Innocence (10 page)

“There is nothing more attractive than trying to hoist yourself with dignity out a chair.”

“Or a bath,” Calvin voiced.

He’s back from moping.

“Exactly.” She smiled. She rubbed her pregnant form again.

“Calvin was telling me you lived local many years ago.”

She peered at Ross then at Calvin. Calvin grinned looking subdued and shrugged his shoulder.

“Yes, I did,” she said not wishing to elaborate.

“Where about’s?”

Kacey really did not like where the conversation was going, therefore glared gormless and stroked her hair.

“I use to live in the village, down Dell Lane. I grew up here with Calvin being my best friend. No doubt we might have come across you or at least heard of you. As the village isn’t exactly large.” Ross eyed at her across the table making her uncomfortable.

“Oh, right, I use to live close by,” she said, wondering if to run now. He had no business in knowing anything about her and she certainly wasn’t about to pour her heart out to him. She scratched her forehead, longing for the conversation to move on. She turned her head away fearing Ross; he appeared terribly abrupt and far too nosy for her liking.

Ross looked at her. “How old are you?”

Why what the hell does it matter? It isn’t going to change my bloody circumstances!

“Twenty-six,” she answered coy.

“Ah, right, we are only a few years older than you.”

“Which school did you attend?”

“Why?” she asked scrunching up her nose.

“Curious, with you living close when you were younger, wondered if we all attended the same schools.”

Kacey spun her head to glance at Calvin, noticing him looking bemused as her, fiddling with his fingers.

“I doubt you went to my school.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I didn’t go local,” she said not wanting to tell him she attended an all-girls school and therefore no boys, so no chance she had come across either one of them.

“So where did you go? I mean there aren’t that many schools around here,” he added.

Kacey stared at him. “Does it really matter? I got educated and fucked up…and?” she said irritated.

“I guess not. And you feel you messed up?” Ross asked calmly, clearly her agitation wasn’t fazing him.

She watched him take a sip of his drink while keeping close eye contact with her.

“Yeah, well I didn’t end up here for nothing. I let my parents down and myself.”

“Would I be right in guessing, you did something beyond their wishes?”

“Yes, I let my parents down.”

“I see, and why did you let your parents down?”
There was the dreaded question.

“I was young and stupid and got into a difficult situation,” she said, gazing at Calvin really needing him to rescue her.

“Right…I guess it’s your business to explain or not.”

“Yes, it is,” she said sharply.

“Should we order some food?” Calvin said, clearly he felt the atmosphere needed to be shut down instantly.

“Good idea,” Ross said. “And what mistakes did you make?”

“I’m sure she’ll tell us in her own time,” Calvin added turning to glance at Kacey.

Ross gazed at Kacey making bitter. Gosh she hated intrusive people. Calvin stood to go and get the menu. Her guts swirled not needing him to ask any further questions.

“What’s your surname?” Kacey lifted her head and stared at him.

“Why?”

“It’s just with you being local there might be a chance I know you. I know many of the locals and your face is familiar.”

“And?”

“I just wondered that was all.”

“Here we go, guys, menus and specials are on the board,” Calvin said, joining them at the table and handing out the menus.

Kacey was not in the mood to eat but just wanted to head back to the cottage, pack nothings and leave without anyone noticing, but something told her she wouldn’t get far before getting noticed, especially by Calvin.

“And where do your parents live?” Ross voiced.

Grrrr, stop asking the same questions!

“So what you eating, Ross?” Calvin interrupted.

“Just a cheese sandwich and pickle,” Ross answered.

Kacey watched Calvin turn to her. “I’m not hungry,” she replied.

“You need to eat something to keep up your energy levels,” Calvin argued.

“Yes, you need to think of the baby,” Ross added.

Kacey felt ganged upon and wondered how much information Calvin had told him, frustrated she formed a firm fist under the table, longing to hit out and tell them to stop butting in. she scrunched up her nose, sick and tired of people telling her what to do. She didn’t need help. She just needed some time to contemplate her near future actions, not that she had any, as she had nothing to move her forward.

“The baby is fine,” she snarled unsure why people were suddenly concerned when for the last seven months no one had shown her any attention, not that she wanted it. If there was one thing about her she had learned was to stand on her own two feet…well so to speak, with many hiccups.

Both men hitched their brows.

“Fine, tuna sandwich, no butter,” she informed him.

“Okay, I will go and order,” Calvin said and stood back up.

She watched him walk away and feared what Ross would ask her next. She hated being interrogated and right now, longed to curl up and disappear. There was nothing easy about her situation, and the last thing she needed was interfering busybodies. Her life had been a shamble, what more was there to tell? She had disgraced her family, dropped the best education and got herself into nothing but trouble…there end of story!

“I am a little concerned about Calvin,” Ross voiced.

Kacey turned to glance in his direction and saw him gazing deeply at her. He placed his chin on his hands and frowned.

“I hope you’re not taking advantage of him.”

“No…not at all, that is not my intentions. I will be gone in a few hours and a distant memory. I never asked him to…” She paused and had to think carefully about her next line.

“Save you from jumping off the bridge?”

Kacey held her breath and her heart skipped vital beats. Bile filled her throat. She turned to look at Calvin seeing him being served.
How dare he tell this man what I had been attempting…bastard!

“What else did he tell you?” she said glaring at Calvin, disgusted. Her blood boiled to the point she wished to stand up and tell Calvin exactly what she thought of him and add a slap him across the face.

“He told me how you need help in getting your life back on track and how you have had a tough time. Calvin has a heart of gold and I don’t wish to see him being misled.”

Shocked by the accusation, she would never take advantage, hell she had learned to stand on her own two feet and go down the rough roads. She looked back at Ross unsure what she was meant to do or say. What she did know, Calvin was kindly helping her, even if she could not see her outcome.

“I’m not taking advantage of him, I wouldn’t.”

“But he’s helping you and I am going to help too. After all, you are in a weak state and no doubt at your all-time low. But you need to understand taking the unborn and your life is not the answer. You need to prove them wrong.”

“My parents would never accept whatever I do,” she barked.

“So we look for an alternative solution.”

“Like what?”

Calvin clearly had told him almost everything, then again she could not help but feel maybe because of the delicate situation he needed advice, only Ross was far too open and straight to the point.

“So,” Calvin said arriving back and sitting down next to her. She watched him reach for his drink and take a sip. “Sun is peering out, we could maybe eat outside.”

“Nice gesture, Calvin. We were just discussing her parents’ attitude toward her, and looking to possible solutions as her mum certainly isn’t willing to help,” Ross said.

“Great plan.”

Kacey could not work out whether Ross was trying to cause trouble between them or not. He’d already made it known that he didn’t like her near Calvin, but then why offer to help? Her head was in enough confusion without adding more. She felt sick to the core and needed some air, feeling suffocated with the tension.

“Look what happened between me and my parents all those years ago is history and unfortunately mud sticks. They are so frigging stubborn. I have tried to talk to them, what more can I do? I mean.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I wouldn’t mind, but I am the one with the problem with them, not the other way around. Then I disgusted them, how the bloody hell, dare I?” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “Sorry,” she said and stood abruptly. “I need air.” Kacey walked away quickly.

Her heart was breaking thinking about nine years ago and how her life had tipped upside down. Forgiveness was not on her agenda, but at least tolerating her parents she could cope with. She wasn’t even sure if her bedroom was still hers, knowing how her mum behaved and when someone upset her. They were written off; she had no further time or day for them, including her own flesh and blood. Mistakes were never accepted and hell Kacey had made a huge mistake.

She found the back door onto the patio area with tables and chairs and an area with a heater and a canopy. Tears streamed down her cheeks hating the way her life was and being judged by a man who knew nothing about her. Kacey placed her hand on her tummy, feeling insecure and lonely. She wanted nothing more than to get her life back on track, but how? There was no simple solution other than giving her daughter up for adoption and starting fresh, and that thought crucified her.

Kacey sat on a chair, her back facing the back door.

The sun burned through the clouds and beamed down on her as she sat in a wonderful, warm wind trap.

“Hey there,” Kacey heard coming from behind her. She sighed knowing they would follow her.

She watched the two men sit around the small table, joining her. She would prefer to remain alone and gather her thoughts. She hated Calvin for telling Ross about her state of affairs, he had no right! However, she could also understand how his best friend would wish to protect him. The situation was awkward and no doubt looked very suspicious, but the truth was she asked for nothing.

“Sorry I never meant to offend you or bring back any memories, we have all made mistakes in our lives,” Ross said.

Kacey looked at Calvin and watched him lower his head. He turned coy away, scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s fine. I just…I am not sure if it’s the hormones that are making me weepy,” she said, needing to blame something for her reaction as otherwise she would rip Calvin to shreds. Her blood boiled to how much he had told Ross, and with no right.

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t be so intrusive. I am just wishing to get your background information so I can proceed in getting you help. I guess your parents aren’t obliging and don’t forgive and forget. We all have moments in our lives where we need guidance and you, clearly you need help. We can help you, but you need to be honest with us and then we can take you to the next stage.”

She snorted and wiped her nose. “What do you need to know? I’m homeless, no money, no stability, no possessions, and very alone. Oh and I’m pregnant.”

“And the father?”

“I’ll not be sending him any postcards. He was cheating on me.”

“Ah, before or after you fell pregnant?” Ross asked.

She shrugged her shoulders not having a clue, but guessed Rob had been cheating on her since the day they got together. “I’m not sure, but he said I was unattractive and far too tired and not showing him enough attention and I’m a fat slob,” she explained.

“Nice guy. So he is out of the equation?” Ross asked.

Kacey noticed Calvin chewing his lower lip.

“Yes, not interested and wants nothing to do with either one of us. I mean it’s not her fault we have split up, but I guess some men have no shame,” she added her stomach aching.

“Don’t you think that he has some rights to the baby?” Ross asked.

She shot him another glare.

“No, he’s no father figure for her. He would probably sell baby things to get his next fix.”

“I gather ‘fix’ your referring to drugs?”

“Yes, drugs and alcohol.”

“Have you taken such substances?”

She hitched her breath, scared of how to answer, scared how the two men would judge her. “Have you?” she tossed back.

“No, never. I am guessing by your reply you have?”

“So, so what if I have…it was the only way to block the pain and guilt out. I had to have something to take away my anguish,” she blurted out. “Rob gave me what I needed, sorry if you don’t approve, but you have no right to judge me…yes I fucked up…so fucking what,” she snapped frustrated, with her heart aching.

“While expecting?”

Does this man ever give up?
“I did in the beginning and stopped when I suspected I was pregnant. That was when I started noticing Rob and other women, I guess I was too out of it to notice before,” she said lowering her head and thinking back to the times he was surrounded by women, half undressed and then he led them blatantly to the bedroom. Where she stood, or sat shocked.