Gravity (Free Falling) (46 page)

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the knock at the door twenty minutes later. 
AJ didn’t turn around from where he stood.

             
“Come in,” I called out.

Antonio
walked in carrying flowers and a huge bear.  He glanced over at AJ momentarily before setting the gifts down on the table.  When he looked at my face he tried not to let his eyes wander over the cuts, but it was nearly impossible for him.  “I know it looks bad.”  I felt embarrassment wash through me again.

             
“No, it’s not that bad.  You
still
look good to me.”  I saw AJ clench his fists, but he didn’t turn around to face us.  Antonio’s comment made me uncomfortable too, so I tried to change the subject.

             
“Thanks for the flowers and the bear.  That was nice of you.” 

             
“I just didn’t feel right coming empty handed.”  He looked around the room quickly.  “It looks like I’m the only one who thought of that.”  He said it loudly, obviously trying to cut into AJ who laughed quietly from his post over by the window.

I shot Antonio a warning glare. 

“So, how are you feeling?”  He asked. 

             
“It’s been a hard morning, but I’m starting to feel better.”

             
“What happened exactly?  You asked me all those questions about that chick and then you hung up on me.  The next thing I know, Terrence called this morning saying that you’d been in a bad accident.”

             
“It’s a long story, but basically that same girl we were talking about is the one who hit my car,” I replied.

He looked at me questioningly.  “So, why’s she been following you like that?”  I lowered my head, not wanting to talk about it any further. 

              “It doesn’t matter.” 

             
“Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.  Do you need anything?”  He asked.

             
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, I was cut off.  “If she needs anything,
I’ll
take care of it,” AJ said sternly.

Antonio
shook AJ’s warning off and ignored him.  “How long do you have to stay in here?”  He asked calmly.

             
“The doctor said that it would be at least a week.”

             
“
Dang
!  So you can’t go to graduation?  That’s messed up.” 

             
“Don’t remind me.”

He thought for a minute.  “Well, I’ll come by and visit until they let you leave.  You know, to keep you company.”  That was the last straw for
AJ

             
“Are you stupid or something?  She’s not your girl anymore!  You’re starting to make me think that you need a reminder.”  AJ paced toward Antonio swiftly until the only thing separating them was the narrow table.  Both of them were heaving angrily.

             
“You nervous that she might change her mind or something?”  Antonio said as he laughed to himself.  “I think that’s cause you know on some level she’ll always love
me
.”

AJ
’s face turned red as rage overtook him, probably as he thought of the secret I’d just revealed to him about Antonio and I.  He grabbed the edge of the table and flipped it over sending the vase full of flowers crashing to the floor.  He moved in closer to Antonio, only inches from his face. 

I was grateful when the nurse came running in to see what cause
d the deafening noise.  She assessed the mess and the tension between AJ and Antonio.  “One or both of you has to go. 
Now,
or
I’m
calling
the
police!”  She said sharply.  The standoff between Antonio and AJ was intense and I honestly feared that if something jumped off, the small nurse would be defenseless. 

After a few seconds,
Antonio let down his guard and trudged angrily out of the room, nearly knocking the nurse over on his way. The unspoken truce that existed between him and AJ for my sake was now broken.  I was almost glad that AJ set Antonio straight.  Maybe now, he’d get the picture and back off.  Being friends wasn’t enough for him and he was having a hard time not crossing the line. 

AJ
came to his senses and bent down to help the nurse pick up the large pieces of glass off the floor.  She rolled her eyes at him and continued to clean up the mess.  “I’ll call in housekeeping to get the rest,” she said flatly as she turned to leave the room.

Why couldn’t he have just listened to me and let me tell Antonio to stay home? 

*****

Saturday was even harder than Friday.  I was doped up most of the day because the doctors had to increase my morphine dosage to help me fight the pain. 
When I awoke, it was nearly four in the afternoon.  My parents were sitting together watching TV and AJ sat next to me, watching as I slept.

He looked drained, emotionally
and physically.  These last few days had been crazy and it was showing on his face.  “You should go home and get some rest.  I’ll be ok.”

He stared at me for a few seconds more.  “I’m fine.  I went back to shower and change this morning b
efore you got up.” 

             
“I know, but you can’t be comfortable in that chair.  I think you should go and sleep in your bed and recharge before graduation tomorrow.  I’ll be fine, seriously.”

My father overheard us talking and chimed in.  “
We’ll be here with her, and I’ll call you if anything changes.  She’s right.  You’ve been here almost all day every day.  Get some rest, Son,” Daddy said reassuringly. 
Son
?  Things between them had changed drastically since their first encounter in November.  Daddy had developed a new found respect for AJ and they were more than cordial toward one another – they were almost friendly. 

AJ
smiled weakly and nodded.   “Ok, but I’ll be back later tonight.” 

“No, just come b
ack tomorrow after the ceremony,” I insisted while forcing a weak smile. 

AJ
was hesitant and then finally caved in.  He almost forgot that my parents were in the room as he leaned in to kiss me.  We both burst out laughing just before our lips met and he patted me on the head jokingly as he turned to leave.  I pushed his hand away playfully and longed to follow him as he disappeared through the doorway.

             
By 9:00 pm I missed him like he’d been gone for a week, but I was glad that he listened to me and went home to sleep.  He had a big day ahead of him tomorrow.  I lay there and watched the large clock on the wall.
Ten…..Eleven
…..sometime before midnight I drifted off to sleep thinking of him.

The next morning I was trying not to think about the fact that I was
going to miss walking across the stage, but I didn’t have much success.  The only bright spot in my day was that the doctor finally let me wash up.  I only had one usable arm on account of the broken ribs, but I made it work.  I brushed my teeth three times before I was satisfied.  Mom laughed as she assisted me with my routine, and I noted that she was careful not to let me see my reflection in the mirror.   

I shuffled back to the bed and lay back down.  The ceremony was scheduled to start
by 2 pm and it was a quarter to.  The realization made my heart sink as I thought about it.  I asked mom to pass me my phone and I called AJ.

             
“Hello?”  He answered.  There was loud talking and laughing in the background, so I knew that he was already at the stadium where the graduation was to be held.  I choked back my tears before I spoke.

             
“I just wanted to congratulate you and tell you that I miss you.”

He was silent for a second. 
“I miss you too and if you asked me too I’d leave right now to be with you.  Just say the word.”

I laughed.  “
AJ, I’m not about to make you miss one of the biggest moments of your life.  Have fun and I’ll see you later.”

             
“I’ll try.  See you in a little while.”

After we hung up,
my phone rang almost instantly.             

             
“Hey, Angel!”  I answered.

             
“So, you all seriously waited three days after you almost lose your life in an accident to call and tell somebody?  Are you alright?  Your mom
JUST
called my mom like a few minutes ago to tell her what happened.”

             
“Yeah, she’s been really busy here with me.  But I’m fine, nothing too serious.”

She sighed in irritation.  “I’ve never heard of anyone being hospitalized for anything that wasn’t serious.  Tell me the truth.”

              “Concussion; couple broken bones.  I can walk and everything, so like I said, nothing serious.”

             
“What the heck happened?”  She asked.

             
“It was that crazy girl I told you about.   Come to find out, she was the one who sent the picture to AJ, not Antonio.  So, that day after we got off the phone I drove to Deanna’s to talk to her and Leila was following me.  She hit me on purpose.”

             
“I’m comin’ to cut her,” Angel replied.

             
“No, Angel.  She wasn’t as lucky as I was.”

             
“Explain, cause I’ll still cut her if she’s paralyzed or something like that.  I don’t discriminate.”

             
“She died,” I said flatly.

There was silence on the other end.  “
Wow,” she finally replied.  “Didn’t see
that
coming.”

             
“I know, neither did I when I first heard.  I mean, even though she did what she did to me, I’d never wish anyone dead.”

             
“Wow,” she stated again.

I thought for a moment and decided to tell Angel about the rest of the story.  There wasn’t anyone else that I could express my real feelings to.  I had to even protect
AJ from the thoughts that had been running through my head.  “Angel, I need to talk to you about something serious.”

             
“More serious than car accidents and death?  This can’t be good.  I’m listening.”

             
“When the doctor came in to talk to me about my injuries…”  I had to get myself together to even speak the words.  “He said that I was pregnant…..and lost it during the accident.”  She was absolutely silent.  I waited a minute or two before I spoke.  “You still there?”  I asked quietly.

             
“Yeah, I’m here,” she said softly.  “I’m so sorry.  I don’t even know what to say.”

             
“It’s fine if you don’t say anything.  I really just needed to admit it out loud.  It’s eating away at me and I don’t know how to deal with it.  I’m so angry at her!  And I feel terrible for feeling that way because she’s gone.”  I was trying to speak through my tears.  “I can’t even begin to explain how I feel.”

             
“Sammy, there’s nothing that you can do to change what’s happened, and if you don’t let yourself grieve and move forward, you’ll never get through it.  It’s ok to be angry with her.  You’re allowed to feel that way.”

             
“Angel, I’m scared that if I let myself really admit all my feelings, I’ll fall apart and lose it.”

             
“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.  You have AJ for support and you know I have your back.”  She paused.  “Need me to come out there?” 

             
“No, I know you’re classes are still going on.  I’m fine.”

             
“Sammy, if you need me, I’ll be there.  I’m serious.  Just call me.”

             
“Thanks, Angel.  I know

When we hung u
p the phone I had nothing to do but watch the clock and try to envision what was happening at the ceremony.  By five I assumed that it was over and that I was officially a high school graduate.  I wiped away the tear that rolled down my cheek and rested my head on my pillow.  My parents left for a few minutes to grab something to eat in the cafeteria and I was glad to have some time to myself.  When the nurse came in earlier I asked her to pass my purse to me.  I made sure to keep it where I could get to it myself when everyone left out.  My parents and AJ discouraged me from looking at my face, and that only made me more curious to see what it looked like.  I was reduced to sneaking, so I retrieved my compact and braced myself. 

I held my breath and quickly lifted the mirror so that I could see.  When I did,
I gasped and almost dropped the tiny mirror to the bed.  It was even worse than I imagined.  I tried to count the tiny marks, but it was next to impossible to keep track of which ones I’d already pointed out.  They didn’t seem to be very deep, but that didn’t do anything to make me feel any better for the time being.  I quickly concealed the mirror before anyone came into the room.  They were right to keep me from seeing myself, but I was hardheaded and did what I wanted. 
Stupid
.