From Fed Up to Fabulous: Real stories to inspire and unite women worldwide (10 page)

About Ruth Coetzee

As a single mother of 3 daughters Ruth always knew that she would break out of her corporate career and run her own businesses. Having boundless energy and determination to succeed, as well as setting the example for her daughters and grandchildren, she has worked tirelessly over the last 15 years in educating herself and deciding exactly which business was right for her.

This journey of discovery and learning brought her to the point where she was able  to give up a high level corporate career of 35 years and concentrate on building her businesses to become global players in their fields.

A fanatical reader and lifelong learner it stands to reason that her passion is books and writing. Her core business is focused in assisting authors to self-publish their books digitally and to create all types of value-added content that delivers results for her clients. As small businesses worldwide need all the support and help they can get, she is sharing her knowledge as well as her expertise with small business owners to grow their local businesses to great. She firmly believes that the youth of each nation is where the future lies and thus focuses on building small, effective young teams around her, educating and empowering them and then encouraging them to build their own legacy.

From what she has experienced and learnt over the last few years, Ruth has realized that the 50 plusses seem to feel that turning 50 is a death sentence, when in reality is should be seen as a blessing and is now also focused on educating and supporting her peer group worldwide on the beauty and freedom to be had, as well as the opportunities to contribute back to the world in so many different ways, after the big
50
.

She attributes the greatest portion of her success to what she has learnt over the years, to all the books she has read and still reads as well as to the coaches and mentors she’s had and still has, to take her life and businesses to the next level.

For more information about Ruth Coetzee visit:
 
www.ruthcoetzee.com
or
https://www.facebook.com/Ruth-Coetzee-808798989248085/?fref=ts

SHUNTELLA RICHARDSON
is a Speaker, Author, Life strategist, and Entrepreneur. Shuntella is on a mission to help individuals reach their highest potential in both business and career.

To be asked to share my plight amongst six other powerful women was and is still, an honor. Within hours, I jumped right in.  Not knowing specifically where to start; however, knowing precisely where to finish. By the 15
th
paragraph it appeared clear that my story was just that, a story. Woman meets man, falls in love, marries, has family, divorces, and the finale… single mom raises children. Yes, the view from 30,000 feet high would resemble the outcome of 1000’s of others but that wasn’t enough for me. Although a good read, the words provided nothing new. Nothing to hook on to outside of emotion, and surely nothing that women could walk away with as possibly a reference in preparing their journey through similar stages of life. One can learn through his or her own personal involvement from a particular situation or vicariously through someone else’s exposure.

“
Experience is the teacher of all things
.”  - Julius Caesar

With that said, thank you for allowing me to put my pride on the line. If in my sharing you see tiny or large pieces of yourself (no matter how big or small), it is my deepest desire that you find strength to move upward and onward despite mistakes. Despite hurt. Despite obstacles. Despite yourself.

And so my story begins…

The alarm went off at its scheduled 5:00AM setting; however, I was already awake. For about 3 seconds, you could hear the smooth introduction to Bill Withers’, “Lovely Day” coming from my phone. A perfect song to setup an awesome day, but today, the sound seemed booming and coarse.  I was alone, depressed, and with a small child. With closed eyes, I continued to lay in the quiet darkness; exhausted, disappointed, and concerned about my life. Hundreds of thoughts were flitting through my mind, as if reading a book from one page to the next. Eerily seeing similarities between my life and that of my mom’s. Not an exact replica, but too many parallels to ignore.

My circumstances went from great to good, good to bad, and then from bad to worse. My marriage, family structure, business and investments collapsed quickly. In no way was I prepared to lose almost everything. Like my mom and dad, we appeared to be a loving, smart, attractive, and successful family. Both couples had been hard workers, but inevitably, not towards the same goals. Our divorce had been years in the making. By the time the judge granted me my
freedom
in the spring of 2012, attorney fees well exceeded initial quotes and the real impact would last long after leaving the courtroom.

In one sweep – I went from being single, to getting married, becoming a mother, to filing for divorce, to being a single, divorced mom! All in one decade. Geez, what a whirlwind!  Also, in the same 10 years; my savings, credit score and retirement accounts took a huge plunge. Emotionally and structurally, I had to rebound – FAST! 

But WAIT!

There’s a silver lining in every cloud. The lessons that were learned are priceless. But let’s go back a few decades.

Let the Dreams Begin

When my parents purchased their first home on the south side of Chicago in its Englewood community, they were 26 years of age and paid for the large colonial style abode with 100% cash in hand. A huge feat for a couple with such humble beginnings. As the baby of nine and a teen unwed mother, my mom bravely relocated from Louisiana to Chicago in search of a better life for herself and daughter. Quickly she found a good paying job and a handsome, smart and ambitious man. My dad grew up in Chicago’s Robert Taylor homes. With hopes of the g
ood life,
the eldest of seven
sought to work and be an entrepreneur. They married and added three additional children.

As the eldest of my sister and two brothers, growing up would prove to be challenging. Once a nice place to raise a family, our streets would be overcome by crime, poverty, alcoholism, and drugs. To the point of having the barrel of a gun placed in my mouth, as friends and I were questioned by a drug dealer about a missing drug stash. I was 10! But from the ages of five to 17, this neighborhood is where my dreams took root. 

During my teens, visions of a grander life was fueled by long car rides on Saturday nights and reading. An uncle would drive alongside the roads of the wealthy. Manicured lawns, expensive cars parked on curved driveways paved with cobblestone, and enormous estates on acres and acres of land. Nothing like the daily view to the bus stop heading to and from high school. While a freshman, the English instructor assigned the reading of “Black Boy” by Richard Wright. The thought immediately caused anxiety. There wasn’t a bookstore along the bus route and even if there was, my weekly lunch and travel funds were allotted. At 13 budgeting was already a growing skillset, and there were no extras! Luckily, my dad loved to read and collect books during his many flea market expeditions. Over time, he had amassed a vast library. Authors such as, Zig Ziglar, Adam Smith, Dale Carnegie, Jim Collins and Napoleon Hill -- to name just a few flanked the shelves. The book was there, and as the saying goes, “the rest is history”. On those metal shelves, in those books, another world existed. My desire to read exploded and a connection to "If they can do it, so can I" started taking shape.  

Although exposure to outstanding literature fueled my mind’s eye, high school continued to be a sore spot.  A smart kid, but struggled socially and emotionally. Family dynamics of feuding parents left the kids in the household often unsettled. My dad being quite ambitious and my mom being such a hard worker, the ongoing fighting and feeling misunderstood, sent me from one residence to the next, of family and friends. A strong desire for security had a huge impact on my overall wellbeing and my grades. Literally going from being an honor roll pupil to some failing grades. The best hand that I ever played, was avoiding drugs and alcohol. Those factored in, would have surely made a strenuous set of circumstances, even harder to overcome. 

Determined and on my feet, I juggled university courses to be a pharmacist, and worked part-time customer service and pharmacy technician jobs. My quaint Hyde Park studio apartment was fully furnished with new white furniture and mirror-plated accents. All in my name, with my credit – or lack thereof. Heck, I was even armed with an American Express card! It’s funny looking back. 

Changing careers to the rapidly growing information technology arena, put my early 20’s right on track. Starting over, I landed a full-time job with the world’s largest distributor of wire and cable. The position was for a technical assistant for its Chicago sales office. The role was really that of a backup receptionist. Not quite technical, but it was a start. Salesforce Automation was the new buzz and team selection was in the works at corporate. Excitedly, accepting a trainer position; turned out to be a fancier receptionist/assistant gig. But it offered more pay, exposure and growth potential. 

The plan was to work hard, invest, build a wealthy nest egg and retire by the age of 40! I wanted to comfortably live in my passion of helping others live their purpose. Yep, that was the gist of it. Lofty goals for many, but not to me. Daily, I managed spreadsheets of my goals, tasks and budget. Joyfully filling in the cells of completed items with a soft shade of gray. Goodness, I was focused and organized! A perfect strategy because within seven years, I was promoted five times!

With access to more income, my dabbling in investments increased. No one in my immediate circle outwardly shared interest, so it was refreshing to date a handsome, smart and ambition man that spoke of financial freedom. Working and having his own small taxi business, investments and commercial property, I took his advice to "max out" my investment contributions. He became my confidante.

There was always a burning desire to venture out on my own – to become an entrepreneur. The first opportunity appeared at a Barnes N’ Nobles while reading a certification book. An Indian man approached me for one-on-one application training. Initially, his request seemed odd. But I took him on and not before long, another student joined too. We met weekly at the same bookstore for tutoring sessions. The money wasn’t a lot, but it was a taste of entrepreneurship. In a few short months, they were well on their way to landing jobs in the field. It was great, but now my students and extra money were gone.

Devoted to help others excel in their unique talents and gifts, I trained and added Success Coach to my arsenal. Business was extremely fulfilling, but dreadfully slow. Simply not knowing how to effectively market and build substantial revenue, but the skillset was invaluable and came in handy later. 

Time put into preparing and getting certified in various technologies were paying off. The Information Technology sector was hot and head hunters were on my trail.  Interviews were set up and in 2001, I accepted a promising path with a leader in the box industry. 

At 30, I purchased my mother a cute, brick 2-bedroom duplex. The accommodations were perfect, there was ample space for her and in my mind, the house would one day be an investment property to rent or sell. Although more than willing to help my mom, I was angry with her for not taking better care of her financial structure. She ended a marriage of almost 20 years in an emotional and monetary mess. Stating that she truly never knew the economic affairs of my dad, the divorce proceedings took over two years. 

The Great Pretender

In 2002, at the age of 31, my confidante and I became husband and wife. Four months later, we were managing some details of his estate; adding me to the trust and setting up life insurance policies. With no children, my spouse became the beneficiary of my $1,000,000.00 policy. 

For two years, we shared a dwelling in a northern suburb of Chicago that he purchased before marriage. A
diamond in the rough
but with my eye for interior design and his ability to deal with contractors, the dull and dim structure was transformed and placed on the market. In August of 2004, the house quickly sold. Weeks later, we found out that I was a few weeks pregnant. Not wanting to be hasty in selecting another residence, my empty property was renovated and we moved in.

In October, my husband admitted to an affair. Embarrassed, I didn’t tell a soul. Adding to the deck, was a doctor’s assessment of a high risk pregnancy. Right then, I decided that I wanted to have a healthy child and that marital woes could not be the focal point. Numbed out and too prideful, the house hunt quickened. With the help of a coworker, the perfect home was located. Over Memorial Day weekend of 2005, we took possession. In June, our baby girl was born.

In 2006, still unwilling to deal with reality, I took a loan from my 401K and purchased a tax franchise. My husband and his accountant took care of setting up the S Corp. With a toddler, a full-time job, and a new business, only with the help of family and God were the doors open by the first tax filing day. I can still remember the extreme joy of processing the initial return. Just like that, the office made over $300.00. I loved the business! The fun lasted for five tax seasons but the union ran its course.

In the fall of 2009, I filed for divorce. Bad got worse – RAPIDLY! There were so many questions that I honestly couldn’t answer about him or his state of affairs. Ladies read closely. It would take more than three years before the judge’s gavel would confirm the final state of my docket. All the while, not keeping track of my goals, tasks, spending and budget. 

During the 41 month ordeal, submittal of his documents indicated the following: