Innocence (6 page)

“Looks great?”

“My mum. She’s been busy baking, loves homemade cakes and bread. I am sure she would love to be a baker.” He chuckled.

“I recall you saying earlier, wow, that is a talent. I cannot bake or cook very well, Mum insisted she cooked so no-one messed up her perfect kitchen.”

“I can cook very well, Mum taught me.” He chuckled. “

“My mum, made me stay out of the kitchen, hated if I even went in for a drink or to make a sandwich.”

“Your mum sounds wonderful.”

Kacey turned to scowl at him.

“Joke.”

She laughed and guessed he had already a slight understanding of her mother.

Kacey took a bite of the sweet flavors as the cream pushed out and some went on her nose. She saw Calvin gazing at her. He gave her another astonishing smile.

“Pretty good hey?” He winked at her.

Kacey had no idea what to say as she longed to finish the cake before another word was spoken.

“Wow, that was lovely,” she said, wiping her mouth and then licking the sugar and cream off her fingers.

“Sure was. My mum knows how to bake the best.”

“Yes, yes, she does. So you live close to the village?”

“Yeah on the outskirts, my family have been there forever! Have you enjoyed a bath?” He said, picking up his mug and taking a sip. She watched him gulp it down.

“Yes, but got stuck.”

“Oh, because of the baby?”

“Yes, she is proving to be a nightmare at times.”

Calvin stared at her.

“I have also been thinking about my situation and I don’t see a future for her with me.”

He gazed harshly at her.

“I am thinking about what is right for my daughter.” She swallowed, regretting that adoption seemed to be her only possible option.

“Like what?”

“Well, I have to think about her and the future; she has no future with me at all.” Tears filled her eyes to the thought.

“Are you crazy? Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

Kacey couldn’t bring herself to look at him, knowing by his tone he didn’t sound impressed and she could hardly blame him.

“Adoption.”

“What! You cannot do that,” he said in disgust.

He slammed his mug on the table, startling her.

“But you suggested giving her up for adoption earlier when I was on the bridge?”

“Yeah, as an option to give you hope, get you off the bridge for God sake. You cannot just hand her over like that.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

Kacey managed to glance in his direction. His glare frightened her.

“Yes, you do. That
is
your daughter you’re carrying and despite the fact the father might not be around and a total waste of space, that
is
your child. You have looked after her, carried her, kept her safe.”

“Calvin, I was going to jump off a bridge earlier, does that not suggest how uneasy I am? I have nothing, nothing.”

“There has to be a way around this mess. There has to be. Look try and talk to your parents again; try and make them see how desperate you are.”

“Calvin, I hate my mother and she wouldn’t listen to me. She hates me for what I did years ago, and I resent her too. It’s not as easy as talking. I mean…just getting passed the front door would be an achievement,” she informed him.

“You have to try; you have to tell her how desperate you are. When was the last time you spoke to her?” He frowned in apprehension.

“This morning and before that nine years ago.”

“Nine years ago?” He raised his voice gobsmacked.

“Look, I will try again tomorrow, but I am pretty sure I know the outcome. I’ve told you she hates me and to be honest, the feeling is mutual. If I wasn’t so desperate I wouldn’t even be here begging her for help. I mean all I need is a little help to get myself back on my feet once this is born,” she said jabbing her belly.

“You cannot call her
this
,” he said annoyed, lifting his brows, she saw the disappointment in his eyes.

“I can and I will. If I hadn’t been expecting, I could have left Rob, got a job and got sorted, but instead I have taken a nose dive into the unknown and have no idea what my prospects are. I feel sick constantly at the thought I’m pregnant and this was another big mistake in my life, but then I have plenty of bad habits,” she snarled.

“Even so, you are expecting and going to be having a daughter, and surely you handing her over at birth would destroy you?”

“Why?” She snapped.

“Because she’s your flesh and blood. Wouldn’t you be worried about her? Thinking about where and what she was doing? Whether she is missing her biological mum?” He informed her. She could tell he had no idea, he had no idea at all. His life had been a bed of roses and he had never come across the reality of life or so he had said.

“So you were in prison, what for?” She asked harshly, trying to change the argument.

“I got involved with a bad crowd and they robbed and stuff, I got caught up in the mess and ended up in prison. Does that matter? That was my past, but this is your future we are talking about.”

“Without a home, money, or a job what do I have?” She growled.

“Okay, fine, but I think you need to think about what your options are carefully. Promise me that?”

She studied him, not liking his ultimatum, guessing she still had a few weeks to consider her options.

“Okay.” She sighed, far too tired to argue with him further.

“I thought perhaps tomorrow we could pop into York and get you some new clothes.”

Kacey stared at him not wishing to put him out more than he already had. His generosity was outstanding.

“Only a few, just to have a change of clothing from day-to-day, that’s all.”

“Okay,” she answered and looked down to the floor, really not understanding why he was willing to help her so much.

* * * *

Calvin could not believe what he had just heard. Why on earth would she even think about giving her baby away? Surely, she was emotionally attached to her daughter, and would, in time, find it harder to give away. Not only that he did understand where she came from and that she had nothing, nothing at all. Her world must be so lonely at the moment. He had wondered what had happened nine years ago making her life change so drastically, making her leave the secure family home, clearly it was a subject she didn’t feel comfortable about talking about, either that or she had a typical teenage kid thinking she knew best and wanted to prove a point. He had met so many people like that when at college and university. Then again it also gave a few a chance to grow up and not live by parents rules.

He didn’t wish to ask too many questions and bring up the past. She was weak enough without him making it worse. He could see in her eyes how distressed she was and her past was affecting her future greatly. He wondered if she’d been a wild child and done some crazy antics like getting drunk, taking drugs, doing crazy parties and her parents had taken a disliking to her being young and wanting to have fun. He had wanted to have fun when he had been younger. After all, being a kid was what life was about. Calvin refused to grow up too soon, despite his family background.

On the whole, he guessed he’d been lucky to have understanding parents who always allowed him freedom to do what he wished and engage and learn from life. Yes, he messed up a few times and driven around like a fool when he got his first car, but he’d been a typical young man and wanted to have a good time, show off to the young ladies. After all they liked a boy with a car, their personal taxi!

He sighed. He looked at Kacey, her hair now drying in large thick strands he wondered if he should leave her to rest, watching her yawn.

“I have a mate popping over from York tonight,” he thought to tell her.

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah, not seen him for a while. When I’m visiting home I always try and catch up with him,” Calvin explained, unsure why.

“I don’t have any friends anymore,” she said and yawned again.

“Ross is my only friend remaining up north. We’re going to have a few beers and do the guy talk rubbish.”

He stood to his feet, picked up her empty tea mug, and took it into the kitchen to place in the sink.

“Sounds perfect.”

“I will come and pick you up in the morning and go into York for some clothes. It will not be early; I’m enjoying the lazy mornings,” he stated.

Kacey yawned again.

“Listen, you go to bed and curl up. You’re shattered.”

He watched her stand, holding the towels tightly in place. Her eyes red where she’d rubbed them.

“I will leave you to get some well-deserved rest, and I will see you tomorrow,” he said while making his way gradually toward the door.

Kacey stood tired, yawning sensing her next destination, bed for a well-deserved night’s sleep. He opened the door and stepped outside. She appeared at the door, smiling at him. Then slowly he watched the door being closed behind him, leaving him standing outside. He was unsure what the hell was going on. Was he getting in too deep? He hated the way his mind worked; there was something about her that made his heart skip. He didn’t feel it was sympathy, but something else, something that had compelled him to her. Was he attracted to her? Whatever it was it made his knees feel weak. Any other man with any amount of sense would be walking away, no, running, but Calvin couldn’t do that.

He made the short trip to his car. Gosh, he hoped she would be safe and well. He was putting his trust in her not to go and attempt to take their lives again. He felt she was relaxed and enjoying the warmth of the cottage, the promise of a comfy bed for her to rest.

Anxious, he slipped over to the pub needing a quick word with Miranda.

“Calvin,” she said, putting on her apron to start on the evening meals.

“Hi, sorry, just a word. I wondered if you wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on Kacey. I am worried about her with her being heavily pregnant.” He grabbed the nearest beer mat and asked if he could borrow a pen writing down his mobile number. “Don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Okay, no problem,” Miranda said taking the beer mat from him.

“Thanks, see you in the morning.”

He scooted out of the pub and wandered to his car. He took one last look at the cottage hoping she would keep safe. He wondered if he should cancel tonight and keep himself free if Miranda called. Or better still, make a bed at the cottage and keep a closer eye on her, only that might suggest he hardly trusted her. He didn’t. Then he thought about how tired Kacey was, he bet she’d be far too shattered to even think about going anywhere. Her day had been terribly long and emotional, and he was certain all she needed was a good night’s sleep. He hoped that after a good night’s sleep, she’d be thinking differently about her unborn daughter and the thought of adoption would be a minor blip. Calvin shook his head, needing to stop worrying about her. She was stable. However, he could not believe she spoke about giving the baby up for adoption, so he guessed she planned on staying around and not attempting to take her life again.

He drove back home, still unsure of his actions and why he was helping her. The truth was he guessed he’d a heart and caught her at her lowest point. Maybe, Kacey was what he needed to relieve him of the stresses of London life. Maybe she’d be the distraction the doctor had ordered.

Back home he pulled the car up beside a Range Rover, aware that someone had already arrived, either Ross or his parent’s friends had. He wandered into the great hall and could hear voices, sounding like Ross and his parents. He turned the corner to see Ross drinking a glass of white wine. His parents were such a bad influence on anyone who visited; everyone was offered wine.

“How you doing, mate,” Ross said cheerful, walking up to him and holding out his hand to take a firm handshake followed by pulling him into his body for a man cuddle, adding a man slap on one another’s back.

“Good, mate, and yourself. Not changed.” Calvin laughed.

“Look who’s talking; what’s the mop on your head.” Ross chuckled, pulling out from their man brace.

“Fashion, mate, apparently.”  He chuckled. Noticing his parents stood in the background laughing.

“Do have a good night,” his mum said.

He watched his mother and father head off toward the grand dining room.

“So how have you been?” Ross asked.

Calvin went to the fridge for some chilled beers.

“Not bad and yourself? How is York life treating you? Looks good with your mean machine! I am of course guessing that’s yours?” He said referring to the Range Rover.

“Job is great, only problem, I hardly have any time for socializing and seeing the opposite sex, and yeah on the mean machine, all mine. I felt a severe treat was needed,” he said, when Calvin passed Ross a can.

“Wowzers, you’re earning far too much!” He scoffed. “And I couldn’t agree more about women; they are the last thing on my mind at the moment.” He belly laughed, trying to push Kacey out of his mind and have a relaxing night off. How the hell had a woman changed his life so quickly in a short space of time?