Innocence (2 page)

“You don’t know anything about me. I might be a right bitch. I might…I might…” she sobbed lowering her tone.

It went silent for a few seconds. He watched her place the palm of her hand on her tummy and softly rub it. He had no idea what her plans were and hoped it wasn’t the moment she considered to jump and end her misery.

“I have nothing,” she said lifting her head to look immediately ahead. “I’m alone and scared and have no idea what the future holds for me. I even tried homeless places, one of those refuges too, but they were out of rooms and I couldn’t walk another mile. I am so shattered, and having this thing kicking me is not helping,” she said hostile. “I mean its father isn’t interested. Or its grandparents. Or me. I don’t care what happens to me, I deserve nothing. I hate the fact that people just walk all over me and expect me to be stronger than I am, the truth be known I’m shitting myself. I have nothing, how can I provide for my child with nothing?” She turned her head to look at him, thinning her eyes. “They will take her away at birth. I will never see her again.”

He listened intently to her realizing the extent of her well-being. She snivelled. Calvin had to allow her to relieve her hurt and anguish.

“I have no job, and who the hell is going to employ me, heavily expecting?”

She had a fair point.

“How far are you in your pregnancy?” he asked curiously.

“Seven months. Ten weeks before she arrives and gets taken away from me forever.” She told him lowering her tone. He could see the stress and worry in her eyes.

He swallowed heavy, now aware or the realism of her state, she is simply alone, scared and worried about her unborn baby, which he now understands. No doubt her world was empty, full of heartache and everyone she had turned to let her down, her mother slamming the door in her face, how mean can her mother be?

He had to think on his feet, show her compassion but first get her off the damn bridge before it snapped. She didn’t weigh much, but either way the slightest of movement and the bridge could collapse.  

It would be easier for him to walk away, leave the situation and pretend he never came across her only his conscience after time would get the better of him. Then the fact she was expecting. She was carrying an innocent child. The girl was distressed and needed someone to reassure her.

He really wished he had stayed at home, and not bothered going for a walk, but he had fancied a stroll.

“Look, let’s go to the local pub and chat. I am sure we can think of something between us,” he said scrunching up his nose.

“And why do you care?” She snapped.

Calvin shot a stare at her.

“Because, I’m trying, no, wanting to do the decent thing here and help you. I don’t know you, I understand how low you are feeling and I don’t blame you. However, what I don’t understand is why you’re thinking about doing harm that would only cause hurt and kill that tiny baby who might have stood a chance at life.”

“With what?” she wept.

“You will love her unconditionally; you will watch her grow into a beautiful woman. Okay, Dad might not be there, but many women manage. I am sure we could go and get you help and you could start a fresh life. There is always a solution.” Aware he would have to search the internet for information since he had no clue about benefits or single mothers.

“But I have nothing?”

“You have that little girl,” he said, pointing to her tummy.

He watched her lower her head to look at her neat bump. He longed for her to come down. Nevertheless, he would stay with her until she did; there was no way he was about to turn his back on her. And if he had to jump in the river after her, he would do that too. There was no way the woman was going to end her life or her baby’s.

“Do you live local?”

“No, parents live close by,” she muttered.

“Oh, my parents live close by too,” he announced.
Yeah, to the point you’re on their land!
“Please come down and talk about this, after all the current in the river can be nasty and I don’t fancy getting wet,” he said tiresomely, really wishing she would cooperate with him.

He watched her turn her head toward him, looking distraught.

“Please, I can help you,” he said.

He took a few steps closer to the rail vigilant and fearing he would slip due to a sharp drop down to the river below. He held his hand out for her to take hold. He knew the thin bridge wasn’t strong enough to take both their weight. “Please.” He stretched his arm out, needing her to take hold, but his main concern was hurting the baby. Calvin wasn’t a heartless man, but hell, hurting an unborn baby would be terrible.

She glared at him. She frowned. He wondered if she was considering his offer or whether she would do what she wanted too.

“Please,” he said tenderly. Calvin scrunched up his nose in fear she still would attempt to jump.

* * * *

Kacey would admit she was in a bad place, her life was empty, she had nothing, all she owned was the baby in her tummy and the clothes on her back. She resented He had turned up, stopping her from jumping and finishing her existence. She was deeply distraught, not knowing what the answer was to her situation. One thing was certain; she could not hide the way her life had turned into a living nightmare. She stood on the bridge, gripping tightly onto the rail, aware the bridge was unsteady, feeling it moving and creaking each time she moved with her weight. She stared down into the fast flowing river, being only minutes from the decision. Then he had to show up and ruin it all.

She had no hope, no one to talk to and no one to share her living hell with. She would confess she had done so many bad things over the years, having no choice at sixteen but to leave home. And from that moment her life had turned into a living horror movie, but the last few months had been the most difficult. Not only had she been adapting to being alone, single and accepting she was pregnant despite people telling her to go and get an abortion. She declined, no-way was anyone going to tell her what to do with her body, even if over the years she had miss-used it. Her decision had been made an outright, no to getting an abortion. The amount of lectures she received, ‘
you’re not doing the right thing. You will regret it. No-one wants that baby, it will be a bastard, neglected and passed around like a parcel.
Kacey had spent night sobbing, curling up holding her tummy, telling the little one they will manage she would find answers, only failed. How could she kill an innocent child? Only, what a mistake that turned out to be.

He started speaking again. “Kacey, please I would really like you to come to land and talk to me. There is a local pub, we could sit in there and…and well, talk, try and find a solution for you.”

She stared down at the river when the baby kicked, wishing it would stop doing that, reminding her that it was there. The baby was what messed up her life. Certain Rob would never have cheated and stayed out all hours if she hadn’t been expecting his damn baby. Instead, he neglected her and went for the thin attractive girls who could give him what he wanted, sex.

Not that she refused sex, but he was either drunk or stoned on drugs. By the time he strolled into bed, she was asleep. Nevertheless, she could not intimately touch him when she had no idea where and who he had been with, the risk of diseases were high and putting her baby at risk was not an option.

He interrupted her thoughts again. “Look, I understand you’re in a difficult spot, but I’m pretty sure you would not wish to harm the baby.”

“Why?” she screamed, turning her head to glare at him. “Who is going to look after her?”

“What does that mean?” he asked distressed.

“Exactly that…I am not having her passed from one person or home to another and never feeling stability. I want her to be in a stable home.”

“But you can look after her.”

Kacey shook her head in disgust.
You clearly have no idea about bringing up a baby, you stupid man. Go away and leave me alone!

“What, in a nut house? Don’t think I don’t know what you are going to do! When I climb off the bridge you will call the police and have me banged up.” Aware of how some people worked, after all she had lived with scum on the run for quite some time. Either that or she got pushed out of the way, or made to answer the door and lie to the authorities. Oh, the amount of times she wanted to tell the truth, but that would’ve placed her in a worse situation—on the wrong side of Rob, his so-called friends and punters.

“I will not do that. I just simply think you are in a bad place now and need help. Hell, I have been there a few times myself.”

“Like what?” she shouted.

“I use to steal, been in prison a few times, I got in with the wrong crowd, but I sorted myself out,” he explained.

“When?”

“When what?” he asked she saw him frown.

“Did you do those things?”
Boy, this man is thick…and not only that he hardly looks the type to have been in prison, he’s far too neat and doesn’t look the hard type.

“Oh, when I was a teenager,” he said.

She watched him glance in the opposite direction sensing he had something to hide.
He’s telling fibs!

“Did your family disown you?” she asked, curious to know his answer, although already knew his answer…well the truth.

The baby kicked again.

She never took her eyes of him observing him swallow heavily and fidgeted his feet.

“They did, but only for a short while.”

Kacey looked at him with a little more interest.
Is he telling me the truth or is he full of shit?
His long, dark hair covered in gel sweeping down into a fringe over his oval shaped face. From what she could tell, he had dark eyes, a few days facial growth, medium build, baby faced and looked a little older at a guess from herself.
Cute cheek bones and his lips
…she shook her head becoming cross with herself,
what the hell, am I thinking about?
 

He moved away from her. She watched him turn around and walk back to the river bank and sit down on the grass

“What are you doing now?”

“Keeping an eye on you. Shame I didn’t bring a picnic, I only came out for a little walk.” He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on his knees and gazed at her.

“Oh, you don’t need to.”

“I do.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Really?” He wagged his brows while peering at her.

“No…I’m not.”

“Well, at least I know you’re old enough to have sex.”

“Yeah, so I had sex, and?” she raged.

“And nothing. You’re the one debating to chuck yourself off the bridge. I mean you could always hurry up, and then I could call the emergency services, and then throw myself in after you, and then no doubt drown myself. I mean, personally, I hate water. But hey, if you wish to jump, then fine. I’m right behind you. Can you swim?” he asked.

Kacey glared at him.
What the hell is your problem? First telling me not to jump and now to jump, is he fucking with my head?

“What did you say?” she asked side-tracked.

“Can you swim?”

I’m pretty shit to be honest, but who cares?
“Yes, no, I can, but not very well.”

“So why pick throwing yourself into a river?”

“Less blood.” He lifted his brow.

“Yeah, I can see that. Don’t do blood either?”

Kacey knew exactly what he was doing manipulating and teasing her. He was trying to scare her into moving off the bridge and getting onto safe, dry land.

“Do you go fishing?” he asked.

Kacey still thought about the previous question. She engaged in eye contact with him wondering why the hell be brought up fishing. Then, she guessed with her debating to throw herself in a fast flowing river, it might make sense to ask.

“No, do you?”

“No, my uncle does. Cannot see the point in it myself spending hours sitting by the river, or pond catching fish, and then when you catch them throw them back…what is the point?”

Kacey shrugged her shoulders not having a real clue and really not caring.

“But hey,” he added and lifted his shoulders.

He suddenly jumped up onto his feet and moved down the bank closer to the river to look down into the river.

“Do you reckon there are eels in there, pikes and those fish with nasty teeth, piranhas? Imagine that! Then there would be loads of blood.”

“Next you will be telling me there are sharks and whales,” she giggled.

He turned to glare at her horrified. “Why, do you think there are?”

“No, silly.” She laughed.

“Oh gutted, I remember watching the piranha film, was pretty stupid, pointless to be honest, and then
Jaws
do you remember that film?” he asked, looking at her as she stared hard into his eyes.

“Yes, I remember. Pretty rubbish now, though.” She smiled.

“Yeah, but a classic.”