How To Set Up An FLR (6 page)

The link below is to one of my favorite checklists. I like it because it not only explains each activity, but it allows you to compare your checklist automatically.

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com

Chapter 7a
: FLR Checklist

The following checklist was designed for those first entering into an FLR. It covers many of the things you are likely to encounter when setting up your agreement. There may be other things, not on this list, that you will want to include in your agreement, but this list should help you get started. It all depends on how kinky you are and how kinky you want to be.

FLR Checklist Ratings

Every item in this list should be rated by each partner using the following scale:

“
0
” = I will NOT do this! No, NEVER! I hate the idea!

“
1
” = I really don't like this, but if you insist, we could try it.

“
2
” = Okay, I suppose we could try this if you really want to.

“
3
” = This sounds like fun. We could try it if you like it.

“
4
” = I would love to do this, what do you say?

“
5
” = Oh, YES! Please, can we do this, can we, can we?

I think you get the idea. If you hate the thought of doing a particular activity and refuse to even try it, that's a “0”. If you really love the thought of doing it, that's a “5”.

FLR Checklist

Age Play –
The submissive partner pretends to be a baby or toddler.

Diapers
: Wearing or using diapers as a part of your play or routine.

High-chair
: An adult size high-chair added for more realism.

Playpen
: Adult sized playpen added for more realism.

In private
: This activity would be kept totally private, in home only.

In semi-public
: If guests are invited to your home, would they witness this activity?

In public
: Would the two of you be seen on the streets doing this?

Anal Activities –
The submissive partner is subjected to items being inserted into his anus.

Anal plugs under clothing
: The submissive wears a plug while doing errands or at work. Used as a reminder of who is in charge.

Anal plug during play
: Using anal plugs at home but not worn out of the house.

Prostate Milking
: A form of releasing semen without the normal ejaculation.

Strap-on Dildos
: Worn by a female to have anal sex with her partner.

Other Dildos
: Flesh-like or phallic-shaped items inserted into the anus.

Vibrators
: Any of a number of vibrating “toys” that can be inserted into the anus.

Behavioral Control –
Ways and means of discipline for misbehavior.

Physical punishment
: Spanking, CBT, nipple clamps, etc.

Disciplinary action
: Standing or kneeling in a corner, doing repetitive tasks, etc.

Verbal control
: Scolding or lecturing for misbehavior.

Verbal humiliation
: Name calling or belittling the submissive for misbehavior.

Additional chores
: Adding more work to his load for failure to complete tasks.

Bi-sexual activity –
The sub is forced to have homosexual relations with another man.

Fantasy only
: Talking, writing or pretending such activity only.

In private
: Forced to engage in this activity but never making it public knowledge.

In semi-public
: At a party as entertainment or other semi-public event.

In Public
: Forced to perform homosexual acts in a public place such as a men's room.

Bondage –
Binding, chaining or otherwise securing the submissive in place.

Wrists cuffed
:
Use of some sort of device to bind wrists to an object or together.

Ankles cuffed
:
Use of some sort of device to bind ankles to an object or together.

Metal cuffs
: Metal cuffs can be rough and cause severe chaffing.

Leather cuffs
: More commonly used than metal and don't cause much chaffing.

Rope
: Easy to use, especially around large body parts such as the chest.

Scarves
: Used to bind wrists and/or ankles with no chaffing.

To a bed
: For teasing or punishment. Face up or down depending on the activity.

To a chair
: Fun for teasing or lecturing or forcing him to watch videos, etc.

To a table
: Kitchen table or other table for ease of access, either flat or bent over.

To a bench
: Such as a coffee table or exercise bench.

Cellophane wrap
: Saran Wrap(R) used to wrap a sub and keep him immobile.

Ace bandage
: Very effect restraint, can be used anywhere except the neck.

Chastity –
A means of preventing sexual activity when away from the Dominant partner.

Penis cage
: Any of a number of plastic or metal devices designed to limit access.

Full belt
: Limits access to genitals and has a locking belt as well.

Short periods
: From a few minutes to a few weeks.

Extended periods
: Usually for several months with occasional removal for cleaning or teasing.

Clips & Clamps –
Often used to inflict pain for punishment or during teasing.

Nipples
: Clothespins (pegs), various types of clips and clamps made for such use.

Scrotum or penis
: Usually done as a part of CBT (cock & ball torture)

Bottom
: Clothespins work well here. They are not as painful as as nipples.

Other
: Can be used on any part of the body where enough skin can be pinched.

CBT -
Cock & Ball Torture

Rope or string
: Often used to bind the penis or balls in uncomfortable positions.

Candle wax
: Dripping of candle wax onto the body (use caution not to burn).

Clips & clamps
: Clothespins or other type of clamp used to cause mild pain.

Electroshock
: Any of a number of devices designed for producing mild shocks.

Needles
(other sharp objects): Can be inserted into skin but often just to poke it and not penetrate the skin.

Collars –
Worn to signify ownership or submissive nature of the sub.

In private
: Only worn at home or during play sessions such as teasing, etc.

Semi-public
: Worn during parties or when other people are invited to participate.

Public
: Worn out of the house, perhaps on a daily basis.

With leash
: Used to lead the sub around or signify ownership in public.

Cross Dressing –
The wearing of clothing normally associated with the opposite sex.

Full outfit
(including make up): Dressed up as a maid, hooker, or just a woman.

Only under clothing
: Usually just under garments, panties, teddies, etc.

Semi-public
(at parties, etc.): Home or dungeon parties or just to serve your friends.

In public
: Dressed up for a night on the town or just everyday shopping.

Cuckolding –
When the Dominant partner has sex with another man/woman with full disclosure to the sub.

Fantasy Only
: No actual cuckolding just stories for teasing etc.

In secret
: The Dominant my have sex secretly then informs the sub later.

In private
: The sub knows about the sex but is not allowed to view or participate.

Watching only
: The sub is allowed to view the sex either while hidden or in the same room.

Full participation
: The sub is allowed to participate as directed by the Dominant.

Cum Drinking –
The consumption of the sub's (or other man's) ejaculate.

From a cup
: The sub is “forced” to drink his own ejaculate from a cup or saucer.

From hand
: Either the sub's own hand or the that of the Dominant's, licking it clean.

Vaginal cleaning
: Licking the Dominant's vaginal area clean after she has had sex.

Cleaning after cuckolding
: Same as above but he is tasting someone else's ejaculate.

Discipline –
Usually a milder form of behavioral correction or modification.

Physical
: Standing in a corner or wearing of nipple clamps, etc.

Verbal
: Being scolded or belittled for misbehavior.

Repetitive tasks
: Folding the same piece of clothing over and over to learn a lesson.

Menial tasks
: Sweeping the floors or polishing silver, etc. for an extended period.

Writing
: Writing apologies or sentences repetitively as a form of discipline.

Eating –
Where will he be eating his meals or other snacks?

While naked
: Sub must be naked to eat all meals, etc.

From dish on floor
: Like a dog, eats out of a bowl or dish placed on the floor.

From the floor
: Food will be tossed on the floor for his consumption.

From her body
: Either from her hand or other body part. (Can be very erotic for both.)

At her feet
: His meals shall be eaten while seated at her feet.

Enemas –
Often used to clean out the bowels before engaging in anal activities.

Self administered
: Sub will be required to give himself an enema whenever necessary.

She administers
: The Dominant will handle the enema equipment for the sub.

Foot Worship –
Treating the Dominant's feet as an object of worship.

Kissing
: Kissing the feet, tops, soles, ankles, etc.

Licking
: Same as above but more use of the tongue.

With shoes/boots
: Doing either of the above while the Dominant is wearing shoes.

Without shoes/boots
: Only with no shoes or boots on.

Foot massaging
: Using the hands to massage her feet.

Tongue cleaning
: Cleaning of feet with the tongue (with or without shoes).

Humiliation –
Any of a number of things designed to cause the sub embarrassment.

Verbal
: Screaming at, belittling, or otherwise putting down the sub.

Physical
: Slapping, crawling, spitting on, used as furniture.

Semi-public
: Any of the above in front of other people in a semi-public setting.

Public
: Any of the above while out in public.

Kneeling –
Often used as a sign of respect. Sometimes required in the presence of the Dominant.

In private only
: Only when no one else will see.

In semi-public
: At private parties etc. when only friends will see.

Always
: Even in public at restaurants etc. when appropriate.

Loaning Out –
Lending the use of the sub to others for a period of time.

While she is present
: Perhaps another woman is invited to help in teasing, etc.

Over night
: Loaned to another woman for teasing, etc. overnight.

Long term
: Loaned out to another woman for more than just one night.

Masturbation –
Often used as means of humiliation of the sub.

Forced masturbation
: Done for the Dominant as a means of teasing or humiliating him.

While alone
: May be ordered to masturbate himself only in private.

Semi-public
: Done in front of others as a means of humiliation.

Nudity –
When is the sub expected to be naked?

Around the house
: Whenever he is at home alone or with the Dominant.

Doing chores
: While cleaning the house or doing the dishes, etc.

Out doors
: At a beach, in the back yard, or any other place that won't get him arrested.

In semi-public
: Any time the Dominant requires even in front of guests.

Orgasm Control –
The Dominant controls when, if and how the sub is allowed to ejaculate.

Ruined Orgasms
: Stopping stimulation before ejaculation can occur. Ejaculate simply oozes out of the penis.

Stifled Orgasms
: Stopping ejaculation by squeezing some part of the penis to prevent ejaculate from squirting out.

Full Orgasms
: The ejaculate is expelled in the normal fashion. Often called “release.”

Role Play –
Acting out of various scenarios for sexual enhancement.

Interrogations
: The sub is often bound and interrogated for some kind of information.

Teacher/student
: The student gets punished for misbehavior.

Cops & robbers
: The robber is tormented until he gives up the location of the loot.

Other
: Any of a large number of possible scenarios to enhance sexual sessions.

Sensory Deprivation –
Some or all of the sub's senses are deprived to enhance the sexual experience.

Blindfolds
: The most common type of deprivation, it enhances the other senses.

Mouth gags
: Used to silence the sub during teasing or painful sessions.

Ear plugs
: Used to block the sub from hearing what the Dominant is doing.

Full hoods
: Used to block eyes, nose, ears or any one at a time.

All at once
: Blocking everything except the sense of touch. Can be very arousing.

Sexual Service –
Serving all the Dominant's sexual needs and desires.

Full body massage
: Self explanatory. But very relaxing for her.

Oral/vaginal
: The sub is required to provide oral sex whenever the Dominant desires.

Oral/anal
: The sub is required to provide oral stimulation of the Dominant's anus.

Vibrators
: Used to help the Dominant reach orgasm.

Masturbation of her
: Using the sub's fingers to stimulate the Dominant to orgasm.

Shaving –
Any part shaved by the Dominant can be very erotic.

Genitals only
: Often required for esthetics and/or ease of access.

All body hair
: Sometimes required for cross dressing.

Head only
: Done as a sign of ownership and the wearing of wigs for cross dressing.

Spanking, Paddling, etc. -
A form of punishment highly recommended by many.

By hand
: This includes over-the-knee (OTK) spankings.

Hairbrush
: Not only an effective paddle but can be laid out in public to instill obedience.

Small Paddle
: Usually light weight for ease of wielding. Can be very effective.

Large Paddle
: Heavier, covers a larger area, but not always as effective as a small one.

Riding crop
: Very effective tool. Can be purchased at equine supply houses for very little.

Cane
: Any of a variety of straight, flexible, materials used for paddling. Can be very severe when not used judiciously.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 8
: Creating an Agreement

Some people think that creating a formal, written agreement is just silly. If it is good enough to settle international disputes and create a lasting peace between nations, I say, “Why not?”

I will go so far as to say that most people think agreements are best when they are verbal. In fact, many of you will just skip this entire chapter. Some of you will read it, then ignore it. But if you are truly serious about setting up any kind of successful relationship, then you would do well to have a formal, written agreement so that both of you know exactly what is expected.

So whether you have (or want to have) a co-op style relationship, a Dictatorship, or something in between, you will have a much better chance of success if you have a formal written agreement (period). Though the majority of couples never enter into a formal agreement, once one partner thinks their rights in the relationship have been violated, it won't be long before a conflict arises. With an agreement, you can avoid any real conflict by either: 1) referring to the agreement or; 2) renegotiating the agreement.