Forever We Fall: Broken #4 (The Broken Series) (18 page)

Lee

After manhandling me and forcing me into his car, Kyle cranked the engine and tore off like a bat out of hell, locking the car doors as he drove – as if I was a flight risk. "Talk to me, Lee," Kyle begged as he pulled onto the road at the end of our driveway and headed for the hills.

The sun was shining, thank god, and the weather was slowly heating up. The only snow visible now was on the mountain peaks above us. We were only in mid-February, but I'd seen enough snow to last me a lifetime.

"Are you just gonna sit there like a mute?" he snapped and I edged further away from him, tucking my hands under my legs to keep warm. I couldn't speak to him. I was too upset and didn't trust what would come out of my mouth if I did.

It had been a long time since I'd felt so…defeated. That was the problem with sadness. The longer it persisted the harder it was to defeat. I was in a rut and I knew it.

"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered. "I didn’t mean to snap at you."

Sighing heavily, Kyle reached his hand over and tried to capture my hand with his, but I wasn’t having any of it. I tucked my hands further under my legs and stared out my window. He had some freaking nerve...

Every time over the last few weeks that I'd pumped myself up to talk to Kyle about what had happened with my father, his cruel attitude and nasty remarks had knocked the fight out of me. Kyle had spent weeks ignoring me, lying to my face, hiding things from me and leaving the house at the strangest hours and now, just because he had decided we should talk, he expected me to sit down and talk to him like nothing had happened.

Well, that was too bad for him because I couldn't turn my emotions on and off like he so obviously could.

No. I refused to be treated this way. I was not going back to the ways things had been in the beginning, where Kyle would hide things from me, treat me like crap and then pick me back up and dust me off when he felt like it.

I wasn't strong enough to go through that twice.

It would kill me.

****

Kyle

Unable to stand the silence, I pulled the car over on a clear stretch of road and killed the engine. "Will you
please
talk to me?" I asked Lee – I fucking begged her. I was feeling agitated being away from Linda, but I needed to fix this.
Jesus, I needed a miracle.
"How can I fix this if you won't talk to me?"

"How can we make this relationship work if you won't listen to me?" she murmured so softly, and in such a sad tone, I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear.

"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, okay?" I said in a gruff tone. "I am
sorry, but you need to talk to me so we can work this out."
If you want to work this out…

"What's the point in talking to you, Kyle?" Lee replied in a flat tone as she sat in the passenger seat of my car with her hands tucked under her thighs. This was the first time in weeks she'd been this close to me. Granted I'd thrown her over my shoulder to get her in the car, and space was limited, but it was a start. "You only listen to what you want to hear," she added. "I'm not going back to the way it used to be. I won't live like that again."

"What are you talking about?" I shook my head.
Jesus Christ.
"I'm not the only one who fucked up, Lee." I thought back to the fear I'd felt when I found her note and my anger ignited.

"You shouldn’t…" I paused and inhaled a steadying breath. "You know how I feel about you going places without telling me," I explained as calmly as I could without upsetting her further. "You know I worry. I'm an asshole, but I care. I fucking care about you so damn much and that makes me go a little crazy sometimes."

"You only care when it suits you, Kyle," she shot back. "And I did not f…" she took a deep breath and said, "I did nothing wrong that night. I tried to explain, but you so kindly told me you were up to your eyeballs with my childish stunts."

"I have a lot going on, Lee," I admitted quietly, the image of Linda's frail body possessed my mind and I flinched. "I took my frustrations out on you," I croaked. "I didn’t mean what I said."

"You have a habit of taking things out on me, Kyle," she sniffled. "You once said I wasn't my father's personal punching bag. Well, I'm not yours either."

My lungs deflated.

Jesus Christ, is that how she saw me?

Is that the way she felt I treated her.

Did I treat her like that?

"Lee…" I began to say, but she continued speaking over me.

"You contradict yourself all the time," she whispered as she clenched her eyes shut and shook her head. "You say I'm not in danger, but your actions tell me otherwise..."

"You are safe, dammit," I hissed as I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. She whimpered and shimmied away from me. "Sorry," I said in a gruff tone. "You are safe, Lee."

"You're wrong, Kyle," she whispered as she clenched her eyes shut. "You want nothing but the truth from me, but you fill me up with lies. You demand to know where I am at all times, but you disappear without so much as an explanation. You tell me you love me and then you turn around and say things that me feel like you h-hate me."

Shaking her head, she raised her hands to her face and pressed her thumbs to her temples. "I can't do this, Kyle," she whispered. "I can't ride this roller-coaster anymore."

"What are you saying, princess?" My heart was thundering so loudly in my chest that it was deafening me.

"Did you know it was Valentine's Day the day before yesterday?" she asked softly.

"No," I admitted, feeling like the biggest bastard who ever graced the earth. "Lee, I'm so damn sorry…"

"Did you know I had a biopsy on Thursday?" She kept her eyes shut as she spoke. "Did you know that Hope took her first step on Tuesday?"

"She did?" I whispered, appalled at myself for not being there.

"Yes," Lee sobbed. "She did. Your daughter took her first step to your best friend. I tried to call you, but you never answered your phone."

Straightening in her seat she turned to look at me. Her eyes were full of unshed tears and I didn’t realize until that moment that I'd broken the one bond I needed to protect more than any other bond. "Why won't you talk to me, Kyle?" she cried, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. "Why won't you confide in me?"

"I'm sorry," I choked out.

"But you won't tell me what's going on?" she said sadly.

When I didn’t answer, she wiped her cheeks and turned her face towards the window. "Just take me home, Kyle."

****

Kyle

I was at a loss. A complete and total loss. I couldn't look at her. It hurt too much. I'd done it again. I'd fucking broken her again.

Keying in the password into small handset on the wall, I started the engine and waited for the gates to swing inwards before driving up our narrow wooded driveway.

The car crunched to a stop on the gravel in front of our house and I killed the engine. "We're home."

She didn't reply.

"Lee," I said a little louder. "I said we're home."

Nothing.

Turning to face her, my heart squeezed when I saw she was asleep. "I'm sorry, baby," I whispered as I stroked her cheek.

I took a few moments to just sit there and look at her. She looked exhausted. She had the darkest of circles under her eyes and her face was set in a worried frown.
Jesus, even in sleep she was sad…

Had I fucked up that much?

Had she finally taken enough of my bullshit?

Had I pushed her too far?

The bruising on her face made my stomach lurch violently. I was missing something. Something had happened to her…My whole body broke out in a cold sweat. My hands trembled. Every inch of my body was fucking shaking. "Lee?" I choked out in a desperate tone. "Wake up, baby. I need you to tell me what happened to you."

She muttered something incoherent before twisting sideways in her seat. "I'm tired, Kyle," she mumbled, not opening her eyes. "The day keeps the dark away…"

The day keeps the dark away?

Unfastening my seatbelt, I climbed out of the car and ran up the steps to unlock the door before rushing back to the car. Opening Lee's door I removed her belt before lifting her into my arms. She curled into me as I carried her into the house. There was no sign of Derek or Hope as I climbed the staircase with Lee in my arms.

Heading straight to our room. I drew back the covers and placed her gently on the bed. "Please don't leave me," I heard her mumble and I flinched. I wasn't leaving her. She never needed to say those words. She never needed to even think those words. There wasn't a damn place I was going besides into that bed and lying right next to her.
You did leave her, asshole…

"Shh," I whispered as I drew the curtains and shrugged off my shirt and jeans. "I'm here."

Climbing into bed, I pulled her back into my front before covering our bodies with the duvet. "Sleep. We can talk later."

"It's never going to be over…" she whispered drowsily.

"What isn't, princess?" I asked as I buried my face in the curve of her neck.

She didn't answer and I wasn't sure if I was relieved to
not
know or terrified to think of what she meant.

****

Chapter Fifteen

Lee

I woke in our bed, to a very warm Kyle draped around me. Wiggling my body, I tried to free myself from the weight of him pressing down on me before stopping. I liked the feeling. I took a deep breath and soaked in the safeness I hadn’t felt in weeks.

My hand was resting on the pillow next to my head and was grasped tightly in Kyle's larger one. His leg was thrown over both of mine and his cheek was pressed against my chest. I didn’t have a clue of how we'd ended up in bed, but right now it wasn’t important. I'd slept better than I had in weeks and, for the first time in months, without a nightmare. 

"Oh my god," I shouted suddenly as I shoved Kyle off my chest. "How long have we been asleep?" We'd left the house early in the morning. "Oh god, Hope…"

"Is fine," Kyle husked as he pulled me back down on the bed and resumed his snuggling. "She's sleeping, baby."

"Sleeping?" I squealed. "How long have
we
been asleep?"

Kyle chuckled softly as he nuzzled his cheek against my chest. "You have been asleep with the past fourteen hours. It's after midnight," he muttered before pulling himself off me and adjusting himself to rest his back against the headboard. "We need to talk, Lee." He took my hand and knotted his fingers through mine. "I need to explain some things to you…but not here."

Throwing the covers off the both of us, Kyle climbed out of bed and slipped on his sweatpants. "Come outside with me," he asked quietly as he held out his hand for mine, his eyes pleading with me.

And I was a glutton for punishment because I climbed out of bed and took his hand without question.

****

The view from my perch on the slope of our garden was amazing. The glow from the moon illuminated the mountains. Each star in the blackened sky seemed to shine with more brilliance than the next.

I watched as Kyle strolled over to where I was sitting on my blanket. He carried a blanket of his own in one hand, his phone in the other. I wanted to toss that stupid phone as far from him as I could. He was too young to carry the burden his eyes told me he carried. "Are you okay?"

Lowering himself to the ground, he settled himself behind me and pulled me into his chest. "I am now," he whispered kissing my bare shoulder as he covered our bodies with the blanket. The little hairs on the back of my neck shot up in anticipation.

He wrapped his arms around my middle, swallowing me up with his strength as he pressed feather light kisses to my neck. His nose nuzzled my hair. "Your skin feels like silk, baby."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" I asked gently as my body practically purred in pleasure from his touch.

I felt his big body tremble around me. "I never want to lose you, Lee." His hold on my waist tightened. "I know my actions lately say otherwise, but you're so fucking crucial to me." His face ducked to the curve of my neck. "I fucking hate myself for the way I've treated you."

"So why did you do it?" I asked with my heart in my mouth, bracing myself for the worst.

"Because I'm a fucking idiot, that's why," he choked out. "I lost myself for a while, Lee, and I could have lost you…I don't understand why you're still here," he admitted gruffly. "I mean I'm thankful you are, Jesus, I'm thankful, but I've fucked up more than enough for you to run."

"Yeah, you have, Kyle," I said softly, twisting my neck so I could see his face. "But unfortunately, I'm kind of in love with you." Sighing heavily, I added, "It sucks because no matter what you say or do to me, I can't seem to walk away…"

"Linda's dying," he blurted out, shattering my thought process, blowing my mind to pieces.

"What?" Twisting my body around, I knelt between his legs, shook my head, and tried to form a coherent sentence, but the only word that came out of my mouth was, "What?"

"She has cancer, Lee," Kyle hissed through clenched teeth, dropping his head to rest his forehead on my shoulder. "She's had it for months and never told me. Cindy," he muttered. "The girl you met yesterday, well, she's Linda's niece. She's the one who told me."

"Where is it?" I whispered.

"Everywhere," he croaked. "She's been battling this fucking disease for months and never said a word. She went through her radiotherapy alone and her chemo. That's where I've been going." His arms clutched my waist as he buried his face in my chest. I felt wetness seeping through my clothes, dampening my breasts and my heart ripped open for him. "She doesn’t have long left," he sobbed. "I wanted to tell you, but she made us promise not to tell anyone. She says she's not scared, but she's got fucking cancer..."

"Oh, baby," I murmured, wrapping my arms around him, stroking his hair with my hand in my poor attempt to console him when I knew full well there was no consoling him. Linda was as good as his mother. His heart was clearly breaking. Linda's words came back to me and suddenly it all made sense…

Protect him, Lee, and stand by him. He's going to need you…

"I don't want her to die, Lee," he confessed. "She's gonna die any day now, and I've never felt so fucking angry in my life."

I wrapped my arms around my wounded man, holding him to my body, pouring every ounce of love and comfort into my touch. "Kyle, I don't have the words to fix this for you," I admitted, stroking his hair. "But I'm here for you. Whatever Linda needs, whatever you need, I will help you."

"Stay alive." He lifted his face to mine. "Just keep yourself safe and healthy. No more risks. No more strain on that beautiful body. I'm gonna need you to stay safe."

Before I had a chance to reply, Kyle's mouth descended on mine. The soft pressure of his lips roused every nerve in my body to life. His kisses were soft, a slow leisured onslaught on my lips that turned my legs to jelly and my heart to mush. His hand cradled my jaw as he took his fill. My body melted, pliant under his touch.

He moved us slowly until I was lying on my back with this beautiful man hovering above me, sliding between my legs. My nightshirt rose to my hips as every hard-edged angle of his body slotted perfectly into each soft curve of mine. He was all man, all thick, hard muscle, all mine.

I didn't move or allow the frantic hunger burning through my veins to spoil this moment.

Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed Kyle to set the pace. He needed this and if the only way I could comfort him was with my body, then I would gladly give it to him.

Kyle took his time, slowly grinding his erection against the throbbing ache of my core, his lips never leaving mine.

Our bodies fused together. The sheer, dominating strength of his body was a contradiction to the gentleness of his lovemaking. His biceps bulged with strain as he held the brunt of his weight off the upper half of my body, angling his weight to press against my core. I gasped against his mouth, bit back a moan, when I felt his body shift as he slid a hand down my waist.

Curling his fingers around the lace of my thong, he slid the fabric aside, stroking my folds once before moving to his hand to his sweatpants.

And then he was inside me, filling me with aching slowness.

I felt every hard inch of his erection stretching me. I lost myself to the pleasure. Tearing my mouth from his, a scream ripped from my throat when he ground his hips upwards, rubbing the ache of my clit with the exact amount of pressure I needed. "Oh god…"

His lips captured mine, cutting me off, as his tongue stroked me with the same rhythm that his cock fucked me. My fingers were everywhere, fisting his hair, scrawling his back, digging into the tight cheeks of his ass. I rocked my pelvis up to meet his thrusts, silently begging him to go faster, but nothing I did seemed to faze Kyle, as he kept the same frustratingly slow tempo.
Grind. Kiss. Lick. Grind. Kiss. Lick...

My clit throbbed like a pulse as every delicious nerve in my core knitted together, unifying in an urgent race for release. He used only his tongue and his erection and that was enough. Every thrust of his erection sent small shockwaves rippling through me, each plunge of his tongue intensified those shocks until I was clinging to him and arching away all at once. "Let go, princess," he whispered. "Give it up to me." Those words were all it took for me to fall over the edge. I came hard, a shuddering mess as Kyle followed, pressing inside me so deep, the veins in his neck strained from his orgasm.

****