He Loves Me Not: Lily’s Story, Book 1 (12 page)

O
n Christmas morning
I woke earlier than normal, more keyed up than I'd been in a long time. Besides meeting the rest of Trevor’s family, today was the day I would give Trevor my answer. I quickly showered and dressed, then went into the kitchen to see if I could help Marcy with anything.

“I've got it all under control,” she said. “For now at least. But later I probably will need some help.”

Trevor came out a short time later, already showered and ready for the day. He wrapped his arms around me. “Merry Christmas,” he said in my ear.

Knowing I would be telling him that I would accept his proposal of marriage later that day, I thrilled at his presence. “Merry Christmas to you, too.” I smiled at him and he kissed me softly on the lips.

After breakfast we went into the living room to open presents. Just as I'd hoped, Trevor loved the Broncos jacket I'd given him. He handed me a gift and I carefully unwrapped the paper. It was the latest eReader.

“Trevor, it's perfect,” I said, leaning over and giving him a hug. “But it's so expensive,” I whispered in his ear.

He grinned at me. “You're worth it.”

John reached under the tree and pulled out a small gift. “Here, Lily. This one's for you.”

“Oh.” I took it from his hand, pleasantly surprised that they’d given me a gift. It was a gift card for books to load onto my eReader. “Thank you, John. Thank you, Marcy. I love to read, so this is perfect.” I looked under the tree for the gifts that I’d bought for them once I’d decided to come and handed one to Marcy and the other to John.

A ceramic dog for Marcy to set on a bookshelf, and a Denver Broncos book for John.

“These are perfect, Lily,” said Marcy.

John nodded as he chuckled. “I guess Trevor told you how much of a Broncos fan I am.”

“That's right. And he told me that you like anything to do with dogs, Marcy.”

“I'm so glad you could come, Lily,” Marcy said. “I've really enjoyed getting to know you.”

Her words meant more to me than she knew. I looked over at Trevor. “I'm glad I came, too.”

He took my hand in his.

“Why don't you kids take off for a while?” Marcy said. “Scott and Chris won't be here with their families for another hour or so.”

“Okay, Mom,” Trevor said, then he helped me stand.

As we headed out the front door, I smiled at the lovely day—sunny and clear and pleasantly cool.

“It's a good idea to enjoy some peace before all the kids get here,” Trevor said, leading me down the driveway.

“How many kids do they have?” I tried to calm my heart, knowing this walk would be the best opportunity to tell Trevor my decision.

“Scott has three and Chris has two. But sometimes when they're all together it can seem more like a dozen.”

“I can hardly wait.” I meant it, too. It had always been so quiet at my house on Christmas that I was looking forward to the commotion a family would bring.

We walked in silence, hand in hand, for several minutes. As we approached an elementary school, I led Trevor to a small bench that was near a playground. Other than a pair of boys riding new bikes on the path, we were alone.

“Trevor, I need to talk to you. Let's sit down.”

He followed me to the bench and looked at me expectantly.

“I've come to a decision on your proposal.” I watched his face, and was not disappointed at the hope I saw in his eyes. “I would love to marry you.”

His eyes glistened. “Really? Do you mean it?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I mean it.”

“Oh, Lily, this is the best Christmas present I could have ever wished for.” He slid his arms around me and pulled me to him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I said, pressing my face into his neck.

Security and warmth spread over me as I snuggled in his arms.

W
e agreed
to wait until after Christmas dinner to announce our engagement to his family, but as I looked at the perpetual grin on Trevor’s face, I wasn't sure he'd be able to keep our secret that long.

Trevor had been right about his nieces and nephews—there was a lot of commotion with them around. I met Scott and Chris and their wives and everyone had been kind to me. I hadn't had much of a chance to visit with any of them—they were kept busy with their rambunctious children.

I helped Marcy get the finishing touches ready for dinner, and when everyone found his place at the table, I thought of the contrast this meal and large group of people was to Thanksgiving when Trevor and I'd been by ourselves.

When everyone had finished eating, Trevor stood. “I have an announcement to make.”

All eyes were on him as he reached down to me and helped me to my feet to stand by his side.

I felt extremely self-conscious as everyone's attention shifted to me. I looked at Trevor, waiting for him to take the lead.

“Lily and I are getting married,” Trevor said.

“Congratulations, little brother,” Scott said, standing to shake Trevor’s hand.

Marcy came over to us and hugged me. “I'm so happy.” Tears shimmered in her eyes.

After several minutes everyone settled back down.

“Have you thought about when the wedding will be or where?” Marcy asked.

I looked at Trevor then back at Marcy. “We haven’t gotten that far.”

“I’d like to get married as soon as possible,” Trevor said, a grin on his face.

I was pretty sure why he said that, but I was also pretty sure no one else had a clue. Everyone’s eyes swiveled in my direction and I wondered if they thought I was pregnant. The idea was the definition of ironic.

When I said nothing, Trevor laughed, and everyone’s attention shifted back to him. “But I guess there’s really no hurry.”

Everyone seemed confused, but I wasn’t about to say anything.

“Well,” Marcy said, breaking the silence, “I suppose we can discuss the details later.”

We finished off the meal with pie and ice cream, then I helped Marcy clean up. I enjoyed the time I spent chatting with her and getting to know her better, but after a while she sent me away and told me to spend time with my fiancé. The sound of the word exhilarated me.

I found Trevor with his dad and brothers watching a football game in the living room. When he saw me come in he motioned for me to sit by him. There wasn’t much room on the couch, so he pulled me onto his lap and nuzzled my ear. Waves of desire raced through me and I turned to face him, meeting his lips in a kiss.

“None of that in here, you two,” Chris said, laughing.

I laughed too, embarrassed to have been noticed, but I loved the feeling of being part of the group.

After a few minutes, Trevor whispered, “I’ve had enough football.”

He helped me from his lap and then he stood, and taking my hand, led me down the hall to the room where I was staying. He closed the door then sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.

I sat beside him with a smile.

He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. “This is why I wanted to come in here.” He took my left hand and slid the diamond ring onto my finger.

The diamond sparkled, and now that I knew we were going to be married, peace and contentment settled over me as I gazed at the gorgeous ring. “It's just as beautiful as when I first saw it.”

He opened his arms and I eagerly went into them. “Do you have any idea how happy I am right now?” he murmured next to my ear.

I smiled against his shoulder. “I think I have an idea.” Then I pulled back. “Do you think your parents think I’m pregnant?”

“Why would they think that?” He looked perplexed.

I laughed. “Well, when you said you wanted to get married right away, I could almost see the wheels turning in their heads. I mean, why else would you want to get married so fast?”

“I guess you’re right.” He grinned. “But I’ll bet you know why I’m anxious to get married.” He smirked at me. “Unless you’re willing to change your mind.” His hands cradled my face as he pressed his lips to mine.

I responded eagerly.

One of his hands slid around my back while the other gently held my neck, then his lips moved away from my mouth to my jaw. He tilted my head back and pressed tiny kisses along my neck, and when I moaned, his lips formed a smile against my skin.

Feeling like things were getting out of hand, I gently pushed him away. “Stop it, Trevor.”

“Come on, Lily. We’re engaged now. What’s the problem?”

I didn’t like the pressure he was putting on me. My hormones were just as powerful as his, but it was important to me to wait until marriage before giving that part of myself away. “The problem is, you’re not respecting my boundaries.”

He turned away with a loud sigh, then he turned back to me. “You’re just being old-fashioned.”

“I know some people might look at it that way, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to save that part of myself until my wedding night.” I hoped he would understand.

He shook his head, clearly irritated. “I know it’s a cliché,” he began, “but men have needs. And right now I have a strong need for you.” His voice dropped to whisper. “Please, Lily.”

I felt terribly guilty for denying him, which made me angry. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. In fact, his pressure on me was wrong. “No,” I said.

A bright flash of fury darkened his eyes, but he got it under control as he said through nearly clenched teeth, “I shouldn’t have to beg.”

A small feeling of fear tickled the back of my neck. “And you won’t have to, as soon as we’re married.”

He sighed, and his face calmed. “Okay. Let’s set a date then. And let’s make it soon.”

The tension in the room dissipated. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, we are in Vegas. We could get married today.”

My mouth fell open. I’d barely decided to marry him—I didn’t know if I was ready to actually make it legal that day. Plus I wanted the full experience, not some quickie wedding. “Trevor, I know you don’t want to wait, but I promise we’ll have the wedding soon. There’s planning involved.”

“Why can’t we just elope? The results will be the same whether we have a big wedding or a quick one.”

I sighed. “Don’t you know that every girl fantasizes about her big day? I don’t want to be denied that experience.”

“Fine,” he said, clearly not thrilled. “I guess I can wait a little longer.” Then he looked at me with intensity. “But Lily, you need to know that this is not easy for me.”

A small smile turned up the corners of my mouth, and I reached out and stroked his face. “Trevor, the fact that you’re respecting my wishes on this shows me how much you love me and it makes me love you even more.”

That brought a smile to his face and he pulled me into a warm embrace. “I do love you and I’d do anything for you.”

Relief swept over me that he wasn’t angry any longer, and I reveled in the love I felt from him.

“
T
hank
you for bringing me to meet your family,” I said as we sat on my couch. I snuggled up to Trevor’s side and he put his arm around me. “I really like them.”

“They like you, too.”

“Do you really think so?”

He ran his fingers through my long, dark hair. “Trust me, they like you. They're happy we're getting married. By the way, when are we going to set a date?”

Now that I'd accepted his proposal, I enjoyed fantasizing about our special day. “I know you want to do it soon and I agree.” I tilted my face to his and kissed him with longing. He cradled my face in his hands as his lips met mine with urgency.

He pulled back. “Good.” His voice was husky. “Because if you want me to respect your wishes, we need to get this thing going.”

“Okay, do you want to talk about it now?”

“Unfortunately, Rob needs me to come in.”

“Why now?”

“Since I took all that time off to go to Vegas he needs me to help him catch up. I promised him I’d come in. What about tomorrow night? Can we talk about it then?”

“Okay. I’m meeting Alyssa for lunch, and then I’m going to buy my books for next semester since school starts in a week. But if you're coming over, I'll make sure to be home.”

He kissed me before standing and putting on his jacket. “I'll plan on it, then.”

I walked him to the door and gave him one last kiss before he left. Once alone, I unpacked my suitcase and admired the ring on my finger.

Now that we were engaged I didn't plan on taking it off ever again.

“
I
can't believe
you're officially engaged,” Alyssa said before taking a bite of her salad.

I sat across from her at the restaurant, nearly beaming with my good news. “And all those things you hear about in-laws? Well they're just not true in this case. I really like his parents. They're very nice.”

“I'm happy for you, truly. It’s just, how sure are you that he’s given up his partying ways? ”

“He told me he has and I trust him. He would never lie to me. He's not like that.” I shook my head. “You just don't know him.”

Alyssa smoothed the napkin on her lap before looking at me. “Justin and Pamela have begun talking about marriage too.”

“Oh? Well, that’s great. I’m happy for them.”

“Yeah. It’s good he’s moved on.”

“So will you be able to come to my wedding?” I asked. “I want you to be my maid of honor.”

“You do? I'd love to. I'll make sure I can come.”

I smiled in relief. “Oh, I'm so glad. You'll be the only person there from my side of the family, so to speak.” Even as I said the words, I had to swallow over the lump that formed in my throat as I thought of my father and how much I wished he could be part of my wedding day.

“Of course I'll be there, Lily,” Alyssa said.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

We finished eating and paid the bill, and a few minutes later I stood. “Well, I’d better get going. I want to get my books for the new semester.”

Alyssa stood as well. “Yeah, I need to get mine, too. But I'm waiting a few more days.”

“Thanks for inviting me to lunch. We should do it more often.” I slung my purse over my shoulder.

“Congratulations on your engagement to Trevor. I'm really happy for you.” She smiled warmly. “And if you need any help planning things let me know. I'd be happy to lend my expertise. I've helped my mother plan two weddings already.”

“Great. I'll probably take you up on that.”

Later that afternoon, after I'd purchased my books for the spring semester, I went home and played with my new eReader. I bought a few books with the gift card the Caldwell's had given me and then began reading one.

A while later I set the eReader aside and booted up my laptop, then clicked on the UNR web site and decided to check my student email account. I didn’t check very often—I had a personal account I used for all of my email correspondence—but I thought I should see if any of my professors had sent anything for the new semester.

A moment later I saw two email messages from the same address. Both emails had been sent before Christmas.

I clicked on the first one, and when I began reading it, I gasped.

You stupid girl! Don't you understand anything? I told you not to get involved with Trevor Caldwell, but from what I've observed you've been spending lots of time with him. I am very disappointed.

With a racing heart, I reread the message. I was scared to open the other message, but knew I had to see what it said.

I understand Trevor proposed to you. For your own safety I strongly recommend that you not accept.

I didn't understand why this person was so interested in my life with Trevor. Gathering my nerve, I hit the Reply button.

Who are you? Why do you care if I marry Trevor Caldwell? I don't understand.

I hit the Send button and exited the program, planning on checking back later to see if I'd received a response. My hands trembled as I closed my laptop.

I couldn't get the messages out of my mind and was only able to wait half an hour before checking to see if the sender had replied. I signed on and was half disappointed and half relieved to find no messages waiting.

Trevor arrived before I tried to check again, and I debated whether to tell him about the strange messages. On the one hand, I didn't want to keep any secrets from him, but on the other, the messages were about him.

I'll wait until I receive a reply. Besides, he didn't seem too concerned about the other strange things that happened.

“How's my favorite girl?” he asked, enveloping me in a hug.

In his arms, I felt safe. “Now that you're here, I'm great.”

He pulled back. “What'd you do today? Anything exciting?”

I smiled as I gazed into his blue eyes. “I went to lunch with Alyssa, bought my books and then played with my new eReader.”

“Oh, so you liked my present. I'm glad.” He smiled, obviously pleased that his gift was a hit.

“I love it,” I said. “Let's sit, Trevor, and you can tell me about your day.”

He followed me to the couch. “Just a boring work day.” He held my hand. “Have you thought any more about a wedding date?”

My stomach tightened at his words. After the ominous messages I'd received, I was reluctant to make such a definite commitment. “I don't know,” I hedged. “Do you have any suggestions?”

“Tomorrow?” he said, laughing. “Really though, I want to get married right away. How long would it take you to get ready?”

“I . . . I don't know. I don't even know what needs doing. Alyssa offered to help. She said she’s helped plan weddings before.”

His face lit up. “That's great. Call her right now and find out what we need to do to get ready.”

“Right now?”

He jumped to his feet. “Yes, now.” Trevor went into the kitchen and grabbed the notepad and pen from the counter and brought them back to me. “Here. You can write down what she says.” He glanced around. “Where’s your phone?”

“It’s in my purse.”

Jumping up again, he picked up my purse and handed it to me. I dug around and pulled out my phone, but I didn't know why I felt so hesitant.

I’m not going to allow some anonymous person to spook me from marrying the man I love.

Determined to move forward with my plans, I dialed Alyssa's number.

After explaining my reason for calling, I listened as Alyssa told me what needed to be planned and I wrote it all down on the notepad. I hung up a short time later.

Trevor took the notepad from my lap. “Okay. So what do we need to do first?”

Trevor’s excitement was contagious, and I began to feel more energized about planning our wedding. “It sounds like I need to find a dress right away. That way if any fittings need to be done there will be time for that. And then we need to order a cake and flowers. And of course we need to make arrangements for a place to get married and someone to do it.”

“What's the procedure on finding a wedding dress?” Trevor asked. “Am I allowed to help you find one or is that against the rules?”

I laughed at his question. “I think it's best if Alyssa helps me find one. But thanks for the offer. We could pick out the cake together though. Which brings me to the reception. Where should we have it? I don't know that many people here.”

“Hmm. Yeah, same here.”

“Did your parents say anything to you about hosting a reception?” I asked, thinking that would solve a lot of my anxiety.

“No, but if you want me to, I could ask them.”

“Would you? If we could let them be in charge of it that would be one less thing for us to worry about.” I paused. “What about the cost? How are we going to pay for everything?”

“Hmm. I think we should split the costs up. Like, you pay for your wedding dress and the flowers. I’ll pay for the photographer and the cake. How does that sound?”

“That sounds fair. What about any other reception costs?”

“I think my parents might cover the rest.” He paused. “There's still the matter of the date. Now that you've talked to Alyssa, do you have any idea?”

“If I find a dress off the rack, which would be much cheaper, we'd only need a month or so.”

His face brightened. “Only a month? That would be great.”

I smiled at his enthusiasm—it made me feel incredibly loved and wanted to know Trevor was so anxious to have me become his wife. I grabbed my calendar, and together we looked at the dates in January and February.

“How about Valentine's day?” I suggested, thinking it would be romantic.

“That's not for at least six weeks. I don't know if I can wait that long.” His eyebrows rose as he smiled.

I smiled in return then turned back to the open calendar. “Okay, you choose.”

He pointed to a date. “How about right here? The fourth Saturday in January?”

“All right. That sounds fine.”

Trevor set the calendar on the coffee table and pulled me into his arms. “Only four and half weeks. I can hardly wait.”

I snuggled against him and let myself be enveloped in his body heat, not allowing any worries to press on my mind.