Frozen Teardrop (22 page)

I was confined to my bed once more and not able to move. I stared at the ceiling praying for guidance. I had no other help than my mother's and father's support that “all will end well.” They saw me go deep into a world of tears. I was in desperation. I longed for help, for guidance, for someone to pull me back up. I see now that most of all I was longing for my mother or father to lift off all the pressure and let me stop skating and everything that came with it. I wanted them to say it, so that I would not be blamed for anything. I know it was cowardly of me, yet when you believe in someone else other than yourself, you can also start to not believe in yourself at all. And this happened to me. I cried myself to sleep every night.

This was the end, I thought. Everything would have to stop. There was no way in the world this could go on. I was now critically injured. I could not go on and I was sure my parents would never let me go on. This was rock bottom, I thought. I had reached it. All these were merely thoughts and thoughts, nothing much more than energy flowing through. The whole world, it seemed, was determined for whatever reason to prove my thoughts and me wrong. I would have to figure out why by myself when I was truly ready. God saw I was neither ready nor ripe. I was still a child in body and soul, trying to be an adult. I was not to be freed from my misery yet.

I am featured in a Ripley's “Believe It or NOT!” comic strip on 4/27/03.
(Copyright 2003 Ripley Entertainment)

Photo shoot on the famous Dolder Rink in Zurich, Switzerland, 2005
(Photo by Christian Lanz)

The speed of my Biellmann spin created a blurred image during the Art on Ice show in 2003.
(Photo by Erwin Zueger)

My famous self-created “Lucinda Spin” at the Ice Theatre NY show (
www.icetheatreny.org
)
(Photo by Diane Bidermann. © Ice Theatre of New York and Diane Bidermann)

Skating on tour with one of my favorite dresses
(Photo by Gerard Vandystadt)

My famous layback spin photographed from above shows a wonderfully interesting angle.
(Photo by Gerard Vandystadt)

A striking ending pose in my famous, statuesque Gold Oscar costume
(Photo by Gerard Vandystadt)

Another one of my spin creations performed on tour aroundthe world
(Photo by Gerard Vandystadt)

Here I am performing a Biellmann spin at my first and favorite professional competition, the 2000 World Professional Figure Skating Championships in Washington D.C. I received several perfect scores of 10.0 and was the Hallmark moment of the day. Soon after this success I received an invitation to be a guest at the White House.
(Photo courtesy of IMG)

Photoshoot 2003
(Photo courtesy of Lucinda Ruh)

Photoshoot, Los Angeles, CA, 2003
(Photo courtesy of Lucinda Ruh)