Grace Lost (36 page)

It was at that moment I saw one of
the three bobbers dunk under the surface of the water and bounce back wildly.

“Got one!”
I whispered, not daring to yell.

Boggs jumped up and picked the
pole up from where he had wedged it between some rocks.  He gave the pole
a flick backwards to set the hook and began reeling.  I was standing
beside him, waiting anxiously to see what would appear on the other end.

The fish finally broke the
surface.  It splashed about, struggling to dislodge itself from the barbed
hook.  I smiled when Boggs gently lifted it, still using the pole, and
carefully moved it through the air to hang over the shore.

“Grab the pillowcase, Zo?”

I scuttled over to where the
makeshift fish sack had been set, then walked up to the flailing trout and held
the case open.  I helped get it inside and Boggs set the pole down to come
help dislodge the hook from its mouth.  The fish continued to thrash
about, so Boggs took the sack from me and twisted the top closed.  He beat
it against one of the larger rocks to end the misery of the poor fish. 

“She’s a beauty,” said
Boggs.  The trout was close to a foot long. 

“I hope we get more,” I said with
a smile on my face.

“You know, we might be luckier if
we fish naked,” said Boggs in a serious tone. 

I looked at him for moment before
I laughed.

“You’re so full of it today,” I
said.

He groaned.  “You have no
idea.  Give me ten minutes?  Please?”  He looked at me
pleadingly.

“Out here?” I asked, shocked.

“Please?”  He walked closer
to me and held onto the sleeves of my shirt gently.  He looked down, then
slowly up to my face. 
“Pretty please?”
  He
was doing his best to make pathetic puppy dog eyes at me.

“Boggs…”

He leaned in and kissed me with
passion.  His hands left my sleeves and ran up the inside of my
shirt.  The coldness of his fingers made me gasp.  He backed away
just enough to pull his shirt over his head.  I stared at his bare chest
and my breathing quickened.  I pulled my own shirt off and allowed Boggs
to reach behind me to unhook my bra.  He leaned down and took one of my
breasts into his mouth and sucked deeply, causing me to gasp. 

“Boggs,” I whispered.  “That
hurts.”

He took more of my breast into his
mouth and moaned, but continued with a gentler suction.  His hands
searched for my pants and tugged at them. 

I reached down to lift his chin to
me.  He stood back up and moved his mouth to my neck.  I moaned from
the pleasure it caused.  I brought my hands to his chest and studied his
muscles with my palms.  He pulled my pants down past my hips and I stepped
out of them.

“Are you sure we should do this,
here?” I whispered.

“Oh God, Zoe, I think we should do
this
everywhere
,” he said against my neck.

I fumbled for his belt buckle and
hurriedly unfastened his fly. 

“Can we try something new?” he
whispered into my ear.

I nodded into his chest. 
“
MmHmm
.”

He knelt on the blanket we had laid
out and pulled me down to him.  He sat down and started to lie on his
back, pulling me on top of him.  I straddled his body and felt his
hardness searching for me.  He reached up to hold both of my breasts in
his hands and looked at me lovingly.   I situated myself on top of
him so that I could slide onto of his erection.  Once he was inside of me,
I groaned a little louder than I had meant to.  His was kneading my
breasts with too much force so I placed my hands on
his
and guided them to my hips instead.  I ground against him with new found
eagerness and my body rippled with orgasmic pleasure sooner than I had meant
for it to.  Boggs followed suit, filling me with the physical sign of his
love.  I collapsed onto him and he held me tenderly. 

“That was amazing, Zoe,” he
whispered into my ear.  “You are amazing.”

We stayed like that until we
noticed it was growing dark outside. 

“Zo?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s get this fish back to the
others.  It’s getting dark.”

“Ok,” I said, lazily. I climbed
off of him and found myself wishing we could stay.  We both got dressed
and went to reel in the last two lines.  To our delight, one of the two
had a smaller trout hooked.  It didn’t give much of a fight. 

I was tasked with carrying back
the two blankets and the case holding the fish.  Boggs carried the poles
and gear. 

When we returned to the cabin, the
other three had thrown together a Shepherd’s Pie using instant mashed potatoes
and canned vegetables.  I was told it also had fresh meat from one of the
traps.  I didn’t ask what kind, not wanting to know.  It was
baking
in the oven and the cabin smelled delightful. 
Boggs took the two fish to the kitchen sink to clean them.

 “Susan,” called Boggs.

Susan came walking into the
kitchen eagerly, which I didn’t like.  “Yes, Adam?  What is it?”

“Come over to the sink please?”

I sat at the kitchen table and
watched her saunter to Boggs’ side.  I stifled a giggle when I saw her
facial expression as she looked at what he was doing.

“That is
so gross
,” she
said.  “I don’t want to see dead fish cut open!”  She slapped him
playfully on the shoulder.

I saw him laugh under his breath.

Gus had followed her into the room
and was leaning against the wall, smirking.  “You all need to learn how to
clean fish, and anything else we catch.  This is going to be how we stay
alive,” he said with authority.

“It’s not so bad,” said
Emilie.  “Susan, you can do it.”

“Barf,” is all Susan said in
reply.

“Gus, can you take Zoe outside to
fill a pan with snow?” asked Boggs.  “I’ll clean the fish and we can pack
it on ice for the night since you all made supper already.”

I stood, wincing from sore
muscles.

“You ok?” asked Emilie.

I nodded. 
“Just
sore.”

Gus and I walked to the porch
together.  I was getting used to accompanying the others outside, knowing
I was their zombie alarm system.  He brought a nine-by-thirteen deep dish
pan to use for snow.  To my dismay white flakes were again falling from
the sky. 

“Guess this means another wait on
going to the Explorer?” I mumbled.

Gus looked up at the sky.  “Whatcha
need so bad?”

“I was hoping for the books.”

“You look pale, Zoe. 
You feeling
ok?”

“Just tired.”

“How’s your hip?”

I yawned.  “It’s been feeling
better the past few days.  I noticed that…the green streaks…”

“Ya?” he asked.

“Louisa had them on her face after
she was finally gone.  I mean after she had turned and you...”  I
didn’t really want to say the words.

Gus sighed and put his hands on
his hips.  “I guess that lends credence to my theory on your hip, huh?”

“Ya I guess so.”

“Go ahead and sit on the steps and
I’ll fill the pan up for Boggs.”

“I’m still scared I’ll die in the
night and turn into one of them,” I said.

“Zoe, it’s been almost a month
now.  I don’t think that’s going to happen, darlin.’  Try not to
worry so much.”

“’Kay.”

I watched as he set to work
scooping snow into the pan.

“Gus?” I asked.

“Yup?”

“What kind of meat is in the
oven?”

He laughed. 
“Rabbit.”

“I guess that’s not so bad,” I
said as I chewed on a thumbnail. 

“Tastes just like chicken,” he
joked.

Within an hour the sun had set and
the Shepherd’s Pie was ready to eat.  Gus had found a stool in the shed
and had brought it in as a fifth seat, allowing us to all sit at the table at
the same time.  The trout was cleaned and on ice inside the fridge. 
Boggs had said that the ice would help keep the fish from drying out.

Emilie carried the hot casserole
dish to the center of the table using two hot pads.  Since she had thrown
the recipe together, we all suggested she be served first.  Gus was happy
to pile the hot food onto her plate, and continued to do so around the
table.  As good as it smelled, as soon as the food hit my plate my stomach
churned in protest and I felt vomit creeping up my throat.  I covered my
mouth with my hand and stood, knocking my chair over.  I ran to the stairs
and up to the bathroom.  I wasn’t able to make it all the way to the
toilet, so vomited into the sink.  The sight and smell of what came from
my own stomach made me retch again.  Tears streamed down my face from the
strain of vomiting.  I fumbled with a hand towel and washed my hands and
face.  The room was spinning and I sat on the floor near the toilet with
my back against the wall.

After several minutes, there was a
light knock on the still-open door.  I looked up.  Gus was standing
there with a look of concern on his face.

“Zoe?  You ok darlin’?” he
asked quietly.

I shook my head no.  “I feel
really sick.”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

I nodded.  “Where’s Boggs?”

“They’re all downstairs eating.”

The thought of the food made me
dry heave.

“Slow down, Zoe,” said Gus. 
He put a wash cloth under the tap, wrung it out, and placed it on my
forehead.  He folded a bath towel and set it on my lap.   “Just
in case you lose more cookies,” he explained.  “That’s what my mom used to
do for me when I was little.  I used to get sick a lot.”

“Do you really think the olive
juice made me sick?” I asked.

“Nah,” he said.  “I was just
kidding about that.  You’ve eaten the same things the rest of us have, so
I doubt
it’s
food poisoning.”  He felt my
forehead.  “You don’t feel like you have a fever, so I don’t think the
infection is back.”  He looked thoughtful for several moments.  “Do
you feel like you can go lay down for awhile?”

I shook my head no. 
“Maybe a hot bath and some tea?”

“Ok.  I’ll have Em come up
and help you.  Just sit tight for a bit?”

I nodded.  As he left the
room, I situated myself over the toilet and threw up again. My stomach empty,
it was just bile that left a bitter taste in my mouth.  Afterward, I stood
and rinsed my mouth using my hands to cup water from the sink faucet.  I
had started shaking, so sat back down.  It took Emilie several minutes to
join me in the bathroom.  She carried a cup of steaming tea, set it on the
counter, and sat across from me.

“Gus said you’re feeling pretty
pukey
,” she said quietly.

“I feel a little better now,”

“Zo, you’re shaking.  When
did you eat last?”

“Lunch.
  The oatmeal just came back up.”

“Gus said you want to take a
bath.”

“Ya, I feel
kinda
gross.”

“Want me to run the water for
you?”

I nodded. 
“Ya.
Thanks.”

“Everyone’s pretty worried about
you, Zoe.  Gus wants me to ask you some personal stuff.”

I looked up.  “What do you
mean?”

“Well, he’s worried that with the
throwing up, not eating, and being tired it might be something we need to check
into.  He wants to know how long it’s been since you had a period.”

“No,” I said quickly. 
“
Nuh
-uh, no way.”

“Zoe?”  Gus’ voice
interrupted from the hallway.  “Sorry to be so personal but we need to
know.  We’re just trying to help.”

“God, no.”
  I shook my head back and forth.

“Zoe, calm down,” said Gus. 
“We’ll get it figured out.”  He looked at Emilie.  “Em, there’s some
stuff about myself I haven’t told you yet.  I want you to stay while I
talk to Zoe, but I don’t want you getting upset.”

She looked at him in
confusion.  Their eyes locked before she spoke.  “Ok, Gus.  Ok.”

Gus looked back at me.  “Zoe,
when I was just out of high school I got married.  We were only
eighteen.  Thought we were in love.  We had two kids together. 
Everything was great for awhile until she started fooling around and left me
for another guy.  She took the kids with her.  Anyway, she felt a lot
like you’ve been feeling early on both times she was expecting.  I might
be wrong, but we need to know if it’s a possibility here.  Do you
understand?”  He studied me, his eyes soft and full of caring.

“Yes,” I said. 

“Have you had a period since this
all happened?” he asked.