Four Doors Down (6 page)

Poor guy.

The bell rings as Henderson calls the class to order, and I turn my attention back to class and the papers that Henderson is handing out. Today we’re reading poetry, I look down at the poem and my eyes widen in dismay.
Are you kidding me
?
Death Become Us by Louise Sinatti’.
Geez, not today.

Henderson starts reading out the lines and I can’t help but feel for Ryan. He really doesn’t need this right now.

When the darkness in the night creeps in

Whilst sat amongst thy loved ones

When the last breath on this earth is taken

When the light goes out in thy eyes

When you are taken to that empty place

That place where no one else awaits

When you must face the wrath of God

And see what future is for you

When you leave behind your loved ones

And go to that next place

Or is there even another place

Or just a dark and empty space

Where the dark night consumes you

In your final resting place

Oh God.

I swallow hard after reading the lines. I mean the poem is complete garbage, but if I’d just lost my grandmother, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be reading about dark and empty spaces.

“So what is the meaning behind this then?” Henderson asks. “What is she getting at?” He looks around and gets no response.

“Come on, class. I want an answer.”

Still no one speaks.

He looks around. “Mr. Jackson, what do you think? You usually have plenty to say.”

I freeze.
Oh no
. Seriously? Asking Ryan about death? Today of all days?

Ryan doesn’t respond.

“Come on, Mr. Jackson. Please, enlighten us here.”

I turn to look at Ryan, who hasn’t even looked up from his desk. There is silence.

“Ryan?” Mr. Henderson asks again.

Most of the class is looking over at him now and I can see his face going red. His hands are clenching into fists while he clearly tries to control his emotions.

“Ryan, what do you think the poem means when she talks about the dark night consuming?”

Ryan’s almost bright red now and I can see his chin start to wobble. I recognize that face from when we were children. It’s the face that he always pulled just before he started to cry. He looks up in panic and his eyes find mine.

“AAARGHHHHHH!” I scream, jumping up and pointing. “There’s a mouse!”

Instantly the class goes into overdrive, girls jumping out of their seats, the guys laughing and everyone staring at the spot where I’ve pointed. It takes Henderson a full ten minutes to calm everyone down after which he invites me back after school to “discuss my melodramatic nature.”

I sit down, knowing I’ve got another detention on the way and knowing my mom will go nuts when she finds out, but I don’t care. Henderson’s stopped questioning Ryan about death.

I walk out of school heaving a sigh of relief. It’s almost a full two hours later than I usually leave. Henderson kept me for ages, lecturing me on how I need to pull my act together. Then I swung by the art room to pick up some paints I left there and Miss Smith insisted on an in-depth discussion on where my project was going.

The parking lot is almost empty as I stroll toward my car texting Charlie about our plans for later. I’m so distracted that I’m practically at my car before I notice Ryan leaning against it. I stop a couple of feet away and he stands and faces me.

“Hey,” I say surprised.

“Hi.”

“Did you just finish football practice?” I ask, confused.

He shakes his head in response. “Nah, didn’t have any today.”

“Oh.” He’s been waiting here for two hours for me to get out of school?

He takes a deep breath. “Look, I just wanted to say thank you for before, in English. I was about to lose it and I know you jumped up like that to get everyone to stop looking at me.”

I consider denying it, playing it down but honestly what’s the point when he already knows. “Don’t worry about it.” I pause. “Ryan, I’m so sorry about Granny Susie. She was a really great person.”

He smiles sadly. “Yeah, she was.”

“She made the best brownies out of anyone ever.”

He laughs softly at this. “They were pretty awesome.”

We stand there awkwardly; I have no idea what to say. He looks around the empty parking lot but makes no move to go. “What are you doing tonight?” he asks suddenly.

“Me? I’m going to a movie with Charlie.”

He nods and looks at the ground.

“What are you doing?” I continue. “Staying home and spending time with your parents? Your mom must be devastated.”

“No, they went up to San Fran this morning to tell Lisa in person. They won’t be back tonight.” I nod. That makes sense. Lisa is Ryan’s older sister who lives out of town. She just had a baby and I’m sure Kathy would have wanted to make sure she was okay in person.

“So Jake?”

Ryan shakes his head. “He went out of town last night to look at colleges with his folks. It’s been planned for a while.”

Oh. This I wasn’t expecting. “So I guess it’s down to Mason and Kevin and those guys, huh?” He shakes his head, smiling ruefully. “No, don’t think I can handle those guys right now. Bianca’s having a party, but I haven’t told them about Granny Susie, and I’m just not in the mood.”

Oh, crap
. I open my mouth and then close it again.
Oh, come on!
This is the first time I will have seen Charlie since last Friday.

“Okay, so I should go. Thanks again.” He says and turns, walking toward his car. His shoulders are slumped and his head is downcast. He looks so sad.

Oh, fuck it.

“Hey, Ryan, wait.”

He turns round.

“Wanna come back to my house and watch movies all night?”

He looks surprised, but a slight smile appears on his lips. “What about Charlie?”

I shrug. “I can see him tomorrow.”

He frowns slightly, like he’s trying to make up his mind.

“Oh, come on, I’ll even buy you a pizza.”

Apparently this decides it and he smiles at me. “Okay. Thanks.”

Several hours later I’m curled up on the sofa having watched the entire trilogy of
The Godfather
films. I start yawning, it’s almost midnight and I’ve eaten enough pizza and ice cream to last me until the end of the year. Ryan reaches out and pulls my dad’s old copy of
Goodfella’s
off the shelf. Apparently he’s developed a penchant for gangster movies since we last hung out.

He turns to me and sees me yawning. “Are you tired? I can go?”

I shrug and shake my head. “It’s fine, put it on.”

He smiles and gets up to stick it in the DVD player. He’s definitely better than when he first got here, apart from when my mom came in and gave him a hug and I thought he was going to wobble a bit, he’s been okay. Quiet, but okay. To be honest, I think my mom was pretty surprised when she walked in and saw us on the couch together. She shot my dad a look, but I know she’s pleased with me. When I went to fetch the ice cream from the freezer, she kissed me on the forehead and whispered, “Well done, sweetie.”

Ryan sits back down on the sofa and glances over at me.

“What?”

“Do you have any more chips?”

Geez, the guy eats like a horse, but I get up anyway. What can I say? I’m a good hostess.

I wake up with a start, disorientated and not knowing where I am. I look around and realize I’ve fallen asleep in front of the TV. It’s still on although the DVD finished a long time ago. The clock on the wall tells me that it’s just after four in the morning. I look down and see that I’ve got the blanket that usually sits on the back of the sofa covering me. Ryan must have covered me when I fell asleep.

I glance over and he’s out cold, wheezing softly and leaning slightly toward me in his sleep. I look at him for a minute, which I know sounds creepy, but this is the first time in years I’ve been able to study him up close. His dark hair flops over to the side and being this close I can see it has flecks of lighter brown in it that I haven’t noticed before. He’s got light freckles covering the bridge of his nose, his jawline is strong and his nose is just slightly crooked making him look less like a pretty boy. His eyelashes match his hair and even though his eyes are closed, I know they’re the same deep turquoise blue as the Caribbean ocean.

Damn. Ryan grew up seriously hot.

I slowly lift myself off the couch. I should probably wake him so he can go back to his own bed because God knows he’ll have a neck ache in the morning after sleeping like that all night, but he looks so peaceful and he’s had such a shit week that I can’t bring myself to do it. I place the blanket I had covering me gently on top of him, moving quietly so that I don’t wake him. I exit the room, turning the lamp off as I go.

I wake up late the next day, yawning and stretching in bed. I’m tired, but at least I did my good deed for the week and, to be honest, it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Grief, it would seem, makes Ryan much less of a dick.

I smell bacon coming from the kitchen and stumble out of bed, making my way downstairs.

“Morning, sweetie,” my mom smiles over at the stove. I turn to my dad, who is at the island reading his paper, and nearly fall over when I see Ryan there next to him.

“You’re still here,” I say flatly.

Ryan’s gaze flicks over me quickly before he looks away, and I suddenly don’t feel as comfortable in the sleep shorts and tank top that I wear to bed. I’m not dumb enough to think he was checking me out or anything, but my body is way more exposed than he or any of the boys at school will have ever seen it. The tank top doesn’t quite reach the top of my shorts, flashing a couple of inches of my stomach and the shorts are short, serious leg is on display. But it’s annoying me that I’ve been made to feel like this. For God’s sake, this is my house and I’m being made to feel uncomfortable?

“Rebecca Louise McKenzie!” my mother snaps at me. I look at her and the thunderous look she gives me tells me I’m out of line.

Ryan clears his throat. “Your mom makes an awesome breakfast. I’m done, though, so I can go?”