Forged in Steele (27 page)

But the idea of losing Maren? Of losing their child? Of leaving one day and never coming home? Or even worse, some asshole taking revenge by taking out his woman and his child?

Fear was so heavy, so thick he could taste it. It pervaded every blood cell, his every thought, seeped deep into his brain until it was all he knew.

Jesus Christ, but this was no way to exist. How the fuck did the rest of them do it? How did they seem so goddamn relaxed all the time? He was a basket case and he’d only been in love for half a damn day.

Okay, so it was a lot longer than half a day, but he’d only made the admission or rather discovery a few hours ago.

He needed to go blow something up. Or pump a few rounds into a target. Beat the shit out of someone while he was at it. Anything to work off this restless, cagey, animalistic sensation that had him by the nuts.

“What’s eating you, boss man?” Cole asked.

Steele whirled around, nearly dropping Maren’s lemonade on the deck. His expression must have been fierce because Cole took a step back, his expression wary.

“Nothing,” Steele muttered. “Just thinking. Can you take this back to Maren? I need to tag Sam right quick.”

“Sure,” Cole said, taking the cup Steele held.

Steele made his way back over to where Sam had rejoined the others on the deck and motioned him aside. Garrett came with Sam, followed closely by Donovan.

“What’s up?” Sam asked. “You look like you swallowed a lemon.”

“Just forgot to mention a very important piece of information and I have a request to make.”

“Name it,” Sam said. Just like that. It was one of the things Steele liked most about who he worked for. Sam had his back, no questions or reservations.

“I want to fly Maren’s parents in on one of the KGI jets and pick them up at Henry County. They’re eager to see her, of course. They’ve been frantic with worry. She spoke to them yesterday and assured them she was okay. And while they’re here we need to see about setting up protection for them so that when they go back home they’ll be safe. I don’t trust Caldwell not to do something stupid.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Sam said. “And of course we can send one of the jets for them. In the meantime I’ll make some calls and get in touch with a local security firm so that when her parents return home, they’ll have round-the-clock surveillance. It would be a good idea for you to discuss frankly with them while they’re here what exactly we’re dealing with so they can be more careful and aware when they go home.”

“Thanks, Sam. This means a lot to Maren. And to me.”

“Even if we weren’t doing it for Maren, we’d do it for you,” Garrett inserted. “You never have to ask. We’ll do whatever we can to help.”

“What about your place?” Donovan asked. “I know you have a pretty tight security net around your house, but if it’s just going to be you and Maren staying there, you might want to consider having some additional manpower.”

“My team is coming out tomorrow and I’m going to have them beef up the perimeter. Planning to add heat sensors and laser detectors that will trigger silent alarms if anyone breaches the cordoned-off area. We’ll set out more cameras and make sure that if a deer so much as farts, I’ll know about it. If I sense anything out of the ordinary, I’ll be on the horn with you.”

Sam nodded his satisfaction. “You know I don’t believe in being too paranoid, so if you even think you need help, don’t hesitate to call it in. I can have a team out there in no time flat. I’m turning Nathan and Joe’s team loose in short order, but they’d be perfect as extra security for you and they can split watches if you’d feel better having extra eyes and ears on the premises.”

“I may just take you up on that,” Steele said. “I want my team to have some time off. They need it. So while they’re taking the downtime, I wouldn’t turn down having the other team check in from time to time. At least until I get my own team back.”

“You got it,” Donovan said. “And Sam and Garrett and I will be more than happy to take a shift as well. Things are quiet now, but we all know that could change on a dime. But if we aren’t taking an assignment, we’re all yours.”

Steele extended his hand, shaking each of the Kelly brothers’ hands in turn. “Maren and I both appreciate this.”

“Anytime. You’re family, Steele, even if your hard ass refuses to acknowledge that. You rode P.J. for not falling back on her family and her team. Just make damn sure you don’t make the same mistake,” Garrett said sternly.

Steele smiled. “Yeah, I hear you. You’ve just been waiting to be able to get in my face about it, haven’t you?”

Sam grinned. “Maybe. I’m definitely not one to let an opportunity to give you shit go by.”

“She’s a terrific woman, Steele. You’re a lucky bastard,” Garrett said. “Not as lucky as I am, but you did good.”

Steele rolled his eyes. “We’re not going to have a pissing match over who got the better woman. Our women are unmatched and that’s a fact.”

“Jesus, but y’all are nauseating me,” Donovan grumbled. “I’m going to walk away now before you start talking about baby booties and knitting and shit.”

Steele laughed. “Maren did say she could totally see me taking up knitting in a rocking chair on my front porch.”

“Pussy,” Garrett muttered.

“You have no room to talk, Mr. I-can’t-say-fuck-around-my-wife-anymore,” Donovan said.

Garrett winced. “Yeah, yeah. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”

“The rapid manner in which this entire damn organization is becoming domesticated makes me want to move far, far away,” Donovan said.

“Your time is coming. Mark my words,” Sam said, pointing his finger at Donovan. “And when it does? We’re all going to ride you like a mule. You’ll never live it down. I can guaran-damn-tee that much.”

Donovan rolled his eyes and sauntered away, immediately swinging Charlotte into his arms amid screams of “Spin me around, Uncle Van!”

CHAPTER 32

“TIRED?”
Steele asked when he returned from the kitchen, where he’d put away the groceries they’d bought on the way back from the Kelly compound. The bags containing the clothing they’d purchased had been dumped onto Steele’s bed and then Maren had promptly flopped onto the couch, head back, all but wilting into the cushions.

“Yeah,” she said, not opening her eyes.

“Too much today?”

She opened her eyes and stared back at him from underneath her lashes. “No, it was fun. I needed it. I’ve been cut off from everyone for so long. In my worst hours, I feared never seeing any of those people again.”

Steele sat on the end of the couch and motioned for her to come to him. He turned sideways and pulled her between his thighs and began rubbing her shoulders, smoothing those big, strong hands over the muscles. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning further into his embrace.

“What about you?” she asked drowsily. “Today couldn’t have been fun for you. You were front and center and I know you had to hate that.”

He made a sound that seemed a cross between amusement and resignation. “Yeah. I won’t lie and say it was fun. But it wasn’t
bad
. Love is new to me, Maren. It changes things, you know? I’ve always been content to sit back and let others take the spotlight. I do what has to be done and get the job done and let others deal with the details.”

“Yeah, I know,” Maren said softly.

“But today was . . . different. Good different. I didn’t mind being in the spotlight because you were there
with
me and I didn’t give a damn who knew it. You’re mine and I was proud to let them know that. You and my baby. I wanted them to look at me and think of what a lucky bastard I am.”

She turned in his arms, staring up at him, at the sincerity in his eyes, and her heart completely melted.

“You know, if I weren’t already pretty darn sure I was in love with you, that would have done it right there.”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “Why don’t you call your folks first thing in the morning and tell them they can come out as soon as they can arrange it. I talked to Sam and he’ll have one of the Kelly jets go get them. I told him I would pick them up at Henry County and they can stay a few days here so you can spend some time with them.”

“Damn, I love you more with every passing minute,” she murmured against his lips.

She kissed him again, long, slow, unhurried. Just reveling in the sensation of something new and shiny and oh so very precious.

“You’re a wonderful man, Steele. And behind that tough-as-nails exterior lies a heart of gold.”

“Yeah, well, don’t feel the need to tell everybody that,” he said gruffly. “You’re the only one who needs to know that kind of information.”

She grinned. “Don’t worry. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you’re a controlling asshole with OCD issues.”

“And here I was contemplating letting you take me to bed and have your wicked way with me. But if I’m a control freak, maybe I should reconsider that option and start ordering you around.”

She thumped him on the chest. “We’ve already been over that, buster. Not going to happen in this lifetime.”

“A guy can try,” he said innocently.

“I’m liking your idea, though,” she mused, pretending to give the matter serious consideration. “How wicked can I get?”

He kissed her again, deepening it this time. Long and more intense. His breaths quickened and his pulse thudded against her chest. She
loved
that she could make him react this way. That he wanted her. That he loved her.

It was a sensation she couldn’t describe. The wonder, the thrill of something new and still budding, growing stronger with every moment spent together. She wanted to savor it, hold it to her heart and never let it go. She would always remember these moments, even with the memory so fresh in her mind of her abduction and the terror she’d felt for so many weeks. But here and now with Steele made those unpleasant memories fade. He wiped them clean, replacing them with love and tenderness.

He was hers. It still boggled her mind. This man, this warrior was hers. He’d chosen her. He wanted her. And now they were building a family along with what she hoped with all her heart was a long-standing relationship that would only grow stronger with time and care.

She wanted forever with him.

He pulled away, his eyes heavy with desire. “As wicked as your imagination will allow.”

“In that case, you’re in for a very long night,” she murmured. “I’ll call my parents in the morning, and we’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes. But tonight? All I want to think about is you and me and me making you beg for mercy.”

“There’ll be no begging,” he said.

She arched an eyebrow. “Too proud to beg, big guy?”

“Hell no, but if there’s any begging involved it damn sure won’t be for mercy. I want everything you have to give. But I won’t rule out begging for
more
.”

She struggled to get up and off him, and he gripped her arms, holding her steady as she climbed off the couch. Then she extended a hand to help him up.

“How fast can you get naked?” she asked in a teasing voice.

As they started toward the bedroom, Steele left a trail of clothing behind them. By the time they were in the door, he was completely naked and it was obvious he was heavily aroused.

“God, you’re beautiful,” she breathed as she stood staring, taking in his lean, muscled physique.

“You keep stealing my lines,” he grumbled. He closed in on her, advancing until he was pressed to her, naked and glorious. “You’re the beautiful one, Maren. And you have too many damn clothes on.”

“Want to help me out with that little problem?” she asked innocently.

“Damn straight.”

He pulled at her pants until they fell to her feet. “Help me out here and kick out of them. I’m more interested in getting this shirt off you.”

She did as he asked as he pulled impatiently at the rest of her clothing. With each piece that disappeared, he kissed her, molding his body to hers, his hands roaming up and down her body until she was shivering with desire.

She reached down, curling her hand around his rigid erection, stroking up and down in a gentle motion. He went still against her, his mouth against her neck, and his breath came out harsh and hot against her skin.

“I guess the one good thing is that we no longer have to worry about condoms,” she said in a husky voice.

He smiled against her neck and then licked before nipping at the sensitive flesh. “Not that they did any damn good the first time.”

She laughed. “No, I guess this baby was meant to be.”

He pulled away, his eyes serious as he stared down at her. He cupped her chin, angling her mouth up toward his.

“
We
were meant to be, Maren. I fought it, just like I fought my attraction to you. It bewildered and pissed me off all at the same time. But I knew the moment I gave in, that very first night we were together,
everything
changed. Even though I continued to fight it and I walked away. I’ll always regret that.”

“But you came back,” she whispered.

“Yeah, I did, and I wish to hell I hadn’t left again.”

She put a finger to his lips. “It wasn’t your fault, Steele. You can’t take responsibility for some lunatic’s actions. You were doing your job.”

“My job is to protect you and our baby,” he said fiercely.

“And I have every confidence you’ll do just that. Now shut up and kiss me. I never thought I’d say this about you, but you talk too damn much.”

He laughed, transforming the utter graveness in his face and eyes to something lighter, more joyful. She loved that look on him. And she wanted to be responsible for making him lose some of the coldness that had surrounded him for so long. His days as the ice man were gone.

He lowered his mouth, taking hers in a possessive, passionate kiss that stole her breath. Her lips tingled under his loving assault. Her lips parted and his tongue swept in, tasting and teasing her.

Then to her surprise he lowered himself down her body until he knelt in front of her, his mouth level with her belly. He placed his hands gently on her hips and then pressed his mouth just above her navel in the most loving of kisses.

“Our child,” he said, awe in his voice. “I’m blown away by the fact that my baby is inside you, growing in your womb. I don’t have words, Maren. I never imagined this. Never planned for it. Never thought I’d be kneeling in front of a woman I love touching the place where my child is nestled. But now that I am, now that I have you and our baby, I can’t even describe what it means to me. You’re gifts I never thought I’d be given, and I intend to cherish and protect you both with my dying breath.”

She ran her hand through his short-cropped hair, lovingly stroking as he kissed her belly again. Tears crowded her eyes as she took in the enormity of this moment. She wanted to remember this forever. She wanted this moment to last forever.

This man, this gruff, beautiful man kneeling in front of her with such reverence and love in his voice. He spoke of her and their child being a gift, but he was her gift. One she’d never thought to receive as well.

When she was old and gray, she’d remember this moment. She’d tell her child of the time her father knelt in front of her and kissed her stomach, vowing to love and protect her always. She’d tell her child how very much she was loved from the very beginning.

“I love you, Maren,” Steele whispered against her belly. “I need you to believe that. I don’t know how or when it happened. But it’s there and it feels like it’s always been there. I can’t remember what it was like before you. Only that until you, my life was cold, lifeless and mechanical. No color. No vibrancy. I didn’t live. I
existed
. You changed all that. Before, my purpose, my goal, was to protect others. My life didn’t matter and I would have given it to protect my team or a person we’d been sent to save. But now it
matters
.
You
matter. You are the most important person in my life now. Not my team. Not KGI. Not nameless victims we rescue. You and this child are my life. You’ve given me reason to really live and not just exist anymore. I don’t think you realize just how much you’ve changed me in a very short period of time.”

Tears slid soundlessly down her cheeks as she absorbed the heartfelt words that poured from his lips. He lifted his head, catching her gaze, and the look in his eyes took her breath away. They burned with intensity and sincerity. Every word was reflected in those fierce blue eyes she’d once thought were cold as ice.

Now they blazed with warmth and love.

She cupped his face in her hands, not even bothering to wipe the tears away. Then she leaned down and kissed him and then she hugged him to her, his cheek pressed to her belly.

“I love you too, Steele. Oh God, you undo me. What can I even say to all you just told me? You can’t even imagine how hearing that affected me. I never dreamed of anyone saying things like that to me. I want to soak them all in so that twenty years from now I’ll still remember every single word.”

He slowly rose, holding her to him as he straightened to his full height. He tipped her chin up so she was looking him in the eye.

“You don’t ever have to worry about forgetting,” he said quietly. “Because I’m going to remind you every single day.”

He backed her slowly to the edge of the bed, their bodies touching, his mouth hovering just over hers, and as he leaned her down, he kissed her again. Hot, scorching. His body came down over hers, pressing her into the bed. He was a warm blanket, surrounding her with him, with his love.

He rolled to the side so she was no longer bearing his full weight, but before she could protest, he pressed his mouth to the curve of her breast and gently nuzzled closer to her nipple. He caressed her belly and then moved his hand to her other breast, palming it and then carefully brushing his thumb across her other nipple.

“Are they more sensitive now?” he asked. “Are you okay with me touching you here?”

“Oh God yes,” she breathed.

He chuckled lightly. “Is that an
oh God yes
, they’re sensitive, or
oh God yes
, you’re okay with me touching you?”

“Both. They’re definitely more sensitive. In the first weeks of pregnancy you wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere near them. They were so sensitive it hurt to even touch them. But now they’re just more tender, I guess. But I love you touching me.”

“Then you won’t mind this either,” he murmured just before he lowered his mouth to one straining peak.

She moaned as he sucked her nipple carefully into his mouth, exerting light pressure but enough to make her crazy with want and need.

He lifted his head to look at her. “Too much?”

“Oh no. I love it. Please don’t stop.”

He lowered his head again and then he traced a line around her other nipple with his fingertip while he tongued the other.

“They’re darker,” he said.

He moved his hand down, splaying his fingers over her belly, rubbing and caressing.

“You’re firmer here. I can feel the beginnings of a bump. It’s small and barely discernible by sight, but I can feel it. It’s amazing.”