How to Be a Rock Star's Ex-Girlfriend (19 page)

“How do you feel, knowing that there’s a song about you on the radio?”

“Is this your boyfriend? How does he feel?”

“Is there any hope for reconciliation between you and Braden O’Neill?”

I sat in stunned silence as every detail that I had hidden from Scott was brought up. Finally, Scott grabbed y hand and pulled me away. “We have no comment.”

Once we were in the car, he turned to me. “What was that all about? What was that guy talking about? And why are you suddenly a celebrity?” I could tell that he was trying to keep the mood light, but he was really worried.

“Well, I guess I should have told you, but, um,” I paused, not sure what to say. “A guy that I used to date, well, he’s a musician and he’s kind of famous now.” Scott continued to look at me, waiting for the rest of the story.

“The song he wrote, his first big hit? It’s about me.”

Telling Scott about the song and Braden seemed to be the thing that I had been waiting for. Something had finally happened. Scott tried to blow it off, but three days after the incident at lunch, he overheard a message offering me money for any mementoes from our relationship. I tried to assure him that I wasn’t about to cash in on Braden’s fame, but he was more upset with the idea that I had kept things from my past.

The last thing I needed was a guilt trip from him! I was already going crazy on my own. Sophie and Cara were really trying to be supportive, and I was leaning on them a lot, but deep down I knew that they thought I should just move on with Scott. The trouble was that I was being hounded by press and fans more and more. People wanted to know everything, how we met, why we broke up, who I was with now. It brought Braden to mind constantly.

The final straw was the huge photo and article that appeared in
The Star Gazer,
featuring me and a bewildered looking Scott. It didn’t seem to say much, it was more questions, more innuendoes. They talked about Scott and me, would my engagement stop me from reaching out to Braden? Would I leave my small town life to follow Braden around?

Scott was outraged by the whole thing. He couldn’t understand any of it. He hated that we had been thrown into the spotlight, and that everyone was questioning our relationship. The trouble was he was finally seeing that they had reason to.

I tried my best to reassure him, but it all sounded flat to me. Nothing really seemed real anymore. I never expected to be famous or infamous for any reason, let alone be named the cause of someone’s success.

After hearing Scott go on and on, for the forty-seventh time, about how stupid this all was, I had reached my limit.

“I never said yes to you in the first place!” It was out of my mouth before I knew it. “I mean …”

“Oh. That’s how it is.” Scott walked away from me.

“Scott, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out that way. It’s just that no one bothered to listen to me, and then you were so happy. I didn’t know what to do.” I started to cry. I was so confused. “Here, take this.” I held out the ring to him, the ring that I had never wanted.

Scott took it, gave my hand a squeeze. “Bye, Ava.”

And even though it hurt more then I thought it would, I knew it was the best decision that I had made. I had to stop avoiding my issues. I had to face the past.

So, how did one go about contacting a now famous ex? It wasn’t as if I could just pick up the phone and call him! I was sure that I would have to jump through some hoops to even speak to his manager. I was on the edge of being desperate to reach him.

If only Cara had kept in touch with Dylan, I might have had a chance to use that to talk to Braden. I knew from reading every article that I could find about him that he and Dylan were still playing together. The other original band members had all disbursed when they moved to the cities. One of the guys got married and quit. And the other one was offered a gig with another band, and thinking that he had a better chance to make it with them, he took it. I bet he was regretting that now!

The story went that the guys were playing at a ‘battle of the bands’ one weekend, and the prize to the winner was a one time shot at a club in L.A. They won, and went out to California to play that gig, and there happened to be some important people in the audience. For the last song of the night, they decided to play Braden’s new song,
Relaxed Posture.
Everyone loved it, and the rest was history. It was almost too simple to be true, but I guess sometimes it really happens, just like that. Of course, they still had tons of work to do after they were discovered. They moved out to California, and started working on their first record right away. After many months of slaving away in the studio, eating ramen noodles and cold cereal, the album came out. Who knew that the first single would be such a huge hit?

Unfortunately, Cara had broken all ties with Dylan, and that put me right back where I had been, without any sure way to reach Braden.

I did come up with a few wild ideas, like contacting his fan club or going to his website. The worst idea of them all, was selling a story to the tabloids, asking him to call me! Wouldn’t that have caused a commotion?

I tried to push aside my crazy, half baked schemes to win back the love of my life, and focused on the other things that were going on around me. Cara and Martin had finally set a wedding date and she was filled with plans, and flower arrangements, and dresses. I decided to take all my unused energy to help her have the wedding of her dreams.

I’ve always been pretty good at organizing, so I threw myself into getting all those little details just right. I went with Cara to check out locations, to try cake, and to find the best deal on flowers. We took Sophie with us and spent one whole weekend in the cities shopping for dresses. The three of us tried on dress after dress, laughing at the bad ones, and gasping over the pretty ones. In the end, we found just the right dress for Cara, it was straight and fitted, and covered in lace with tiny straps. It was the opposite of Sophie’s dress, a big puffy, princess dress covered in beads and pearls, with long flowing train, but somehow they each looked amazing in their selections. Our bridesmaid dresses were short versions of Cara’s, in sky blue. They were pretty sexy for bridesmaid dresses. Maybe I would meet someone special at this wedding, or maybe not. I had kind of sworn off guys, again.

With only six months to get everything together, all my concentration was focused on Cara and Martin’s upcoming wedding. I really didn’t do much for Sophie’s wedding, since she had her mom to do most of the work. Cara’s family wasn’t really into this sort of thing, her parent’s were divorced and both had gotten remarried. They had too much on their plate with their new lives and families. They were really happy for Cara, but it was a good thing that she had us to help her.

The one topic that everyone managed to steered clear of was Scott and what had happened between us. It was pretty wild that I could have been planning my very own wedding right now! The only time it was mentioned was when Cara told me that she had been waiting to see what our plans were before picking her own

date. She didn’t want them too close together or for one to overshadow the other. Well, there was no way that would happen now.

I knew, from Sophie, that Scott was doing well. He was already dating someone else, the daughter of one of his parents’ friends. How cliché, right? It sounded serious, though, and I’m sure she was perfect for him. I was just glad that I could stop feeling guilty. For all I knew he would use the same engagement ring when he asked her to marry him! It wasn’t like he picked it out with me in mind; he just bought what he thought every girl wanted. Okay, I was sounding a little bitter, but I promise I wasn’t. I just thought he was a bit predictable. One minute he was in love with me, the next he’s running around with a new girl.

I think I was just jealous that it wasn’t that easy for me. I felt like I would never get over Braden, and I was destined to walk the streets alone, like the Incredible Hulk. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t had a ton of chances to find happiness with someone else. I had a long list of ex-boyfriends; each one was great in their own way. They would be perfect for someone out there, they just weren’t for me. And even though I had technically been engaged to Scott, I had still only been in love with one person.

My life revolved around work and Cara’s wedding for the next few months. I had finally hired a new MIT, someone to replace me when I left. I was really hoping for a higher position, maybe as a management trainer or an advisor for several stores with an office at home. The company was so new that positions were opening up left and right. They were still expanding, and I thought it would be great to be a part of it. At first I had thought I would have to move in order to get ahead with The Bookworm, but it was looking like I was going to get my wish without going anywhere.

I met with my boss, one of the owners of the company, about a month before Cara’s big day. I had really been nervous about the meeting, since I wanted, and needed, a new job. Maybe this was the thing that could get my mind off my love life. Maybe I would fill my life with so much work that I couldn’t think about anything else.

When the lunch was over, I was beaming from ear to ear, and I couldn’t wait to share the news with Cara, Sophie, and my family. I had been offered the management advisor position! I would be overseeing several stores in the area, keeping track of sales numbers, reviewing store layouts, ordering seasonal books and regionally relevant items. I was really excited to get started and totally sure that this was just the thing to keep my mind of a certain someone.

I was right for awhile, my new job kept me really busy. I had to adjust to my new schedule, setting my own hours, and getting my home office set up. It was going to take some getting used to, working from my apartment. I never had to get dressed on office days, if I didn’t want to! Cara and Sophie each brought me little gifts to make my new office my own. Cara’s gift was a framed picture of the three of us, at the age of thirteen, and Sophie brought me a pink pen and pencil set with my name on it. It would have been more appropriate for a young girl, but it was perfect for me! My family was so proud of me. My mom must have called me twice a day for a week to see how everything was going and if I needed anything. All I could talk about was how great stuff was, how excited I was! I was totally annoying. Cara and Sophie listened with one ear, while they went on with their normal lives.

They both knew how important this was for me, not just career wise, but it was helping me redirect my thoughts. I swear that I hadn’t really thought about Braden for weeks. I hadn’t tried to concoct any new ways to find him, and I hadn’t asked my best friends for help. I had also refused all dates, all fix ups, anything that even remotely resembled me with a guy, together. I told myself and everyone else that I didn’t have time, but the truth was a whole lot more complicated then that.

I still loved Braden O’Neill. I listened to his music all the time, read every article that came out about him, went through old notes

from him, and wished that I had done things differently. I wished that I had gone with him to the cities. I wished that I hadn’t had such a difficult time getting over his past. I wished I could tell him how I felt. I wished that I knew how he felt, if he had gotten me out of his system by singing about me. I wished that I could get him out of my system.

One night, after a long day of running around to all my stores, I came home in a rotten mood. I don’t know what possessed me, but suddenly I was tearing through all my boxes, looking for old letters, pictures, or anything else from Braden. I read song lyrics, and old notes. I watched a video of the band that Cara had shot for them. God, I missed him so much. I missed the way we were together, the way he smelled, even the way he used to say my name. By the end of my journey through the past, I was laying in a puddle of paper, sobbing.

CHAPTER 19
 

Suddenly, my world was turned upside down once again. I felt like I had finally gotten over the shock of hearing Braden on the radio, and now I was going crazy one more time.

Cara called me on day, out of the blue and asked me to have lunch with her. I really hadn’t had much time with her since her wedding, and I hoped we could look through some pictures from that and their honeymoon. We agreed to meet a few hours later, and I made sure that she would have photos with her. But all thoughts of pictures and honeymoons quickly left my head when Cara filled me in on the real reason why she asked me to meet her.

In her hand, she held two concert tickets. “Do you still want to see Braden?”

I took the tickets from her. They were for two weeks from that weekend, at a small club downtown Minneapolis. “I didn’t know they were playing in the cities.” I hoped that I sounded casual, but I’m not sure how well I pulled that off.

“Well, don’t tell Martin, but last week I got a letter from Dylan.” I must have looked pretty shocked because Cara held up her hand before I could say anything. “I know, I know. I should have told him, but we just got back from our honeymoon, and I didn’t want to get into a fight. So, anyway, the letter had been forwarded to my new address. He just wanted to let me know how things were going, as if we didn’t know! And he also said that they were playing at this club, kind of a thank you gig, for helping them get their start. He even sent me the tickets. Are we going, or what?”

“What are you going to tell Martin?”

“I’ll tell him I’m going to keep you company. Plus, he’s really over the whole Dylan thing. I’ll probably even tell him about the letter. I’m just waiting for the right time.”

“Do you think I should try to talk to him while we’re there?” Just the thought of it was making me so nervous that I could feel myself starting to sweat. “What would I say?”

“Let’s just go and see what happens. Maybe you won’t even have a chance to talk to him. No sense getting crazy about it.”

“You’re right. I’ll just keep calm and wait for the concert. Maybe I’ll talk to him, maybe I won’t.” I truly hoped that I could stay calm. Images of Braden kept interrupting my train of thought. “Thanks, Cara. I have an idea, let’s go down early and do some serious shopping. Sound good?”