms immediately wrap around my waist. “I could get used to your body pressed against mine like this. Don’t move.” His voice is low and raspy. “Let me enjoy it for a minute.”

I stand on my tippy toes so my arms can reach around his neck. It’s just a hug. Friends hug. Girlfriends hug their boyfriends’ brothers all the time, right? We’re practically family. Except I don’t think boyfriends’ brothers should make girlfriends’ bodies feel like someone set a blow torch to them. “Did you ride with Bradley and Gabby?”

“No. I drove in case I need to get back to the club for anything. Gabby mentioned this morning that Ryan got called in.” At the mentioning of Ryan’s name, I release Joe, but he holds on tighter. “Such a shame.”

“Um.” My hand taps his back.

He inhales, then sighs as he exhales. “Mmm. You smell like raspberries and…peaches…and damn. I could eat you right up.”

“Joe.”

He pushes away. “It should be a sin to go around smelling like that.”

“I’ll be sure to get Taylor Swift the memo next time I see her.”

The lines of his forehead ripple. “Huh?”

“Her new fragrance, Wonderstruck.”

“Are you a Taylor Swift fan? I wouldn’t have pegged you as such.”

“How can anyone not be a Taylor Swift fan?” I ask, mirroring his face.

He chuckles as his eyes wander from my head to my feet. “You’re a pint-sized scoop of adorableness.” He takes a step past me, and I shut the door behind him.

“Somehow that sounded a lot like a description for ice cream.”

“I guess eating you up is still on my brain. Man, the things I could do with ice cream to your body.”

“Joe.”

“I love the way you say my name.”

“I wish you would stop giving me so many reasons to say it.”

“This is nothing. If you were mine instead of his, you’d have a lot more fun reasons to say my name. Nah. To scream it.”

My insides twist like someone’s squeezing a rag dry. Heat starts to stir between my legs. “You can’t say stuff like that to me. How many times do we have to have the chat?”

“I was trying to keep it light. I figured it’d be a real mood killer for me to come in here like some pussy, drop to my knees, and beg you to not move.”

I can’t hide my smile from him at the thought of him on his knees begging. “I told you this move is not just for Ryan.”

He glances away. “I know. See. Mood ruined at the mere mention of his name. Which way to your kitchen?”

I point to my right, his left. “It’s right through there. Why?”