Holding On (29 page)

Marienne reached out and stroked his hair. He leaned into her fingers.

“Talk to him,” she whispered. “Please.”

He nodded, eyes closed. He knew she was right.

What in God’s name am I going to say?

Chapter Forty-One

The scent of tomato sauce hit Daniel the moment he stepped into the garage. He breathed in deeply, trying to relax into the thought of being home. His day had been filled with back-to-back meetings and classes and he’d had a nagging headache since lunch.

Marienne stepped out of the laundry room as he took off his shoes.

She wrapped her arms around him. “How was your day?”

“Better now.” He held her close.

She rubbed the back of his neck, and he rolled his head back against her hand. The headache lessened. “Good?” she asked, tilting her face up.

“Better than good.” He kissed her. Her lips were salty, probably from tasting the sauce. He leaned her against the wall. “Where are the kids?” He ran his lips over her ear.

“They’re watching Tigger.” She pressed her hips into his.

The lid on one of the pots on the stove banged furiously as water bubbled out and onto the burner.

“Sorry.” Marienne struggled out of his grasp and scooted over to the stove.

Daniel let out a deep breath. He watched as she dropped handfuls of spaghetti into the boiling water and pushed them down to fit. He came up behind her, sweeping her hair to the side, and kissed her neck. She removed the lid from the second pot. The deep red sauce simmered. She gave it a quick stir then blew on a spoonful.

“You’re killing me.” He whispered in her ear.

Her laughter vibrated through him. She held the spoon up to his lips. “Careful, it’s still hot.”

“Are we talking about the sauce?”

“Try it.”

He took the spoonful. “It’s fantastic.” He rubbed against her.

“Are you talking about the sauce?” She turned in his arms.

He kissed her, and her hands sunk into his hair. He tried to remember how long it takes spaghetti to cook and decided he didn’t care—maybe they could slip into the laundry room for a few minutes. But Marienne pulled away.

“Promise you won’t get mad.”

Tension crept back up his neck.

“Okay….”
What now? Can’t I just have one uneventful hour today?

Marienne continued rubbing the back of his neck, but it no longer felt relaxing. “We got a phone call today, from your father.”

Daniel’s whole body went rigid. “We don’t know that man is my father.”

Marienne sighed. Her hand stilled but she kept her arms around him. “Okay, we got a phone call from Roger.” She paused. “He’s going to be in Boston on business on Friday. So I invited him to come by. For dinner.”

“You did what?” Daniel pulled out of her grasp and paced across the kitchen, his hand anchored in his hair. The headache was back full force.

“He asked if he could stop by. He wants to meet us. Wants to meet you. I thought it would be good. You’ll be meeting him on your own turf, I thought….”

“I don’t know what you were thinking. My own turf? What are we going to have a rumble? Perhaps after dinner we can drag race down to the market?” He sat down at the kitchen table and rubbed his forehead with both hands. “How could you do this? How could you invite him here? To our home?” He stared at her.

Marienne came up to him, cautiously. She reached out and stroked his hair. He wanted to close his eyes and relax into her touch, to forget the entire conversation, but he was too angry.

“Seriously,” he said. “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that even though you don’t want to do this, you should. Daniel, the man is very likely your father, and if that’s true, then there’s a good chance that the rest of his story is true as well. I think you need to meet him, to talk to him. If you won’t do it for him, or for yourself, do it for me. Give him a chance.”

“For you?”

“Yes. We have little enough family. Your mother is gone. My father is gone. Ruth is far away now that we’ve moved. If the kids have another grandparent out there I’d like to know.”

Daniel took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was difficult to say no to her. And it wasn’t like her to dig in her heels like this. “Fine,” he said. “But I still think this is a bad idea.”

“Well, we’ll find out on Friday.” She leaned in and kissed him. “It’ll be good. You’ll see.”

He hoped she was right, but he didn’t see how that was possible.

****

After dinner Daniel sat down to read to Ella and Drew. Marienne was in the kitchen, baking brownies. He knew they were apology brownies to make up for inviting Roger. As much as he loved the brownies, he didn’t think it was a fair trade.
I don’t want Roger coming here.

While he read, the phone rang.

Marienne yelled, “I’ve got it.”

Daniel paused to listen as she answered. “Yes, hi. I’m glad you called…. I did. Friday will be fine.”

Roger.
Daniel propped Drew up on the sofa then handed Ella the book. “Here, you two look at the pictures a minute. I’ll be right back.”

He strode into the kitchen, trying to make eye contact with Marienne. “Is that Roger?” he asked, keeping his voice as low as possible.

Marienne nodded, covering the mouthpiece. “Yes, he’s trying to figure out what time he’ll get here. Do you want to speak with him?”

Daniel felt his jaw tense. “No.”

Marienne took her hand off the phone. “That should be fine. It shouldn’t be more than a two hour drive. Where will you stay?”

Daniel flashed her a look. “Not here.” He mouthed, shaking his head.

Marienne flashed her eyes at him. “Why not?” she whispered, her hand back on the mouthpiece. “Shouldn’t I at least offer?”

“No.” Daniel kept his voice as low as possible, though he wanted to shout.
Stay here? Has she gone mad?
The headache began to pound again.

“Why don’t you let me make you a reservation?” Marienne said. “There are several lovely inns nearby. I’ll book a room for you. You can come straight here, and then we’ll give you directions.”

Daniel paced around the room, arms crossed, considering grabbing the phone and telling him not to come at all.

Marienne frowned. “Okay, sounds great. I look forward to meeting you too.” She hung up. “You really have to calm down.”

“If you wanted me to stay calm you picked the wrong person to invite for dinner. And I can’t believe you were going to ask him to stay here. Are you completely barmy? We don’t even know him, and you want him staying in our house? With our children?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. It just seemed like it would be polite to offer. He’s going out of his way to come….”

“I don’t care if he’s walking here, he’s not staying in our house.”

“Who’s not staying at our house?” Ella appeared out of nowhere and stood next to Daniel. Her brow was furrowed.

“Just someone who’s coming for dinner on Friday,” Marienne said.

Great. What on earth do we tell Ella about who Roger is?
Daniel paced again, gnawing on the edge of his thumb. He walked into the family room and saw that Drew had fallen asleep. He scooted him closer to back of the couch so he wouldn’t fall off if he rolled over. He paused to run his fingers over Drew’s feathery head. So soft and warm. So fragile. He wanted to protect him from everything.
I can’t believe she invited that man to our house.
He could hear Marienne answering Ella’s barrage of questions.

“No Daddy hasn’t met him before, but they’ve sent letters to each other. They knew some of the same people back in England.”

Daniel threw her a look, shaking his head. The oven beeped. The brownies were done. He no longer even wanted one.

Chapter Forty-Two

Marienne spent all day Friday cooking and getting the house ready. She was excited and nervous to meet Roger. And she was very worried about Daniel. She’d never seen him so stressed. She began to wonder if she’d done the right thing by inviting him for dinner.

Ella had been full of questions since they told her they were having company. Who is he? Why is he visiting us? Daniel was adamant about them introducing him only as Mr. Cromwell. Ella had been practicing his name all morning.

By the time Daniel came home from work everything was almost done. The chicken was roasting in the oven, the vegetables were already cooked, the butternut squash soup just needed to be reheated. She’d even made a chocolate cake. She was hoping that having all of Daniel’s favorite foods for dinner would bring him some comfort.
Please let this go well.

Daniel walked into the kitchen, the stress evident on his face. His forehead was furrowed, his body rigid
. I wish he could just relax. This may be such a good thing….

She reached up and hugged him, wanting to let him know she was there for him, no matter how things turned out. He hugged her back, but she could feel the tension in him. She kissed him then wiped the lipstick smudge from his lips. “Sorry,” she said.

He ran his hand absently over his mouth. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance he called to cancel?”

Marienne shook her head. “No, he should be here any minute.” She thought it might be better to keep Daniel busy. “You want to get the wine? I left it in the garage so it would stay cool It’s over by the side of the car.”

“Fine.” Daniel headed down the hallway. She heard the garage door shut behind him then the doorbell rang. She gave her hands a quick wipe on a kitchen towel then rushed to the front door.

Here we go.

****

Daniel heard the doorbell from inside the garage. His stomach knotted. He grabbed two bottles of wine and headed back inside. Roger’s voice carried in from the foyer. He had more of an accent than Daniel had imagined—refined and dignified, almost gentle. He set the bottles on the kitchen table and rounded the corner to the front hall.

He stopped in his tracks as he laid eyes on Roger. He was tall and thin, full head of graying hair.

“This is our daughter, Ella,” Marienne said, her hand on Ella’s shoulder.

Roger bent forward and reached out, his long fingers extended toward her. “How do you do, Ella? It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Daniel bristled at the sight of him touching Ella, but he couldn’t keep the other thought out of his mind. This man, this stranger, looked exactly like him. Older, of course, but uncannily like him. The build, the jaw line, the hand. He felt cold from head to toe.

This really is my father
.

Roger straightened and looked up. His eyes met Daniel’s. His head cocked to the side. It was clear he could see the resemblance too. They approached one another slowly. Roger extended his hand, and Daniel forced himself to take it.

Roger’s eyes looked directly into his. “Daniel. Good to meet you.”

Daniel nodded, not trusting his voice. Marienne came up beside him. “Would anyone like a drink before dinner? Wine? Beer? Scotch?”

“Wine would be lovely,” Roger said.

“I’ll open a bottle,” Daniel said. He needed to do something, and that seemed as good a distraction as any. Roger followed him and Marienne into the kitchen. Ella scooted past them.

“Mommy can I make the salad,” she asked.

“Of course, Sweetie. Wash your hands first.”

Ella climbed onto her step stool and turned on the water.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Roger asked.

“No, thanks, I don’t think so,” Marienne said. “Do you cook?”

“Not unless you consider toast and tea cooking, no. But I’m sure I could assist in making a salad, if someone were to give me some pointers.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled at Ella.

Daniel grabbed the bottle of cabernet and began to twist the corkscrew.

“Here, Ella.” Marienne rinsed the lettuce then handed her the salad spinner. “Why don’t you rinse. Maybe Mr. Cromwell can cut up the cucumber while you slice the peppers. You can use this.” She placed a dinner knife on the cutting board. Ella cranked the handle and spun the lettuce.

Daniel poured the wine into three glasses. He waited until Marienne had drained the water from the spinner then handed her one. She met his eyes with a hopeful look. He tried to smile but it didn’t quite work. He set the other glass down next to Roger.

“Thank you.” Roger cuffed his sleeves, preparing to hack up a cucumber.

Bile rose in Daniel’s throat. “I can do that.” He picked up the knife and cucumber.

“I don’t mind,” Roger said.

“Well I do.” Daniel caught the look Marienne shot him. “Why don’t you have a seat and relax. You must be tired from your drive.” Her expression softened. Daniel closed his eyes and tried to remember to breathe.

****

The meal went as well as could be expected. At least everyone had something to do while they ate. Ella chattered away asking Roger a million questions. What’s it like to live in England? Why do you have a gold pin on your tie? How do you know my Daddy?