Here For You (28 page)

But tomorrow was another day and after what had just happened I needed sleep. Picking up the pillow from the floor, I didn’t hear the door close behind me. It could only mean that he was still here. James,
please
go. If only he could read my mind.

Since my room was upstairs I had to face him. He was in the same spot that I’d shoved him to. His back was toward the stairs and he just stood there. I couldn’t get past him if I wanted to go upstairs. Knowing James, he wouldn’t let me.

“Excuse me,” I said with my chin held high. I didn’t want to show any sign that anything had affected me, although it killed me.

He didn’t move an inch, just stared at the floor. I was about two seconds from moving him out of my way, whether he stood there all night or not, I didn’t care, but I wanted to go upstairs to bed.

“I’m sorry,” he said. I barely heard him. It was a whisper, but it was full of… “I don’t know what got into me. I saw him and thought maybe you two rekindled your love for one another. I got scared and defensive. I didn’t want to think it but with the lights off and the late night I couldn’t help where my mind went. I ran upstairs to see if you were in your room and your bed was a mess. I figured that’s why it took so long for someone to answer the door. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He didn’t look at me the whole time he was speaking, obviously ashamed of what he’d done. He was protecting what was his, but his way was the wrong way. Grey could totally press charges on James. He had no right to do that.
What do I do?

After running my hands through my hair I placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat, and it was fast.
Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump
at a rapid speed. He was nervous or scared. I could feel his apology lodge deep inside of me.

My hands slipped up his chest to his neck. I pull his forehead so that it touched mine. That soft touch ignited a sensation between my legs. I shouldn’t be feeling this way, especially after what had just happened, but I couldn’t help it. Whenever he was around my feelings and emotions would mix together and create something explosive.

His strong hands wrapped around my waist and the blanket I was holding dropped to the floor. “I’m sorry.”

His sorry was full of desperation. But for what? Did he think I might leave him for what he did? Call everything off? If I was in his shoes I might have thought he would leave me too. What he did was totally uncalled for and it should have never happened. But how could I punish him for something he thought was the right thing to do? He was so very insecure, not only about himself, but about this relationship.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I reassure him.

When he looked at me his eyes were full of shock…confusion…relief. He crashed his lips against mine and it was cool against hot. I was melting in his hands. This man had my soul and my body. Our kiss was one of greed and lust. Love and starvation. I wanted him in every single way I could get him. My hands snaked behind his head, pulling some of his hair. A soft moan escaped his throat, into my mouth, vibrating our kiss. We were hungry for each other. The hands that were around my waist traveled under my shirt. His hard hands on my body liquefied me. They made their way up until they grabbed and squeezed my breast. I couldn’t help the moan that came from me. The pleasure built with each expert touch against my body. He started to move until I was pushed up against a wall. He removed his hands from my bare skin and grabbed my wrists. He lifted my hands so that they were above my head and pinned me there.

My eyes shuttered as his tongue licked me from my lower lip down to my neck. I couldn’t help but wrap one of my legs around his waist. His bulge was up against my body and I rocked against him. He hissed through his teeth. I didn’t stop rocking until I felt a sharp nip on my breast. He’d bit me through my shirt and I, in turn, went into a frenzy. As I wrapped my other leg around his waist he pinned my lower body to the wall, grinding against me. Oh my goodness, I was going to combust and we hadn’t done anything that involved insertion. After what happened earlier I didn’t think this was how the rest of the night was going to pan out. But I couldn’t stop, and I didn’t want him to.

Slipping my wrists free of his hands, I wrapped my arms around him. He looked at me as he grinded into me and grinned. I leaned my head back. The pressure was building but I wanted him inside me to finish me off. Pulling me from the wall, he grabbed my butt and held me as he made his way upstairs. I couldn’t help but giggle. I loved this man. This crazy jealous man.

james

Fuck, her body against mine was a like a symphony, and I couldn’t wait until it was just our naked bodies pressed against each other.

I wished earlier hadn’t happened, but if it didn’t then this might not have happened either. Becca and I bickered, always had, and I was sure we always would. But this right here was pure love and lust mixed into one. As soon as I swung the door open to her bedroom I settled her on her feet. Her eyes hypnotized me, freezing me, and I realized that I wanted to take it slow with her. At first, I wanted to fuck her like she’d never been fucked before. But now, I just wanted to make love to her.

Lifting my hands, I caressed her cheeks, feeling her smooth skin against mine. I pushed some of her hair behind her ears, making my way down her neck to the hem of her shirt. I grabbed it and lifted it over her head. She raised her arms and I slipped that thin fabric from her. She was wearing a red lacy bra and her breasts were so full and downright fucking sexy.

I kept my hands away from her as I snaked them up to paw her breast. They were so big that they barely fit in my hands. I guessed she couldn’t wait because she grabbed the hem of my shirt and did the same to me. I was taller than her so I had to pull the shirt off the rest of the way. Her hands came in contact with my chest and I inhaled sharply. Her hands on my body felt so fucking good. Her fingertips were cool compared to the warmness of her palms. I wrapped my arms around her and reached for the hook of her bra. I quickly unlatched it and watched as her bra made its way to the floor.

Fuck. Me.

Slowly, she moved forwards and pressed her breasts against my chest. I swore no woman had ever had me under their control like this one right here. I knew the bed was behind me so I turned around until the back of her knees came into contact with the edge of the bed. She sat down, looking up at me. Damn, she was so fucking sexy, and all mine. Only mine. Nobody else. Ever. I leant down, placing a soft kiss on her lips before I made my way to where I’d seen her iPod. After walking toward her radio I plugged the iPod into it and found the song I was looking for. Soon, her room filled with Adele ‘Love Song’ and I made my way to her. I dropped to my knees and placed my hands on her thighs, moving them up to her buttons before undoing them. She laid back and her hair spilled around her as though she was underwater. Fucking beautiful. Then I removed her jeans.

Speechless.

I couldn’t even think. She was perfect. Her thighs were full and curvaceous. Her breasts were perfect mounds. Those eyes were heaven and her skin felt like satin. I’d had woman, loads of woman, but at that moment nothing trumped this or her. She was a fucking goddess.

After removing my pants and boxers, I made my way to the bed and grabbed the sheets to cover us. I couldn’t stop touching her, and it was the same for her. I kissed her chin, cheeks, going up to her ears. I whispered the lyrics to the song in her ears and everything that spilled from my mouth was the truth. This woman had me wrapped so tightly around her fingers it was unbelievable.

As I continued to repeat the words to Becca I shifted so that I was on top of her, parting her legs so I could fit between them.

Stopping suddenly, I couldn’t help my thoughts pouring from my mouth. “Becca, are you sure to want to do this?” I didn’t know why I asked. I’d never asked anyone before. I’d just go with it. But something, and I don’t know what it was, had me asking.

Her fingers were gripping my biceps like she was holding on for her life, her fingernails digging into my skin. I loved the slight pain and pleasure it ignited deep inside me.

“Yes, I want this. I want you.” I looked at her lips as she spoke those words.

That’s all it took for me to sink inside her. I almost exploded on contact but I kept it together. She felt so good and we fit so perfectly together. This was how we should be. She gasped from the contact but welcomed the feeling. Her head leaned back and her eyes fluttered. My hips rocked back and forth, sliding in and out of her. I started to kiss her face everywhere, not missing a single piece of her skin, her nose, both of her eye lids, cheeks, jaw, chin, lips.

She held on tighter, enjoying the ride, and I was in ecstasy. She was the only drug I needed. I cupped her face, and then noticed wetness. Looking into her eyes, I saw she was crying. The tears were steaming down the sides of her face. I immediately stopped.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry.” What did I do? I kissed the sides of her face, licking the tears that dropped.

She shook her head from side to side. “No, you didn’t hurt me. Don’t stop, James. Please, don’t stop.”

There was no sadness in her eyes so I continued after her begging. Her moans were loud and to keep her dad from hearing I had to cover her mouth with my hand and pump faster.

Fuck.

I loved this woman, always had and always would.

“I love you,” I told her, not stopping. “Fuck, I really love you, Becca.”

Her eyes tried to stop from closing but I knew she was close so I didn’t stop. Not for a beat. Not for a second.

The moment I removed my hand from her mouth she screamed, “I love you, James!” That shit had me come undone and we finished together.

becca

“I love you, James!” I screamed as I finished and I knew he did too from the grunting sound he made.

Wow. I thought making love with James would be great but never did I think it would be epic. I was bound to this man forever, as long as I lived. This was more than I ever thought possible, more than I ever felt, more than anything. I couldn’t help a giggle and cry as they blurted from my mouth. All I wanted was to be happy in this moment, and I was, so fucking happy. This was perfect.

James removed himself from me and leaned to the side, scooping me close to him. I huddled to him and cried. I cried about what just happened and the love that poured from the both of us. I cried for the future. Our future. I cried because I was so happy. I cried because my dad was dying. I cried because my mom was dead. I cried because I knew that soon, even if it was not tomorrow or the next day, James would have to go back to Florida.

James strong hands held me tight, letting me know that he wasn’t leaving me just yet. “Shhh, babes, it’s okay.” His voice was filled with concern.

That was all I ever had nowadays; concern thrown my way. But his was the one that mattered. The one that I trusted. The one that I believed.

I broke from his hold and wiped my nose and eyes with the back of my hand. Then I looked at him. His naked body was on my bed, and it was all mine. Sure, women had got to see it before, but I got to keep it now and forever.

His fingers were under my chin. “Want to talk about it?”

I wanted to shake my head ‘no’ but I knew I had to explain. “It’s just everything is perfect, but not.” He didn’t speak. My fingers played with the blanket on my lap as I continued. “What we did was perfect. And I'm so happy. But I’m sad because I’m happy. I’m sad because I shouldn’t be happy. Not with everything that is going to happen with my dad and what happened with my mom.”

“What happened with your mom?”

I couldn’t look at him, so I continued to play with the blanket. “She’s…dead.”

Fuck. I hadn’t said those words out loud. It made me think that I would be saying that about my father very soon.

James sat up fully and shifted so his back was against the headboard. He opened his arms. “Come here.”

I looked up and crawled toward him. He spread his naked legs apart and I made my way to the middle, my back to his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

“How do you know she’s dead?”

“My dad told me yesterday…I guess it’s his way of getting things off his chest before he…can’t.” I remembered the paper he gave me yesterday.
I sat up between James’ legs and leaned over to my drawer. Opening the top drawer, I pulled out a piece of wrinkled paper then made my way back to him.

I was fully aware that I was naked, but being like this with James was so soothing and it felt natural. I handed him the paper. “What’s this?” he asked.

“My dad gave me that paper yesterday. He said my mother wrote it to me. I don’t want to read it.” I played with the hair on James legs, lightly trying to twist it, although it wasn’t long enough, so I rubbed his legs up and down softly.

“Would you like for me to read it to you?” I didn’t expect him to read it to me. Maybe read it, yes, but not to me.

I shook my head. “I’m scared. I wanted to say so much shit to her, you know? Curse her out about how much she sucked at being a mother. Tell her how much I hated her. But now that she’s gone there’s nothing left for me to say or do. I just feel sad about it now.” I told him the truth. The feelings I had about a woman I never knew, but inexplicably cared about.