Hope(less) (29 page)

“Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling good sooner?” 
Rachel scolded as she helped me into the house with one arm wrapped securely
around my waist.  The cold beads of the dress tickled the backs of my legs as
we walked.

“I d-didn’t know.  It c-came on f-fast.”  We’d stayed at the
club an hour at least, but the house remained quiet and dark.  “Clay?” I called
from the kitchen.  No answer.  How long did Dale keep him on a Friday night?

“I wonder where he is…” Rachel murmured helping me to my
room and eyeing the empty bed.

Too late, I realized my mistake.  When I’d called for Clay,
I’d wanted the man forgetting all about Clay-the-dog.  Thankfully, I hadn’t
said anything more.

She unzipped the back of my dress because I shook too bad to
reach it and then left my room to search the rest of the house for Clay.

I struggled to change into my warm pajamas.

She came back a minute later looking even more worried. “I
can’t find him anywhere.”

 “M-maybe he got out.  I’m going to bed.  I’m sure he’ll
s-show up tomorrow,” I said crawling under the covers.

Rachel got me a glass of water, which she set on the
dresser, and felt my forehead.  “Doesn’t feel like a fever.  Maybe it’s a low
grade fever.”

“I’ll be fine.  Don’t worry about me.  I’ve had this before
and just need sleep.”  I burrowed deeper under the covers curling up to try to
stop shaking.  I wished for Clay again.  I needed him.  He warmed me, comforted
me, and I needed to tell him about my promise to go to another Introduction. 
That wouldn’t go well.

Rachel continued to watch me.  Nurse Rachel, not friend
Rachel.  I needed to distract her before she insisted I go see someone.  “I forgot
to tell you.  I have plans to leave tomorrow to see Sam.  If Clay’s back, I’ll
be taking him with me.”

“You sure you’ll be up for it?”

“Yeah, it’s not something I have a choice about.”

“Alright,” she agreed reluctantly.  “Wake me up if you need
anything.”  She left the room keeping the door ajar.  It made my heart ache
recalling how, first my mother, and then my grandmother had done the same for
me whenever I’d been ill.

I felt Clay hop up on my bed at some point the next morning
and forced my eyes open.  Early morning light pierced my still aching head.  Shaking,
I forced myself to remain awake.  The last time this had happened, it had taken
close to twenty-four hours of sleep before I woke up without a headache.  I
didn’t have time to sleep this one off.  If I didn’t show up on time at the
compound, those Forlorn would come looking for me.  And Clay would get hurt
again.  My mind worked sluggishly.  It would take a little over eight hours to
get to the compound.  I turned my head and saw nine am on the display.

“C-clay, we need to get to the compound.  Can you drive?”  I
struggled to sit up and he cocked his fuzzy head at me.  “A lot happened last
night while you were gone.  I’ll tell you about it on the way.”

I tried standing up, but a dizzying wave knocked me back
onto the bed.  While I sat there panting, I heard Clay move.  The sound of the
blood rushing in my ears distracted me.  I took a moment to breathe deeply
before trying to stand again.

This time, Clay wrapped an arm around me helping.  He’d
shifted.  I glanced at the door.  Still ajar.  He needed to be careful.  Was
Rachel still home?  My wandering eyes caught our reflection in the mirror.

He stood beside me, looking down at me with concern.  No
wonder.  My arm curled around his bare waist in a death grip just to stay
standing.  My pale face enhanced the dark circles under my eyes.  A frizzy mass
of hair haloed my head.  I looked like hell.

He, however, looked…

I stopped gazing at his naked chest long enough to see his
eyes narrow.

…pissed.  He’d just figured out what I’d done again and I experienced,
for the first time, a sense of appreciation that he didn’t talk.  Not wanting
to meet his gaze, I decided to go back to enjoying the view.  Wearing only a
pair of jeans, he had an arm wrapped around my shaking shoulders.  With the
other, he reached up and lightly touched my forehead.

Looking at his image closer, I scowled.

He once again sported bruises and… I squinted… what looked
like a bite mark.  How many challengers were there out there?  It’d thought
just a couple.  He came home with bruises too often for it to be the same few. 
And a bite mark?  I frowned at the mark on his shoulder, but my fuzzy brain
distracted itself again, noticing how good he looked shirtless.  If I weren’t
so sick, even with the bruises and bite mark, I probably would have drooled
like a fool with the view he gave.

Giving up on scowling, I instead said, “I’ll need your help
packing.  Can you help me to the bathroom?”

He nodded and helped me through the door.  My head throbbed
with each step.  I leaned against Clay, letting my head hang a little, trusting
him to guide me.

I saw Rachel’s feet as she intercepted us.  “Hi, Clay. 
How’d you get here?”

I forced myself to look up.  Still in her pajamas and sleep
rumpled, she looked gorgeous.  How she pulled that off, I had no idea.  Concern
filled her eyes when she took in the sight of me.  “I called him.  Sorry
Rachel, I didn’t want to bug you.”

Her gaze drifted to Clay.  “It’s okay, I get it.”  She eyed Clay’s
bare chest and his face as he continued to support me.

I’d forgotten she hadn’t seen him cleaned up like I had.  Although
bruised and bitten probably wasn’t the best first impression, being shirtless
kind of made up for it.  She certainly wasn’t looking at him in a clinically
concerned way and it made me smile.  Rachel was a free spirit and loved life. 
She didn’t mean anything when she looked, but I could sense it made Clay a
little uncomfortable.  I shivered again.  Perfect timing.

“Are you sure you should be going?” she asked managing to
look away from Clay.

“Yeah, Clay’s going to pack for me and then we’ll go. Oh,
and he came by last night, saw the dog out and took him home.  We’ll take him
with, so don’t worry.”

I closed the bathroom door on both of them and focused on
pulling myself together.  I splashed some water on my face, leaning heavily on
the sink and ran my fingers through the snarls.  It didn’t help much, but I didn’t
think it’d matter anyway with a long drive ahead of us.  I took care of
business and shuffled out of the bathroom to look for shoes, not concerned
about changing.

Clay came in from the back door before I could make it to
the hall closet.  He took one look at my chattering teeth, and scooped me up in
his arms.

My squeal brought Rachel from her room before Clay could
make it out the door.  “When you’re feeling better, let’s talk about rental
rates,” she called after us with a snicker.  “And I’m not talking about the
house!”

Clay had a blanket waiting for me in the front seat of the warming
car.  I noticed my bulging messenger bag in the back seat and twisted to grab
the cell phone from it while Clay closed my door.  I buckled and pulled the
blanket snuggly around me.  My fuzzy slippers waited on the floor, but I curled
my legs under me instead.

He slid in behind the wheel, tucked the blanket around me
better, and then pulled out of the driveway.  I struggled to keep my eyes
open.  Sleep pulled at me.

I waited until we drove for a few minutes, clearing town
before saying, “I don’t want to keep going on like this.”

His hands noticeably tightened on the steering wheel and I
could have smacked my forehead if it wasn’t hurting so bad.

“I don’t mean being with you,” I assured him.  “I like
that.  But I don’t like seeing you bruised.”  He loosed his tight hold on the
wheel and glanced at me a smile twitching his lips.  “There’s nothing amusing
about it,” I scowled at him.  Then I murmured, “I don’t like worrying.”

I dialed Sam’s number and struggled to hold the phone to my
ear.  My arm trembled from the effort. Sam picked up during the first ring. 
Not waiting for his greeting I said, “I’m on my way.  Put out a call for
tonight only.”  I hung up before he could speak not ready to talk to him.  He’d
hurt me too much with his last appearance.

Tossing the phone on the back seat ignoring it when it
started vibrating, my gaze drifted to Clay.  He looked outright pissed now.  He
knew who I’d called and what I intended.

I hurried to explain, “It’s not what you think, Clay.  I
don’t want to do another Introduction, but something happened last night.  I
went out with Rachel to a club downtown, not my best decision, but I think I’ve
figured out what’s going on with me.”  I shivered and pulled the blanket
tighter around me.  Sleep tugged at me, but I fought it.

“Remember the party with Nicole?  When I’d touched her, I’d
given her a huge shock.  That happened again last night with two girls at the
club.  I think can transfer my gift, that thing with guys, to other people.  I
didn’t know how it happened the first time.  But I think I’ve figured it out.

“Last night when I touched two women at the club, they’d
been on their own until Rachel and I, and the groupies I’d collected, joined
them.  When we made to leave, they’d been so disappointed.  They knew the guys
they’d been talking to would walk away when we did and it made me feel so sad
for them that I’d reached out, touching them.  I just meant it as an ‘I’m
sorry’ gesture, but it’d happened again just like before.”  My words started
slurring and I had a hard time keeping my thoughts coherent.

“Both times I was thinking about how I wished I could help
them find the person they were meant to be with.  And I think that’s the key.” 
I sighed watching the speedometer.  It hovered ten miles over what I considered
a safe speed.  “I don’t understand why I can see the lights, but I know it must
be all tied together because when I try to use my sight when I feel like this,
it hurts.  Really bad.”  Clay’s expression hadn’t changed.  I realized I’d
skipped the explanation of why I agreed to an Introduction.

“Oh, yeah.  Before I shocked those two, Clay, a Forlorn came
up behind me and started a conversation.  My fish finder still worked then.  There
were more of them in the crowd, Clay.  The one talking to me said he just
wanted a chance to say hi.  He was very persistent so I told them I would see
them at the compound for an official Introduction.  They left right after, but
gave me the impression that if I didn’t show up, they’d come looking for me.  I
got the feeling they’d been pushed too far.”  I watched his face.  “Has it been
the same werewolves trying to see me, or is it always different?”

He didn’t answer, but I didn’t really expect him to.  I
sighed and snaked a hand out from under the blanket to touch his leg.  “It
hurts to see you like this Clay.  If I have to put up with an Introduction to
keep you safe, then that’s what I’ll do.”  My lids refused to cooperate any
longer and drifted shut.

“I’m sorry Clay,” I mumbled sleepily, “I wish I could just get
over my need for freedom and claim you.  We both know you’re the one.  I just
don’t want to lose myself.”  I fell asleep without looking at him to see his
reaction.

*    *    *    *

I woke in a bed and felt disoriented, surrounded by darkness. 
He’d carried me around while I slept again.  “Clay?” I whispered reaching out
to feel the mattress beside me.  Empty.

Sam’s voice came from nearby, “You’re safe, Gabby.  At the
compound.”

“Where’s Clay?” I asked trying to fully wake.

“In the unmated’s wing.  I was surprised he chose to stay
there.  After I kicked him out of here, I thought he’d go to the woods.”

Sam’s words annoyed me.  How dare he kick Clay out?  He had
no right.

Still tired, I could have easily fallen back asleep.  Instead,
I struggled into a sitting position to keep myself awake.

“You don’t know anything about him,” I muttered no longer
caring if I sounded rude.  “Can you turn on a light please?  I can’t see.”

The lamp next to the bed clicked on.

Sam sat in a chair near the bed.  I looked around.  I wasn’t
in the same room I usually occupied, but didn’t bother asking why not.  “What
time is it?”

He glanced at his watch then met my eyes again. “Just after
seven.  You look worse than sick.  Charlotte came in to look at you.  You have
us all worried.  You going to tell me what’s happened to you?”

He looked worn, but I didn’t feel very sympathetic.  Of course,
they were worried.  They’d promised their horde an Introduction.  “Nope, I won’t. 
Did you put out the call?  Did anyone answer?”

He didn’t care for my answer, but let it go.  “Yes, there’s
about fifty or so.  There were more, but we explained that you were ill and
wouldn’t be able to…”

I cut him off.  “Put the call out again.”  Why did he choose
now to care about my wellbeing?  “They have an hour to get here.  Get Clay for
me, please.”  I swung my legs out from the blankets not waiting to see how he
liked my orders and moved to get up.

Sam moved in a blur of speed and pushed me back down, his
hand on my collarbone.  He didn’t have to use much force.  I flopped back into
the pillow easily and glared at him.  He kept his hand on me for a moment,
probably waiting for me to try again.  As if I could move a werewolf.

“I get it, Gabby.  I disappointed you and lost your trust,
but you’re sick.  This isn’t what I asked for when I said you’d be better off
doing Introductions at the compound.”  His voice turned gruff.  “Please,” he
begged me with real concern, “don’t push yourself like this.  You’ll get sicker.”

His expression and pleading tone swayed me enough to take pity
on him.  I patted his cheek sadly and half-smiled.  “Not everything is about
you Sam.  Yes, I’m still mad at you, but this is about Clay and me.  I don’t
want to see him hurt anymore trying to fight other werewolves away from me. 
Now help me up and go get Clay.”  I held out my hands and he reluctantly helped
pull me to my feet.