Honor Thy Teacher (15 page)

“Emma” I called after her, trying to convince myself that I had to make sure she was okay. She ignored me, digging through her purse for her keys. The bag fell from her grasp, spilling its contents all over the ground. “Shit, Emma” I got out and rushed to her side, helping her collect her things. “I’m just trying to protect you.” I was growing frustrated with her.
Why
couldn’t
she just fucking understand I am trying to protect her?
Tears began to roll down her face.
Fuck.
I wip
ed her tears away with the back of my hand. I let my thumb slip across her lower lip.
God, she was so
fuckable
even when she was sad.

“By hurting me?”
She asked, her chin trembling.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You didn’t use the safe word.”
I regretted the words as they left my mouth. Had I really just blamed her? She
didn’t
know any better. I should have been more cautious. “You deserve better.” It was the most honest thing I have said to her.

“What about the note? What if someone comes looking for me?” I
wasn’t
a stranger to woman trying to manipulate me and I knew that was exactly what she was trying to do. I also knew she was right. Someone could come looking for her. I
wouldn’t
let that happen.

“I will take care of that today.” I hoped she knew I meant it. She would always be safe as long as she stayed away from me. She
didn’t
respond. Maybe she did understand. She got in her car and drove off. I waited, thinking about how I would make all of this right.

Chapter Twenty-
Two

I drove back to my house feeling empty. Every second I spent without her felt like an eternity. I hated how weak and out of control I have become. I was risking myself, doing things without hesitation or planning. Like what I did to Jeff. As much as I wanted to make myself feel guilty, I
couldn’t
. The emotion just
wouldn’t
come. I told myself I was protecting her. No one was protecting her from me.

As soon as I got home, I stripped off my clothes and ran through a cold shower. I let the water wash over me as if it could wash away my sins. The ocean
didn’t
even
hold enough water for that.
I washed myself as if it could, scrubbing harder than necessary until my skin burned like fire against the soap.
It still
wasn’t
enough. The pain paled in comparison to the pain I had caused her. To the
pain
I would cause her. I let my hand lower, stroking myself at the thought of her. She was so innocent, so trusting. I never gave her a reason to trust me, but she did. I squeezed tighter, allowing a twinge of pleasure to ripple through my body before stopping myself. I
didn’t
deserve any kind of release. I cocked back my fist and stuck the wall allowing myself, instead the pain that I deserved.

It pumped through me, throbbing up my arm into my chest. It felt good. It felt real. It felt deserved.

I let the water run ice cold before getting out and drying myself off.
I switched on the television as I dipped inside my bedroom for clean clothes. I came back out to the sound of the news. They had just finished a story about a
drunk
driving accident in the early morning hours. I smiled, but it was short lived when they said he was going to be fine.
For now.
They also mentioned a suspicion of foul play but with his blood alcohol level being what it was they
didn’t
take it very seriously. Still, I would have to come up with a plan just in case.

I grabbed my
phone and sent Angela a message. I needed to meet her
face to face
and put end to all of this. I
wasn’t
going to let her hurt Emma. I deserved whatever pain
was brought
upon me, but Emma was innocent.
I had manipulated and used her for my own gain.

As I waited for her to get back to me, I searched the internet to
make arrangements
for after graduation. I knew I
wouldn’t
be able to take Emma away before the end of the year without telling her the truth about Jeff. I would just have to risk it and hope for the best. If anything where to happen before then, I would just have to do whatever it takes to make her safe.
Whatever that may be.

I was exhausted. I spent the entire night thinking of her. Even when I did manage to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, her face haunted my dreams. I could smell her. Taste her on my lips. She was an addiction that I
didn’t
want cured. The utterance of her name caused my body to go rigged and my cock to grow hard.
Her twisted sense of self and lack of any kind of discipline only made me crave her that much more.

I waited anxiously for her to come. I needed another fix. I grabbed her books and placed them on her desk.  It felt like an eternity since I had looked in her eyes. Since I had broken her heart and pushed her away. I leaned against my desk, my blood pounding in my ears as my heart raced. As she walked through the door, her eyes caught mine and for a second the world stood still and spun faster at the same time. Spiraling out of control and orbiting around us. The high was short lived as one of my students came to ask me a question about our last assignment. I answered him quickly and turned back to her but she had disappeared. Like a beautiful mirage. My eyes scanned the room frantically before coming to rest on her.

She held a smile on her face but
didn’t
look at me. I struggled to regain my composure and begin the lesson. I prepared questions to engage the class
and also
to keep myself from fantasizing about her. I asked a few questions, all the while glancing in her direction. She continued to avoid my gaze and appeared
to not even be listening
.

“Emma…Emma!” I called out
, breaking her fro
m her daydream. She looked embarrassed as her eyes shot up and the class looked at her expectantly.

“What?” She asked, not bothering to hide her irritation with me. I deserved it but I
didn’t
like it. I bit back the urge to scold her, to tell her she needed to
be punished
. I had no right to say anything to her at all.

“Who exacted punishment on the rebels of the North of England referred to as ‘The Harrying of the North’?”
I starred at her, not letting her look away from me. I wanted her to hear the word punishment and think of me. As her cheeks burned pink, I knew that she had. Her brain searched for an answer. An answer that I knew she
didn’t
have since I had her book all weekend. If she thought of me, of punishment she could
put two and two together
. Her eyes lit up as she did just that.

“William the conqueror?”
She responded with a smirk. I had used ‘William the Conqueror as my contact name when I programmed my number into her phone.

“That is correct Ms. Townsend.” I bit back a grin. “Good girl” I made sure her eyes
were locked
onto mine as I said it. I knew what those words would do to her. She bit her lip as she flushed. I narrowed my eyes at her, staring at her mouth.
Her
pretty
fuckable
mouth.
She released her lip immediately.

I broke away from her and continued to ask questions. My thoughts never left her though. I ran my hand over the edge of the desk where her fingers had gripped, holding it tightly while I punished her. I ran my hand over the buckle of my belt, which awarded me another lusty stare. My cock twitched and I had
to discreetly
adjust
myself.

Time switched into
hyper
speed and before I knew it the class was empt
y
ing. I fought the urge to ask her to stay, knowing if I asked she would. She would want to please me. I licked my lips and glanced up in time to see her glance over her shoulder.
She looked sad. I knew I was the cause of it.

I thought of nothing else for the rest of the day. I wanted to take away her pain. The pain I had given her.

I made my way to my car and waited for her to come out. She made small talk with her friends before sitting in her car alone. I
couldn’t
resist texting her. I wanted her to know that I was thinking about her.

You are incredibly beautiful, even when you’re sad.

She smiled and I felt my stomach tighten. Her face relaxed again and she knew that I was watching.

Is that why you broke my heart?

Her words cut through me with gut wrenching pain.

I would give anything to take back all of the pain I have caused you.

I watched her as a smile played across her lips.

Some of the pain we enjoyed.

She had no idea what she did to me. Reading words alone made me stiff, painfully so. I took a deep breath and fought the urge to take her in her car.

Go home Emma.

Angela was walking towards my car and I needed time to be alone with her.
To threaten her.
I glanced back at Emma who was glaring at me.

Now!

I gave her a stern look but had to focus on Angela. I got out of my car and greeted her, trying not to draw attention to us.
Emma flew past us, speeding carelessly through the parking lot. I typed quickly, wishing I could go after her.

Slow down.

She sat at the light, waiting for it to change. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as I waited. When it
did
she made sure I understood how upset she was. I cringed as her car lurched dangerously into traffic.

“So…
” Angela
said,
her eyes downcast.

“Why the
fuck have
you bee
n avoiding my calls?” I was livi
d. More
so
at Emma who was self- destructing before my eyes.