Get It Done When You're Depressed (10 page)
ads
Here are some other thoughts to consider:
• Work hard to overcome the feeling that this—writing a letter to yourself—is a silly idea you don’t think will work.
• Write this letter only when you’re well. That’s when you’re the most reasonable.
• If it’s still too hard to write, ask someone who knows you well to write a letter to you about how you are when you’re not depressed.
Remember:
We often listen to ourselves more than we listen to others. Let your well self communicate with your ill self through a letter. It’s like a message in a bottle you find when you really feel isolated. It could be just the message you need on a tough day.
We often listen to ourselves more than we listen to others. Let your well self communicate with your ill self through a letter. It’s like a message in a bottle you find when you really feel isolated. It could be just the message you need on a tough day.
13
Break Through the Depression Barrier
Some days, depression can feel like a heavy barrier over your head that’s so oppressive it’s hard to function. Not only can this be very frustrating, it can also be downright scary. It’s hard enough to deal with the negative thoughts caused by depression without having to deal with this physical feeling as well.
Think of how your body feels when you’re depressed. There’s a good chance that along with the negative thoughts, you also feel a sense of oppression as though you’re surrounded by an unseen force that’s zapping your energy and making it difficult for you to function the way you’d like.
You Can Break ThroughWhen you feel so physically helpless, acknowledge it as a sign that you’re being confined by depression. Recognizing the feeling before it literally keeps you from moving is a positive step in learning more about how depression can affect and limit your life. Just as some workers feel they are held back by a glass ceiling, when you’re depressed, you might feel a dark ceiling over your head that you can’t break through to get things done the way you want to.
These are the days when you have to think like a superhero and imagine yourself breaking through the barrier in order to move forward with the strategies in this book. When you do manage to lift the physically oppressed feeling, it can be as though the world goes from dark to light and your entire body feels like it has been set free.
Are you being squashed by the depression barrier?
• Does your body feel uncomfortable and squeezed?
• Do you feel like you’re in a box of misery?
• Do colors around you feel dark?
• Are you isolated in your own mind?
• Do you feel physically limited?
The depression barrier may be one of the first things you notice when you’re depressed. Use this recognition as a motivation for expanding your body and saying no to the feeling of physical limitation.
Robin’s StoryWhen I am particularly depressed, I feel like I’m enclosed in a black box. I sometimes feel this way mentally, as though there’s a dark fog around me, but the box feeling is like something is physically encircling me and making me miserable. It prevents me from functioning the way I want to.
These are the days when I’m particularly depressed, but I do know that I can deal with this box! I usually wake up with the feeling and have a plan ready. I say to myself,
This is not real. I’m not being pressured or oppressed. My brain is having some kind of odd physical feeling reaction, but there’s nothing really there.
I have a saying at my desk:
Work anyway, Robin. Work anyway.
I then move my body and stretch it as big as I can to remind me that I control my physical space.
This is not real. I’m not being pressured or oppressed. My brain is having some kind of odd physical feeling reaction, but there’s nothing really there.
I have a saying at my desk:
Work anyway, Robin. Work anyway.
I then move my body and stretch it as big as I can to remind me that I control my physical space.
I have no idea what’s going on in my brain when this happens or why my body reacts this way, but I know this is one part of depression I can often physically work out of my body so I feel better in the evening.
My StoryI have days when it feels like something large and black is hanging over my head. It feels real, and it feels like it won’t ever leave. It’s so oppressive I sometimes can’t even function. On the really bad days, I can feel it above me, trying to push down on my shoulders. It gets that bad. I look over my shoulder to get it to stop, but of course nothing’s there. I know it’s a physical symptom of depression and that there’s nothing really wrong with me, but it’s still a very troublesome part of my depression.
I often wonder,
How am I supposed to sit at my computer and write when I feel so overwhelmed physically?
I often get so mad and frustrated that I refuse to help myself. It’s as though this “thing” prevents me from taking care of myself. When I try to work with this feeling, I often feel like I want to punch something just to break through it. I’d like to fight it out, but there’s nothing to fight.
How am I supposed to sit at my computer and write when I feel so overwhelmed physically?
I often get so mad and frustrated that I refuse to help myself. It’s as though this “thing” prevents me from taking care of myself. When I try to work with this feeling, I often feel like I want to punch something just to break through it. I’d like to fight it out, but there’s nothing to fight.
What I do now:
• I know what it feels like, so I can recognize it instead of always wondering,
Why do I feel so oppressed? Is there something physically wrong with me?
Why do I feel so oppressed? Is there something physically wrong with me?
• I see looking over my shoulder as a sign that I’m depressed and need to go easy on myself.
• I accept it and ignore it when I have to.
Exercise
When you’re depressed, it’s easy to feel your space getting smaller and smaller. But look around you right now. See how wide the room or your office or wherever you are really is. The world is wide, and you’re a part of it. Picture the world from space. You are on the world, and you have plenty of room to expand. So expand! By literally making yourself bigger, you can create a feeling of well-being that helps you move on with your daily projects. Now look up and think of your head and the clear space over it. Then look all the way down your body, down to your feet. Your body is the same as it is when you’re well.
Why does everything feel so dark and oppressive when I’m depressed?
Because of changes in the brain during depression, depressed people have a very strong tendency to see negative life events in the world, in the past, in the future, and in themselves. These negatives are accentuated and can be very uncomfortable mentally and physically, to the point that the positive or beautiful are completely tuned out.
There’s also a lack of vibrancy in perception, and many people who are very depressed don’t register colors as keenly. The world looks like shades of gray. This can lead to an oppressive feeling that can often be felt physically as well.
The Oppressive Feeling Is Not RealAlthough the depression barrier feels very strong and real, it’s not. If you look up, you’ll see there’s nothing there. You’re not in a box, and you can get things done even when you can’t get rid of the feeling. Simply reminding yourself of this can help lift the pressure and help you be more physically comfortable throughout the day.
Here are some other thoughts to consider:
• Run or work out really hard.
• Visualize the oppression lifting from your body.
• Ignore it and move on with your day.
• Eat something really spicy. This can create endorphins that can help lift the physical feeling.
• Pump your fist in the air to remind yourself that you’re in control of your space.
• Listen to the Gipsy Kings (or whatever gets you moving) and dance!
Remember:
Feeling a physical presence over your head when you’re depressed is uncomfortable, but it’s normal, and most importantly, you can make it go away.
Feeling a physical presence over your head when you’re depressed is uncomfortable, but it’s normal, and most importantly, you can make it go away.
14
Feel the Depression ... and Do It Anyway
It’s natural that you want to work on getting rid of your depression. That’s often the main focus of your days when you’re sick. You know you have to get better, and you don’t want to be depressed for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, whatever you’re currently doing to get better might not be progressing the way you want it to. And while you’re working on this plan, you still have to get on with your work. That means you have to feel the depression … and do it anyway. You might just have to let the depression sit there instead of fighting it.
Waking Up DepressedWaking up gloomy, guilty, sad, irritated, or uneasy in general is a tough way to start the day. It’s easy to give in to those feelings the minute you get out of bed. And there’s a chance that the depression will stay with you all day.
But believe it or not, you don’t have to waste these days, even the really tough ones. After all, if you only get in a few hours of work, that’s better than nothing. When you’re depressed, you’re in a fog but you can still drive. You may be crying, but you can still fix dinner or go have coffee with a friend. When you get things done despite the depression, you can feel a real sense of accomplishment.
Are you experiencing any of these normal signs of depression?
• Depression makes you feel like you’re carrying a heavy weight.
• Depression follows you around and talks to you.
• Depression takes away your pleasure and makes you cry.
• Depression makes you feel hopeless, gloomy, and sad.
• Depression makes you doubt everything you do.
The list is endless. But the reality is that you can feel all these things and still do what you have to do anyway. You can feel so sick you don’t think you can get out of the bed, but you can. Working when you’re depressed is harder and sadder than working when you’re well, but it’s important that you focus on the outcome and how you want to feel when you get to bed. When you can acknowledge to yourself,
I did what I could today despite feeling so sick,
you take control—perhaps more control than you thought possible.
Ellen’s StoryI did what I could today despite feeling so sick,
you take control—perhaps more control than you thought possible.
Getting things done has many levels. It’s not always about work. Because I have depression, sometimes that simply means a day is going to be hard—sometimes impossibly hard. I just deal with it all—the thoughts, the feeling of heavy doom, the sadness. All of it gets in the way of my productivity, and it would do this forever if I let it. My depression is chronic, and unless a miracle happens (that would be nice!), I will deal with it for all my life.
On many, many days I’m depressed all day. And it’s definitely true that some days I don’t and can’t get things done. But these days are fewer now. I have taught myself that I can do the work anyway, no matter how depressed I am. And if I do have a day when it’s truly impossible to get things done, I remind myself,
Ellen, it’s an illness. It can be better tomorrow.
I’m a teacher, and when I need it, I try to get as much energy from my students as I can.
My StoryEllen, it’s an illness. It can be better tomorrow.
I’m a teacher, and when I need it, I try to get as much energy from my students as I can.
I wrote all my books—
all of them,
including this one—while I was battling depression; sometimes when I was seriously depressed and even suicidal. I had to. What were my options? Twenty more years of not really getting anything done? Twenty more years of starting a project and quitting before I was even halfway through? I’d had enough of that.
all of them,
including this one—while I was battling depression; sometimes when I was seriously depressed and even suicidal. I had to. What were my options? Twenty more years of not really getting anything done? Twenty more years of starting a project and quitting before I was even halfway through? I’d had enough of that.
I no longer let depression be the reason I don’t get things done. Some days are certainly tougher than others, but I can honestly say that in the past few years I’ve managed to stay out of bed during the day. (As small as that sounds, for those of us who spent what seems like years lying in bed, this is a big accomplishment!) I’ve gotten so good at this technique that people often say, “But you don’t seem depressed at all!” I consider this my greatest achievement. My depression is the same as always, but what I get done is 100 percent better.
What I do now:
• I still have days when nothing gets done. But I also know that these days make me feel terrible. So as much as possible, I make myself work, even when it feels impossible. I always have to remind myself that there has
never
been a situation where I felt better if I didn’t get something done.
never
been a situation where I felt better if I didn’t get something done.
• There are many days I want to substitute mindless behavior for actual work. But I’ve learned that the feeling I get after getting something done is often far superior to watching a bad DVD or some other pointless task.
• I have some days when I have trouble focusing my thoughts because of depression. I just have to feel this, accept it, and move on. I try to keep away from busy work such as paying bills on these days and focus on my writing.
Exercise
What depression symptoms make it difficult for you to get things done? Write them down here:
Memorize this list—write it down and carry it with you if you need to—and recall it on the days when having a normal life seems impossible. By knowing this list, you can actually compare your current thoughts with those of the past to realistically remind yourself that you always feel this way when you’re depressed and that you can get things done.
Why are some people able to work and get on with life despite being very depressed?
Clearly, some people struggle with enormous amounts of depression and yet keep functioning. Take Abraham Lincoln, for example. Some people are able to transcend their own suffering. This seems to be what he did; the need to lead his country outweighed his frequent urge to commit suicide. Find a purpose that engages your body and mind, like Lincoln and his country. You might be surprised how very much that helps.
ads
Other books
The Barter System by McClendon, Shayne
The Eye of God (The Fall of Erelith) by RJ Blain
Husband Sit (Husband #1) by Louise Cusack
Burning Desire by Donna Grant
Falling In by Dowell, Frances O'Roark
The Adultress by Philippa Carr
Loving Che by Ana Menendez
Captain Bjorn (Tales from The Compass Book 1) by Anyta Sunday, Dru Wellington
Grave Deeds by Betsy Struthers
Bestial by Harold Schechter
