Hypnotized (16 page)

I’d slept like absolute crap last night. Glancing over, I saw Kristy lying awake next to me, too. She had to leave today and I hated it. My best friend going home at a time like this was horrible.

“How are you?” She rolled to her side and propped herself up.

My heart was broken and my mind confused. “As good as can be expected, I guess.”

“I’m really sorry. Last night was like, the worst.”

“I know.” I’d hoped when I woke today, it all would’ve been a nightmare. “I just can’t believe he had Kelly there.”

“Well, don’t jump to conclusions.”

Easier said than done. My mind had gone down a very dark road of no return. “Yeah, well, I need some time. Before last night, I was ready to give him my virginity. Now, well, that’s changed, I think.” I sat up, positioning the pillow behind my back. I really needed to stop and think about things. I’d gotten so wrapped up in Gabe, that I’d forgotten about my future. I wanted him in it. At least, I thought I did. The pain of seeing Kelly at his place, it hurt like nothing I’d experienced before. Growing up sucked. I wasn’t sure I was ready for this.

“You’ll get past this. It was a misunderstanding. It’s not like you enjoyed kissing Evan,” Kristy said.

I sucked in my bottom lip.

“Pais…”

“Kissing Evan was much different than kissing Gabe.”

“How so?”

I took in a deep breath then let it out. “When I kiss Gabe, my world stops. Everything just dissolves away and it’s just us.”

Kristy placed her hand over her heart. “The kiss every girl dreams of.”

I smiled. “Yes. The kiss I thought was only in books and movies. When I’m with Gabe, I always feel, I don’t know, unsure. Not if he likes me, but if it’s real, because it feels like such a fairy tale, if that makes sense.” I hoped so. “When Evan kissed me, it was familiar.”

“Familiar? Have you kissed before?”

Shaking my head, I said, “No, no. I know Evan.” Or I thought.
Since when did he do drugs?
“I grew up with our parents joking we’d get married and all that jumbo. In some ways, I thought when Evan and I turned thirty, if we were both single, then we would.”

“Get to the point. Did you like kissing Evan?”

Yes, no, I don’t know. I really didn’t know how to answer. And that’s where the trouble came in. This was where I was confused. I glanced at Kristy and shrugged.

“Girl, seriously?” she asked.

“It was a good kiss.”

“Did your world stop?”

I shook my head. “No, I was aware of everything going on around me. I knew when my tongue met his and the kiss felt like it went on for an eternity.”

“Huh.” Kristy sighed. “Does a kiss feel like an eternity with Gabe?”

“God, no. They always feel way too short.”

“Why are you so confused? It sounds like Gabe is the guy.”

“Yeah, it does. But I need to figure this thing out with him. I’m so young. There is no way I’ve met the guy I will spend my life with.” The way I felt, I was beginning to think love had entered the equation—the screwed up equation.

“It sounds like you’re trying to decide right now if you want Evan or Gabe.”

How the heck did that happen? “I’m just worried about Evan. He needs help.”

“Yeah, doing coke isn’t cool.”

“No.” How long had he been doing it? Could it explain why Evan just wasn’t Evan anymore? I needed to talk to him, and soon, to see how long this had been going on.

“I’m starving.” Kristy tossed the covers off. “Got anything good to eat?”

“I think I have a box of microwave sausage.”

“That’ll work. Come on. Let’s enjoy our last few hours and put last night on the back burner.”

Sounded good to me. Now, how did I get my mind to stop thinking about it?

***

Kristy left about thirty minutes ago to see her mom before heading back to her place in Florida. Ever since, I’d been pacing the length of my apartment. I felt so torn. Go to Gabe, or go to Evan.

I needed to see Gabe to explain what had happened and find out about Kelly being at his place. But Evan, he might need me. I hated that I had to choose between Gabe and Evan. Life was so much more complicated as an adult.

Drugs. I still couldn’t believe it. That worried me. Even though we’d been at odds lately, Evan was a best friend of mine. Almost like a brother.
A brother I kissed.
I had to be there for him. Friends before boyfriends, Kristy had always said. Though, that was high school.

I grabbed my purse and keys from the side table and left. That solved it. Whatever dilemma Gabe and I had, it could wait.

Just as I started the car, my phone alerted me of a text message.

Can we talk?

Gabe wanted to talk. Of course he did, right after I chose to go to Evan instead of him. God, life was messed up sometimes.

I responded, hating having to tell him no. 
Soon. Can’t right now.

I put the phone on the center counsel and drove toward Evan’s. My phone alerted me again of a text, but I ignored it. I never understood how people actually wrote a message while they drove. I’d tried it a few times. It was impossible for me.

Ten minutes later, I pulled up to the place Evan and Pete shared. A shiver swept down my spine. The last time I was here, bad things happened.

I slid my phone in my back pocket after climbing out of the car and took the pathway toward the front door. I knocked softly and Pete opened it.

“Hey, Paisley. To what do we owe this visit?”

“I wanted to see Evan. Is he here?”

Pete nodded then shook his sandy hair from his eyes. “Yeah, he’s in the back playing Xbox.”

I brushed past him. Damn, this place was a wreck. Cups, trash, and clothes were strewn everywhere. Guess everyone liked to party, but didn’t want to clean it up.

“Excuse the mess.” Pete plopped down on the couch and un-paused whatever he was watching.

I kept walking until I was in the back den. Evan sat there, his blond hair a mess. No shirt and a pair of athletic pants on. He glanced at me. “Hey.”

I sat down on the couch next to him. “Hey. How are you?”

“Tired.” He shut the game off and dropped the controller on the floor. “What brings you by?” His tone sounded irritated.

“To check on you.”

“I’m fine, Pais. You can go on now.”

Was he mad at me? And why? “I’m worried about you.”

“Me? Why? I figured you’d be more worried about fixing things with Gabe.”

I was, and by the way he was acting, maybe I should be at Gabe’s instead of here. “Evan, I saw you do coke. How long has that been going on?”

He shook his head and snorted. “Do you really care?”

“Yes.” Damn it, why couldn’t he see that?

“You know, since college started, you’ve been up Gabe’s ass. You seem to have forgotten everyone in your life.”

“That’s not true.”

“Hell yeah, it is. We used to be close.”

Wait, he was not going to blame our distanced friendship on me. “You’re right. We did. But you hate Gabe and you’ve made it known. This shit about him liking only innocent girls, or whatever, and taking virginities. Well, mines still intact and if I sleep with him, it’s because I want to.” I took a deep breath and continued. “You’ve been weird yourself. We’re friends, Evan, no more, but you act like we should be.”

“I was confused.”

“Apparently.” I crossed my arms and slouched back into the cushion. “Things have really changed between us, but I still care for you. I don’t want to see you go down this road.”

“And what road is that? One different then your prefect little life?” He glared at me.

When had he gotten to be so cocky? I didn’t want to argue with him. “Don’t do drugs. It’s stupid.”

“I know it is, and I’m not doing it all the time. Only when I need some stress relief.”

I could think of ten other ways to relieve stress that was better than
snorting cocaine
. “When’s the last time you went home?”

He looked up, avoiding eye contact. “I’m home now.”

“To your parents.”

He shrugged. “It’s been awhile.”

“I think you should go visit and get a break from this,” I glanced around at the rat hole of a house, “And get your life together. You only get one.”

“My life is just fine, for the last time.”

This was like talking to a brick wall. What was the point? I’d made the wrong choice. I should’ve gone to Gabe and fixed that. Evan was too far gone right now. He didn’t want help. There was nothing I could do. He had to do it on his own, but I’d still be here if he needed me.

“All right. Well, I’m out of here.” I stood.

Evan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Paisley. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“It’s okay.” Though it wasn’t really. It was just a stupid thing we always said to people after they apologized.

“If it makes you feel better, I realize now that we’re just friends. No offense, but that kiss sucked.”

I was postive my mouth had dropped open. I should be offended having my kissing skills insulted, but I understood where Evan was coming from. Kissing him was odd.

He smirked. “Not that you’re a bad kisser. You’ve got skill, but I felt nothing.”

I giggled some, happy to see some of the Evan I knew. “You know, Debbie from our math class had been here.”

He perked up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “She came for you. However, I advise you to stay away from her until you get your shit together.”

Evan groaned and ran his hands through his hair. “I’m fine, for the millionth time. I’m not a druggy.”

Part of me believed him, but the other part didn’t. Using coke to relieve stress wasn’t the way to do it, but Evan had to figure that out on his own. However, if it got worse, I wouldn’t hesitate calling his parents.

“See ya.” I made my way back through the dirty house, and wasn’t sure where things stood between Evan and me. At least I knew he was over the need to date me.

I glanced at Pete who looked up at me and nodded. I returned the gesture and left.

Now, did I go to Gabe, or not?

***

Let’s ride
. I set my phone down after texting Gabe; now to wait.

I glanced out the window positioned behind my couch and watched as the cars drove by. All these people, going somewhere, and I had nowhere to go until later today when I had to work.

A motorcycle stopped behind a blue car. The bike was almost like Gabe’s, but the guy sported leather pants. I snickered, imaging Gabe’s tall, lean body in a pair of shiny leather pants. I then laughed as I paired those pants with a polo shirt and ball cap.

My phone dinged.
Be there in ten.

I had ten minutes to put on the perfect outfit for Gabe and I knew just what to wear. I’d bought it with him in mind when Kristy and I went shopping. In my bedroom, I put on a white jean skirt that would show off my tanned legs, and the pale yellow button-up, sleeveless blouse. When I’d picked out the shirt, I could imagine Gabe unbuttoning each one slowly as he gazed into my eyes.