In Too Deep (11 page)

Ethan knew his big brother well. The worry was for Seth, not the mare. Rafe looked between Ethan and Seth with contentment on his face. Worried contentment, but contentment just the same.

They were together.

Three brothers against the world.

It was nice, even if Seth was a little bit crazy and Ethan couldn't get any respect.

Seth went in the stall. “Is she getting ready to birth her foal?”

Ethan opened his mouth to stop him, then let him go. Seth had always been good with horses and Rafe could handle it if Seth started acting up.

“Yep,” Rafe said, going back to petting the young mother. Seth went to the mare's head and began scratching her between the ears. She seemed to relax under his touch.

Ethan, with nothing to do, looked around the barn Rafe had as good as rebuilt. Nothing was the way Ethan remembered it. “Did you do all this work on the barn and the house after Pa died, Rafe?”

Rafe gave Ethan's black mare a couple of caressing pats on her shoulder, then looked up at Ethan. “I started it shortly after you two took off. Pa got so he was gone a lot.”

“Running traplines?” Ethan asked.

“Yep, but instead of being gone a week at a time, he started being gone more than he was home. So I ran the ranch to suit myself. Pa always complained when he saw me fussing with things he thought of as nonsense, but finally he quit jabbing at me about it. If he didn't see how much time I wasted, he let it go.”

“Your pa died while he was back here one spring,” Steele said. “He came out of the mountains, gone all winter.”

“We figured he'd gotten snowed in way up in the hills somewhere those last few years of his life,” Rafe said. “He came in with a winter's worth of furs packed on three old mules. He got here, burning up with fever. He died fast.”

Ethan didn't want to think about their father. Pa had as good as quit on the family long before Ma had died, and he'd been a grouchy old cuss when he was around.

“So I sold the furs and the mules and ended up with a nice pile of money. I saved it and I reckon a third should go to each of you. A third of the ranch, too.” Rafe looked at Seth. “To make that good, I'll help you build a cabin on the land you homesteaded and buy up a few more water holes in your name and we'll split the cattle. That sound fair to you?”

“I'm gonna get my own cabin?” Seth asked. He looked doubtful. “I like Audra's cooking real fine. I want to live here. Or maybe with you, Rafe. I like having a woman around the place.” Then he froze, his hands motionless on the mare's neck. He got a strange expression on his face, as if he was looking at something that wasn't there.

“What's the matter, Seth?” Ethan hoped whatever it was didn't include any waking nightmares. His horse wouldn't appreciate it.

Seth shook his head. “Strange.”

“What?” Rafe asked. “What's strange?”

“I just had a strange notion about a woman.”

“About Audra or Julia?” Ethan exchanged a glance with Rafe.

“No. Some other woman. I think . . .” Seth shook his head again. “Nope, she's gone.”

“Gone from your head or gone from your life?”

“I think . . . I don't know. I just pictured her in my head for a minute. I must've seen her, or maybe I spent some time in the hospital after I got out of Andersonville. She must've nursed me. I think that's it.” Seth turned away from whatever had distracted him and went back to petting the laboring thoroughbred.

Ethan turned back to Rafe. “What about the fixing you did to the house? Pa didn't complain about all the work you did on the porch, all those spindles?”

“Nope. Not much anyway. And what he did say didn't interest me much. I put new cupboards in the kitchen and I did the stairway railings and put the carved molding along the ceiling and mopboards along the floors. He didn't even seem to notice. I think he thought of the place as my home then. I reckoned he had a cabin up in the mountains that suited him better than the ranch. Now I'm doing all that in my own house, and I can do it for yours too, Seth, if you want.”

Ethan remembered Rafe as always whittling or fussing with wood. He had a knack for building and carving, for making things pretty. Pa had said it was a waste of time. Ethan recalled Pa's mocking words when Rafe had carved scrollwork into the back of one of their kitchen chairs. After that, Rafe had left things around the homeplace to suit Pa and started carving miniature animals and people. He'd made a tiny ranch yard with corrals and buildings.

Ethan remembered the whittled toys well. A barn and a house with a porch. Corrals and cows and horses. Three brothers living in the house. Ethan couldn't remember Rafe ever making a ma and pa, though. Ethan hadn't thought of that until right now.

That little ranch Rafe had carved looked a lot like the Kincaid Ranch did now. Rafe had been making toys back then, but he'd been planning too, whether he knew it or not.

When Maggie got older, Ethan would hunt those toys up for her to play with. Ethan wondered if Rafe would want them for his own children.

Or maybe he'd make another set. Maybe his toy-whittling days were over. Instead, the ranch, Ethan's ranch, had Rafe's mark all over it. One more thing that kept Rafe in charge of this place.

Ethan was real tired of being a poor example compared to Rafe.

“Dinner!” Audra's pretty voice called. Then she used a metal bar to clang the three sides of an iron triangle. From Ethan's earliest memory, that triangle had been hanging on the back door of the house, calling his family to mealtime.

Ethan smiled at the sound of his wife's voice, as musical as the ringing triangle. He didn't mind Rafe's work so much, knowing it made a nice home for Audra.

“We can leave the mare for a while,” Rafe said. “Let's go eat.”

Rafe's eyes shifted to Ethan as he left the stall a few steps ahead of Seth. He whispered, “We didn't exactly come for a visit.”

Ethan arched a brow.

“Julia wants Seth.” Rafe glanced behind him and moved a bit faster so they could talk without Seth hearing. Seth was slow in leaving the mare, so they had a minute to themselves.

“No, she doesn't.” Ethan thought she'd made that really plain.

“She wants him to help her explore the cavern.”

“Rafe!” Ethan stopped walking. He saw Seth move faster to catch up.

A pained expression flashed on Rafe's face. “I promised her.”

The smile on Ethan's face got a lot bigger as he tried to cover up how he hated that cavern. The smile felt phony, but lucky for him, Rafe was worried about Seth, so maybe he didn't notice.

Audra chose that moment to swing the kitchen door open and yell again, “Dinner's on, Ethan.”

The three brothers went inside. To cover how unhappy he was about the cavern, Ethan slid his arm around Julia's shoulders and said, “Did you know your ma was such a fine cook?”

“My ma?” Julia stared at him, her brows lowered in confusion. Then she smiled. “Oh, right. Audra's still my ma. I keep forgetting. You know, she's my sister now, too.”

Ethan laughed.

Rafe, on Julia's other side, shoved Ethan's arm off her shoulder. “Go hang on to your own wife. Leave mine alone.”

He pulled Julia close with rough affection. She smiled up at him in a way that made Ethan's heart ache. Rafe and Julia really were in love.

That was something he lacked, and he liked lacking it. Love always ended up hurting more than it was worth.

Until he saw the affection pass between his brother and his sister-in-law. Then maybe he wanted it a little. He smiled bigger. “Hey, you know what that means, Julia?”

“No, what?” Julia sounded suspicious of his high spirits.

“Since I'm your ma's husband, that must mean I'm your father.” Ethan grinned.

At Julia's flabbergasted look, he smirked. Audra snickered. Seth laughed out loud.

“And,” Rafe added, “Audra's babies are my sisters-in-law and my nieces, and if they're my sisters, then they're your sisters, too, right?”

“So I'm my daughter's brother?” Ethan shrugged, his smile a bit forced, mainly because he was still thinking about that blasted cavern. “Sounds about right.”

“And if Julia's married to the children's father's brother, then, Julia, you're their aunt too, and I'm their uncle.” Rafe frowned in mock concentration as if he was trying to work it out. Rafe's teasing smile was different—easy, relaxed.

All in all, his brother had the look of a happy man, despite his contrary wife. Or rather,
because
of her.

Which reminded Ethan that he had a contrary wife of his own. Which drew his eyes to the shining smile on Audra's lips. She had a steaming pot in her hands.

Julia noticed at the same moment.

“Audra, you shouldn't be lifting that heavy pot!” Julia went straight to being in charge. She wrestled Audra for the pot of boiling potatoes. Ethan saw the flash of irritation in Audra's eyes, but Audra let Julia win.

Seth picked up Maggie where she stood beside a chair. He sat down at the table, on the side that was closest to the wall. With Maggie on his lap, he began feeding her bits of bread.

“Let me take her, Seth. Thank you for watching out for her.” Audra let go of the pot, then bustled around, setting a thick book under Maggie's diapered bottom at the corner, with a chair between her and Seth. She wrapped a towel around the little girl's belly, threaded through the back of the chair, tied tight to keep her from falling.

While Ethan washed up, he noticed Lily lying in the drawer he'd brought downstairs. He was working on a cradle, but for now, the drawer, padded with a blanket, was more than big enough.

“Seth, will you come home with us for the day and help me—?”

“Us.” Rafe cut Julia off. “Help
us
.”

“Yes, help us explore the cavern some more.” Julia gave Rafe a disgruntled look. “I'm not planning to leave you behind, Rafe.”

“Seth might be.”

“Sure, I'll come with you.” Seth's eyes took on a wild look of joy. Ethan didn't like it.

“No, he can't go.” Audra tapped a metal ladle on the side of the potato pot she'd just emptied into a bowl. Her sharp voice turned everyone in the room to look at her.

Ethan wondered at her tone. She spoke her mind with him, but when it came to Julia, and Rafe for that matter, Audra mostly just said “yes” and “I'm sorry.”

“I think Seth should stay with us a while longer,” Audra said. She blushed and turned her attention to setting the bowl on the table.

“I need him, Audra,” Julia said. “He knows that cavern better than any man alive. I mean, better than any man.”

What did she mean by changing from the words “any man alive” to “any man”? Ethan wondered that as he moved close to sit between Seth and Maggie to watch her grabbing fingers. Audra hadn't needed to tell him. He was learning.

“I don't want him down there. At least not yet.” Audra's chin had a stubborn set to it, but she was talking straight at the platter of tender roast beef as she placed it on the table. She added a thick gravy and a bowl of carrots she'd dug up from their garden. Rafe's men had tended the garden while Rafe had been busy getting himself married, and now Ethan and his family were eating like kings.

“Audra, this isn't your decision—it's Seth's.” The last of the food was served and Julia sat next to Rafe, who was at the head of the table.

Audra looked at Seth, her eyes wide with regret. “I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound that way.”

Seth was busy eating, so he didn't say anything. He acted like he was ignoring the whole conversation and he probably was. In the end he'd do as he wished. And Ethan knew well that Seth usually wished to go into the cavern.

Ethan scooped up some of the perfectly mashed potatoes and did his own tapping to get the food on a tin plate. He blew on the steaming potatoes and touched them with his fingers. When he was satisfied they weren't too hot, he spooned them into Maggie's wide open mouth.

He'd like to stuff a spoonful of something in Julia's mouth, so Audra would be happy and Seth would be kept aboveground.

“Seth needs to face that cavern.” Julia had Lily in her lap, bouncing her with one impatiently tapping toe.

“Julia, please. It's too soon.” Audra finally sat down to eat her own meal, with Maggie between her and Ethan, but she kept that unusually stubborn look on her face.

Ethan knew she was trying to prove she could be strong. She didn't seem to have that much of a problem standing up to him, but he admitted that Julia was quite a test of a sturdy backbone.

“He needs to learn to handle his fears if he's ever going to stop having nightmares.” Julia seemed to be bouncing Lily faster all the time.

“It's probably not good for her to be bounced quite that hard when she's so young.” Ethan relieved his sister and daughter, Julia, of his daughter and sister, Lily.

“The cavern might make the nightmares worse.” Audra bit her lip, and Ethan found himself watching her every move. Which, considering he was feeding Maggie and holding Lily, was something to be proud of.

“I don't mind going.” Seth was still shoveling roast beef into his mouth.

“You don't know that, Audra.” Julia ignored Seth. And why not? It was Audra who needed convincing. “And I need him. But I wouldn't ask him to go if I thought for one minute he'd be harmed by it.”

“He's not going.” Audra finished eating, then turned her attention to Maggie and wiped her little chin. Audra's words were stern, yet her touch was gentle.

“I kinda miss the cave.” Seth might as well have been talking to himself.

“He is too going.” Julia cut the tender beef with way more energy than was called for.

Audra untied Maggie's little towel and stood her on the floor. Maggie toddled to Ethan with her hands outstretched. She bounced, her little knees bending as she reached for him, squealing to be picked up.