Hope(less) (31 page)

An arm gently slid under my neck and lifted my head a bit. 
A cool glass pressed to my lips and I slowly sipped the contents, stopping when
the darkness began to pull me down again.

*    *    *    *

I woke several more times, only drinking a bit of water
before passing out again.  Each time the pain in my head decreased a little until,
finally, I woke with more clarity.

“Water,” I whispered into the darkness.

Again, an arm snaked under me, lifting me for a cool drink. 
I drained the cup.  The arm lowered me and settled back onto the pillow.  My
ears rang in the silence.

“How long have I been sleeping?” I asked just to hear
something.

Instead of an answer, I got a tight hug.  “I really hope
you’re Clay,” I whispered breathlessly.

His gruff laugh wrapped around me just as comforting as his
hug.

“Can we turn on a light?”

He moved away from me, and I took the opportunity to sit up
a bit, leaning against the headboard.  A tangle of my hair got in my way.  I
brushed it aside feeling the knots in it.

The bedside lamp clicked on and I squinted against the
light, regretting my request.  My head still ached slightly.  My legs still
felt shaky.  I rubbed a hand over my face as my eyes watered.  Blinking several
times, I finally focused on Clay.  Dressed in the same clothes he’d worn
outside, he stood near the bed looking down at me with a tender, relieved
expression.  Maybe I hadn’t been out that long after all.

“Clay, I think I know what’s going on.  Can you help me up? 
I really need a shower.”  And a toothbrush.

He shook his head.

“Clay now’s not the time to put your foot down.  This is
really important.”  I tried to sit all the way up, but couldn’t, my head
started to throb again.  “Okay.  Maybe you’re right,” I mumbled rubbing my
forehead.  “Can you get me something for my head, please?  It feels like it
going to explode all over the walls.”

Clay leaned over me, tenderly smoothing back my hair and
kissing my forehead before leaving the room.  The guest apartments didn’t have
any type of medicine in them because the werewolves didn’t need them.

I waited until I heard the outside door close then struggled
up again.  My comment about my head was absolutely true.  Therefore, I stayed
sitting for a minute before attempting to swing my legs off the bed.  But headache
or not, I needed to speak to Luke.

Reaching for my bag, I pulled out a change of clothes,
smiling again at Clay’s packing.  Flannel pants and a t-shirt were perfect
after all.

Using the paneled wall for support, I made my way to the small
bathroom.  Sweat beaded my forehead when I finally stepped onto the cold tiled
floor.  Flicking the switch that controlled the light and the fan, I set my
clothes on the toilet tank.

Knowing I had limited time, I turned on the shower letting
it warm.  Spotting my reflection in the mirror, I cringed.  Sunken eyes, hallow
cheeks, and hair that stuck out at varying angles, stared back.  Without a
doubt, Clay really did care about me.  Shaking my head, I brushed my teeth
giving the water an extra minute.

Moving toward the tub when I finished, I started struggling
out of my clothes.  It further consumed my waning energy.  I eyed the high edge
of the tub I still needed to step over and thought back to when Clay had
insisted on helping me.  If I fell, I’d never hear the end of it.

Bracing myself, I successfully stepped over the edge and
tugged the curtain closed.

The hot spray felt great, but I didn’t pause to warm up.  If
stayed too long, I’d lose what little energy I had.  Plus, Clay would return
any minute.  I grabbed the all-in-one hair wash and lathered my natty head.

My arms grew heavy as I rinsed my hair.  I turned off the
water with relief.  Navigating the high edge proved more difficult the second
time, and I clutched at the wall after a near fall.

The fan sucked the built up heat from the room.  Lacking the
steaming heat of the shower, I hurried to dry off before I started to shiver. 
My flagging energy had me sitting down to finish dressing.  The cold helped
hurry the process.

Using the towel to bundle my dirty clothes, I moved to the
door with a smile.  Though it felt like the process took forever, Clay hadn’t
yet returned.  If I could get to my room and dry my hair, I’d be home free.

Pulling the door open, I yelped causing the steady thump in
my head to increase its tempo.

Clay stood just outside the door leaning against the wall
with a glass of water in one hand and two pills outstretched in the other.  I
tried reading his face, but he kept it perfectly blank.  Desperate to relieve
the pain in my head, I released my death grip on the door and took the pills
with the water.

When I finished taking my medicine like a good girl, he refused
to take the glass back so I could clutch the wall.  Instead, he picked me up
again.  My feet had been getting cold anyway.  Holding the empty glass, I
sighed and rested my head against his chest.

When I noticed he headed toward my room, I started to
complain until I saw what he’d done while I showered.  He’d changed the sheets
and remade the bed.  Socks and slippers along with my hairbrush lay on the
quilt, waiting.  He’d known I would go for the shower and had given me privacy
even though he hadn’t wanted me to get out of bed.  Not only that, but he’d
gotten everything ready for when I finished.

I turned to look at him.  He studied me while he held me.  I
kissed his cheek tenderly.  “You are so sweet and I truly appreciate this, but
I’m not going back to bed, Clay.  I need to see Luke.”

The muscles in his jaw and cheeks clenched as he stepped
into the room and carefully set me on the bed.  Then, he left without a
backward glance.

I stared at the empty doorway puzzled until the outer door
slammed hard enough that I heard the wood crack.  “I shouldn’t have said I
needed to see Luke,” I whispered with regret, rubbing my forehead.

Hurrying, I put on my socks and slippers.  I didn’t think
Clay would go too far, but needed to explain.  The movement made my head feel like
it would fall off at any moment.  The pills needed to kick in soon.  I rubbed
my brow again, but it didn’t relieve the pain at all.  This wasn’t a normal
headache.  I just needed to deal with it.  With a sigh, I stood.

I made it to the living room when the door burst in again.

Clay dragged Luke behind him holding the cuff of one pant
leg.  Luke didn’t appear to mind.  He laughed uncontrollably with his hands clutching
the waistband of his pants to keep Clay from pulling them off entirely.  They
crossed the threshold and I saw a crowd watched from the hallway.  I quickly
moved from the couch to the door, to slam it closed.  The poor door would need
some repair work.

Clay dropped Luke’s leg once he reached the middle of the
room and then turned back to the door, which I still stood in front of, without
pausing.

He tried reaching for the knob without meeting my gaze, but
I stopped him with a hand held up.

“Clay, I need you to stay and listen.”

He still didn’t look at me and I knew my simple statement
before had truly hurt him.  Why wouldn’t it?  Had I really ever given him much
hope we had a future together?  Sam showed up at our door just days ago saying
I’d rejected him and needed to do the Introductions again.  Instead of putting
my foot down, we went back.  Granted I had told him I didn’t like to see him
hurt and admitted he we both knew he was the one for me, but we hadn’t talked
about what we’d do about it.

“Please.  Give me a chance.”  I reached forward to hold his
face, forcing him to meet my gaze again.  “I’ve asked so much of you already
and know it’s not fair to ask again, but I am.”  I chose my words carefully
aware of our audience inside the apartment and in the hall.

He sighed, reaching up to cup my face, gently smoothing his
thumb over my cheek.  A tender look crept into his eyes before he abruptly
dropped his hands.  He turned and stepped over Luke, purposely kicking him on
his way to the chair against the wall.

Luke’s laughter started to quiet as I commented, “Most
people wouldn’t laugh while being dragged through the compound like that.”  I
stayed by the door for now.  I didn’t want either of them leaving.  I knew I couldn’t
stop them physically even on my best day, but I’d cry if I had too.

Luke turned toward Clay and said with a grin, “I’ve never
seen anyone hold a transformation like that.  He was man, but the fangs, ears,
fur… it was amazing, and hilarious, mate.”

“Um, isn’t that a sign that he’s in an extreme emotional
state?” I asked Luke as he settled himself on the couch still taunting Clay
with his smirk.  He didn’t appear to hear me.

I walked behind Luke and smacked him hard on the back of the
head.  It really hurt my hand, but got his attention.  “Meaning you should stop
trying to annoy him,” I felt the need to clarify.

Since Clay sat across from Luke, I moved to Clay and
gingerly perched on one of his knees.  He held still for a moment and then
pulled me fully into his lap turning me so we could both see Luke.  Much better
than sitting in my own chair.  Warmer too.

Having successfully gained both their attention, I decided
to get to the point.  I didn’t know what happened after I’d fainted but felt
sure Sam would want to talk to me as soon as he found out I was awake.

“Luke what happened when I touched you?  What did you feel?”

“One hell of a shock.  Listen, did you bring me here for a
reason, or was it just to rub your relationship with him,” he nodded at Clay
behind me, “in my face?”  His usual smile still curved his lips, but his words
conveyed the agitation he tried to hide.

“It’s for a reason.”  I tried leaning forward, but Clay
wrapped his arms loosely around my waist.  I didn’t fight it.  I’d pushed him
enough for the night… or day.  I still didn’t know how long I’d been out.  “Clay
didn’t tell me… How long have I been sleeping?”

“Two days, love.  Everyone’s been pretty worried and the Elders
are waiting to talk to you.”

“I bet,” I muttered.  My eyes drifted to the door and I
focused.  It did no good other than to set my head throbbing again.  “Crap.”  I
held my head, my eyes watering as I tried to breathe through the pain.

Clay grunted in annoyance under me.

Luke’s smile slipped.  “Listen, I think you should still be
in bed, little one.  No disrespect intended, but you don’t look well.”

My hair hung wet and uncombed around me.  I could imagine
what I looked like.  I pressed my cool fingertips to one temple wishing I
hadn’t been so stupid.  Clay started to rub my back soothingly, working his way
up to my neck and then lightly stroking my hair.  It helped.

“I know you’re right, but I can’t go back to sleep yet.  I
need you to tell me what happened.”

Nicole told me that she’d really connected with Randy.  Even
after my pull wore off, they continued to date.  I couldn’t go back to the two
women at the club to find out what they’d experienced.  I needed to get more
information from Luke.

“I don’t know what happened, love.  You shocked me, told me
not to leave, and then fainted.  After that, Clay picked you up and ran inside
with you.  He hasn’t let anyone near you for two days.  We only knew you were
still alive because he didn’t take off into the woods himself.”

Clay’s tight hug when I woke made more sense.  He’d been
worried about me, taking care of me and keeping the Elders away.

I forced myself to stay focused on Luke.

“And after Clay left, what about you?  What did you do?”

Luke began to look uncomfortable.  “Uh, I went out for a bit
and then came back here.”

“The constant attention probably went to your head,” I
muttered.  Luke was too sure of himself for any women to have a chance.

His startled expression told me I was right.

“Did you meet anyone special while I was out?” I asked
glancing at the door again wishing we didn’t have an audience.

I looked back in time to see him shake his head.  Still
unmated.  I’d thought as much but had to be sure.  Normal humans wouldn’t tempt
him and there were too few unmated females at the compound.  I had an idea, but
needed sleep and time to think everything through.

“Luke, there is so much I don’t understand and I really need
your help.”  I nodded toward the door, hoping he’d know I meant with the Elder’s
outside the door.  “I need time to understand what I’m feeling and I need some
time to myself.”  This is why Clay needed to be in here with me.  Anyone
standing outside this room would probably think I felt torn between Clay and
Luke.

Luke looked from me to Clay then back.  He started to ask a
question then hesitated looking at the door again.  Finally, he stood and said,
“I’ll be around.”

I’d hoped he’d understood I wanted his help to us get out of
here, but right after he left, a knock sounded at the door.

Still sitting on Clay’s lap, I turned to him.  He met my
gaze and I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his neck.  He stood and carried
me to the bedroom, covering me before closing the door behind him to answer the
apartment door.

I heard Sam’s voice, but didn’t bother trying to hear what he
said.  They would come in to get me soon enough.  My exhaustion didn’t wait for
them.  I fell asleep again.

*    *    *    *

My stomach growled so loudly it woke me up.  I listened for
a minute before opening my eyes.  Clay had left the lamp on so I could see. 
Turning my head on the pillow, I considered his peaceful visage.  He laid next
to me on top the covers.  Given the steady cadence of his breathing, he still
slept.  Knowing he slept light, I turned to study the ceiling, content to think
and let him get the sleep he needed.

Whatever I had in me, I passed temporarily to the people I
touched.  The attraction that pulled the opposite sex to me passed to the
person, or people, I shocked but only lasted until I recovered.  The drain
intensified with a werewolf.  Or maybe because I’d started out drained, it just
felt worse.