Innocence (7 page)

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Authors: Holly J. Gill

BOOK: Innocence
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They both walked through the large hall and down into the basement where the snooker room was located. Calvin enjoyed the cue sport played on a table covered with a green cloth, with pockets at each of the four corners and in the middle of each of the long side cushions played with twenty-two balls in different colors. Each ball was to be knocked into the pockets, the one who scored more points than the opponent was the winner, similar to the American game of pool. Calvin knew Ross played the game well, and he would lose like always, but maybe his luck would change.

Calvin had full intentions of forgetting Kacey and having a good night with his mate. He longed to be reminded of his younger days when they went to York for wild nights out and tried to hook up with girls. It was always Calvin who would be the one heading home empty handed. In those days, Calvin always had his thoughts with a certain young girl who he had chased for years. Then, when he managed to land her, she disappeared a few months later. What puzzled him was no-one could give an explanation to why and where she’d gone. He spent months, years trying to get over her, but she’d gone, no one even seemed to care where.

“So how is business doing?” Ross asked him when they arrived in the playroom.

Calvin set up the balls on the snooker table and passed Ross the cue to make the opening shot.

“Not bad,” he said, staring at the old fireplace littered with wood and kindling with an ancient England flag draped above it. 

“You don’t sound convinced,” Ross said, taking his shot.

Calvin watched the balls spread out.

“No, it’s fine, I’m not trying to think about it too much, being on a holiday, as such.”

“Sorry, I for one know what it’s like to be tied to your job and forgetting about the existence outside. So what is bothering you?”

Calvin leaned over the table to take his shot.

“What do you mean?” His stomach somersaulted.

“The earlier comment about wanting a drink or fifty?” Ross said, taking his shot managing to pot a ball.

“Nothing,” Calvin said, feeling a large lump the size of Mount Everest filling his throat.

“Okay. And you expect me to believe that?” Ross scoffed.

Calvin knew Ross was onto him, and debated lying or going with the truth and telling him. Ross was tall and thin with blonde hair that he swept back from his face. He always dressed in a pristine way whether in suits, or even casually dressed, like now, in jeans and shirt.

Kacey ate at his brain and he needed someone to guide him. With Ross being in law, he might even have some answers for her. Hell, it was worth trying.

“Not really, but you could try,” Calvin said, knowing Ross far too well.

“Excuse me, but do I seriously look stupid?”

Calvin spun his head to gaze profoundly at Ross, noticing him hitching his brows.

“Okay, no, you observe more than me, but then that is your people skills crap, you are trained to do, being the professional that you are,” Calvin added.

“I simply know when you have something on your mind. You forget I have known you most of my life and even though I don’t see you that often, I know when something or someone is bothering you. Simply a minor element of working in psychology and seeing when a mate is in need of a chat,” Ross added taking his place at the snooker table.

“Great, so you can tell when I’m not myself?” Calvin enquired

“Of course I can, that is my job to perceive. So, is it a woman?”

“Not saying.” Ross took his shot. He lifted his head to gaze into his friend’s eyes. “Okay, fine—a woman.”

“Always is a woman, my dear friend, always is, they know…in fact, I would almost say… they are taught at school how to displease the male form. They are almost at times above my own jurisdiction. So do tell me, is she back in London and you have left her down there for a break?”

“Nope,” Calvin answered and leaned over the table to take his shot. “She is here in the village,” he said, taking his shot and missing.

“I do hope that scoring a woman is more gratifying than you potting a ball,” Ross said, and walked around the table and marking up his next move.

“Always had my way with the ladies…not.”

“You don’t kid me, Calvin. I would imagine the women scream out to you in London?”

“More like the rats in drains,” he said as they both laughed.

“You need to wise up, after all, there is only so much a guy can take, while
missing his appetite,
” he said wagging his brows and taking his shot.

“Yeah, well, this girl isn’t one. I am gravely worried about her.”

“Reason?” Ross said, straightening his back and rubbing down the end of his cue.

“Caught her attempting to jump into the river earlier today,” he said, taking his mark at the table and leaned over to take his shot.

“Excuse me!”

“Exactly, cannot believe it myself. I almost wonder if she would have jumped, if I hadn’t turned up and stopped her. And the worst part I don’t know what to do about it” Calvin said, staring at Ross, he had his full attention now.

“Are you saying she was going to take her own life?”

“Yep, she sure was.”

“And where is she now?” Ross looked full of curiosity.

Calvin felt his mouth going dry.

“At the cottage, the one the pub owns,” he said before swirling the beer around his mouth. He felt his stomach tied in several knots.

“Oh and is she safe to be left alone?”

“Yeah, I think so. I hope so. She was shattered when I left her and she was already talking about the future, so I guess she plans on staying around.”

“Okay, and her mental state is reasonable?” Ross sounded far too professional with him.

“Yes. Look she is upset, no money, no home, no job, parents slammed the door in her face and she’s had her bag stolen. I mean she has been through hell.”

“Poor girl. How old is she?”

Calvin shrugged his shoulders not having a real clue.

“And she has nothing?”

“Nothing. She was at her all-time low. I saved her. I think. I hope. I am not sure, but, she is pretty and just needs a little guidance. I thought with your knowledge we could maybe help her get back onto her feet,” Calvin suggested hoping Ross would help.

“Okay and she has no job? Yet, you’ve appeared to notice she is pretty?”

“Yeah so…and no job, nothing she was in a bad place and her partner cheated on her, leaving her homeless,” Calvin said.

“I see, and she is where again?”

“The cottage at the pub. I have paid for her to stay there, didn’t fancy bringing her home here, ‘seeing large pound signs’.”

“I agree with that, but nevertheless you should have called the authorities. She clearly is in a mental state and might need some help,” Ross said, moving back to the snooker table to take his shot.

“Of course, I understand that, but I thought she might need a few days to think about her actions and life.”

“On your expense, Calvin. I suggest you walk very carefully with this woman. My major concern would be that she is trapping you.”

“No way, I have seen her and she’s in no state to trap me,” Calvin said knowing Ross was talking rubbish.

“You just said she is okay?”

“Yes, I did, she is warm and safe and no doubt snuggled in the bed relaxing and catching up on some serious rest.”

“Am I missing something here? I might be able to conduct psychology, but you are sending my brain crazy.”

“Ross, she is fine.” Calvin stood tall and giving a fake smile. “She just needs someone to listen to her, help her that is all. Her parents don’t wish to know, although I have suggested tomorrow she attempts to talk to them again. She needs them, but from what I can guess, it all goes back to something that happened years ago when she was younger. I want to try and help her. She needs someone she can trust. You might think I am crazy, but I am stepping carefully.”

“I hope you are my friend. If you need a legal team at any point…”

Calvin interrupted, “Thank you, but I am sure we will be fine. I just don’t know where to start.”

“Then I will help you there. Look, keep cool and please don’t get involved too deeply.”

Calvin frowned and sensed he already was.

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

They played a few games of snooker where Ross won, typical. Afterwards they went into the media room to further relax watching an action movie whilst drinking beers and eating snacks. Calvin could not help but think about Kacey and debated if he should give Miranda a call to check on her.  He hoped she hadn’t done anything stupid when he turned his back.

Calvin stood up, leaving Ross to watch the movie. He stepped anxiously out the room and pulled his mobile phone from his jeans pocket, strolling through his contacts finding the number Miranda had given him. His heart beat overtime and wondered if calling would be a good idea. He chewed his lower lip and dialled.

“Hello,” she voiced

“Hi, Miranda, It’s Calvin, I just needed to know if Kacey was okay.”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I popped my head in about an hour ago when I saw a light go on. She looked pretty tired. The baby was moving and disturbing her sleep.” She laughed.

“Oh good, and she appeared settled?” he asked to ease his concern.

“Yes, she’s fine. She said she was making a drink and then heading back to bed. She mentioned how comfortable the bed was and the best she had slept in. I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Calvin scoffed, knowing what Kacey had been through. “Yes, I would too. Okay, as long as she’s okay, that is all I needed to know.”

He disconnected and re-joined Ross in the media room.

Calvin sat thinking about Kacey and how Ross might be able to help her.

Ross was bright, clever and great at judging people, but Calvin wondered if it had been Ross that had found Kacey holding on the edge of the bridge would he have ignored her and walked away? His heart beat faster, already aware of the answer. No, no one would. Well, her parents might. He hoped tomorrow she would talk to him more; he needed to learn more about her past and try to establish if he could help her or not. But with her being heavily pregnant, there was no way he could turn his back on her and allow her to continue the way she had.

Calvin was nudged in his ribs, waking him up from his thoughts.

“Penny for them?” Ross said.

Calvin exhaled deeply and turned to stare at Ross. “Nothing.”

“Now I know you’re lying, you’re miles away.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Is it the girl? Are you worried she will try and take her life once again?”

Calvin often wondered how Ross managed to mind read, a talent right now he would love to own.

“I am not sure. I just cannot stop thinking about her and how it must feel to be so alone with no one willing to help. I wouldn’t mind, but in the emotional state she is in…what is fuelling her thoughts. I guess this is when being men, we can simply walk away and forget about what happened. I suppose what I mean is, could you just walk away?” Calvin asked staring at Ross.

“Depends what I would be walking away from. Look the thing is you haven’t heard his version of the story and I always say there are two sides. No doubt, what has happened to her in the
earlier days
reflected on her adulthood and left her in a position of insecurity. But my friend, what you must remember is, don’t get involved. Keep your distance. After all, you don’t know her intentions. And if you are that worried call the police, get her professional help, you aren’t qualified and not only that, you’re here for your holiday, a break, not to get heavily involved with a women who you don’t know.”

“No police…please, Ross. She just needs time to clear her head. She needs help and guidance,”

“Calvin, she isn’t your problem. There are facilities and counselling that can help her.”

“No, Ross, please, she just needs time.”

“Why is she so important to you?”

Calvin could not answer the question at all.

“She just needs time, time to reflect.”

“Time to take full advantage of you. Do you help all strays?”

“No…no I bloody don’t,” he said in defence.

“Then why her?”

“Ross, please…give her a tiny break, if in a few days she’s still unpredictable, then yes, we can call someone,” Calvin suggested.

“Okay, but, my friend, I’m more worried about you and I can see you as an easy target, now that you have kindly put her in a cottage.”

Calvin agreed he had no idea what Kacey could be dragging him into and maybe already she was taking full advantage of him, but he still believed in chances.

“Yes, but surely we all must be given a chance,” he said feeling sorrow in his heart.

He had never been alone, but he could imagine how lonely it would be without friends or family to support or help you in your hour of need.

“Yes, I agree. But you must remember you caught her in a desperate situation. I am sure she might have still jumped and taken her life regardless of your words, they wouldn’t have changed her actions, especially if she felt that low. We all hit rock bottom and some people manage to take their lives, but clearly something was preventing her from doing so.”

“Yes, but I believe in helping someone when they are at their weakest and she is, not that I have put myself out in the past. If anything, I have stayed well out of any personal issues unless it affects the job,” he added staring at Ross. “And yes, there was a serious reason for her to stop her actions. And yes, I will admit I had to convince her jumping would not be the answer, but the poor girl was in clear distress, sobbing her heart out and all I could think was about her jumping and me having to jump in after her. I would have, of course. There was no way I would stand by and watch her take her life, and not just hers.” Calvin closed his eyes sensing her grief.

“What do you mean? Not just hers!” Ross asked.

Calvin turned back to look at him.

“She is expecting.”

He watched Ross widen his eyes in shock.

“What?”

“She is seven months pregnant. She has nothing, and there is no chance of her getting a job. I would agree with her no one would take her on in her condition.”

“Bloody hell, Calvin, why the hell didn’t you mention this earlier? Here I’m thinking she is some sad bitch, full of self-pity and yet you are dealing with an emotional expectant mother. Did you say her parents lived in the village?”

“I think so, she’s being vague,” he said, cocking his head to the side. “She denied it when I asked her in the pub, but after speaking to her it sounded certain they do live close by, I could be wrong, I was more concerned about her releasing her hands from the rail.”

“And you assume that by?”

“She mentioned she’d been to her parents’ house and they slammed the door in her face. I am not totally stupid. She tensed up and didn’t wish to answer all my questions which, in reflection was understandable. She’d been through so much I didn’t wish to argue with her, and I could see she was tired and had the weight of the world on her shoulders which wouldn’t be good for the baby. I want to try and get her to talk to her parents again. I feel it is my duty.” He peering at Ross, he could see him thinking hard about the news he had received.

“And you’re certain her parents live close to the village?”

“Yes, very close!”

“Did she grow up here?”

“I assume so.”

“Do you recognise her?” Calvin tilted his head to the side when Ross continued to bombard him. “Do we know her parents?”

“For God sake, Ross, stop with the twenty million questions. I didn’t wish to push her. All I cared about was getting her rested, somewhere safe to put her head, and think about a few things.”

“Do you think she’s unpredictable?”
Stop with the questions for goodness sake.

Calvin shrugged his shoulders unable to honestly answer the question.

“My goodness, Calvin, you really need to tread carefully. She might see you as an easy target and be looking for someone to take on the role of fatherhood.”

“Hang on. Don’t talk rubbish. I am trying to simply help her out. She needs help and not only that, she talked earlier about giving the baby up for adoption,” he told him needing to clear the facts.

“Adoption. That might be a wise move, if not in foster care.”

Calvin spun his head to glare disgusted at him. He understood it appeared the reasonable option at the moment, but sensed it wasn’t a decision to be taken lightly. Much thought needed to go into handing a baby over. There was no way he could ever hand his baby over, but then his life wasn’t at rock-bottom.

“Don’t look at me in that way, clearly she has nothing and putting the child in a safe environment until she gets back on her feet would be a wise move. I have seen women think they can cope and end up in serious trouble, some even turning to desperate measures.”

“Are you crazy? How can a mother be expected to give away her child that she has carried for nine months. That is ridiculous,” Calvin snarled darting a glare at him.

“Yes, but sometimes it’s wiser to make that decision and clearly she is considering it. She has to narrow her options. Yes, she would be heartbroken to hand her child over, but at least she could climb back up the ladder. It would give her the opportunity to start again.”

“No, I intend to disagree with you. That baby she is carrying is inside her; a child needs its mother,” he said shielding the unborn

“Look, despite your reservations on such matter, whatever she decides, it needs to be respected, but then you shouldn’t be getting involved. I can help her with getting help from the system, but she needs to be the one to make the decisions, and clearly she is in a bad situation. She has to think about the immediate future, not long term, but now when the child is born.”

“No,” Calvin said, standing abruptly to his feet, glaring down at Ross, wagging his finger in disgust. “No, that is not an option.”

“I think you are feeling emotions for this woman and you need to step back. You know nothing about her and that is what is worrying me. Don’t make promises you cannot keep! She is in a weak state and that is my biggest concern.”

“For God sake, Ross, she needs people around her who she can trust. She has been pushed around, no one giving her the time, and the only feelings I have for her is that I am being sincere and I will continue to help her.” Calvin grimaced at him.

“Okay. Okay, but just promise me, you will not drown in her grief. There is help out there and I will give you all the guidance to get her back on her feet and hopefully we can do this before the baby arrives.”

Calvin relaxed his shoulders having much of the tension disappearing liking what his dear friend said.

“Thank you. That is all I’m asking for.” Calvin sat back down on the couch beside Ross leaning forward, understanding what his dear friend told him.

“I will do all I can for you, my friend.” Ross said slapping his hand on his back. “I can see the stress it’s causing you, but please, allow me to get more involved and we will guide her together.”

“Thank you.” Calvin could feel his heart beating normal again.

He sat back down next to his friend and took hold of his beer. He gulped it down. Tomorrow they would get to work to help her get a home and some serious help. After all, time wasn’t on their side.

 

* * * *

 

She sat down on the couch pressing her hands softly against her swollen bundle. The unborn hadn’t moved since the early hours of the morning, no doubt worrying over nothing. Kacey had been forced to get up a few times during the night, and the landlord of the pub came to check she was okay, telling her she was fine and very tired. Kacey had wondered whether Calvin had rung her to make sure she hadn’t done anything silly. The truth was all her energy had been zapped and she was pretty drained. She’d walked around the cottage and made a hot chocolate before waddling back to bed and drifting off into a deep sleep.

She loved the fact she was comfy in a secure bed giving her the refuge she’d been begging for, for many years. Now, after quite a good night sleep, she was apprehensive on what the day would bring.

Kacey put the television on flicking through the boring channels, news mainly. The kettle boiled and she went into the kitchen to make a strong cup of tea. Leaning against the table staring around the cottage, she had to make the decision of when to go and try and talk to her parents, hoping her father this time might be in. She didn’t hold much faith they would listen to her. She wished they would forgive her and as a family somehow move on from her mistakes. If only her mother had not interfered so much and instructed her to do something so horrible, breaking her trust, destroying what relationship they did have, the situation they were now in wouldn’t exist and her life would not have taken such a drastic turn. All Kacey craved was some support and reassurance, but instead she was left to get on with it herself, alone making decisions she at times regrets greatly.

Kacey wished she could have faced her family sooner, but now she feared it was far too late. At the time, and still to this day felt the pain she suffered cut her heart into pieces whenever she thought about, her consequences and actions never left her soul or heart. She did all she could to push all thoughts of her family to the back of her mind. It seemed easier to get drunk, take drugs, numbing the pain and guilt. She buried the heartache deep managing at times to to forget about her parents and could somehow cope with her life. Yet, when sober and the drugs out her system her thoughts turned back to them. Some nights she’d cried herself to sleep, wishing she’d been honest, but feared what her parents would do and possibly resent her even further. She hated her existence. Then she met Rob, he helped her freeze that pain, giving her the drugs and alcohol— she welcomed anything to block her mum, dad and her actions out. It worked, at least for a short time.

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