Read GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY Online
Authors: John Chaffetz
GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY (6 page)
BILL, JOE and I are partaking in a local Happy Hour at a restaurant in the Dana Point Harbor. Guido is tucked quietly in his carrying case so that others in the facility will not be aware of his presence I ask them about their step into reality television.
Bill speaks first. “Well, I really got interested in reality television. So much so that I applied to be on Survivor number two in Australia. Joe was on the periphery and I wasn’t sure how he really felt about it.”
Joe grins and says, “Hey, I said ‘It’s okay with me, honey, go for it’! But to be honest, I wasn’t really thrilled about Billy doing that.”
Bill continues. “I never heard a word from Survivor so then I started following ‘Big Brother’. One day I was checking out the CBS Summer Global Adventure Series. The light bulb went on in my head! They wanted teams of two—perfect! But then I figured that Joe wouldn’t go for it. But he did!”
Now Joe is smiling broadly. “The difference, of course, was that it was both of us. If he had made it onto Survivor I’d have been left in the kitchen. I kid you not, we might have broken up.
“But it’s a million freaking dollars and world travel which we both love.
“One big problem, who would take care of Guido?”
When I then asked how much thought they gave to coming out ‘again’, this time on worldwide television, they were at first a bit pensive. But only momentarily.
THERE AREN’T many fifty year old women who can easily pass for thirty five, but Bill’s sister, *Dina, is one of them. She’s a stunner who must turn heads on a regular basis. Medium height, trim, beautifully dressed and groomed, bright, articulate and very black and white when it comes to opinions.
We are sitting across from each other at a small outdoor table. When I interview people I rely heavily on looking into their eyes when I ask a question. I want to catch that first flinch, that initial dart. Often times it is far more revealing than their verbal response. Unlucky for me, the sun is shining brightly and Dina is wearing a pair of high fashion sunglasses. I miss intruding into her eyes, but her answers and comments counteract much of that void.
“When did you first sense that your brother, Bill, might be gay. What was your original inkling?”
“Of course I didn’t understand ‘gay’ at the time, but I can tell you that when I was six and he was four I really did notice that Billy didn’t play with a lot of boys. It didn’t mean anything to me back then, but I have a very distinct recollection of that. You also need to know that it has never meant a damn thing to me.”
“And growing up?”
“He didn’t have any boy friends that mattered. In high school he did have a few girl friends, but not
real
girlfriends.
“He didn’t like athletics, but he and I fought physically pretty well. Then, when he was twelve and I was fourteen he gave me one helluva whack and that’s the very last time I ever hit him, or vice versa.”
She is in the zone now and her love for Bill is clearly radiating as I ask her about her parents and their awareness of Bill’s sexuality.
“My Mom was always so absorbed by the church, she still is, and her novena, that I never thought that she was really paying much attention to details, you know, like Bill’s sexuality. But she kept bugging me, and Billy too, about when he was going to bring home a girlfriend?
“All I could do, was tell her quite firmly to get off his back, ‘It’s not going to happen, Mom!’
“And, Dina how about your other siblings? How did they, how do they, handle Bill’s sexuality?”
“It was hard for Billy. He has a hard lifestyle for them. But he’s my favorite person in my family. I don’t know whether I’ve had something to do with that. It hasn’t been real easy sometimes for him.
“One time one of my sisters said that she wouldn’t invite Billy to Christmas because he was gay! I cut her off, one hundred percent! That’s just wrong. I don’t feel very close to her at all. We just share parents. That’s just something I could not tolerate—ever! She’s a lost cause. I have no room for her in my life. Of late, she’s kind of coming around, but she’s a lost cause. I really didn’t experience my dad’s reaction of feelings about Bill.
“I am closer to him, by far, than anyone else in my family. It has always been like that and I know that it always will be that way. He’s the smartest, most well-rounded, most responsible member of our family.”
There is no question about Dina regarding her love and devotion for her brother.
“WE HAD seen Richard Hatch on the original Survivor show. He never hid his gayness and we had absolutely no trepidation about hiding ours either”, said Bill. “We downloaded the endless application and got right on it.”
Joe is ginning as he says, “In addition to the lengthy written portion, we had to submit a video for the Amazing Race. We kept making the same boring type tapes that Bill sent in to Survivor. Just blah and lousy. We looked down at Guido and even he looked bored.”
“We had a brainstorm”, chimes in Bill, “and it resulted in our final video, which stars Guido, himself. The rest, while frustrating at times, just went together—and it changed both of our lives indelibly.”
Joe is now laughing out loud. “Among other things, CBS required us to each get our next of kin to sign off on a rather wordy release. That meant getting our respective mothers to sign the form. But both of them balked!”
Bill, sheepishly, explains their solution. “Well, we had to get them to sign so we each lied to our own mom. We told each of them that the other mother had already signed!”
“BILL TOLD me that Joe’s mother had signed the release. I really didn’t want to sign, but if she thought it was okay, how could I be the one that ruined it for them?
“After I signed, then Bill told me that I had to swear not to tell anyone. I would never, ever, go back on my word. And I didn’t.
“I truly watched the show with a priest and I never told him anything either.”
“I CRIED when Joe asked me to sign those papers for CBS, you know the release form for The Amazing Race. He begged me and begged me. I never want to go through that again.
“John, I didn’t care one single bit what that paper said. I was just not very excited about Joe going off to some weird place and eating horrible stuff!
“Then he finally told me that Bill’s mother had signed and he told me about Guido being in the video. So I signed.”
THE ENTRANTS were divided in their feelings about being selected for the Race. “We’d planned a trip to Hawaii and I was much more excited about that,” said Bill. “Oh no, I thought that our tape was clever enough to make it,” responded Joe.
The good news came on the 15
th
of December and Team Guido reacted in kind. Several weeks later, on the way to the first audition, they stopped at a Jaguar dealership. Only half joking, they vowed to buy a new Jaguar with their winnings from the Race.
Bill was a bit concerned about the interview process. “I was worried about whether or not Joe would be open enough—or would he clam up?” So they stopped at Shutters on The Beach, in Santa Monica, and had a couple of drinks to loosen up.
With Guido in his expensive carrying case the interview began.
“Bill was right to be concerned about me, but I had made a whole lot of business presentations. We’d figured that Bill would do most of the talking, but that didn’t prove to be the case. We were in there for about 40 minutes and they were pretty much just talking to me. In fact, through the whole thing Bill probably said two lines.
“It was apparent that they were totally unfamiliar with gay men. They asked a lot of stuff like ‘Did you have a commitment ceremony?’ et cetera, et cetera.
“I think my answer to their final question really sealed it. They asked, ‘What do you do to relax?’ and I answered I vacuum!
“Everyone on the staff howled.”
“THEY HAD borrowed my camcorder to make their audition tape for the Race and they’d given me as a reference so they confided in me because I had to know that CBS might call me.
“At first I thought they were nuts, but they explained the premise and I thought oh, they’d have fun. But I was also very concerned and I told them exactly that.
“This is going to open you up to all kinds of crazy people, some of whom could even come after you! You know what I’m talking about. I’m concerned about your safety! I’m not saying that they went into it blindly, but I wanted to make sure that they realized that there were potential risks.
“Despite all of that heavy stuff, there really was a lot of humor attached to it, particularly at the beginning. I ‘sat’ Guido during the ten day second interview process and I vowed to absolutely not do that if they were picked for the Race. He’s a cute little dog, but he got nervous at my place, especially around me, and he was throwing up and leaving souvenirs around my house! Bill’s sister, Dina, got that chore during the Race.
“Best of all, at one point in their interview, a casting person asked ‘may I assume that everyone close to you knows that you are gay?’ and Joe replied, ‘Oh my mom doesn’t know yet!’ And that was the honest truth. Joe’s dad knew and he had told Joe not to tell his mom.”
THE SEQUENCE of events stretched on for many months. The Race itself took some five weeks with Bill and Joe unable to discuss why they would be gone, nor where they would be. Then, almost six more months, a period of absolute silence in relation to anything whatsoever connected to the show, went by at an agonizingly slow pace. “It was excruciating”, said Bill. “I mean everybody that knew, and that was very few, realized that we could not and would not answer their questions. And there were so many people we wanted to share our exciting adventure with, but we knew we couldn’t possibly do that. So, the only ones we could really talk to were our fellow contestants and that was a wonderful outlet. We got really close to some of them.”
Eventually the show went on the air. And life changed dramatically for Team Guido.
IT DIDN’T take long for America to react to the Guidos. Unquestionably, the producers of reality television fully realize, and aggressively play to, the desire of many viewers to have contestants whom they love and those who they vehemently dislike. It was the lot of Team Guido to land squarely in the latter category. Perhaps Joe summed it up best when he said, on national television, “The camera never lies, but editing tells its own story.”
Those closest to Bill and Joe each had their own thoughts, opinions and takes on the Race:
•
Bill’s Mother
: “I was really very tuned in to the show. I watched each episode with a priest after bible study class. I just watched and watched. On Thanksgiving I figured they had won because they arrived in a big, black Jaguar. Well, they should have won, but they made a mistake in a couple of places.
•
Bill’s Sister, Dina
: “At first I thought ‘Why would they want to do that?’ And on TV! It was maddening to watch, especially because Billy wouldn’t tell me anything. I kind of thought, just a little bit, that he really had won. I also thought he’d be a little more buoyant if he’d won, but I wasn’t sure by any means.”
•
Michael
: “I think that their participation in the show was somewhat of a negative because of how they were portrayed, but I was really proud that they did it. I think, overall, that it helped as regards gay acceptance in this country. They’ve handled their ‘fame’ extraordinarily well.”
•
Joe’s Mom
: “I watched every episode. And, I watched it alone! The neighbors never asked me to watch with them and I never asked them. It’s none of their business. I watched alone, damn it! After, you should have heard some of the comments from some people around here: ‘You’re a celebrity! He doesn’t need the money—and on and on’. I don’t need that bullshit! I went to them and said, ‘Who the hell do you think you are saying that stuff?’ But some people have been very nice and they always ask how Joe is. I’m tough, but I’m soft inside.”
•
Joe’s Friend, John
: “When the show started airing I did hear from a few guys who admired Joe for his courage in coming out on national TV. And it’s good that Joe really hasn’t changed after being on the show. Now, had he won?” And John lets out a hearty laugh.
•
Joe’s Girlfriend, Chet
: “I was so proud of Joe, and Bill, for being in the Race. It took real courage. I had a class project in connection with it and my students just loved it! When it was all over Joe and Bill came to my school and spoke to the students. It was terrific! But, personally, I was too wrapped up in the whole Race. I couldn’t sleep. I saw Joe lose weight, I saw him frustrated and angry. It was gnawing at me. But then I figured they’d won. They’d just got a new Jaguar. I was sure. And I was wrong.”
But not everyone was upbeat and positive as the reader will come to learn.
