Grace Lost (31 page)

“Fuck,” said Gus.  “Zoe, you
did the right thing.”  Gus understood what I had done without me having to
say it.  I was glad, because I don’t think I could have found the words.

“Their hunger, it never
ends.  They’re searching for food, but they also need another person to
use as bait now.  Promise me you won’t let them do that to me?”

“Shhhh, Zo, don’t talk like that,”
said Boggs.  “That’s not going to happen.’

“Just promise me,” I replied.

I felt Gus take hold of my hand
under the blanket.  He squeezed, which I took as his promise to
me.   I knew if the time came, Boggs wouldn’t be able to pull the
trigger to end it for me, but I knew Gus would.  I squeezed back. 

It was well past dark.  A
nearly full moon was the only light in our hiding place, casting long shadows
about the room.  From their breathing patterns, I could tell that Gus and
Boggs were both also awake.  The tiny spark of unwelcome desire remained
in my head, reminding me that there was still a creature out there waiting for
something to hunt. 

“The girls must be worried about
us,” I whispered.

“I’m sure they are,” said Gus
quietly.  “But there’s nothing we can do.”

“Try not to worry, Zo. 
Emilie has a good head on her shoulders.  She’ll hold the fort down,” said
Boggs.

I turned to face Boggs, and
cuddled close.

“You cold?” he asked me.

“Ya,” I whispered. 
“Very.  And I can’t stand the feeling in my head,” I added. 

“Try to sleep, Zo.  We’ll
take care of you,” said my best friend and lover.  He put an arm around me
and Gus crept closer, doing the same.  The men apparently had no qualms
about protecting me together, or about sharing a bed to stay warm. 

 I tried to focus on
breathing evenly and deeply.  I tried to ignore the unwelcome bits in my
head.  As hard as I tried to sleep, it would not come.  The men must
have thought I had succumbed to fatigue.  They began whispering after
several long minutes, as if I weren’t listening.

“Gus, Buddy?”

“Ya?”

“Do
me
a
favor?”

“Name it.”

“Promise me that if anything
happens to me, you’ll take care of her?”

“It goes without saying, Boggs.”

“You know I’d do the same for
Emilie.”

“I know man.  Thanks for
saying so.”

“I can still hear you guys,” I
whispered. 

I felt Boggs sigh beside me.
 He shifted his weight to his back, causing me to roll onto my hip. 
I had become used to it aching when zombies were near, but the sudden movement
caused it to sting more than usual.  I winced.

“What’s wrong?” asked Boggs,
concerned.

“My hip.
  It’s just hurting.”

“I’ll look at it once it’s light
out,” said Gus quietly.

“Ok,” I whispered back to
him.  “Thanks.”

I rolled onto my other side to
relieve the pain, facing Gus.  Boggs nestled his face in against my neck.

“Speaking of Emilie,” I whispered
to Gus.  “You know she’s in love with you, right?”

“I think the feeling’s mutual,” he
chuckled under his breath.

“She’s worried about the age
difference.”

“Ah, it’s not so bad.  Plus I
don’t think there’s many people who will give us shit about it,” he replied.

“I suppose not.”

“
Zo,
is
the creature still out there?” asked Boggs.  I felt his hand slide up my
shirt, caressing my side.

“Ya.
  I think it’s sleeping.”

“They sleep?” asked Gus.

“It’s kind of like it’s zoned
out.  I can’t see anything, but I feel it in my head.  I’m guessing
its eyes are closed,” I whispered.

“Should we try to make a run for
it?” asked Boggs.

“No,” was all I said.  I took
comfort in Boggs’ warm hand resting against my bare skin. 

The three of us lay like that for
a long while without speaking.  I thought Boggs might be asleep at one
point.  I could see enough in the moonlight that I knew Gus was staring at
the ceiling.

“Penny for your
thoughts?”
I said to the cowboy.

“Just trying to map out in my head
how we’ll get out of this,” he answered.

“Do you think we will?”  I
paused.  “Get out of this?”

“I sure hope so, Zoe.  Try to
get some sleep.  I’ll stay awake.  We’ll need you awake and alert on
the drive out of here.”

I nodded.  “Ok.”

I closed my eyes.  If I
slept, it was lightly.

Sunlight filtered in through the
bedroom window.  The rain and wind had stopped sometime overnight. 
Boggs snored softly in my ear, his arm still resting on my side.  Gus was
still awake and staring at the ceiling.  My mind seemed to be my own again
with all traces of the lone zombie gone.  I felt groggy, though, my throat
was dry, and my bladder full.  I sat up, which was a struggle.  My
muscles had grown stiff during the night.

Boggs woke up when I moved, and
Gus looked at me.

“Morning,” they said in tandem.

“It’s gone.  We should go,” I
said, no longer whispering. 
“Now.”

“You sure?” asked Gus, his face
showing concern.

“I’m sure.  Let’s get out of
here before they come back.”

Boggs sat beside me and tucked my
hair behind my ear.   “Ok, Zo.”

Gus stood, looking tired, sore,
and stiff.  Boggs and I followed suit, standing as well. 

“Zoe, if you sense anything at any
point just
signal
us.  Let’s hurry to the
Explorer,” suggested Gus. 

The men took a moment to move the
heavy dresser that blocked the bedroom door.  I held my breath while Boggs
opened the door.  Even though my mind was void of intrusions, I was still
fearful of what might be waiting.  Gus walked into the hallway and I
followed.  Boggs brought up the rear.  The hallway floor was hardwood
and shiny.  It creaked as I stepped onto an intricate runner rug.  I
paused for just a moment, but Gus encouraged me on. 

“I need to use the bathroom,” I
mumbled.

“We all should,” said Boggs.

Gus nodded.  “Zoe, you go
first.”

I stepped into one of the large
bathrooms and walked to the toilet, which was rather extravagant with paws
molded on the bottom for decoration
..
  I hurried
with my business and tried to focus on my mind to be aware of any unwelcomed
intrusions, afraid the zombies would attack at any moment.  My hip still
ached and I was feeling crampy.  I didn’t need either distraction and
right now I didn’t want any reminders of how being a woman is supposed to be a
special and lovely thing.  I sighed and stood, pulled up my pants, and
walked to the mirror.  I had circles under my eyes.  I tried the tap,
but no water flowed.  I went back to the hall and Gus went to take care of
his needs next. 

Before long we had all relieved
ourselves and headed back to the main floor.  The toss pillow had fallen
out of the broken window in the door, and the floor was wet from rain that had
blown in.  The air smelled sickly sweet and foul, reminding me of the
morning we had burned the zombie bodies in front of our cabin.

“Do you smell it?” I asked. 
I crept to the front door and peeked outside.  The dead zombie was still
there, a soggy lump in the middle of the road.  The old man whose life I
had ended was gone, and left in his place was a pile of bloody shredded
clothes.  I felt sick to my stomach, imagining they had eaten what was
left of him.  Even in death they had found a way to violate him.

“Let’s get out of here,” whispered
Boggs.

“We’ll go out the back door. 
It’s closest to the Explorer,” said Gus in reply.

“Do you have the keys?” asked
Boggs. 

Gus reached into his front jeans
pocket and pulled the key ring out. 
“Right here.”

Boggs took hold of my elbow and
guided me through the bright kitchen to the broken back door.  We paused
before walking outside, to double check my ‘radar.’  I studied the inside
of my head while the guys opened the door.  I gave the all-clear, and we
stepped into the sunlight together.  It hurt my eyes.

“The car’s just around the
corner,” whispered Boggs.

I met his eyes with my own, and
could tell he was afraid.  I’m sure we all were.  We walked along the
back of the inn, and rounded the corner to where they had parked the SUV the
day before.  We stopped short.  The SUV sat facing away from
us.  Sitting on the gravel, also facing
away,
was
a small child.  She was hugging her knees and rocking herself back and
forth.  I started to step toward her, but Gus held his arm up to stop
me.  I looked at him, studying his face.  He was watching the child,
his eyes narrowed.  I looked at Boggs.  Surely he’d want to help a
child?  Boggs met my eyes with his, and pointed to his head with a questioning
look on his face.  I shook my head ‘no,’ assuming he wanted to know if I
sensed one of the dead creatures in our midst.   I looked back to the
child, who still hadn’t reacted to our approach.  She had dark pigtails
and wore a blue and white checkered dress.  I guessed she was about four
or five years old.  I looked back to Gus, who was slowly lowering his arm.

“Call to her,” he said softly to
me. 

“Why me?”
I asked in a whisper.

“A female voice,” was all he said
in reply.

I nodded.

“Sweetheart?”
I called out.  “Can you hear me?  We can help
you, honey.”

She didn’t answer, but rather
picked up speed in her rocking.

I could tell Gus was suspicious,
and Boggs was holding onto my elbow.

“Sweetie?”
  I tried again.

Gus had taken hold of his shotgun
with both hands, and Boggs copied him with his own gun.  I looked at them
both, unsure what to do.  Gus used two fingers to make a ‘walking’ symbol
and we proceeded forward, slowly.  Once we were only a couple of yards
away, the little girl twisted around to face us.  She had looked beautiful
from behind.  What faced us now made me lean forward and vomit
violently.  The front of her dress was soaked in blood.  Her face was
missing.  All that remained was a raw, bloodied hole where her eyes and
nose and mouth should be.  The outline of her jawbone and sinuses were
bright pink.  A few small white teeth stuck out at odd angles. 

“Oh God,” I moaned.  “Oh
God…”

“
Boggs,
turn Zoe away,” ordered Gus.  Boggs hesitated.  “Turn her away
NOW!”  He raised his sawed off-shotgun, walked to one side, and aimed at
the mutilated child.

Boggs held me close and forced me
to look away.  It didn’t take much for me to submit.  I jumped when I
heard the shotgun fire.  I proceeded to sob into Boggs’ chest.  “No,”
I cried. 
“God no!”

“Later, Zoe,” said Gus. 
“We’ll mourn later.”

“No, they’re coming…”  My
head was filled with hundreds of rapidly changing fragments of unwanted zombie
thoughts, sights, and memories.

“Get in the car!” shouted Gus.

Boggs lifted me off my feet and
ran with me in his arms the rest of the way toward the Explorer.  I kept
my eyes closed as he slid into the car with me.  The vehicle door slammed
behind me.  The ignition roared to life. 

I opened my eyes.  “They’re
close.  They see us, they see the car!  Fuck, Gus, go!” I yelled,
near hysteria. 

Boggs and I were in the rear seat
together.  I looked out the back window of the SUV.  The little
girl’s small body lay crumpled in the gravel, in a pool of dark red
blood.   Zombies were pouring out of the woods toward us.  I
could sense that they were livid over the girl being killed, but also excited
by the meal she was about to provide.  They had been looking for her for
days.  Several of them piled on her still warm corpse and began to rip her
small body apart.  The attention of most swung to us and the escaping car
and pursuit became their new mission.  The Explorer lurched forward
forcefully, and the tires spat gravel out behind us.  I was thrown against
the back of the rear seat.  Gus turned to the left sharply, trying to
skirt the drive to get around the wrought iron fence that encompassed the rest
of the property.  The motion threw me against Boggs.  I felt the
vehicle swerve to the right and our ride smoothed momentarily.  I sat up,
straightening myself.

“Get your seatbelts on,” said Gus
loudly.  His voice held authority.  I heard the ‘click’ as his buckle
engaged.

Boggs reached across me, grabbed
my belt, and buckled me in.  I looked at him with wide eyes before looking
forward.  There were two pale men standing in the road wearing military
uniforms.  I had no doubt that they were both dead.  I looked at them
and saw through their eyes as they looked back at us.  Gus started to slow
the vehicle.