Forged in Steele (28 page)

She smiled, completely mesmerized by his gentle exploration of her body and his noting the physical changes wrought by her pregnancy.

She’d had every intention of having her wicked way with him as she’d told him in the living room, but in truth, he was making love to her. Slow and exquisite. A sensual rediscovery after a long separation.

And it was making love. They’d had sex before. More intimate the second time, when they’d been getting to know one another on a deeper level. Forming the foundation of what would bring them to this, to the discovery of something meaningful. Love.

Love happened. She would have never thought that it could happen so rapidly. Love was something you worked at, and she had no doubt their relationship would take a lot of hard work and dedication. But it had simply happened. No explanation. No cataclysmic event or earth-shattering revelation brought on by some external event.

It had simply happened. And she had no desire to analyze it, to figure out how or why. She just knew that she loved this man, and God, he loved her too. Her heart was near to bursting with so many feelings, so many things she wanted to say but had no words for. The only thing she could do in this moment was to show him her heart. And that he’d entrenched himself so deeply within her very soul.

Time was simply that. Time. It moved at different speeds for different people. For her, she’d fallen in love with Steele when he’d come back and they’d spent those precious few days learning each other, talking about everything and nothing at all. She’d always treasure those stolen days before fate had taken them in different directions and before she feared she’d never get back to that place where she and Steele had begun something special and meaningful.

She was so grateful that fate had given them a second chance. That she was here in his arms. Safe. Protected. And so very cherished. She knew this was exactly where she wanted to be. No matter what the future held, she knew she wanted Steele there with her, facing whatever obstacles they encountered. Together. With him at her side, she knew that nothing was insurmountable. Nothing was too challenging. They were in this together and she had faith that no matter how new and fresh their relationship might be, they would face the future together.

He took his time, lavishing tender affection on every inch of her body, as if he too were memorizing and committing to memory this moment of rediscovery. As if he were reassuring himself that she was here and safe where nothing bad could touch her. He seemed determined to wash away the last months when she’d lived in constant fear and uncertainty.

And when he finally brought her to a fever pitch, her body flushed and aching with desire, he rose over her, parting her thighs to settle between them, his erection tucked just inside her opening.

“It’s like the first time all over again, Maren,” he said in a tender voice. “It’s our first time where we’re truly together. This isn’t sex. It’s much more than that. It’s my way of showing you my love, of showing you with more than words—words I can’t even express—how much I care about you. I don’t want to rush this. We have all night, and I intend to spend the entire night showing you just how much you mean to me.”

There was an odd catch in his voice. He sounded vulnerable. Laid bare in front of her and she realized that he’d never allowed himself to be so unguarded with another person. She was seeing a part of him he kept hidden away from the rest of the world, and it unraveled her that she was the one with whom he was sharing the deepest part of his soul. Parts of him that would never be seen by anyone but her. It meant more to her than she could ever verbalize, but she soaked it in, savoring every word, every touch. Tucking them away in her heart, where they’d live until the day she died.

“Then show me, Steele,” she whispered. “I’m yours. Only yours. I hope you know you can trust that part of yourself with me. I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never betray you. I’ll never share what is between us with another living soul. What’s between us is special. It belongs only to us. Private and precious. I’ll protect that and you with my every breath. You’ll never have another person who will protect your heart and soul the way I will, and that’s my promise to you.”

He closed his eyes and leaned forward until their foreheads touched and their noses brushed together. He kissed her just as he pushed inside her. Hot, molten. His hardness stroking deep but ever so gentle into her body.

“I’ll never wear another goddamn condom again,” he said hoarsely. “If you don’t want to remain knocked up for the next ten years or so, you’re going to have to use birth control because after having you without a condom, there’s no way in hell I can ever go back to having a barrier between us. Never felt anything so good, Maren. So hot and silky around my dick. It’s like diving into velvet and satin. You fit. We fit. We were meant to be,” he said, echoing his earlier words. “You were made for me. Only me.”

“Then it’s a good thing we decided to take the plunge,” she teased. “I’d hate to think of being an old maid waiting around for a man who never came for me.”

“That’ll never happen again,” he said, his expression one of utter seriousness. “You’re it for me, Maren. There’ll never be another woman for me. And I damn sure hope you feel the same way about me.”

“I think that’s pretty obvious,” she said breathlessly as he began to move inside her.

Long, deep strokes. Slow and sensuous. No rush. No impatience. Just leisurely, sensual movements as he slid in and out of her with measured thrusts.

He gathered her tightly in his arms, their bodies pressed together so tightly that there was no space between them. Only his hips moved as he rose and fell back into her. Her orgasm fluttered and rose, a long leisurely climb up the peak. It wasn’t explosive or earth-shattering. It was the most beautiful buildup she’d ever experienced. Higher and higher, fanning out until her blood sang with desire.

Even when his own release was imminent he didn’t pick up the pace. There was no urgency in his movements. He continued the slow build, rocking into her body, his arms wrapped around her, holding her so tightly that she could feel his heart beat against her chest.

He claimed her mouth, fusing their lips in a heated rush.

“Tell me what you need, Maren. What do you like? Teach me how to please you.”

“No instructions are necessary,” she said with a smile before offering her mouth for another kiss. “I love this. I love
you
. Come with me, Steele. I’m so close and it’s so beautiful. Like nothing I’ve ever felt. No frenzied, panting explosive orgasm. Just . . . beautiful. Soul deep. I feel you in every part of me. You’re there.”

“You’re in me too, Maren. You’re the best part of me. You occupy my heart. My soul. My every waking thought and when I go to sleep, you’re there, in my dreams, and when I wake up and see you next to me, I can’t even describe the satisfaction that grips me. It’s like I’ve waited my whole life for you and it feels right to have you right here beside me. In my space. My bed. My life.”

His words washed over her, heightening her desire as a wave of love and emotion consumed her. She wrapped herself around him. Arms, legs, trying to imprint herself into his very soul.

He tightened over her, his face suddenly becoming strained, and his breaths sped up and he pushed deeper.

“Are you ready, Maren? Do I need to slow down so you can catch up? I want you to get there. With me. Always with me.”

She touched his face, gently caressing the lines of his jaw and then feathering over his lips. “I’ll always be with you, Steele. Me and our child. We’re a family now. Your family.”

Emotion rippled over his face and he couldn’t seem to form the words he was trying to say. He looked overcome and so she held him tighter, urging him to his release as hers washed over her like a soothing wave. Beautiful. Poignant. Unlike any orgasm she’d ever experienced.

It rippled through her in waves, intense and pleasurable. And then his movements quickened, almost like he no longer had control over his body and it acted instinctively, driving into her as his muscles coiled and contracted. He filled her with his warmth, the hot jets of his release bathing the inside of her vagina and making his thrusts easier.

She arched into him, wanting all of him, all he had to give. She wanted every inch of him inside her so that she surrounded him and took everything he had to offer.

She kissed him again, easing the lines of tension around his mouth, and then she pressed her forehead to his again just before he collapsed onto her, blanketing her with the heat of his body.

For the longest moment they lay there in silence, each breathing deeply as they recovered from the emotional intensity of the moment. She stroked his back, caressing up and down and over his shoulders, offering him her touch.

He buried his face in her neck and then kissed just below her ear.

“Never been this way with another woman, Maren. Only you. Always you. There’ll never be another.”

She smiled, soaking in the quiet vow.

“It’s a good damn thing,” she said lightly. “I’d hate to have to go kick someone’s ass for encroaching on my territory. I’m tempted to make you wear a sign that says ‘Taken. Hands Off.’”

He chuckled, his chest vibrating against hers. “And I think I’ll get you a shirt that says ‘Don’t mess with a pregnant woman.’”

“Very sound advice.”

He rolled, taking her with him so they remained connected, him still deeply embedded in her.

“I know I should get up and get a towel to clean us up, but I don’t want to move. I like it right here inside you. How ’bout we just change the sheets in the morning and sleep just like this.”

She kissed him, lingering just over his lips. “Works for me.”

CHAPTER 33

STEELE
was careful not to wake Maren the next morning when he slipped from the bed. They’d spent the night making slow, leisurely love. They’d made love until they’d both fallen into an exhausted, sated sleep, but even with the few hours of sleep, he felt completely rested. He couldn’t imagine another time when he’d wakened when the world around him felt right.

But it wasn’t, and he couldn’t allow himself to relax his guard even as he reveled in the newness and intensity of their rediscovery of one another. His team would be here soon, and they had a lot to discuss and a lot to do before he felt his home was as safe as he could make it for Maren.

He wasn’t sure how his team would react to being turned over to Donovan, even for a short period of time. It wasn’t a situation he or they had ever faced. It was nothing new for Donovan or even Garrett or Sam to participate in their missions, and there’d been plenty of times when the teams had worked the same mission together, but it had always been clear. Rio led his team. Steele led his. Rio and Steele might take their orders from KGI, but their teams took their orders from Rio and Steele alone.

Hell, he didn’t like giving up his command to another person, even though he had complete confidence in Donovan and knew his team was in good hands. But he and his team were a solid, unbreakable unit that had been greatly tested when the mission had gone horribly wrong for P.J. But they’d come through stronger than ever. They were more than a team. Before Maren, they had been the most important people in his life. Now Maren, and their child, took precedence above all else. Even his team.

They’d understand that. They’d support him absolutely. He knew they had his back no matter what his decisions were. But until he resumed command, it wouldn’t be the same. For any of them. Just as it hadn’t been the same when P.J. had left for a period of time.

They clicked. They worked in perfect accord. They had chemistry that often took years if ever to develop. He couldn’t give that up any more than Maren could give up her career. But they’d both have to make compromises going forward because they had more than themselves to consider.

They had a child. A tiny life dependent on them to love and protect and to place his or her needs above anything else in their lives. He knew with absolute certainty that he and Maren were on the same page when it came to their goals considering their child.

After taking a quick shower, he quietly dressed and glanced over to see Maren still sleeping soundly. She was curled up with her knees pulled toward her belly, and he wondered if it had become a habit during those weeks of uncertainty and fear, an unconscious measure to protect her child even while she slept.

It angered him that she’d lived in fear for so long, never knowing when or if Caldwell would force himself on her or even try to harm her baby. He wanted to kill the bastard for what he’d done. Fuck whatever Hancock was trying to accomplish. Steele wanted Caldwell’s blood.

After gazing at her a moment longer, he reluctantly turned away, checking his watch as he left the bedroom. He shut the door behind him so any noise wouldn’t wake her. She needed the rest and he was going to let her sleep for as long as she could.

After preparing a pot of coffee, he laid out an assortment of tea bags he’d bought for Maren the day before and filled a kettle with water so it would all be ready to go when she woke up. He also took a sleeve of saltine crackers from the box and put it on the bar. She could munch on those while she sipped her tea and if she felt capable of eating anything heavier, he’d cook her breakfast or at least make her some toast.

She’d lost weight since the time they’d spent together in Costa Rica. Even with her belly starting to round ever so slightly, she was thinner. She needed to be better taken care of, and that was precisely what he was going to do for the next five months—and beyond if he had any say in the matter.

By the time he finished his first cup of coffee, his team began arriving. Baker and Renshaw were first, arriving just minutes apart. P.J. and Cole arrived together next, and Dolphin strolled in last.

“How’s Maren doing?” P.J. asked when they’d all taken their seats.

“Still sleeping. I’m letting her rest as long as she’ll sleep,” Steele said.

“I’m going to ask what we’re all wondering, and you can tell me to fuck off if I’m getting too personal,” Dolphin said bluntly.

Steele lifted an eyebrow but regarded his team member in silence, waiting for what he had on his mind.

“Is this thing with you and Maren for real?” Dolphin asked.

At Steele’s immediate frown, Dolphin held up his hand.

“Let me rephrase this. Is her baby really yours or did that asshole force himself on her and you’ve stepped in to help her?”

Steele sighed. “Sam had the same question. He and Maren are close. He was worried. And he wanted to know whether to go kick Caldwell’s ass. Yes, the baby is mine. And yes, it’s really none of your damn business, but here’s the deal. For the next while, until the baby is born, I’m out of commission.”

There was a mixture of reactions from surprise to quick frowns.

“What does that mean exactly?” Cole asked in a low voice.

“It means that you’ll be working under Donovan until I’m back in action. For now you’re all taking downtime unless something comes up—and we all know how that goes—but Sam is letting Nathan and Joe’s team loose so they can pick up the slack. Donovan is taking you until I come back. For now my focus has to be on Maren and our child and making damn sure she’s safe. We have a lot to work out, including where we go after the baby is born. Neither of us wants to give up our careers, but as of now, those jobs take a backseat to the child.”

“I get it,” P.J. said. “It won’t be the same not working for you, Steele. I of all people know that most. But I agree, you have to do what you have to do. We’ve worked with Van enough that we’re comfortable with him in the lead. Just don’t get lazy while you’re out of action and expect us to pick up your slack when you come back to work.”

The others laughed at the ribbing P.J. gave him. Steele relaxed. He’d not been looking forward to having to tell his team this. They were a huge part of his life. His everyday existence. He spent more time with them than most married couples spent together.

“The other reason I brought you out here is so you could help me beef up security around here. I want to make sure that if anyone breaches the perimeter I’ll damn well know about it and be prepared.”

The others nodded.

“You’ll call us up if you need us,” P.J. said, not as a question but as a statement of fact. Then her voice lowered. “You fought for me. No way in hell I’m not going to fight for you when you need it. I won’t forget that, Steele. You need us, you say so. Don’t give a damn about downtime. If you have any concerns at all, we’ll be here, even if it’s to take watch shifts.”

Steele stared back at P.J., his chest tightening. “You know I will. There’s no one I trust more to protect my back than my team. There’s no one I trust more with Maren’s safety.”

“Okay, well, we got that all out of the way,” Dolphin said. “Now let’s get to work on making sure no one gets in or out without a huge fucking wake-up call.”

“Now we’re talking,” Renshaw said. “Tell us what you want, boss man, and we’ll make it happen.”

After outlining the things he wanted done, Steele rose and the others followed suit just as Maren walked into the living room, her hair damp from a shower, and she was wearing jeans and a T-shirt but had bare feet. It struck him that she looked utterly at home. In his house, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to walk out of his bedroom after taking a shower and dressing.

The sense of rightness hit him hard, and for a long moment all he could do was stare until he realized he was making her uncomfortable with his silent scrutiny.

“Uh, hi, everyone,” she said with a small wave. “I completely forgot you all were coming today. I sorta slept in.”

Everyone greeted her warmly and her awkwardness visibly disappeared. Steele went to her, steering her toward the kitchen.

“I’ll catch up to you guys in a second,” Steele called back. “You can head out to the shed where all the equipment is stored and also unload the stuff you brought with you.”

As the others left, Steele sat Maren down at the bar and then went to the stove to turn on the burner under the kettle of water he’d already prepared.

“I thought you could start with tea and some crackers. If that works for you, I’ll fix you something a little more substantial. I have bagels and cinnamon rolls, or you can have toast. If you think you can stomach eggs, I can scramble some up for you.”

She smiled and propped her elbows up on the bar. “Thanks, Steele, but you don’t have to pamper me, though I won’t lie and say I’m not enjoying it. But you have stuff to do and I don’t want to keep you from it. You go ahead and do your thing with the others so they aren’t kept waiting. I’ll finish up the tea and if I’m hungry after the crackers I’ll figure out something to fix. Want me to make lunch for everyone? How long will this all take?”

“A few hours,” he said. “I hadn’t thought about lunch, and it’s not like we get pizza delivery out here. Or anything else, for that matter.”

“Want me to do burgers or something like that for everyone? It’s the least I can do since you and they are all doing this for me.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t think you have to repay any kind of debt. We look out for each other. I have their backs and they have mine. This is them having
our
backs. But yeah, burgers sound fine. You sure you can handle the smell of raw hamburger meat? Or for that matter the smell of frying them up? If you want, just make the patties, if you can stomach it, and after we’re done I’ll throw everything on the grill. We’ll have beer and burgers. I guarantee my team isn’t going to turn that down.”

She laughed. “No, I imagine they wouldn’t. That’s a deal. I’ll season the meat and make the patties and stick them in the fridge so they’ll be ready to go when you’re finished. Then I’ll rustle up all the fixings, slice a few tomatoes and onions and wash the lettuce and we’ll be set.”

He rotated her bar stool so she faced him and he pulled her into his chest. “I like you in my kitchen. I like having a perfectly ordinary mundane conversation about who does what for the food preparation. I like having you here. Period. I think you’re domesticating me, Maren.”

She cracked up and rested her forehead against the hollow of his throat so his chin rested atop her head. “Oh, the horror. The world may well be coming to an end. Who would have ever thought the almighty Steele would
admit
to being domesticated, never mind actually
becoming
domesticated.”

“How about me admitting, at least in the short time of my newfound domesticity, that I like it?”

“Stop,” she said dramatically. “There’s only so much I can take in one day. That kind of shock can’t be good for the baby.”

He tugged teasingly at her hair and then tilted her head back to kiss her. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours. If you need anything at all, just stick your head out the back door and holler. We won’t be far and one of us will hear you.”

“Okay. Thought I’d wait until after lunch and everyone clears out before I call my parents to arrange their flight out here. Then we can both sit down while I talk to them and hash out the details.”

“Sounds good.”

He kissed her again and then reluctantly pulled himself away from her.

“Try to eat something,” he said as he headed toward the door leading to the back porch. “And just so we’re clear, that was a request. Not a direct order.”

She laughed, her eyes twinkling in merriment. “My, my, looks like you
can
be trained, Steele.”

He grinned back, enjoying the playful banter that came so easily between them. “For the kind of reward you offer, this old dog can definitely learn a few new tricks.”