Grace Lost (32 page)

“Gus, no!”
I yelled.  “They’re dead!”

Gus stepped on the gas, not
hesitating, picking up enough speed to knock the corpses over as he ran into
them with the front passenger fender and bumper.  The impact jolted us,
making me glad for the seatbelts.  The car swerved, but Gus managed to
keep control and straighten out.  The path in front of us was now
clear.  I looked out the back window again.  The hoard of zombies was
fading in the distance, as was the dizzying fog they had created in my mind.

“We forgot the map,” said Boggs,
breaking the silence.

“It’s ok.  I’ve got the route
in my head still,” replied Gus.

“That little girl…” I
moaned.  “What the hell was that?”

“Zoe, I had no choice.  I
couldn’t let her live like that,” said Gus.

I tried to slow my
breathing.  I was becoming light headed.

“I know, Gus, I know,” I said
between breaths.  “What’s happened?  What have we done to have lost
all of God’s Grace?  What have we done to deserve this?”  I was
having trouble keeping control of my own sanity and my voice was cracking. 
“What did that little girl do to deserve...
that
?”

“Boggs, get her to lean forward
and take some deep breaths.”

Boggs put his hand on my back to
encourage me to lean forward.  I did, and tears fell freely.   I
felt sick to my stomach again.  Try as I might, I couldn’t get rid of the
image of the little girl’s missing face out of my head. 

It felt like several miles passed
before I was able to think clearly again.  Gus spoke from the front
seat.  “We should be at the first turn off soon.  Boggs, I need Zoe
to focus.”

“Zo, can you sit up, Sweetheart?”
asked Boggs sweetly.

I lifted my head and leaned
back.  I wiped my face with the backs of my hands.  “I want to go
home, Boggs,” I moaned.

“I know baby, we’re trying to get
back.”

“No, I want to go
home
,” I
said more softly.

“I know, but you know we can’t.”

I nodded.  “I just hate this
all.  I hate this
so much
.”

 “I need you to focus for us,
ok?” said Boggs.

I nodded.  “
There’s no zombies
here.  I feel so sick.  Those
two in uniform, they wanted us to think they were living people.”

“I know, Zo, I know,” soothed
Boggs.

Gus turned onto to a smaller
roadway.  It was dotted with the occasional pothole, making for a rougher
ride.

“About two more miles and we’ll
turn off again,” announced Gus. 

We continued on.  The car was
filled with an odd sort of tension.  We were all tired and overall
weary.  The next turn evolved into many curves and a rise in
elevation.  After about an hour, Gus turned off onto the road that hugged
Lake Arrow.  I looked across the lake, wondering just where the cabin
was.  The water was a brilliant blue in the sunlight.  My stomach was
in knots, both from the curves in the road as well as knowing that soon we’d be
without the protection of the Explorer. 

“Ok, kids, this is it,” said Gus. 
“We’ll need to follow the shoreline and if I’m right, the cabin will be back in
the woods right about…”  He pointed to a large boulder on the shoreline
across the lake.  “There.”

“Let’s do it,” said Boggs.

“We have maybe two hours of good
daylight left,” said Gus.  We’ll need to keep a steady pace. 
Zoe, anything lurking about in the woods?”

“No.  Nothing I can sense.”

“Ok, then, let’s go.  We can
come back for the supplies later.  I just want to get back for now,” said
Gus.

We got out of the car and looked
around to get our bearings.  I heard a bird twittering above, which I knew
was a good sign.  The road had ended with concrete barriers that prevented
people from going off-road.  We walked toward the shore, which meant
traversing down a steep hill.  The ground was still rain-soaked, which
made the way slippery.  I opted to scoot down the steepest section on my
butt.  The day was quickly turning to evening and a chill was creeping in
from the lake.  In the distance a mist had formed over the water.  We
marched on, the path made difficult by rocks of all sizes and underbrush that
threatened to grab our ankles and trip us.  The trees were thickening
around us, causing the sunlight to be heavily filtered.  I walked between
Gus and Boggs with my arms defensively wrapped around myself. 

It took us at least two hours to
reach the boulder that Gus had identified as a marker.  It was larger in
person than it had seemed from across the lake.  It was covered in moss on
one side and sat partly in the water.  The sun was almost set and we
didn’t know how far the cabin was from the water’s edge.

“We need to pick up our pace,”
whispered Gus.  “Last thing I want is to be stuck out here after dark.”

“You won’t hear me disagree,” I
mumbled. 

“Ok, then.  Onward we go,” said
Boggs.

We began our trek away from the
edge of the lake.  The way became even more treacherous with overgrown
bushes as we reentered the woods. 

“Over there,” I said.  “It
looks like a trail.”

The three of us walked to an area
that looked like it may have once been a path.  It was already filling in
with vines and plants, but we hoped it would lead us home.  We all knew it
may just be a pathway used by the animals of the forest.  We followed it
in the general direction that the cabin should be situated. 

“It seems like we should have been
there by now,” I said.

“Maybe,” said Gus. 
“Maybe not.”
  He sounded grumpy.

We continued on for about five
more minutes before the trees opened up to a familiar clearing.  I smiled
and was so glad to see the familiar cabin and the old white step van sitting
out front.  It looked just as we had left it. 
Almost.
 
Something was off, but it was hard to pinpoint.

“Stop,” I whispered as Gus was
about to leave the tree line.

He looked back at me like I was
crazy.  “What is it, Zo?”

“Something’s different.  I’m
not sure what.  Give me a second.”  I sounded grouchy myself.  I
looked around the cabin.  I studied the step van that was off to the side,
the portion of the shed that was in view, the boarded up windows.

“The bones,” said Boggs. 
“The bones are gone.  We never buried them.”

Gus used his thumb and forefinger
to stroke his chin in thought.  “Huh,” he said with curiosity in his
voice.  “Zoe? 
Any company?”

I studied my mind.  “No.”

“Ok, let’s just proceed with extra
caution.  I want to get home,” said Gus.

We left the woods and walked
toward the cabin.  It looked tranquil.  Nothing aside from the absent
bones seemed out of place until we heard a loud scream.   It clearly
came from within the cabin and sounded like someone was in utter agony. 
We stopped in our tracks, and I looked at Gus.  He began walking quickly
toward the building where we hoped to find our friends safe and sound. 
The scream broke the silence of the clearing again, this time longer and drawn
out.

“Oh God,” said Gus as he broke out
into a run.  Boggs and I sprinted behind him to the front porch.  We
found the door boarded as we had left it, locked from the inside.  Gus
began pounding on the door and shouted out.

“Emilie!  Emilie it’s us! Let
us in!”

“Gus!  What is it?” I asked
loudly.

He continued pounding, ignoring my
question.  “Emilie!  Susan!  Open the door!”

I stepped close to Boggs and clung
to his arm.

Gus finally looked at us. 
“It sounds like Louisa.”  He raised his fist to pound on the boarded up
door again, when we heard the lock disengaging.  The outer layer of the
rigged door opened outward toward us, exposing a scared and wide eyed Emilie.

She rushed forward and clung to
Gus. 
“Oh, God.
we
thought you weren’t coming back!” She began crying.

Gus held her back from himself to
study her.  “Emilie what’s going on?”  Louisa screamed out
again.  Gus looked toward the stairs.

“Where is she?” he asked.

“Upstairs.  Gus, her water
broke.  She’s in horrible pain.”  Emilie was wiping at her tears.

“How long ago?” he asked as he
stepped into the cabin.

“About eight hours now,” she
said.  “She didn’t have pain until about an hour ago.”

“Take me to her,” said Gus. 
“Boggs, lock up?”  Gus handed his shotgun to Boggs and quickly followed
Emilie up the stairs.

“Boggs, I should go with, see if I
can help.”

“
Zoe,
isn’t it too early for the baby to come and make it?” asked Boggs.

“I think so,” I said.  I knew
very little about pregnancy and birth. 

“Go,” he said.  “Let me know
if I can help?”

I nodded, and rushed up the
stairs.

I heard Louisa scream again, and
reluctantly followed the sound to her room.  She was lying on the bed,
naked from the waist down.  There was blood pooled on the mattress between
her legs.  Susan sat beside her, holding her hand.  She held a cool
washcloth to the girl’s forehead with her free hand.  Susan looked at me,
tears in her eyes.  I walked to her and placed a hand on her
shoulder.  As much as I disliked her, she looked like she needed human
touch and kindness. 

“Need a break?” I whispered to
her.

She nodded.  I slipped my
hand between hers and Louisa’s and gripped the young girls hand with my
own.  Susan stood and I took her place on the bed.  “Boggs is
downstairs,” I said to Susan.  Crazy as it may seem, I figured they might
take advantage of the alone time and talk.  I figured that might be a good
thing.

 Louisa gripped at my hand,
hard.  Her nails dug into my palm as she writhed in agony once
again.  It was so difficult to watch.  Once the pain ebbed, Gus spoke
softly to her.

“Louisa,
it’s
Gus.  I’m here, darlin.’”

She opened her eyes, and looked at
him.  She was panting and had sweat on her face and chest.

“Louisa, I know it hurts.  I
need you tell me exactly how many weeks you are.”

She nodded. 
“Twenty-two now.”
  A tear rolled down her cheek. 
“It’s too early, he can’t come yet.  The baby can’t come yet.”

“I know darlin,’” said Gus in a
soothing tone.

“Emilie, when her water broke what
color was it?”

Emilie sat on the bed opposite me,
and took Louisa’s other hand in her own.  “It was a little bloody, and
then clear,” she answered. 

“Ok,” he said. 
“Louisa.  I want to be honest with you darlin.’  If your water broke
there’s nothing we can do.  It means the baby’s coming.”

Louisa took a shuddering breath
in, and then nodded quietly.  Her grip on my hand tightened again she
struggled through the pain.  This bout seemed worse than the one before.

“Gus,” I whispered. 

He looked over at me.  I
didn’t want to say it out loud, so I motioned to Louisa’s private area with my
free hand.  He looked and nodded.  There was a lot more blood than
when I had entered the room.  I tried to not look too closely, knowing it
would make me sick to my stomach.  Gus must have read my face.

“Zoe, do you mind fetching a
couple towels for me?” he asked quietly.

“Sure,” I said.  I let go of
Louisa’s hand and stood.  I left the room quickly and walked to the
bathroom, where I collected a couple of bath towels.  I thought again and
also collected hand towels and a few wash cloths. 

I walked back into the room, set
the towels alongside Louisa, and sat back down beside her.  I didn’t want
to be in the room but felt the need to stay with my friend through her
pain. 

Louisa had just finished an
agonizing episode and looked so tired.  “I need to use the bathroom,” she
mumbled quietly.

“I think
it’s
best you stay in bed now, darlin,” said Gus.

“No,” Louisa shook her head back
and forth.  “I need to go number two.”

Gus sighed.  “Louisa, you
know I’m a nurse and birthing babies isn’t at all my specialty, but I know when
the baby’s about to come it can feel like you need to go.”

“No,” cried
Louisa.
  “He can’t come!  He
can’t.”

“I know, darlin,’ but he is. 
I’ll help you the best I can.”

Her next contraction came closer
this time.  The bed filled with fresh blood and amniotic fluid.  The
smell made me cringe.

“No,” moaned
Louisa.
  “
No, sweet baby, not
yet,”
she said quietly.

“Louisa do you feel like pushing?”
asked Gus.

“No, no
no
,”
she moaned.  “No I can’t.  I won’t,” she moaned as another pain
ripped through her body.  “No…”