Grace Lost (37 page)

I knew he meant since the dead had
risen and our world was turned upside down.  I shook my head no.  “I
thought I was going to start back at the bed and breakfast, but never did.”

Gus looked down, deep in
thought.  “We’ve been here for just over three weeks.  Are you on the
pill, or using birth control?”

I shook my head no.

Gus sighed in obvious disapproval.

I started crying.  “Don’t be
mad at me.”  I sniffled.

“No one’s mad,” said Gus. 
“And if I get mad at anyone, it’ll be at Boggs.”

Gus stood, leaving me and Emilie
alone in the bathroom. 

“Wow,” she said.  I looked up
at her.  “I didn’t know he had kids. 
Or had been
married.”

“Don’t be too rough on him,
Em.  It might just be hard for him to talk about.  You know he’s in
love with you now, and that’s what should matter.”

“I know,” she said, followed by a
heavy breath.  “Back at the general store I raided the feminine
aisle.  I
kinda
took a little of
everything.  I think you should take a home pregnancy test, Zo.”

“I don’t want to know,” I mumbled.

Emilie stood and rummage beneath
the cabinet.  “I stocked it all up here since most of it belongs in the
bathroom.  I should have mentioned
there’s condoms
,
KY, pads, tampons.  I even grabbed yeast infection cream.”

The mention of all the personal
products had me beyond just embarrassed.  “I just want to hide, Em.”

“Too bad,” she said as she stood
with a small rectangular box in hand.  “There’s nowhere to go.” 

She walked to the claw foot tub
and turned the faucet off.  She handed me the box.  I just stared at
it.  “Zoe, I’m going to give you some privacy. 
Pee
on the stick.
 
There’s directions
inside.  Set it on the counter and take your bath.  If you want I can
come in later and sit with you, help you read it?”

“Kay.”

She left me alone in the small
room.  I opened the box and took out the directions.  I opened them,
flattened them, and stared at them.  After about five minutes I picked up
the stick that was inside the box, wrapped in a separate foil package.  I
opened it, and spent another couple of minutes staring at it.  I tried not
to cry.  I took my pants off, sat on the toilet, and held the end of the
stick under myself.  It took several seconds to force myself to relax
enough to pee, but finally did and felt the stream hitting the end of the test.
When I was done I put a piece of toilet paper on the counter and set the stick
face up on top. I wiped myself, pulled my shirt over my head and flushed the
toilet.  I climbed into the warm bath.  A couple more minutes passed.

“Hey, kid,” Boggs said as he
opened the door.  “Can I come in?”

“Hey. I thought Em was coming
back?  And yes you can come in.”

“Gus and Emilie told me what’s
going on. They both thought I should be the one who reads the pregnancy test
with you.  I’d like to be the one here with you, Zo, if that’s ok?”

I drew my knees to my chest and
laid my head down on them.

“Of course it’s ok.  I just
don’t know what to do, Boggs.”  I started crying again.

“Shhhh. Zoe.
We’ll get thought this. Either way, we’ll get through
this.”

I barely nodded my head.

Boggs sat on the floor next to the
bathtub. He ran a hand over my head. “Whatever happens, Zoe, I’m here and I’m
not going anywhere.  Emilie said if there’s just one line it’s
negative.  Two it’s positive. You ready for me to look?”

“No.”

“Zoe, we have to.”

He reached over to grab the test
lying on the counter and settled back in beside me with it in hand.  He
looked it over and studied it for several long moments.

I could sense him looking at me,
but didn’t have the courage to look back. I heard him sigh. “Zoe.”

I ignored him.

“Zoe.  At least look at
me.  Please.”

I slid down in the bath, letting
my head slide beneath the water. I held my breath as long as I could.  It
was quiet, and peaceful.  My lungs started to burn in need of air, so I
sat back up and covered my eyes with my hands.

“Zo.”
Boggs arms were around me, and I clung to him.

“I can’t, Boggs.  I can’t do
it. 
Not now, not in this horrible world.”

“Shhhh.
  It’s going to be ok.  We’ll get through this,
together.” 

Boggs rocked me until my sobbing
slowed.  He helped me up and wrapped me in a towel.  “Let’s get some
sleep, Zo.”

He walked me across the hall to
our room.  I slipped under the covers, nude, and let him tuck me in.

“You’ll stay with me?” I sounded
near panic.

“Absolutely.”

Boggs crawled in behind me, and
wrapped a strong arm around me. He let his hand rest low on my abdomen like he
might be able to somehow feel the baby that was growing within me.

“Will you tell them?” I asked him
in a hushed whisper.

“I’m sure they’ll go in and look
at the test, Zoe.  Just sleep.  Tomorrow will be a new day, and we’ll
face it together.”

M. Lauryl Lewis was born and raised in the Pacific
Northwest.  She lives in the Cascade

Foothills with her husband and their three sons.
 The family is completed by a pack of

dogs
, a flock of
chickens, and two cats.  She is a labor & delivery nurse who loves

camping
, reading,
and writing!

M. Lauryl is a fan of horror, the paranormal, and sci-fi.

Zombies hold a special place in her heart.

Blog:
www.mlauryllewis.com

Facebook
:
www.facebook.com/MLaurylLewis

Twitter:
@
MLaurylLewis

#
GraceLost

#
MLaurylLewis

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TaintedGrace

TAINTED GRACE

Copyright 2012 M. Lauryl Lewis

Nights seemed long and sleeping
late was always tempting.  I’m not sure what caused me to climb out of bed
so early in the morning.  By the time my feet hit the cold floor in our
bedroom, I knew something was wrong.  The air seemed heavy.  It was
perhaps only a split second before I began choking on the smoke that was
collecting at the peak of our sloped ceiling.  We were in the habit of
leaving the doors to our rooms open at night in case we needed the others in a
hurry.  It seemed safest, and had become comfortable.

“Boggs!”
I shouted. 
“Boggs!”

The urgency in my voice
immediately woke the man with whom I shared a bed.  He sat bolt upright.

“Emilie! Gus!
 
Fire
!”
  I
screamed.  “Susan! 
Oh my God!”
I
shouted.  I flew out of bed, nearly tripping on the blankets.

“Zoe!” shouted Boggs as he tumbled
out of the bed.  “Stay with me!”

“Emilie!” I heard Gus yell from
across the hall.

The next moments were filled with
chaos and confusion as we all began to gather in the smoke-filled
hallway.  The smell of soot was becoming sickening.  I could feel
heat coming from the floor below our feet.

           
“It’s downstairs,” said Boggs between coughs.

           
Susan was grabbing onto Boggs, who clung to me.

           
“We have to get out,
now
,” said Gus in his usual tone of
authority.  “It’s no good trying to go down the stairs. 
Into Susan’s room,
quick
!”

           
Voices became mixed in a panic as we all fumbled through the heavy smoke toward
Susan’s room.  It became so incredibly difficult to breathe. 

“On the ground!” said Boggs. 
“The air will be clearer on the ground!”

I felt my best friend and lover
pull on my arm until I was on my knees.  “Zoe, go with Susan and
Emilie.  I’ll be right behind you,” he said to me.

I heard glass breaking from
downstairs.  It sounded as if the fire was alive and ravenous.  The
smell of burning fabric and plastic stung my nose and my lungs felt as if they
too were on fire.

“Boggs, we need to get the guns,”
choked out Gus.

One of the girls pulled me forward. 
I wasn’t sure which one.  Our crawl to Susan’s room was a flurry of
confusion in the dark.  I reached back several times hoping to feel Boggs
or Gus, but didn’t.  The sound of metal bending under the pressure of the
heat downstairs deafened us for a moment. 

“We have to get out,” cried
Susan.  “We have to get out!”

“The window,” said Emilie, barely
able to speak.

I had no idea where the window
was.  I wasn’t even confident that we were in Susan’s room.  My orientation
was thoroughly mixed up from the smoky haze.  I began to panic as my
thoughts shifted from Boggs being missing from my side to the baby growing
inside of me.  My instinct to escape went into overdrive and I somehow
crawled to a wall, hoping it would be the one that housed the window.  I
started to stand to feel for the glass with my hands when I heard someone shout
“Where’s Zoe?”  My arm was grabbed and I was pulled sideways.  More
than anything, I needed to breathe. The next moments were a blur.  I was
hoisted to the window and arms were there to pull me through.  The cold
air that hit my face was refreshing.  I fought to catch my breath, but
smoke continued to twist its way deep into my lungs.  I could see orange
flames lapping at the far end of the roof, almost like the Devil’s fingers
caressing a prized pet.  The heat was searing against my face.  The
fire growled with anger as if taunting us.

“Get them down, Boggs!” shouted
Gus loudly. 
“Hurry!”

I watched as Gus swung Emile down
from the rooftop where we huddled.  I assumed Boggs was below to ease her
way.   I knew this corner of the cabin was closest to the ground, and
was glad that Gus had the good sense to direct us here.

“Zoe!” yelled Gus.  “Come on
Zoe, you’re next!”  He grabbed me around the waist and swung me
over.  I fell into Boggs’ waiting arms and without warning was on my feet
and being pulled away from the burning cabin.

“Gus!” I yelled back.  “Gus!”

“I’m here,” he yelled between
hacking fits.  “Just keep running!”

And run I did. 
As fast as my stinging lungs and bare feet would allow.
 
Boggs kept hold of my hand and before long we joined Susan and Emilie. 
Both girls were collapsed on the ground.  Susan was crying, creating
streaks of tears and soot.  Gus was right behind us and pulled Em to her
feet.

“We need to get farther
away! 
Fast!”
Gus shouted.  “Go!”

Boggs reached a hand out for
Susan, who took it and stood.  The step van was too close to the inferno
for us to even attempt to get to it.  The flames were consuming the
exterior walls of our cabin and I could see the windshield had shattered from
the heat.  Its tires were melted.

We ran to the tree line, but could
still feel the heat from the fire chasing us.  Without warning the cabin
exploded behind us.  While it didn’t knock us over, I could feel my legs
give out, causing me to stumble.  Boggs held me upright.  We all
turned and watched as the small cabin that had become our home continued to go
up in flames.  Breathing became easier as clean air flushed our lungs. 
The smell of charred wood and soot clung to us.  My eyes burned.  My
nose burned.  My lungs burned.  My heart was broken.

“What now?” I whispered. 

No one seemed anxious to answer.

“I need to think,” said Gus. 
He had his hands laced together at the back of his head.  “Zoe, are we
alone?”  I knew he wanted to know if I sensed any of the living dead
nearby.

“Ya,” I said. 
“All clear.”
  I began coughing again.

“Gus, we need to move,” said
Boggs. 

“What about the Explorer?” asked
Emilie.
 

“None of us have shoes on, darlin’. 
It’d be a long, cold walk,” answered Gus.

“The raft?”
I asked.

“No good,” said Boggs.  “It’s
been losing air, Zo.  With five of us it’d likely sink.”

I sighed heavily.  I was
feeling hopeless.  “We can’t stay here,” I said, tears starting to fall.