Good for Now (Book One of The Now Series) (17 page)

Chapter 43

Julie

My cell phone rings, I am so excited to see it’s Amanda. We haven’t spoken for at least six months. I answer on the second ring.

“Hello.”

“Hey Julie, it’s Amanda.”

Her latest job was in New York giving private acting lessons. Amanda has made a name for herself in the entertaining industry, prepping actors for auditions. Many of them getting big movie roles.

Her stay in LA, didn’t go as planned. Life got in the way; bills had to be paid and the closest she could get to making steady income was coaching, and she was very good at it.

Last year she admitted after having too much to drink that she wished she had pushed more, because maybe then she would have been an A list actress. I could see the sadness in her eyes, I’m just hoping that life will throw her something better and the sadness she harbors will eventually disappear.

"I am so happy you called. I have so much to tell you."

"Me, too, so so much.”

"How was New York City?"

"Great, but I still like it better here, not one for the hustle and bustle of the city anymore, but the money is good. I have enough where I can take it easy for a while."

"So are you going to start auditioning again?” I ask.

"No, I already told you those days are over and I am OK with it. So please don't bring it up again."

"Hear you loud and clear. Guess what?" I ask Amanda.

"Come on you know how I hate guessing, what is it?”

“Take a guess for old time sake, please.”

“Alright for old time sake, but if I’m wrong you better tell me. I guess that you’ve met someone new?"

“No."

“Or Kevin is back."

“No, he isn’t."

"Really?" Amanda asks, with a hint of surprise. "Now that has got to be the longest time you haven't spoken to him."

I am taken back by Amanda's surprise. It's almost like she was disappointed I wasn't with Kevin. "Wasn't that the plan?"

"Yes, but I don't know, I don’t like saying this, but not hearing from you had me thinking you were seeing him again..."

“No, but you are right. I do have a track record going back to him,” I say, feeling sad. “Nothing hearing from him is what . I almost feel a hundred percent sure that I don't want him back, but I know it’s easier said than done."

"Wow, I'd say Violet has worked her magic on you."

I smile, not thinking of it that way, "You can say that, but I also feel after being emotionally slapped so many times, that I’m finally ready to move on."

I think the real test will be when he calls again. Will I crumble and agree to see him?

"Got another call, I'll call you later, OK?"

"Don't forget."

I hang up, clicking line one.

"Hello, Julie White," I say.

"Your voice still gives me a hard on."

I smile, realizing he is figuratively on his hands and knees, wanting something. I can hear him breathing. I bet he is hating that he is making the call. I might as well take him out of his misery.

"So Mr. William’s memory reappeared and he took the plea, am I right?” I ask.

"So not only are you smart, but a fucken mind reader, and with that voice you could ditch law and be an over the phone porn girl, you’d make a whole lot more than what you are making now.”

“I’m about to hang up.”

“Yes, he took the plea, but he now wants a refund. So I am not exactly happy if you know what I mean.”

I smile, thinking he should, if you promised him that the charges were going to be dropped. Keep it professional, I tell myself. "Well, just fax me over the signed plea and I'll get it over to the judge, and we will pretend this never happened.”

Robert takes a much deeper breath, like he is about to open up about something else. "OK...hold up, don't hang up just yet."

My heart starts elevating; feeling my temperature rise. I can only imagine what is about to come out of his mouth.

"I really want to ask you out for a drink tonight, but I know that is not up your alley. So how about lunch tomorrow? I'd like to meet you face to face, since our paths will cross in the future with the assholes we both represent. I can also give you the ins and outs of the office. After all I had your job, I sat in the chair your sitting in now. Oh, what a sight, our asses actually touched, but you got the benefit and I got the raw end of the deal.”

My heart won't quit pounding away, doesn't Robert even consider that the lines may be recording this conversation. Does he even think or is his brain really his penis. I feel even being on the other end of the line is wrong. No wonder he got fired.

"I’m real busy.”

"I am not stupid. I will not try any funny stuff on you. I just thought I’d pass you some office info you may want to know. Something that may save your ass one day.”

I can't say this hasn't peaked my interest, but still I feel it’s wrong. But I know Robert's type he will keep pursuing until I cave in, maybe meeting him will be the beginning to an end.

“Listen, I have another call I need to take.”

“Ok, suit yourself.”

I hang up, looking for the William’s file. I open it to find Robert’s cell phone number, if there is going to be a meeting I rather keep it private. I call him back.

“Robert Burns.”

“Hi, its Julie.”

“That was a quick call, or you are one smart ass girl, either way I’m glad you called back.”

I chuckle, “Meet me tomorrow at Charlie's, you know the place across the street from here. Right?”

“I know that place, like I know my ass. See you, and since you called so fast, I’ll give you the plea papers signed so the file will be officially closed tomorrow."

“Perfect, nice way of killing two birds with one stone." I say, regretting the comment, as it was so cliche.

"I like your fucken drive, it is so forceful. I bet you can be forceful in other ways too..."

I hang up, feeling like I had enough of Robert for a day. I feel sorry for the person who is or will ever be married to him. He is certainly a character, too much for his own good. One day he might con the wrong person and he’ll be gone.

Yet, I’m actually looking to tomorrow's lunch, because he’ll be good practice, to stand my ground, if Kevin ever comes around again.

Back to work. I look through the files, which I count to be 10 cases. I open each to see Robert was right when he said we’d be working together in the future, because I already see six files naming him as the defendant’s lawyer. I’ll have to ask him tomorrow, how he managed to be the go to lawyer for domestic crimes. I don’t like stereotyping but so far he seems to be the image of a slick, sleaze-bag lawyer. But according to Heather he’s not only a charmer but a good looking one. I suppose this is a deadly combination.

In the next three hours I managed to settle three of the work in progress cases; it seems when the evidence is overwhelming and jail time dangles, some defendants settle. They’re the smart ones; however, the ones that don’t, who like playing hard ball need more time to see the light, or they’ll try their luck in court.

I think of Anna, I still can’t believe that she is dead. The saying, here one moment and gone the next, has unfortunately made its point. I still feel terrible, if only she had stayed away from him like her mother had said. But it’s no secret that love can take away a person’s senses.

I swallow hard, thinking about walking in room number 4 to see Kevin fucking some girl from California, if I had cut ties with him earlier I could have avoided seeing them and dealing with the pain. I could have avoided much, like flying back to LA, believing him when he said he was going to get help for his sex addiction.

I was like a little puppet, believing his ever word, until he left me for Ms. Kemp. Even before he lost the case, he shut me out completely; not returning phone calls, texts and emails.

I felt like I wasn’t even alive. I realize I was in shock, that’s why I had no energy to do anything and sleep was my best friend. No one knew the real Kevin and what he did to me. I was too embarrassed and still am. I have just scratched the surface of what I went through with Kevin in my Violet sessions, as I like to call them. I don’t like to say therapy because I feel like she has become a good friend. A friend like Amanda. Shoot, I forgot to text her about to night. I reach over and type, hoping she is not mad.

“We still meeting tonight?”

My text goes through, I see she has already read it. Then I see she is in the middle of texting back.

“Yes, how about Blue Moon? It has been a while.”

“OK, What time?”

“Seven for dinner and drinks.”

“Great, see you then.”

I forgot about Blue Moon. Amanda and I would go there every Friday night, even when Kevin and I were together because he usually worked late. I shake my head, realizing how naive I was to not have thought he was screwing around, but I wasn’t necessarily looking for clues either. I can't help but wander to the time when I heard him and an intern going at it in his office.

I had been desperately trying to get in touch with him because my dad had tickets for a play I wanted to see that same night. He was not answering his calls and I thought why not just show up at his office ready to go to the play, thinking it was a good idea. He would already be dressed and we could just swing by the theater.

I remember pulling in the office parking lot, seeing his car, thinking what a dedicated man and lawyer he was. Feeling a warm tingling feeling in the stomach, feeling a bit naughty thinking we could have a quickie, before the opening of the curtains. I remember rushing to the building door, relieved that it was still opened. As I waited for the elevator doors to open, I opened my purse and applied lip stick.

I was ready to jump on him, feeling aroused. I knew he would be pleased and I was going to seduce him; it would be quick of course. But just knowing he was in his office working, working hard to accomplish his dreams got me thinking how I needed to step up to the plate and be the sex puppy he wanted. Fuck, I wanted it too. I felt like this was going to bring us closer; I was finally breaking out of my fucking shell.

I was ready to push him on his desk, brush everything off, slowly unzip his fly, reach in and suck his penis real slow. Get his juices flowing, tease him silly, thinking how much he would enjoy this sudden change in me. How he would adore me more, how he would love me more. I felt like I had finally become more sexually free-spirited and I was ready to step out of my old, prudish way.

The elevator door rung and I stepped out, feeling sexy and I couldn’t wait for him to see the new me. My juices were flowing; I could feel the moistness in my underwear. I knew this would excite him; he loved it when I was wet and ready to go. He hated when I was dry; saying I wasn’t really into sex, but when I read up on it. It actually said it was because I was not aroused enough, but this time I was. His actions were arousing him, he was arousing me in a different sort of way. Fuck, I was dripping by the time I got to his office door. It was locked. I banged on the door and no one answered. However, I could see a light in the back by his office. I called and again no answer.

Just as I was about to leave, I see Julio, the janitor, come out of another office.

“Oh hi Julio, can you let me in? Kevin locked his keys inside,” I lied, hoping Julio would not notice.

“Sure pretty lady.”

He opened the door and for a moment I thought he was going to walk in, but he said he had to finish cleaning three more offices on the floor.

“Is it OK if I let you get them yourself?”

“Of course, and thank you.”

“Nice seeing you. Are you going somewhere special? Not that you don’t always look pretty, but tonight you look extra-pretty.”

“Yes, out to a play.”

“Have fun,” Julio said, while unlocking office door next to Kevin’s.

I walked in, my senses saying I needed to be extra quiet. Fear took a hold of me, like it grabbed my hand in desperation, feeling like an afraid little girl again. So wanting to run out of the office. Stop it, I mumbled, you are fine. Soon this will be over and you’ll be in Kevin’s arms.

Then I heard Kevin laughing and for a second, I thought he was on the phone, closing an important deal. I was so proud and happy for him, just about to open his office door, when I heard a woman’s voice. The sound of it crushed me. I back away from the door terrified. What was going on?

“Come here,” Kevin demanded. “Don’t play that hard shit with me. Let me look at your beautiful body."

I just stood there in shock. The thin office door separating him from me. I felt numb, wanting to reach for the door but I just couldn’t. I just stood there, I couldn’t move. I pushed my hand a few inches forward, but I couldn’t reach far enough to turn the door knob.

I just stood there like a helpless child, hearing Kevin and this girl laugh. They talked how hysterical it was earlier when a coworker walked in the conference room saying it smelt like sex, blaming the evening cleaning crew.

“Did you see me turn away?” She asked him.

“Yes, I’m glad you did, or I’m sure we would have been found out.”

Then they laughed, saying how they must have forgotten to wipe off the chairs and table. Hearing this gave a whole new meaning to the phrase stabbed in the heart, her next words were especially hurtful, “I see someone is very excited, how about if I take care of it before you hurt yourself.”

Felt like a knife being pulled from me.

He moaned, saying, “You never stop, do you?”

She said, “No. I could do this all day long with you.”

Those words crushed me. Bitch. Slut. I hated her because I could never be like her, feeling angry.

Yet, tears were streaming down my hot cheeks, feeling like this was all my fault. I remember thinking, if you would’ve given him what he wanted he wouldn’t have to find it elsewhere. He wouldn’t be sex starved and be aroused by any intern. It wasn’t his fault that he was attractive and that women were throwing themselves at him, with open legs for him to have. My lack of sex drive, was the cause for this mess. I remembered thinking how can I fix this?