Harvest of the Gods (28 page)

They were dressed as the King and Queen from 300, King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo...what a horrible name that. She looked fantastic in the skimpy dress though and Fallon fit the muscle requirement at least.

“
You can't be Leonidas,” Trevor glowered at Fallon, looking even more like Batman when he did it.

“
Why not?” Fallon glowered back. “Because I'm a lion?”

Then they both burst into laughter.

“I don't think there were any black Spartans,” I observed as they continued to guffaw.

“
It's Halloween,” Fallon shrugged. “I can be whatever I want and if I want to be a buff white man with a death wish, I will.”

“
Alright, alright,” I held up my hands. “Don't get your loincloth in a bunch.”

Then Persephone and Hades arrived in yet another couples costume and I wondered why I hadn't thought to coordinate with any of my men. Oh right, because one of them just died. I frowned for a moment before pushing the ache away and focusing on my friends. Odin wouldn't have wanted me to be miserable in the midst of a party.

Persephone was dressed as Princess Leia in the infamous slave outfit. Her hair was perfect for the costume, plaited in one long braid that hung over her shoulder. Hades was Han Solo, white shirt, black vest, tight black pants, and a holster slung low at his waist equipped with a laser gun. They looked awesome and I was secretly pleased that they were
Star Wars
fans. I'd had an argument with Fenrir once about
Star Wars
and he'd said some horrible things about Luke and Yoda. The word toad was used and that's all I'll say about that.

They came over and Persephone hugged me. Just as I was pulling back from her, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around to see the Grim Reaper, except on his chest was a large blue screen like a computer monitor. I frowned at the screen until Torrent's voice came from the depths of the Grim Reaper hood.

“I'm the Blue Screen of Death,” he chirped happily in a completely un-Reaper like voice, as he waved a fake scythe around for emphasis.

“
Of course you are,” I grinned. This was probably his first
Halloween too and I was glad he'd come up with a costume that appealed to him.

“
Hey,” Azrael came over to glower at Torrent. “I'm offended by that. This is a parody based off of myself.”

“
You are?” Torrent squeaked. “It is?”

“
No,” Azrael laughed. “It's actually kind of fun to see people dressed up like me. I'm just messing with you.”

“
Oh, okay,” Torrent sighed. “This is really fun, I think I like Halloween. Did you guys see Pan? He's Hugh Hefner.”

“
Of course he is,” I groaned. “Didn't someone explain to Pan that he's supposed to dress up as something different than himself?”

“
I heard that,” Pan called out and I saw that he was across the lounge from me with a bevy of beautiful women dressed in lingerie.

“
Are those his...” I searched for the words.

“
Naughty Nymphs?” Torrent supplied helpfully. “Yep, some of them, at least.”

“
Oh dear,” I sighed as I watched one slide her hand down Pan's pants. He quickly fished it out and gave me a grin and a shrug.

“
I really don't understand the point of sex, beyond conception that is,” said the faceless Blue Screen of Death. He immediately had everyone's attention.

“
What was that?” Trevor gasped.

“
Well it just seems like a lot of silly gyrating resulting in a sensation that I can just as easily provide for myself with much less mess. I do like girls though, they're pretty and smell good. I guess if it made them stick around, I could do it.”

“
Oh somebody please take this one,” I groaned. “I may be the Mother of Dragons but I'm not equipped to handle the sex talk.”

“
You see, when two people love each other very much,” Horus, dressed as a mobster, started to explain.

“
That's not going to work,” Pan waved away the nymphs, who were already raising hands to volunteer a demonstration. “You have to let someone who's actually
had
sex explain it to the boy.”

“
I'm Al Capone,” Horus ground out with an Italian accent as he slicked the lapels of his suit. “I sleep with lots of dames.”

I nearly choked, laughing at Horus playing the part with such seriousness. I honestly didn't think the guy had it in him.

“I don't think that's the correct vernacular for Capone's time period,” Pan mused. “Maybe
broads
would be better.”

“
No, it's dames or birds, not broads,” Horus tipped his fedora. “I looked it up.”

“
Maybe you should look up some sexual positions too,” Pan smirked, “cause even if you've slept with a dame, I doubt you had sex with her.”

“
Look, you dirty old man,” Horus pointed a thick cigar at Pan, still keeping in character. “I can have you fitted with some new cement shoes if you don't shut your trap.”

“
My father used to have a saying,” Vali silenced everyone and they all looked to him, expecting him to have something really profound to say about Odin. But he had a twinkle in his eye and he was dressed in a dirty wife beater, blood-stained pants, and had a crossbow slung over his shoulder. He also had his hair pulled back so it looked short, the ends of it tucked down the back of his shirt, and he had a scruffy chin. I recognized him immediately as Daryl
from
The Walking Dead
and I knew we were about to hear something Daryl would say, not Vali. “He used to say;
Son, the better part of valor is shuttin' the hell up!
”

I started laughing immediately but it took the rest of the group awhile to realize he was trying to be in character too and the line was just something he thought Daryl might say, not something Odin had ever said to him. He came over and gave me a hug while everyone finally started to get the joke and giggle.

“How you doin', Mom?” He asked, “Or should I say Mother?”

“
I'm good, how about you, Daryl?”

“
Good, good,” he angled his head toward Vidar. “Did he tell you we elected him to take over for Dad?”

“
No, he didn't,” I looked over and saw Vidar watching me anxiously. “I guess he must have been nervous.”

“
Well, Thor can't,” Vali shrugged, “he's already the Protector of Asgard and I don't want to so that kind of left Vidar. Someone had to do it or the dead Vikings would just fade away.”

“
Right,” I frowned, “no, it's good, I'm glad he's taken over. Is he happy about it?”

“
I think he's okay,” Vali shrugged. “It's hard to tell sometimes with him but beyond the hurt of losing Dad, I think he's enjoying it. It really helped the Valkyries. They've kind of been lost without Dad, just wandering around Asgard beating on things. Usually inanimate things but a couple of gods made the mistake of getting in their way and Thor had to go and corral the women before the gods got hurt. Then Vidar took over and they've settled down. I guess they just needed a leader.”

“
The magic was probably driving them crazy,” I sighed. Magic could be as bad as hormones with women. It just made you
nuts.

“
I'd really appreciate if you could come by though,” Vali frowned. “Geri and Freki, they howl a lot and the ravens are pretty sad too. We try to comfort them but you know, they're wild. You're the only one besides Dad who could ever get through to them.”

“
Oh,” I sighed, “I hadn't even thought of them, poor things. Of course I'll come. I'll be there tomorrow.”

“
Thanks, Mom,” he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and took off to go play with his friends. Agh, I mean enjoy the party. Why did I always end up sounding like a housewife when I talked to Vidar or Vali?

As
Dark Horses
started playing, I saw Thor walk in. Except it wasn't really Thor, it was Ull dressed up as the movie version of Thor, a double whammy to his Dad because not only would Thor find it annoying that someone dressed up as him, he'd find it annoying that they'd got it wrong.

Where was Thor anyway? I searched the crowd and didn't see him. I did see Finn approach Ull and start toward the stairs with him. Finn was dressed up as Sweeny Todd, the Johnny Depp version, all wild hair and bloody shirt. There was a guy dressed up as Clint Eastwood with them, cowboy Clint, but I knew by the build that it wasn't Thor.

The group of them approached me and after Ull and Finn gave me hugs, Clint told me to make his day and then gave me a wink. I knew that wink.

“
Jesus?” I peered closer and he laughed, nodding his head.

“
I never would have pegged you for a Clint Eastwood fan,” I shook my head. He just grinned and swaggered off toward Trevor.

“
Do you feel lucky?” He asked Trevor. “Well do ya, punk?”

“
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” Trevor quickly shot back.

Jesus frowned, thought about it, and finally shrugged. “Maybe. I don't know, there are whole centuries I don't fully remember.”

Then UnnúlfR came up, wearing a T-shirt that read
Ask me about my costume
. I did as requested and he pulled the T-shirt up, over his head, showcasing the red devil face printed on the other side, which fell perfectly over his own face. I laughed and eyed his companion who appeared to be The Most Interesting Man in the World, as in the guy from that Dos Equis commercial. He was in fact holding a bottle of Dos Equis.

“
I don't often flirt with my brother's woman,” Mr. Most Interesting said with a perfect Spanish accent as he took my hand and lifted it for a kiss, “But when I do, I prefer to be dressed as The Most Interesting Man in the World.”

“
Ty, is that you?” I squinted at him.

“
I don't often admit to having a name,” he winked at me behind his facade of debonair old man make-up, “but when I do, it's Ty.”

“
You're going to be talking like that all night, aren't you?” Trevor groaned from behind me.

“
I don't often get the chance to annoy my brother,” Ty said without missing a beat, “but when I do, I like to do it repeatedly.”

“
Oh fuck,” Trevor swore, “Where's Dad when you need him?”

“
I'm right here,” Fenrir stepped up to our group with Emma on his arm and we all gasped and then laughed. Not because he arrived perfectly on cue to give Ty a much deserved walloping but because he was in his wolfman form and Emma was dressed as
Little Red Riding Hood.

That alone was cute and very funny, her being a zoologist who specializes in wolves and all but the real humor was in the fact that Fenrir was wearing a loincloth made of fun fur to blend in with his own fur and make him look more respectable. It was a hilarious way around the only issue that would have prevented most people from believing that he was wearing a costume: his junk hanging out. So he was a werewolf in wolf's clothing, a remark which we laughed over as well.

Then Blue arrived in a cheesy Dracula costume; black satin cape with a red lining, black tuxedo, and white face paint. He bleh bleh blehed his way around the lounge, flapping his cape like bat wings.

“
I vant to suck your blood,” he finally made his way over to me.

“
I believe you've already done that,” I smirked at him and he choked.

“
Little witch,” he admonished, “you're supposed to play along, it's Halloween.”

“
Oh, so sorry,” I frowned. “What would Daenerys say? Hmmm...
Where are my dragons?
I don't know, what is the appropriate response to that?
Kill him first?
I'm sorry, I didn't have enough time to prep.”

“
Well I shall expect you to do better next year,” he sighed. “bleh, bleh, bleh.”

“
Dracula doesn't say
bleh, bleh, bleh
,” I smirked at him.

“
Of course he does,” Blue lifted a beautiful Aztec brow at me. “Haven't you seen
Hotel Transylvania
?”

“
I believe that's precisely where the line about him not
saying bleh, bleh, bleh comes from.”

“
Yes but then he later in fact says it,” Blue huffed. “I'm going to get a Blood Mary.”

“
Try the Blood of the Vampire drink, it's a special tonight,” I recommended. “I hear it's delicious.”

“
I don't want to suck
my
blood,” Blue sighed. “I vant to suck
your
blood.”

“
Yes, yes,” I nodded regally, “and I want to sit on the Throne of Swords but we can't all get what we want, right?”