Holding On (55 page)

“You
are not dreaming—I’m here. I’ve been here since about
eight hours after the accident, and I haven’t left your side since they put
you in this
room.”

“Tell
me, Becca.
Tell
me what I don’t remember,
please.”

I could hear the pleading in his voice. He wanted the details. I
had them, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about it
yet.

“Let’s
have the doctor check you out first, and then I will tell you. Deal?”

He gave me his “knowing” look. I was stalling, and he was
right.

“I’m gonna grab the doctor and I’ll be right back,” I said breaking eye
contact.

I
slipped
out
of
the
bed,
and
when
I
reached
the
door,
it
opened for me. Stepping back to let them in, I inhaled sharply when his
scent
reached me. I pulled hard on the door and found Ethan standing on the other side. What was he doing
here?

I
jumped
into
his
arms
and
wrapped
my
legs
around
his
waist.
I was
so
excited
to
see
him
at
that
moment
that
I
almost
forgot
what
I
was doing. As he sat me down on the ground and kissed my forehead, I
was
finally able to catch my
breath.

“He’s
awake,”
I
choked
out.
“He
just
woke
up,
and
I…I
have
to
get the
doctor.”
When
our
eyes
met,
he
knew
what
I
was
saying.
He
reached for
my
hand
and
intertwined
our
fingers,
holding
me
tightly
and
pulling me
toward
the
nurses’
station.
His
presence
calmed
me
in
a
way
that
no one
else’s
could.
It
gave
me
strength,
and
from
that
strength,
I
knew
that I was going to make it through this, Brad was going to make it
through this, and everything was going to be all
right.

We
informed the nurses that he was awake, and a mixture of
shock and
excitement
flooded
their
faces.
We
were
asked
to
wait
in
the
waiting room
so
that
he
could
be
checked
out.
I
popped
my
head
back
in
the room
to
let
Brad
know
what
was
going
on
and
told
him
I
would
be
back as soon as the doctor said I
could.

I
made
my
way
to
the
waiting
room
and
called
Brad’s
parents.
They had been at the hospital longer than I had when I sent them home
last night.
I
told
them
to
get
some
sleep
and
promised
to
call
if
anything changed.
The
panic
in
his
mom’s
voice
when
she
answered
told
me
just how scared she still
was.

Two
little
words
set
her
into
a
downward
spiral
like
no
other.
When Mike, Brad father, grabbed the phone in a state of panic, I told him
the same
thing.
“He’s
awake.”
I
heard
a
lot
of
crying
in
the
background,
and I think I heard
Brad’s
mom start to
pray.

“When?” Mike was on the line again, more composed this
time.

I
took
a
deep
breath
and
held
it
for
a
second
before
I
started
to speak.
“He
woke
up
about
fifteen
minutes
ago.
The
doctors
are
with him
right
now.”
I
paused
because
I
knew
that
I
had
to
tell
him
he
was
asking questions. “He wants to know what happened. The last thing
he remembers is talking to me on the phone in his
car.
That was about
ten minutes before the
crash.”

“He needs to talk to the police first. If he doesn’t remember by
the time
he
talks
to
them,
then
I
will
tell
him
what
we
know.”
Mike
said.
His
voice
was
firm.
He
knew
that
this
was
how
things
had
to
be.
He
said that they would head right to the hospital and that Mike would call
the detective on the way
in.

I
was
sitting
on
Ethan’s
lap,
cuddled
up
to
his
chest,
when
the
doctor came to get
me.

“Well,
young
lady,
I’m
not
sure
what
kind
of
miracle
you
performed, but
that
boy
is
very
lucky.
We
were
not
expecting
him
to
wake
up anytime
soon,
let
alone
be
doing
this
well,”
the
doctor
said
with
a
smile
on his
face.

I
drew
in
a
deep
breath,
being
reminded
of
how
severe
the
situation
had been. If the doctor was impressed with his condition, then his
body must be recovering better than
most.

“You
can go back and see him now if you like. Are his parents on their
way?

“They should be here
soon.”

I turned to Ethan as the doctor walked
away.
I knew that he
would want
to
come
in
with
me,
but
I
didn’t
think
that
I
could
handle
that right
now.
As
if
reading
my
mind,
he
nodded
his
head
in
agreement
and motioned with his eyes for me to
go.

“I’ll be back in a minute. I want to go get a real shower and lie on a real bed now that I know
he’s
going to be fine.” I said
reassuringly.

“Okay.
When
his
parents
get
here,
why
don’t
I
take
you
to
your
dad’s
so you can clean up?” Ethan
suggested.

“That sounds perfect.” I started to walk away when the reality
of the situation hit me. I turned around and found his eyes watching
me. When
they
finally
met
mine,
they
were
filled
with
nothing
but
love. “Thank you. I don’t know why you would want to be here for this,
but thank you. It means a lot to
me.”

“I will always be here for you, Becca.
You’re
my
world.”

“And you’re mine. I’ll be right
back.”

I
walked
into
Brad’s
room
to
find
him
standing
beside
his
bed holding
on
for
dear
life.
I
rushed
over
and
took
a
hold
of
him
at
the
hips. I knew that if he fell I would probably go down with him, but I
didn’t really know what else to do.

“What the hell are you doing out of bed?” I screamed, surprised
to find him up and moving
around.

“They
took
the
catheter
out,
and
I
really
need
to
go
to
the
bathroom all
of
the
sudden,”
Brad
replied,
wincing
in
pain
each
time
he
moved.
He
looked sad because he knew he couldn’t do it alone. “Will you help
me to the
bathroom?”

“Of course. Hold onto me, and we’ll take it
slow,
okay?”

Five
minutes
later,
I
was
sitting
him
down
in
the
tiny
little
bathroom and
letting
myself
out.
I
waited
for
him
to
call
for
me
so
that
I
could
help him
back
up.
When
I
faintly
heard
my
name,
I
was
reminded
of
an
hour earlier when I was pulled from sleep by that very sound. I pushed
back the tears as I opened the door and helped him
up.