If Ever I Fall (7 page)

Gavin’s hands come up to my face when his thumbs brush the tears away.

“I think I should stay home.” The words barely leave my throat before he shakes his head.

“No. We are going to the party and we are going to have fun. I messed this up, Laney.” Sucking in a breath as his thumbs rub my cheeks, I nod slowly.

I can’t believe that just happened. I swore I wouldn’t let it happen.

                                
 
Gavin

I feel like a complete fucking fool. I should have never kissed her. I ruined everything between us. I have been having the best time with her and I just fucked that to hell.

We rode to the party in complete silence. The only noise in the car was the static of the radio.

Parking outside the club I feel like I need to say something to her but I don’t know what. 

Climbing out of the car I walk around and open her door extending my hand to help her out. To my surprise she takes it with a smile.

“Are you going to hop around in that?” I nod toward her costume making her smile again.

“It is what Tigger’s do.” Her soft giggle warms me. It makes feel a sense of peace that she seems to be calmer now.

“Look, Laney.” I start to speak but she shakes her head.

“Let’s not do it. Let’s forget what happened. You’re right; we are going to have fun tonight.” Her smile lights up the dark night like the moon in the sky. I don’t know how to get past that.

I nod my head as I lead her towards the door. The club is packed and there are people everywhere but Brad knows the owners so we are on the list to get in.

“Gavin Brady.” I announce my name to the bouncer before he waves us through.

“Do you know everyone?”  Laney smiles up at me as I usher her through the doors.

“No, Brad does though.” Laney nods her head as we get inside. She spots Steph right away and takes off running towards her. Her little tail she’s wearing swings around behind her.

“What’s going on? Why are you looking at her like that?” Brad’s hand lands on my shoulder as I turn to look at him. This is a fucking mess.

“Nothing’s going on. Are we still playing tonight?” Shaking the thoughts of that kiss from my head, I try to focus on the show.

“Yeah, you guys are up in an hour. Are you sure you’re ok?” Shaking my head, I need to clear my mind. Maybe Laney isn’t into me like that.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m going to find Sean so we can warm up a little.” Walking away from Brad, my heart keeps skipping in my chest. I can’t shake that kiss no matter how hard I try.

“Hey you!” Jenna steps up in front of me, her hands roaming my chest. I haven’t seen her as much as usual since Laney moved in. I guess I’ve been avoiding her slightly.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” I smile a little as I look around for Sean. Jenna’s lips touch my neck and there is nothing. No jolt, no zap. What the hell is going on with me?

“You haven’t talked to me much either. I miss you.” Brushing her to the side my eyes lock with Laney’s.  The slight flush in her cheeks rips me apart. Is she jealous? No, she wouldn’t be.

I try to pull my gaze away from her but I can’t. There’s an invisible hold there that I can’t seem to break away from.

“You want to warm up?” Sean finds me before I find him.

“Yeah, let’s do this.”  I follow Sean towards the back finally breaking the stare down the two of us were having to make my way to the backstage area.

“What’s up with you?” Sean asks as I pick up my guitar and tune it. Am I that transparent?

“Nothing. Why the fuck does everyone keep asking me that?” Shaking my head, I guess I am a little edgy.

“Fuck man. What the hell is your problem?” Sean watches me as David walks up. I forgot this prick was coming to play tonight too.

“You ready for your first show?” David nods his head but I don’t know if he’s ready for this. I didn’t really like the way he sounded with the band but everyone else seemed to like it. I just don’t think he flows with the rest of us.

“Let’s get this shit going.” I watch as the guys move the stuff around on stage. Jessie, the drummer nods over at me before taking his place. He’s an odd guy if you ask me but we’ve known him for years.

“How’s the roommate working out?” David tries to make small talk but there is something about him that pisses me off. He pushes my damn buttons and I don’t like it.

“It’s perfect.” Brushing him off is something he should be used to by now.

“Nice. She didn’t look to happy when she got here.” See, this is what I mean. He pushes me until I want to snap his little scrawny neck.

“Who gives a shit what you think?” Stomping past him I head up the side stage.  Something is going to have to give around here before I fucking explode.

The stage lights up and Jessie starts to bang away on the drums giving us our cue to step out.

As soon as I take the stage my eyes find hers like they are only meant for me. I need to get this shit right in my head and soon.

Sean starts to sing as I strum my guitar. The girls always go crazy when we start to sing. Sean usually picks up the first few songs but then I take over for the remainder.

I have the deeper voice of the two of us and that sets off some great tones.

I notice David smiling an awful lot over Laney’s way and something in me wants to snap. I don’t know what it is but I can for damn sure feel it bending.

The show keeps going and I can’t pull my fucking eyes away from her. Thank god she doesn’t notice it.

I keep an eye on David just the same as I keep an eye on Laney. I don’t want shit to pop off but if it does, so be it.

The show slowly comes to an end and my nerves are on edge. I usually don’t drink a whole lot but tonight I’m throwing caution to the wind and getting shit faced drunk.

                               
 
Laney

Gavin is sweaty and his hair sticks to his face as he walks off the stage. I heard them practice at the studio but I wasn’t prepared for this at all. He sounded like a sex god up there.

All the girls were practically drooling on themselves just watching the way he worked the crowd, hell I was mesmerized by him.

“He was awesome!” A tall leggy blonde next to me squeals to her friend. I want to turn around and let them know I’m his roommate but that would make me sound desperate.

“Did you like the show?” Sean hollers at me over the noise as he steps closer to the bar.

“I loved it! I had no idea you guys would sound so good on stage.” Sean’s eyes light up when I tell him that. Clearly they have the talent to make it bigger than they are; I just wonder why they don’t go for it.

“Thanks! I’m glad you came.” Sean leans in closer to me this time making the girls behind me swoon a little.

“Is everything ok at the house?” His voice lowers the closer he gets to me.

“Yeah, why?” A little confused by what he means, I look over at his face.

“Gavin just seems off. He’s heated with everyone tonight. I was just making sure he wasn’t being an ass at home.” Shrugging, I look over at Gavin. Girls flock around him rubbing all over his sweaty body making anger boil inside of me.

“Nope. He’s been great.” I have to force my eyes away from him. I can’t do this with him. I have nowhere else to go for one and I know the outcome of these things anyway.

Maybe he’s different. I find my brain wandering away from me for a minute when I have to mentally yank it back. You thought the same thing about Josh.

“I’m going to talk to David. You guys really rocked it!” Surprisingly Sean leans in and kisses my cheek before wrapping his arm around his fiancé. I met her a few times at practice and she always seems nice.

Spinning around, I head out towards the dance floor where a small pack of girls surround David. I know he loves the attention he’s getting but I wanted to tell him he was awesome too.

“Laney!” He grabs my arm as soon as he sees me pulling me into a hug.

“First, I love this costume. It suits you.” He smiles as I giggle slightly.

“I knew at least one person had to like it. Hey you did really well up there.” David smiles before leaning in closer to me.

“I don’t think your boyfriend likes me much.” David nods his head behind me. I turn to see what he’s talking about when my eyes catch Gavin’s. My heart slams into my ribs as I watch the fire burn in his eyes. That fire wasn’t directed at me either, it was all on David.

Turning back around, I lean closer to talk to him.

“He’s not my boyfriend. Just ignore him. Want to dance?” David nods his head before he pulls me further onto the dance floor.

His hands wrap around my waist as we move to the music. In this second there is nothing else around me, nothing bothering me and nothing to hold me back but myself.

Laying my head on his chest I let the rest of the world slip away. There are times when I want to crawl inside myself and hide for a while and this is one of them.

“Are you sure he isn’t your boyfriend?” David leans down to talk where I can hear him making me laugh a little.

“I’m sure, why?” Wondering why he keeps asking me that, I feel hands on my waist yanking me back.

“That’s why.” The slight smile pisses me off. David turns and walks away and frankly I’m a little pissed.

I spin around to face Gavin, his features softened now.

“What are you doing?” Looking into his eyes, I can see he’s drunk.

Gavin swallows hard as he watches me. His mouth moves but nothing comes out. It’s like he’s trying to piece together the right words but he doesn’t know how.

“I want to dance with you, Tigger.” The alcohol on his breath stings my nose as he waits for me to agree, which I do.

His hands wrap around my waist making me feel safe. My heart shivers in my chest at the feelings he gives me when I’m this close to him.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” Shaking my head, I lay it on his chest and get lost in his scent. He makes me feel calm and collected when I’ve never felt like that before. The feelings that shoot through me confuse the hell out of me and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with them. Bottle them up? I can’t let them out that would ruin everything.

Listening to his heart beat in his chest is hypnotizing. The thuds come faster in my ear as we dance and he grips me tighter.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re doing to me, Laney. I swore I wouldn’t get involved with you and that seems to be the thing that slaps me in the face every time I’m near you.”  His words are spoken softly into my hair, so softly that I don’t think I was meant to hear them, so I don’t respond. I wouldn’t know what to say to that anyway.

The music keeps playing and I stay cocooned in his embrace. His arms around me just feel so right when I know it’s all wrong.

Times like this are when I hate my family. I hate what they did and I hate what they took away from me too. They stole bits and pieces of me and I still let them have that power over me.

I can’t change what happened to me and I can’t take the scars away but I still let it hold me in place.

“I don’t know your secrets but I won’t give up.” Again those words weren’t meant for me to hear.

“Can I cut in?” Brad’s voice makes me open my eyes and pull out of the safe haven I found in Gavin’s arms as he smiles brightly.

“Of course.” He pulls me away from Gavin who reluctantly let go of me before he walked over to Steph. I watch the two of them smile and talk while Brad leads me into a dance.

“You look crazy as usual.” Slapping at him I know he’s playing with me.

“How’s everything?” I smile up at him. I’m so glad that Steph found her a good man like Brad. No matter what happens in this crazy world, he stays by her side.

“I was going to ask you the same thing. Why do you two look like you’re dating?” Brad doesn’t seem too thrilled with that idea anyways.