Guard My Heart (16 page)

MIA

They say love changes your life.

It wraps you up in its sweet embrace and the world can no
longer hurt you.

I’m twenty-four years old, and I’ve never lived a day in
my life until I met Jase.

He takes my hurt, he takes my hate, and he turns it into
this beautiful bubble where only happiness exists.

We aren’t perfect, but we make it work.

Yeah this living life thing is pretty potent.

And it’s all because of him.

***

The wild jingle of the bell at the front door snaps me out
of my head. I lose my breath the instant my eyes meet the green ones twinkling
back at me. His smile stretches wide, and his black boots eat up the floor to
get to me. Jeez, I've missed him. Jase grabs me and squeezes me tight.

“Hey Mew-Mew, I've missed you, baby,” he breathes,
nuzzling my neck.

“I've missed you too,” I manage between my sniffles. Two
months without Jase in my life and I've gone near insane. But now he is finally
back home. My client clears his throat, but I don’t let Jase go. I smile at the
young guy lying on my table.

“I’ll be with you in a second,” I say, almost rudely.

Alec and Livvy come back from the kitchen holding the four
cups of coffee they left to make before Jase arrived.

“Jase! Welcome back you sexy beast!” Livvy screeches,
spilling coffee all over the white tile floor.

“Thanks, Liv, and thanks for looking after Mew-Mew since
I’ve been gone. I was sure I’d get back to skin and bones, but she looks well
fed,” Jase says with a sexy smirk while his eyes roam over my body. I punch him
playfully on his shoulder then place my hands on my hips.

“Are you saying I’m fat?” I try to glare at him, but I’m
just too damn happy to have him back. Two months I was stuck without him,
constantly running our first week through my head and thinking of how we met.

“I would never call you fat, Mew;
you
are perfect,”
he says, placing a soft kiss on my head. I step away from him and sit down to
finish my client while he walks over to Alec and Liv. If I had known he was
coming home today, I definitely would not have booked six clients for tonight.
I won’t be done before midnight. That thought makes me anxious, and I bite down
hard on my teeth to get my client done.

“How old are you?” my client asks me. I blink and stare
back at him for a second. Weird question to ask someone you don’t know. “I’m
twenty-four. Why?” I answer and question at the same time.

“You look younger than you did just a few minutes ago. The
whole time I’ve been lying here I thought you must be close to thirty with that
frown on your face. But as soon as that guy came in, your face changed. Then I
thought you might be eighteen.” He chuckles but then squeezes his eyes closed
tightly. The shaking of his body interferes with the piercing needle of the
gun. I smile back at him. My reply to that is easy.

“He is my life; without him, I might as well be an old
lady,” I say.

The guy is silent after that. I’ve got four clients left
after him, so Jase and I split them. The other two guys are old clients of
Jase’s, so they are more than happy to go with him.

Lewis and James arrive as I finish up with my last client,
and for a moment I panic. It can easily turn into a late night. Lewis plants a
kiss on my cheek as he passes my station and sits down on Jase’s
table.

“So you came to take back my girl?” Lewis taunts
Jase.

Six years later and nothing has changed. Jase looks at me
then smiles at Lewis.

“My girl, always and forever,” he says.

Lewis laughs then claps Jase on the shoulder.

“Good to have you back, man. Everything good with your
grandma?” Lewis asks.

Jase pinches the bridge of his nose and nods. “Yeah, she’s
finally settled. And the old bird is as stubborn as a birch. For two months I
tried to convince her to move here with us, but she wouldn’t budge. Now she’s
in an old age home. It killed her leaving that house, but she wouldn’t admit
it. Old lady is staying strong ’til the end,” he says, his words thick with
concern.

I walk over to Jase and sit down in his lap. It breaks my
heart that I couldn’t go down for his grandfather’s funeral, but Alec just
wouldn’t manage with the both of us gone. I only met his grandparents once.
Sweet old people. Good people. I bury my nose in his neck and inhale loudly. He
smells delicious. He chuckles and rubs his palm over my back.

“Home time,” Jase says while lifting me and placing me on
my feet.

I hurry to clear my station, while Jase grabs my jacket
and bag.

We say goodbye to everybody and walk hand in hand to the
shiny black truck parked in front of the shop. The boys have come a long way
since college. The garage they work for is known for the best and fastest
service in town. Uncle Ray couldn’t ask for more dedicated workers. His son and
his nephews pride themselves in their work and deliver only the best. The extra
work Jase does at the parlor has brought more feet in for Alec, and now that I
can do tattoos myself, the parlor has been busier than ever. But I’m glad Jase
is back, because the last two months have been hell. Even doing what I love
most, tattoos, second to Jase of course, could not keep my heart from breaking
every time I thought of him and the distance between us.

Jase starts the truck and turns his head toward me. “Let’s
go home, Mew,” he says, placing his hand on my thigh and giving it a
squeeze.

I smile even though it feels watery and my lips quiver on
my face. “Yeah, take me home.”

JASE

I watch Mia sleeping with the moonlight shining in her
hair. I might sound like a sap, but with this woman by my side, I don’t care.
If I get her for everyday of the rest of my life, I could fucking sprout
daisies from my ass. And I still wouldn’t give a shit! I think back to the
night I told her to stay away from me. Thank fuck she didn’t listen. We were
sitting on her front porch on her birthday, and I spilled my guts to her. My
whole bloody, messy story. About how my parents didn’t want me. How my dad beat
my mom to shit. And afterwards she just sat there and stared at me with tears
rolling down her face. After that, I couldn’t look at her straight. I was
scared of what I would see. Hate? Disgust? But she knocked the wind straight
out of me in exams. I don’t even remember what the damn test was, but I
remember the look in her eyes when she wished me luck. It wasn’t shame, it
wasn’t pity, and it wasn’t hate. It was hope. Hope for me. Hope for
us.

On our first date, I took Mia to a lake. I thought we
could go swimming. She agreed but told me she doesn’t swim anywhere where she
can’t see the bottom. She was terrified of the water. I asked her if she trusted
me, and she answered straight away. Yes. There wasn’t time for us to play games
with our hearts. It was either give it all or nothing. Both Mia and I knew how
life can fuck you over in a heartbeat. She lost her dad to a heart attack, and
soon after that her brother died in an accident. The second I saw Mia standing
around that corner with those broken-ass jeans, I knew I was fucked. Gone—my
heart leapt straight out of my beaten rib cage and into hers.

Anyway, I’m losing my story here. So we’re on a date and I
want to go for a swim, but my lovely lady is scared of the water. I blindfolded
her with an old tie I found in the truck and told her to wrap her legs around
me. I walked us straight into that lake. Her thighs clamped down around me like
a vice grip, but I kept walking until we were waist deep. Mia was breathing
deeply into my neck. I had to beat down my dick repeatedly. Reminding myself
that that wasn’t what I was there for. When I tried to remove the blindfold,
she nuzzled deeper into my neck and started talking.

“Kyle was my twin, my older brother by a few seconds. My
best friend and my partner in crime. I’ve always been kind of a tomboy. I would
ride bikes with the guys, play sports the other girls were afraid of. Kyle was
so awesome. But I don’t think he would’ve liked you.” I scoffed at that. Sure
that I would’ve won the protective brother over. I gave her a little nudge to
continue with her story.

“Our last year of high school, the teachers decided to
have a summer vacation tour for the grade twelves. Kyle knew I wanted to go, but
money was tight, and Mom couldn’t afford it with her cashier job, and we would
never ask our stepdad to give it to us. So Kyle comes up with a plan. My dad
had all these old motorcycles in the garage back home. Even though Mom told us
a long time ago to get rid of them, Kyle kept them, saying one day he would fix
them up. I guess he gave up on his idea of fixing them, because we both needed
a break from the house. He sold all those parts and got enough money to pay for
our trip. He even bought me a bikini and left some money for Mom.

It started off as the best vacation ever. Friends, sun,
and no bullshit from
him
. The guys were climbing the rocks and jumping
off. I wanted to try, but I was too much of a chicken to try it alone, so Kyle
held my hand and we jumped off the lower rocks. The guys kept climbing higher
and higher. I suppose Kyle wanted to try it too. I can still remember his face
smiling down at me before he took that jump. I knew it was too high. But Kyle
always came out on top. He succeeded in everything he did. I told him to jump.
He jumped because I cheered for him. After he hit the water, we all waited in
the water for him to come up. When nothing happened, everybody started
screaming his name. I froze, I couldn’t move. I knew he was gone. I could feel
it. The police say the pool let out through several underground caves. The
current could have taken his body down any one of those caves. The search was
called off. Cause of death—drowning. They never found his body. Only his shoe, a
damn sneaker, was all they brought back”

Mia’s body trembled in my arms. I held her tighter,
wishing I could take away all her pain. We were messed up that way. Both
bloodied by a world full of wrong.

Now I stroke the hair out of her eyes and kiss her cheek.
She stirs and wraps her legs around mine. I wonder if she knows she just
sighed.

MIA

“Hello?” I say sleepily into my phone.

Mom’s voice sounds loud over the phone, and I pull the
phone away from my ear. I laugh at her excitement. “Yes, Mom, Jase came home
yesterday.”

I nod my head before my sleeping brain realizes she can’t
see me.

“Yes, we’ll come down to visit you. How’s Aunt Kim?” I say
in between yawns.

“Uh-huh,” I snort as I stretch. Mom has been staying with
her sister since I moved in with Jase. She’s sounds happier than
ever.

“Okay Mom, see you soon.”

I must’ve dozed off sometime on the way home last night
because my ringing phone woke me up to a sunny Saturday morning and an empty
bed. I stretch and grab Jase’s pillow. I bury my nose in the fluffy down and
inhale deeply. Thank goodness last night was not a dream. I can smell Jase,
it’s fresh and new. He slept next to me last night. I could kick myself for not
spending the night holding him. I slip my feet into my slippers and pull on my
pajama bottoms. Apparently my man undressed me last night. That thought makes
me giddy to find him and tangle my fingers in that black mass of hair of his. I
walk down the stairs, and the sound of my friends laughing reach my ears. I
find them all sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee. Jase opens his
arms for me, and I slide onto his lap.

“Good morning, Mew,” he says with a soft kiss to the top
of my head. I hum and snuggle my face into the crook of his neck.

“Don’t mind the company, Mia; we don’t mind having our own
personal porn show right here in the kitchen,” Lewis says being a real twat.

I lift my middle finger up lazily and swing it in his
direction. He laughs and pushes a cup of coffee in my direction. I don’t take
my head out of Jase’s neck as I mumble a thank you. My breath makes little
goosebumps jump up over his arms.

“Welcome home party for Jase tonight,” Lewis declares in
his loud boom box voice, and that makes me lift my head and look at him.

“Really, Lewis?” I ask rudely. I’m not happy. I haven’t
seen Jase in two months. I want my alone time.

“Really,” he answers on a huge smile. I look at the others
sitting at the table hoping for anyone to protest, but they all just smile at
me. True, we haven’t had any kind of celebration in the house since Jase left.
Everyone seemed to share my mood of melancholy. Aiden smiles and nudges Jenna
to get up, and they leave for their room.

“Come on, Mew, you need to shower,” Jase says while
smacking my bum.

James laughs and walks off to the direction of his room.
Yes, I share a house with all my friends. Aiden, Jenna, James, Lewis, me, and
Jase. It’s a weird mix, but we do it well. I finish my coffee and place my cup
in the sink. I glance up at the clock and do a double take. It’s almost noon.
Not only did I sleep the whole night away but half the day as well. I look back
at Jase and Lewis, yes they are dressed. I can’t even have a shower with Jase.

I stomp up the stairs and don’t even spare them a second
glance. I don’t know why I’m upset with Jase; it’s not his fault I slept late.
But it is his fault that he didn’t wake me up. If I had to work today, I’d be
very late. But I’m off and so is Jase and everybody else it seems.

***

There’s a guy staring at us from across the street. He is
just standing there, tapping his DVD case in his hand. Damn weirdo. He is
looking at me like I'm his next fix. All junkie-like with his eyes glazed over.
I try to catch his eye to flip him off, but his eyes never meet mine before he
spins around and heads the other way.

A tingle runs down my spine as Jase’s teeth graze my skin.
My knees go weak. My eyes flutter close. I'm sure I drool a little. All
thoughts of a staring stranger forgotten. Jase crushes my semi-limp body harder
to his. I brush my fingers through the black strands covering his eye, bracing
myself as the green depths sear my soul. I love this man so much it physically
hurts my heart. Every time I look into those eyes, the love I see in their
depths makes it feel like a hand is reaching into my chest and squeezing the
beating organ to a standstill.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Jase whispers close to my
ear.

I shake my head. “I just can’t believe how lucky I am to
have you.”

“Ah Mew, you say the cutest things,” he replies on a sexy
smirk. Gracing my lips with a soft kiss and totally redeeming himself for his
shitty reply.

“Hey, are you two ready to go?” Aiden’s voice pulls me
from heaven.

I watch him chuck a piece of paper into the trash can on
the sidewalk.

“Oh no, not again?” I ask on a giggle.

“Yeah, again,” Aiden says, running his hand through his
copper locks exasperated. “Jase, you need to sort those girls out.”

I follow Jase to the back of Aiden’s pick up.

“Why do you think I don’t go into that liquor store
anymore? It’s not that I’ve given up on alcohol. I'm just not in the mood to
explain to them that I'm not interested in their telephone numbers. They won’t
listen, and I’m not explaining panties in my work locker to Mia
again.”

I see the amusement twinkling in his eye as he talks. It’s
funny now, but a few months ago the green-eyed monster was my worst enemy.
Finding a pair of unknown panties with phone numbers on it will do that to you.

“Come on, Mew.” Jase laughs, shaking his head and pulling
me forward to the pickup.

Aiden climbs into the front and slides the bag between him
and Jenna. Jase pulls me up and into the back of the pickup. Jenna smiles back
at me. Shit, I know that smile. Tequila. My stomach tumbles over itself.
Tequila gives the worst hangovers.

Jase draws lazy circles on my thigh, making my skin tingle
and stirring a need elsewhere. Weighing up my options of tequila and a hangover
verses Jase and bed. I choose the latter. A small smile plays on his lips, and
I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing.

I watch James and Lewis stroll lazily towards us. Aiden
inches the truck forward, no doubt watching them in his rearview mirror, making
them increase their pace. They manage to jump in just before he pulls away
again. James stumbles, knocking his head against one of Jase’s boots. Both Jase
and Lewis laugh at him.

“Watch it, asshole,” James actually growls at Aiden. It’s
so unlike him that all three of us burst out laughing again. James hardly ever
raises his voice.

I watch the guys sitting in front of me. From the moment
they climbed out of that truck back in college, I knew my life would never be
the same. The first time I laid eyes on Jase I knew he meant trouble for my
heart. The damn thing never beat the same after that. The three of them turned
heads wherever they went. They still do and cause the same amount of trouble
they did back then. I guess boys never really grow up. James, the skinny,
blond, blue-eyed teenager, making the girls drool with his shy, swoon-worthy
smile. Lewis, the ultimate bad boy, dirty blond hair, smoldering blue eyes, and
covered in tattoos. Always getting into fights for flirting with the wrong,
not-so-innocent girl. It didn’t take long for him to rub off on James. Where
Lewis works the bad boy charm to his advantage, James downright dazzles
everything in a skirt. The familiar bump in our driveway brings me back to the
present. Jase jumps over the side of the truck. My attention catches on the
rippling muscles of his tattooed-covered forearm. I don’t see the hand he holds
out to me until he clears his throat, pulling me from my trance. Before I can
take his hand, James lifts me up and gently hands me over to Lewis. I swear
sometimes James does things that baffle my brain. He hangs out with Lewis, yet
he can be the total opposite of his loud and obnoxious cousin.

“Hey Mew-Mew,” Lewis breathes huskily into my ear, but his
eyes are trained on Jase. A sneaky grin plays on his face, revealing two
adorable dimples. I can’t help but laugh at him. Jase glares at Lewis and
James. They like to tease him endlessly.

“Hey dickwad, get your hands off my girl!” Jase shouts
over the truck.

Lewis pauses in his movement of sliding me down just
before my feet touch the ground. He swings me over his shoulder so fast my head
spins and a squeak escapes me. I grab onto his hips for support. I'm sure I hear
him moan as my nails sink into him. Realizing I'm wearing a skirt, I scramble to
retain some of my dignity.

“Damn it, Lewis, you are giving the neighbors a show!” I
shout at him.

“Lucky neighbors,” he says just loud enough for me and
James to hear. I huff, trying to smooth my skirt into submission. I catch
movement out of the corner of my eye, and I lift my head just in time to see
Aiden grab James in a headlock. Wow, the testosterone is cracking in the air
tonight.

“Drop the broad or the boy gets it,” Aiden drawls in some
mock mafia accent.

Jenna is laughing so hard she almost drops the tequila,
and I can’t help but join her.

“Game’s up, Lewis. No tequila if you don’t behave,” she
says, taking a seat on the front step.

I agree with her, nodding my head up and down. My head is
starting to feel weird hanging upside down like this. I can’t believe Lewis
hasn’t dropped me yet. His muscles are drawn taut beneath my hands on his back.
I smack at his ass.

“Does the Neanderthal move always work for you? Whatever
happened to dinner and movies? Hell, I’d settle for flowers,” I tease while
digging my fingers into his sides. He jerks to the side and lowers me to my
feet.

“I know it works for you. Why else are you with caveman
Jase?” he says on a wink.

I snort to myself; the only caveman around here is him. If
I didn’t know Lewis was an endless but harmless tease, I would’ve kicked him in
the nuts long ago.

Lewis turns away from me and speaks to Aiden. “Trade—send
my boy over and Jase can have Mia back.”

I laugh at him and saunter over to Jase, tired of their
game. I’ve been out of his arms for way too long. Aiden releases James as I
reach Jase.

“You guys are such kids. Are we getting drunk or what? I
don’t want to stand here all night,” James snorts, hiding his chuckle. I link
my fingers through the belt loops of Jase’s jeans and pull him to
me.

“Body shots?” I tease. 

“Hell yeah, body shots on Mia!” Lewis booms. 

“Sure, right after Aiden lets you snort some rows off
Jenna,” Jase replies.

“Leave my angel out of your filth-induced minds,” Aiden
replies irritably. Aiden can be such a grandpa when it comes to Jenna. I wonder
if Kyle would’ve been the same. He was always so serious when we were growing
up. I miss my twin, and sometimes when I try to remember his voice, I can’t
seem to get it right anymore. Would Kyle be proud of how my life turned out?
I’m happier than I’ve ever been. There’s only one thing I would change…him. He
should still be alive. I drop my head to hide the sudden moisture in my eyes
and take a deep breath. The pain doesn’t get less, but it gets
easier.

I walk pass Lewis to unlock the front door; I don’t miss
the look he gives Jase. I hear him say something about him not doing that shit
anymore. I unlock the door leaving them outside.

I grab the shot glasses and light a quick smoke before
Jase catches me sneaking a drag. He will probably smell me anyway. I hear them
entering the house, and at the same time music filters from the TV room. Soon
they will all storm the kitchen for a drink. I flick my cigarette out the
window and wash my hands to get rid of the smell. I grab a beer for Jase from
the fridge, popping the cap on my way over to them. I take a quick sip,
swirling it in my mouth before handing it to him. Using beer as mouthwash is
definitely not a good idea, but the first sip of a freshly opened beer is
always the best. 

***

Tired of beating Lewis in Guitar Hero, I go in search of
my boyfriend in our crowded house. It’s not lost on me that most of the people
milling around are women. Barely dressed women. I swear Lewis knows more
strippers than is accepted normal behavior. I follow the sound of blaring music
to a car parked outside. From where I stand on the porch, I don’t recognize
half the people crowded on our lawn. Two girls stand out from the mass. It
looks like they’re putting on lipstick, and they’re using the mirror on Jase’s
truck to do it. I watch the blonde steady her friend as she wobbles on her
heels. Both of the women giggle and start to walk my way. I cross my arms over
my chest and step to the side to allow them to sway pass me. I take one last
look around and move to the kitchen. I find my whole clan at the table. Each of
them has a tequila shooter in front of them.

“Hey, there you are. I thought I’d have to sic the
bloodhounds on you,” Jase says from the table.

“I was looking for you. Should’ve known I’d find you at
the booze,” I tell him.

I lean against the counter, looking at him. Lewis and
James cheer to my remark, the alcohol already coursing through their veins. Jase
smirks back at me and downs his shot.

I watch as Jase does the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. He
licks his hand and pours some salt onto it. The way his tongue glides over his
sun-browned skin makes my own skin tingle. He grabs a shot off the table and
walks towards me with a sneaky glint in his eye. He places the shot down on the
counter near where I’m leaning. I’m suddenly very glad for the support. I don’t
take my eyes off him as he turns and walks back to the table to get the lime.
When he walks back to me, I know I’m in trouble. Who needs alcohol? My head is
already swimming in Jase. Jase licks his finger and drags it through the salt
on his hand. He brings his finger up to my mouth, and my lips part. Slowly he
spreads the salt over my bottom lip before lifting the tequila to my mouth. The
liquid touches my tongue and fuels the fire growing in my belly, but I don’t
have time to think about it before his lips meet mine. His tongue swirls and
mixes with the sweet poison in my mouth. And then he pulls away. My hungry lips
want more. Jase holds up the lime wedge to my mouth but pulls it away before I
can wrap my lips around it. He teases me with it again, but this time he lets
me sink my teeth into it.