Indulgence (359 page)

She sighed and rose to her feet, opening one of the drawers
on the dressing table to pull out a comb. “Turn around,” she said, waiting next
to the stool for me to move.

I hesitated, not entirely ready for anyone to be touching my
tender scalp, but cooperating was the best way to get information, so I swung
my legs over to the other side and faced the mirror. As soon as I saw my
reflection, I glanced away. I didn’t need a constant reminder.

Alley carefully dragged the comb through my hair, loosening
the tangles and smoothing it down. “I came from a good home,” she said, “I got
decent grades, played sports. When I was sixteen, I started seeing this guy. He
was eighteen, and I thought he was the coolest and greatest guy in the world.”

She laid the comb down and started a braid at the side of my
hair, weaving it to the back of my neck as she slowly relayed her story. “He
gave me everything I wanted, and then he convinced me to entertain him and some
of his friends. I passed out at the end of the night. I woke up to find that
he’d sold me.”

I closed my eyes, feeling sick to my stomach. Alley and I
weren’t so different, and after everything I’d said—or worse, everything I
thought—I wasn’t sure I could face her again. Even though she hadn’t heard the
things I thought, it didn’t make me feel any less guilty for thinking that she
must’ve been weak or pathetic for letting herself end up here and finding a way
to enjoy the situation.

As she started a braid on the other side of my head, she
continued. “Most of us have good lives here, we came from much worse. Even St.
Louis was an improvement over being beaten and starved every day. We have food,
a comfortable place to live, regular medical care. I’ve seen plenty of girls
come in broken, and others come in fighting and swearing that they’ll never
give in.”

“But you recommend I just give up?”

“It’s not giving up. It’s accepting your current
circumstances. I rebelled once, but I realized that there’s nothing that I want
that I can’t get here.”

“Love? A real relationship? A family?” I finally met her
gaze in the mirror, searching for signs that she wanted more.

Her mouth cocked up in a half smile. “I wanted those things
once. I also thought I had the man of my dreams once.” She shrugged, “Now I
just think it’s overrated. I’d rather have a guy who keeps me safe than a guy
who offers me the stars.”

“And you’re fine with the sex and violence.”

“We don’t really see that much violence. Ross has some
warped tendencies, but he doesn’t just go around beating anyone.” She tucked
the braids around in a bun at the side and secured it with a few bobby pins.
“Sometimes things get out of hand, but the guards usually squash it pretty
quickly. I’ve never seen one of the girls get seriously hurt.”

“I almost did.”

“But Kirk stopped it, and he’d stop it again. Give him a
chance.” Alley pleaded as if she’d known him his entire life and he was just
some guy hitting on me in a bar.

This was completely normal to her and yet I couldn’t wrap my
brain around the fucked-up-ness of it all. “I don’t want to be here.”

“Sweetie,” she sat down next to me and took my hands.

I refused to meet her eyes. “I know it could be worse and I
know I don’t have a choice in the matter and I should look at the bright side,
but I’m pissed. I’m not a sex toy to be passed around.”

“Then convince Kirk to keep you.”

I pulled away and stood up needing to move, to pace until
the anger dissipated from my system. “I’d like to choose my own partners,
thanks.”

“Then, convince him to give you up. Which, with your current
attitude, you could easily do.”

“That would put me at the mercy of the masses.” I waved my
hands in the air then collapsed back down on the stool.

“Yep,” she shrugged slapping her hands against her thighs.
“You’re busy concentrating on the choices you don’t have. If you want to keep
doing that, no one can stop you.”

“What are my chances of getting out of here?”

She stared at me and slowly shook her head. “Even if you
somehow managed to get off the grounds—”

“The tracking device,” I rolled my eyes and shook the cuffs
on my wrists. “So, I have to get rid of these damn things first.”

“Short of chopping off your hands and head….”

Still feeling restless, I started to slide off the bench
again, but she grabbed my arm. “You have to face this.”

“Is that what they told you when you were sold?”

“No, they beat the message into me. If you think you’re in
pain now, with the bruises and scratches Gabe and his gang inflicted,” she
grimaced, “that’s nothing. If you feel like fighting and digging in your heels,
you’ll learn that real quickly. Even these guys will get sick of your disdain
and rebellion.”

“I’ve slept with three guys in my entire life. I was
nineteen when I lost my virginity and I haven’t exactly been adventurous. But
now, I’m supposed to put out for every guy who comes in here and tells me to.”

She pursed her lips, “Not if you get Kirk to take a liking
to you.”

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. It was always back
to that. “Even then….”

“It doesn’t have to be that bad. Kirk doesn’t pay that much
attention to us, so while you have his attention, keep it.”

“He doesn’t really want me. All he does most of the time is
scowl at me, or ignore me entirely.”

“But he does want to protect you. That’s a good place to
start.”

“Fine,” I exhaled and rubbed my sweaty palms against the
shirt. I couldn’t convince myself to accept it, but she had a point. “Tell me
what I have to do.”

“Lose the attitude.”

“Yeah, I keep getting that.”

She put her finger over my lips and raised her eyebrows.
“And you’re not doing so well at it. Maybe we should start with something
easier.”

Trapping me back at her vanity, she pulled out a makeup case
and began simultaneously teaching me all about makeup and all of the rules I
needed to know to survive as Kirk’s “pet.”

Never make eye contact—well, I’d shot that one to hell at
least half a dozen times.

Keep your hands folded in your lap.

Everyone who isn’t Kirk and Ross should be addressed as
“Sir.” The hardest part to swallow would be addressing Ross as “Master” as
well, since apparently his rank negated all other claims when he was present.

The most important rule was to do whatever Kirk said.

I wasn’t even any good at doing that at work or school. I
had a habit of challenging even the smallest things someone
told
me to
do. Ask me, and I consider it. Dictate, and I rebel.

By the time she finished, I could only remember half of what
she’d told me about the makeup… or the rules.

My brain had decided to go into standby mode until things
made sense again.

“What do you think?” Alley asked, stepping away so I could
look in the mirror.

“Um—” I blinked not sure what to say. I half expected to
look ready to walk the streets, but instead, I had more of a formal date look.
Soft and not at all over the top.

“You hate it?”

“No,” I shook my head, finally tearing my eyes away from the
reflection. “It looks great. I’ve never quite seen myself look like this.”

“You’ll probably have to talk Kirk into ordering you some
stuff.”

“You make that sound easy.”

“After tonight…,” she winked.

Tonight
. I wasn’t ready.

“Come on, I think I have something you can wear.”

“Wear? But… Miles… won’t he—” I didn’t know why I was
objecting, I knew it was Kirk and Miles who put her up to all of this to begin
with.

“You’re still not getting the whole ‘go with the flow’
thing, are you?”

I raised my eyebrows and stared at her. So now I was being
ordered about by the men and fellow “slaves”.

Welcome to the very bottom of the totem pole
.

She handed me a black mini-dress with cutout shoulders, and
little gold clasps that attached the straps in front.

I glanced around for the best place to change then told
myself to stop being an idiot. I pulled Kirk’s tank over my head and draped it
across the bench. Alley handed me the new dress and I squirmed until I had
arranged the tight fabric over my chest and hips. It had ruching up the sides
and I had to admit, it wasn’t a bad look—although still too short.

I turned to the side; the hem of the dress barely caressed
the bottom of my butt cheeks.

“I bet Kirk will love it.”

I blew out a slow breath. “And if he doesn’t.”

“Blame me. I have Miles to protect me.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, but she smiled and hooked her arm
around my shoulder. “You look saucy, girl.”

Trying to get the guy. Not trying to get the guy. Trying to
get away from the guy by getting the guy.

One day and I was already confused.

My only hope was that my full test results hadn’t come back
yet, and Kirk would at least be keeping his distance for one more night.

*****

When it came time for Kirk to return, I worried he wouldn’t
like my new look, that he wouldn’t appreciate my changing out of the tank top
he’d given me. I tried to calm my worries, but after Alley and I moved out to
the living room, all I could do was fidget and hope that Miles wasn’t sitting
behind me watching every twitch.

Finally, there were three knocks on the door, before Kirk
opened it and let himself in. His eyes widened as he watched me stand and
straighten the black dress, but he didn’t say anything, nodding to Miles as
they exchanged my leash. Kirk kept his eyes on me the entire time, not even
bothering to fasten the leash to my collar before he took my arm and led me out
of the room.

Once the elevator doors closed, he turned to me. “What got
into you?”

“Alley,” I whispered, keeping my gaze down as my cheeks
flamed.

“At least you look ready for dinner. Saves me the trouble.”

Of course, that’s all he could say. I don’t know what I
expected. Recognition for Alley’s work. Acknowledgment that I was at least
trying. A hint that he cared about more than just saving himself the trouble of
getting me ready. “Are we…? The same place?”

“Yes.”

“Will I have to…?”

“Do you want me to write you out an agenda?” he snapped.

Pulling away slightly, I shook my head but I doubted that he
saw it since he’d turned his back to me again.

We went back to his rooms and he ordered me to the bathroom,
and ushered me to the counter, pulling down a butt plug and lube. “You know the
drill.”

“You’re going to make me—through dinner?” I squeaked.

He nodded to the counter. I took a deep breath and leaned
over, pressing my forearms into the cold countertop and pushing out my ass as
he wanted.

He slid the bottom of the dress up over my hips, then
snapped open the bottle of lube.

“Silver,” he whispered, pressing a lubed finger into my ass.

I wanted to ask—beg—if there was any way I could get out of
this part, but I didn’t dare.

He pumped his finger inside me then rubbed some of the lube
over my clit. I gasped, burying my face against my forearms.

“You’re tensing up,” he said calmly.

“Will you just get whatever you’re doing over with?”

“That wouldn’t be any fun.”

I bit my lip, unable to stop my hips from rocking against him.
His finger slipped out and something else pressed against my hole. I braced
myself for pain while trying not to tense. With a little work, he slid the
entire plug into place—a lot easier than I had anticipated.

After washing his hands, he squeezed each of my butt cheeks
before pulling my dress back down. “I have to get ready. Follow me.”

I assumed that he only wanted me to follow him because he
knew I’d be in misery walking with the plug shoved up my ass. It was almost
worse than crawling; every step took extra attention as it moved around inside
me and made my regular gait feel strange.

In the bedroom, he pointed to the bed. “Have a seat, Sugar.”

My mouth dropped open, and he smirked, crossing his arms and
waiting for me to sit before moving on to getting himself ready. Biting the
inside of my lip, lowered myself onto the foot of the bed, as the plug shifted
upward.

He stripped off his clothes in front of the closet, my eyes
fell on the sizable lump in his boxers and refused to move until he turned his back
to me and pulled on another pair of pants. Then he slipped on a grey t-shirt
and picked up something small off of the dresser.

“There’s a little surprise to this plug,” he said, fiddling
with the small object. It clicked and the plug started vibrating.

My back straightened and I grabbed the foot board. The slow
and steady vibrating turned into a series of pulses before it settled into a
rhythmic pattern. I cried out as my insides squeezed around the plug. My nerves
relayed the impulses through my gut and straight to my brain.

“Please,” I shook my head, “Not in front of everyone.”

“Then,” he whispered in my ear, “behave and do as you’re
told.”

“Yes, Master.”

The vibrations stopped and I wanted to collapse back onto
the bed. Instead, I had to follow him, on hands and knees, through the hallways
and back up to the same dining room we’d visited the night before.

“How is your little trainee?” Ross asked.

“Improving. Slowly.” Kirk directed me to, again, sit at his
feet.

“Slowly, but well enough to join us again,” Ross stepped
around Kirk and tightened his fingers in my hair. “I think we should have some
fun with her.”

I concentrated on breathing and managed to keep my
expression as calm as possible.

“Doc hasn’t cleared her yet. And she’s allergic to latex.”

“Then we’ll limit our interaction to eyes and toys,” Ross
pulled me to my feet. “The sooner they learn their place, the better.”