Holding On (59 page)

“Joe, I was supposed to be done”—he paused to take a look at
his watch
before
continuing
to
scream
across
the
room
at
his
boss—“ten minutes ago, and my lunch date is here to get me.” He wiggled his
eyes at me, and I rolled mine high so that I was sure he saw
me.

A
handful
of
eyes
followed
his
gaze.
There
were
a
few
who
looked
a moment too long, probably trying to place me outside the tennis
courts. Those few people gave me a wave like we were old friends and not
just passing acquaintances. I didn’t care either way and waved back with
a smile.

My smile disappeared when I felt Joe walk up behind me. He
was
creepy
and
weird
but
very
nice.
I
hated
it
when
he
would
touch
me, but if he kept his distance, I could be comfortable.
Today,
that was
not possible as he pushed his way through the crowd and bumped into me from behind. My body automatically shivered in response to him
being so close to me, but I realized that he probably didn’t do it on
purpose.

“Brad’s
a
bit
cranky
today.
You
better
keep
an
eye
on
him,”
he said
but
never
stopped
walking,
thankfully.
I
saw
him
take
Brad’s
place behind one of the registers, and Brad disappeared into the back
room. He
emerged
with
his
backpack
in
hand,
and
I
motioned
that
I
would
meet him
outside.

I
was
only
about
twenty
seconds
ahead
of
him,
but
getting
out
of
the chaos was refreshing. It felt like a mosh pit in there.
Too
many
bodies, not
enough
room,
and
the
temperature
was
about
102°
today,
so
the mingling of scents was becoming
overpowering.

I
pushed
past
the
last
few
people
and
felt
immediate
relief
as
I stepped out into the scorching heat of the
city.

“Hey,
right
on
time.
How
was
your
first
class?”
Brad
asked
excitedly.

As we took our first steps toward the cafeteria where we
were meeting
Ethan
and
Ella,
I
realized
that
Brad
and
I
had
not
been
alone together
since
he
was
in
the
hospital
last
year.
Ella
or
Ethan
were
always with us, no matter what we were doing. I don’t think it was on
purpose or
a
safety
measure
for
them;
it
just
happened
to
be
that
way
most
of the
time.
I
was
excited
to
be
able
to
spend
time
with
my
friend,
my roommate.

When
Brad
told
me
that
he
applied
to
the
U
and
was
accepted,
I about fainted on sight.
We
were in Cancun with a bunch of our
friends, and
Ethan
was
standing
behind
me
to
catch
me.
He
was
incredibly supportive of our friendship, especially after I almost lost Brad. I
don’t think
he
really
understood
what
he
meant
to
me
until
that
moment
in
the hospital when Brad first woke
up.

I was excited for him, and we were hugging each other when
Ella walked up and told me the same thing. She and Brad had started
dating shortly after he recovered. He had called me first to tell me. She
called me
as
soon
as
I
hung
up
with
him
and
asked
me
for
my
permission.
I thought
it
was
funny
at
the
time
but
gave
her
my
blessing.
I
now
realized that our love for each other must have been apparent to others before
it was
apparent
to
us.
She
didn’t
need
my
permission,
but
I
was
happy
that he was dating someone that I thought would finally make him
happy.
My
shock
had
finally
worn
off
when
I
saw
them
at
Christmas,
but
it
still felt
weird.

I gave her a big hug and congratulated
her.
When I realized that
I would be going to college with two of my best friends in the world
and the
love
of
my
life
too,
I
started
to
cry,
which
prompted
Ella
to
cry.
Brad and Ethan stood by our sides, rubbing our backs. I started to think
how great this was going to be and how wonderful they were when I
looked up
and
realized
that
they
were
silently
laughing
at
us.
I
composed
myself and smacked them both on their defined chests, and so did
Ella.

My joy was compounded when Ethan suggested that we all get
a house
together,
instead
of
living
in
the
dorms.
I
was
shocked
that
he would
want
to
live
with
Brad,
but
after
observing
them
on
our
vacation, I saw
why.
They were becoming friends. I was their common thread
at first, but now they were finding things to talk about besides me
(thank God). At the end of spring break, when we parted ways at the 
airport, I
noticed
them
do
the
man
hug
thing
again,
and
this
time,
it
looked comfortable
to
them.
I
was
excited
for
high
school
to
end,
college
to start, and the next chapter of my life to begin.

As we approached the cafeteria, I saw Ella and Ethan waiting
for us
on
a
bench
outside.
Ella
ran
up
and
jumped
in
Brad’s
arms,
wrapping her
legs
around
his
waist
and
kissing
him
fiercely.
It
reminded
me
of how
affectionate
Ethan
and
I
used
to
be.
Now
we
saved
all
that
extra affection for our moments alone. It was
so
much better that
way.

I grabbed Ethan’s hand as he approached, and he twirled me
into his arms.
With
my back pressed against his chest, he kissed my neck.
I had never been so happy I was running late and pulled my hair up
that morning!
He
loved
when
he
had
full
access
to
my
neck,
and
truthfully,
so
did I. If I never wore my hair down again, I would die a happy
woman.
Plus,
I
knew
that
he
liked
it
when
I
showed
off
the
emerald
earrings
that he had given me for
graduation.

They matched my ring perfectly. He knew that I would never
take that
ring
off
until
I
had
something
to
wear
in
its
place,
not
that
I
was
rushing for a replacement. It was no longer a symbol of love
between me and Brad, although we still very much cared for each
other.
It was
a symbol of friendship.
To
me, it was a reminder of how I found the
love of
my
life,
how
I
found
myself.
It
represented
the
fact
that
no
matter what happens in life, the only thing that matters are the people that
you choose
to
surround
yourself
with
and
how
you
choose
to
live.
Had
I
not moved here, I would never be the person I have become right
now,
and I would be forever changed because of
it.

When
his
lips
started
to
move
north,
I
thought
I
feel
my
knees go weak.
We
were standing in the middle of a courtyard, people
were
walking past us, like nothing was going on, and all I could think about was taking him home to our bedroom.
Too
bad I had two more
classes to go to
today,
and so did he.
Finally,
he reached my
ear,
and instead
of nibbling
like
he
normally
would,
he
whispered
my
three
favorite
words.