I Am Not Junco Omnibus: Books Four - Six (16 page)

"What's your problem?"

We're over the mountains now, not the highway that runs up the eastern side of the Front Range, and snow is starting to develop on the peaks. My mind flashes back to my dad and me, on our way home from Hawaii after birthday week.

I miss him.

"You said my dad is up here somewhere?"

Rikan voice softens at this. "Yeah, he's waiting for you. Ya know, he was around that day when you called, Junco. Just not available at the moment. If you'd just given it a few hours he would've called you back."

I shrug. "Tier—" I can't even say the words.

Rikan leans over and takes my hand. "He's an asshole, OK? He'll get over it but if you ask me, you didn't deserve that. He had no right, Junco. None."

I pull away and wipe my eyes. "That's not entirely true, though, Rikan. I did exactly what he said. I chose Gideon, I chose Lucan." I look over at him and he's wincing at the words coming out of my mouth. "I turned away from him over that stupid clone Aren back in the market that day." That stupid clone who might or might not have been the face I saw back in New Peak City. Rikan has nothing to say to this, he just leans back into his own seat and waits for me to go on. But I'm done thinking about Tier. It's time to turn him off now.

"So," I begin, trying to change the subject. "Who did you kill during your hosting to get kicked off Earth when you were a kid?"

He lets out a little laugh and kicks the seat next to me with his booted foot. "I never killed anyone as a kid, Junco. I started a fucking political revolution." His smile grows big and then his eyes are glowing purple again. It's the most spectacular color I've ever seen.

Why can't I have purple eyes?

"What did you do?"

"Mish and I, we were politicos, right? We were sent to the Western Utopia and they have these stupid community homes where they raise the kids. Like clutches, except they don't teach them anything useful and they're not separated out by skill. Hell, they don't even have to be productive to live, they're a lot like parasites." He shrugs at this. "It's a weird place. But anyway, Mish and I were trained in the psychology of politics and government before we left and those kids were just too easy……"

He cracks a small satisfied smile at the memory I suppose. Thinking of the two of them and their adventures on Earth.

"So, when we were eight we organized this union and started this whole network of kiddie terrorists." He stops to laugh for real now and then looks over to me. "I mean, we didn't use bombs or nothing, right? We just fucked with shit. Little shit that made a big impact. Like this one time, Mish and I switched up all the labor assignments, put two teams at the same place, made no teams show at another. Really just screwed with them. And you'd think—I mean, most normal people would think——OK, who's fucking with us, right?"

I nod and my mood begins to lift as he comes alive with this talk of Mish. I didn't know Rikan or Mish that well before I was taken, but they were good guys from what I could tell.

"But these people were like slaves to this stupid schedule, they started losing it. For real, Junco. They have no coping skills out there in the Utopias. Just gone.

"Once we figured this out we just let them have it. We fucked up delivery routes and schedules. First it was labor, but then we realized we could really start something, ya know? So we wrangled together a few more kids who weren't dumb as stumps and then we started fucking with the food deliveries. Making it so that only the upper-class people got their deliveries. I mean, that's just ridiculous anyway. In communism you're all supposed to be equal, but it never ends up that way. You always have an upper class. So anyway, we cut deliveries to the poor sections and gave the uppers one extra delivery. One!"

He stops and guffaws now.

"And that shit sent people insane!" His laugh rings out before he can stop it, then stifles himself as he covers his mouth. "Sorry, Lucan reamed my ass so bad over this shit. I've never been allowed to talk about it, so—" He stops to laugh again and I laugh with him.

"But really, there were riots over one day's missed deliveries. And Mish was like,
Rik, we gotta do the gasoline!
Oh fuck." He eyes are blazing violet now, so bright with the memories they cast shadows in the approaching dusk. "That almost stopped the whole country. And it was only two deliveries, less than one percent of all fuel deliveries in one small area. But we followed the same pattern as before. Took it from the poor people and sent it over to the uppers."

He stops to look over at me and his eyes damp back down to their regular deep blue color. "Junco, class warfare is the easiest way to start shit. You make people jealous and that envy drives them mad. It worked so well, they almost toppled the entire government. All because a couple of kids hacked into three delivery schedules that, even if they weren't corrected that same day, would've had zero effect on the people involved. But they've turned envy into hatred out there. They grow these kids up hating those who have more than them. They breed revolution. And then they wonder why an eight-year-old avian can walk in there and stir shit up with what amounts to a few typos."

He's so right. I even remember reading about this back in cadets. They never figured out who or how, but in the RR we were taught all sorts of psychological tactics and how to use it in war planning. Sometimes it's not the weapons you possess that win the war, but the minds of the people on the opposite side.

"Lucan sent for us before we could take down the comms, but that was next on our list. We got pulled back and sent to clutch again and the rest is history, right? Fuck-up Fledge and the 039."

It bothers me that Lucan sent us all off to fight and prove our worth, like we're so replaceable. And if Rikan is his real son, then what the fuck? "Wasn't Lucan ever worried that you'd die in Fledge, Rikan? I mean, it sounds like that Aves Fledge is pretty intense."

"Oh, it was. I got hurt real bad. But Tier was there and he was ordered to make sure Mish and I lived." He shrugs. "I didn't know that at the time, so I was scared shitless and did my best. But Tier saved us all."

This stops me and I run the questions through my mind. "Did Tier choose you guys, Rikan? Before the Fledge? Like how he sees shit?"

Rikan looks at me sideways. "I can't say for sure."

Huh. He doesn't look like he can't say for sure. In fact he looks like he knows exactly how much Tier knows. "Does he see me?" I watch his face for hints but he's got it locked down, I'll give him that.

"Does he?" Rikan asks.

"He says he doesn't," I say.

Rikan turns away. "Well, then. He doesn't." When he turns back his eyes are glowing purple again. "But I do, Junco."

My heart stops for a beat.

"I see you and I love ya, Snowbird, but do not fucking cross us."

I just stare at him. "Did you see me in Deliverance?"

He nods.

"So you knew I'd kill myself?"

He nods.

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Nope, because to be honest, I knew Tier was gonna live. And maybe this isn't what you want to hear, but I wanted him to live more than I wanted you to be spared that pain. I don't see everyone, which makes it strange that I can see you. And most of the time I stay the hell out of pretty much everything I do see. But I
will
interfere if you cross us."

I watch him for a few moments. "If you see me then you know I won't."

He smiles again. "So far, that's how I see it too, Juncs. I see a path to victory and it goes through you. So I'll keep my mouth shut about what I see. But don't take me for granted. I will not allow Lucan to be dissipated. I'm not interested in his job, no one is, really, he can have that shit. I just want to settle down a little after all this is over and do nothing. Be normal."

"Yeah," I say wistfully, "normal." I grab the center console as we bank left and pull into a tunnel that leads into the mountain and land. "OK, but stay out of it, Rikan. You don't have all the facts."

The sigh that leaves his body is filled with emotion. Maybe hesitation at letting me move forward, or regret for not alerting Lucan, or maybe something else. Who knows? I'm no telepath. But his words make all this conjecture on my part crystal clear. "I see all kinds of bullshit with you ahead, so I'm going back to the Band to sit it out with Amelia because she's terrified and Lucan's not ready to come home yet, but I'm twenty minutes away with the teleportation gift, Snowbird. If I see something I'm not on board with, I'll show back up. You understand?"

He squeezes my hand a little when I hesitate.

"Yeah. OK. I got it."

The driver opens the door on my side of the flier and Rikan gestures me to get out.

"You're leaving now?"

He leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "You'll be fine, Juncs. I swear."

I nod and hold in the tears, then swing my legs out and step onto a landing pad that runs the entire length of a mountain tunnel.

If I look east I see darkness and artificial lights beyond the tunnel, more fliers coming in for a landing, and all sorts of busy people attending to various duties.

If I look west I see the orange reflection of a setting sun mixed in with the haze of a high-altitude snowstorm rolling in over the mountains.

And when I look straight ahead…

I see my dad.

Chapter Seventeen

How to look your father in the eye?

I'm not guilty of killing all those people, he is. But that's not why I fight this internal battle to lift my head up to meet his gaze. Back on our little vacation habitat Tier had a hard time meeting Lucan's gaze too.

But that was about disobedience and the fallout of his decisions.

This is about the last morph.

The pain.

How to look your father in the eye when he knows someone brutalized your body for two years?

When I finally look up I can tell we're on the same battlefield. He reaches out and pulls me in. Tight. He leads me away and I stifle down all the hurt feelings, all the days and nights my hair swayed in front of my eyes as Inanna changed me. Made me into something I can't even comprehend.

I try to keep my head down as we walk but I can't because people are whispering. They stop, move aside to let us through, and then continue their hushed talking. I look up at my dad and his chin is high, his expression hard and commanding, his step thunderous in the hallway, and his eyes invisible under the sunglasses that he has no use for inside a mountain city.

But I feel his chest move in and out as he holds it in as well.

"I missed you, Dad."

The laugh comes out with a sniffle. "Give me just a minute here, Junco. OK?"

I nod into his chest.

The next time I look up I see Gideon and I can't hold it in anymore. He puts a hand on my shoulder and I feel ashamed for taking off like I did. "I'm sorry, Gid. I'm sorry, OK?" I wipe my eyes and drag my hand across my nose.

He waits for me to finish and then nods. "You're so lucky I love you. And I'm gonna kill that Cora bitch for all the shit she's stirred up, don't you worry about that."

I wipe my nose again. "She's lying, anyway. I never said that stuff. I said I was trying to
prevent
billions of people from being killed."

My dad tugs on my arm a little and directs me to an elevator. We wait for his biometrics to clear and then enter a large cargo lift, all three of us retreating to lean against the back wall so we don't have to hold ourselves up.

We descend quickly and then exit the shaft and enter the old marketplace tunnel.

It's empty now except for some bits of trash that blow around in the wind created by the massive exhaust fans hanging off the ceiling.

"Everyone's gone up top," my dad says. "So you guys will have the place to yourself. I gotta get back to command, they'll have questions." He removes his sunglasses to reveal his bloodshot eyes. "Stay as long as you need to, but don't waste any time, OK?"

I'm about to ask what the hell he's talking about when Sera blips in on my vision screen.
Just go along, Junco. Nod your head.

I do. I nod.