Innocence of Love (10 page)

Sophie felt her heart stop beating, eager to mention Calvin, wanting so desperately to tell her about him and that…her stomach flipped over, her body turned cold, with the clouds threatening. Frozen on the spot longing to tell Caroline about him, no…she had to tell her. Sophie had no idea when he would return feeling it would be the right thing to warn her, or at least notify her that she had contact with Sabastian’s father.

“Caroline,” she spurted out. Her stomach somersaulted. She watched Caroline stop and turn her attention back to her.

“Is something wrong, you have gone a terrible shade of white?” Caroline inquired, deeply worried.

Sophie forced bile down her throat needing to clear it. Caroline walked back toward Sophie closing the car door standing to her left side.

“Sophie…”

“Sorry,” her voice shaky, terrified, scared of her reaction. A sensation of tenderness took over her. Her mind catapulted all over the place, unsure if to tell her. Her response might be unpleasant nevertheless she didn’t wish to cause a rift between them, after all they shared one of the most precious people in her life. But hiding Calvin from her might be even more devastating. She had to tell her not matter whatever the outcome would be. She had to solve it…

Sophie flapped her hand in front of her face, needing to cool herself down as she burned hot and flustered, heart skipping to the dozen having her mind in a complete whirlwind.

“Sophie, what is it,” Caroline added, rubbing her hand up and down Sophie’s left arm.

“I am in contact with Sabastian’s father,” she spilled out.

She watched Caroline’s face freeze, mouth dropped and widened her eyes. She held her breath for a few seconds before swallowing hard.

Sophie waited a few seconds allowing her to digest what she’d just been told.

“Oh…and?”

“I found him when I went back to the village where I was brought up…and well…he knows about Sabastian, shocked, as he had no idea about him, but he’s aware he has a son, who is being well looked after,” she explained, hoping she answered a majority of questions before Caroline asked.

“Oh,” she answered subdued. Caroline stepped back. She lowered her head deep in thought, eyes wandering aimlessly her breathing erratic.

“He isn’t after Sabastian or anything. He works and lives in London, it’s his parents that live close to my village,” she made clear.

“Oh.”

Sophie could see that Caroline was devastated and worried about Calvin’s actions.

“Sabastian is the spit of his dad…but of course, our son is a very lucky boy having so many mummy and daddies,” she added, trying hard to lighten the mood while her own stomach tossed about inside her tummy.

“What are his intentions?” she exclaimed with every right.

“I’m not sure! He is in London and I have told him how well Sabastian is doing and that he’s a very happy boy, and I think he respects that,” she added.

“And what is your involvement with him?”

Sophie hitched her breath.
How the hell do I answer that? I know how I feel about the man, but unfortunately at this moment the feelings aren’t mutual. 
“We are friends. He had been my strength in the last few weeks.”

“I see, so you’re in close contact?”

Sophie couldn’t see the point in lying. “Yes, I speak to him daily.”

Caroline enlarged her eyes. “Oh, oh I see.”

It went silent for a few seconds. Sophie forced the large lump in her throat down to her tummy.

“Oh, and would he like to meet him?” she inquired.

Sophie shrugged her shoulders not having a clue what his intentions were. “I don’t know.”

“Has he not mentioned meeting his son?”

“Not directly, it all came as a serious shock to him.”

“Sabastian, knows me and Mike aren’t his biological parents as you well know and maybe, I could talk to Sabastian and ask him what he wishes. He can make decisions for himself and I think he has every right to decide, what he wants. I’ll also talk to Mike and be in touch. Gosh,” she spoke quaked, holding her chest, “This has come as a surprise,” she huffed.

“Yes, yes it has. He is lovely and he is the one who admitted me into hospital and was beside my side, even lied to the staff, so he could be close to me and Kacey. He really is wonderful, guy, and I’m not just saying that,” she had to inform her, smiling, needing to convince her, and to know he’s safe and there was nothing to fear.

“Oh, okay…I trust you, after all, you wouldn’t just invite anyone into his life, would you?” she said sharply.

“No, I would never put Sabastian at risk of anyone. Now Kacey’s father, he is another matter, I would never tell him the truth as I wouldn’t want him anywhere near my daughter. I will protect her until the day I die from him,” she told her.

“So he’s really is a bad guy?” she queried while making her way back to her car door.

“Yes, he really is…but honestly Calvin, is a good man, the total opposite to my now ex,” she had to report.

Caroline smiled at her. “I will chat to Mike and then see about talking to Sabastian.”

Sophie smiled at her, pleased she had managed to tell her about Calvin. Now she would wait anxiously for the call to hear whether Sabastian would be interested in meeting his natural father or not.

****

“You chickened out, my good friend.” Ross beamed wagging his brows.

Calvin lowered his head, Ross was right, he was a complete chicken, but he honestly never wanted to tell her on the phone how much he loved her, he couldn’t. Calvin was more afraid he would humiliate himself, Sophie would laugh and call him a complete
plonker
. But, there was no hiding the fact that he was crazy about her and putting everything else to the side while narrowing up his options. There was only one solution, he would have to gain the balls to tell her.

Yes, they’re going through a bad patch!

Yes, no doubt people will judge myself and Sophie for getting involved with one another, but in all honesty, what the hell has it to do with them? Come on, Calvin, tell Sophie and take the risk of being chastened, okay, she might giggle, and call me a fool, but I can handle that, of course I can. I love her…and I am convinced she feels the same way about me, as otherwise…why would she have me in her life so much?

Question after question raced around his head. All he could picture was her beauty. Gosh, she looked amazing heavily pregnant, so beautiful in ICU, when she laid on the bed lifeless, but when she woke, those eyes, the way they peered at him. He smiled, overjoyed to such an occasion making his heart skip vital heartbeats and tongue tied.

He loves Sophie Richards there was no denying that. He couldn’t deny that, he wouldn’t.

Calvin stared at his phone, contemplating to call her back…but then surely, it would be better in person. At least he could watch her reaction, serious or a joke, either way he might have a chance to convince her they are the best thing for one another. They need one another like the earth needed the sun. His heart craved for her, there was nothing more on this planet right now he needed but, her. Did he care she had another man’s baby? Nope. Yes, he was bothered that their son was being raised by another family. However, overjoyed he was being brought up by a loving family who were taking the best care of him.

Could he forgive her for handing over their child? His heart bounced about inside his chest…searching for the answer. Yes, he believed he could, after all she’d been in a very difficult place any vulnerable girl would feel the same. She’d been scared about approaching people aware of what the possible outcome would be. He did understand more now, than ever. A few days to think about the situation had been enough to calm down the spite and realized she had been terrified.

He sat thinking while Ross got the drinks. His mind all over the place and had been all night thinking about Sophie. He wondered what future could they build together. Sat in the restaurant with light blues music playing over the sound system. They had eaten steak and chips which tasted divine. In all honestly he hadn’t been all that hungry, he spent most of the time playing with the food moving it from one side of the plate to the other.

Calvin tried so hard to enjoy having Ross staying with him liking he had some company, wishing he’d been more of a distraction then really was, but when he gazed around the beamed bar, with an old traditional fireplace, old oak walls with high ceilings with many pot plants, all he could see were couples holding hands and staring longingly into each other’s eyes.

There was only one solution to his scenario he needed to get back to York and be by her side. Work and schedules were the least of his problems. The company ran fine, he had the best team…if he left them a little work to do while he returned on Monday morning, surely they could handle that, while he repaired to piece his heart back together.

“Penny for them,” Ross blurted out, placing the pint in front of him, no doubt guest ale, which was the reason Calvin brought him here, fantastic ales brought in from around the country.

Calvin stared into the beer glass seeing the golden ale with a little froth on the top. He lifted his head to explore his friend’s face.

“Ah, allow me to guess, brunette, and has just had a daughter,” he mocked. “Why don’t you just tell her?”

“I will…this weekend. I’m heading back to York. I’m not telling her over the phone, but instead face-to-face the way it should be. I am going to take her out for a meal and do it correctly,” he told him grinning.

“You’re not asking her to marry you, are you?”

Calvin stared at Ross wide-eyed. “No, flipping heck, can I move just a little slower please,” he scoffed.

“Of course, my friend, but to be honest, you are like mush, and I feel you would become combusted by the weekend.”

“I do not look that bad!” Calvin scorned.

“You want to bet…I can put my month’s wages on the fact, by the end of the week you will be almost bursting, and I bet you’re leaving for York first thing in the morning, because you cannot stand being so far away from her,” Ross stated making fun on him.

“Pack it in. So what I love her, surely that isn’t a crime, is it?” Calvin scoffed back his heart skipped beats.

Ross placed his hands up in defence. “Absolutely not, but if you don’t stop, it will put me off my food, and right now I’m craving to try the treacle pudding,” he mocked.

Calvin could not agree with him more, but the love signs surely weren’t as bad as he made out, or were they? He had no idea and really didn’t care.

One thing he was certain of, he would be travelling up north Friday morning, to get by her side sooner. Only there might be one slight problem getting her alone, or bringing her away from her daughter for an hour. He wondered if he had the right to take her away, from her small bundle, but surely she’d be entitled to have a small break.

Could Calvin, really convince her just for an hour to leave her daughter’s side? He had no idea, if he had to declare his love by her daughter’s side, then so be it, he would do whatever means possible.

****

Sophie constantly checked her phone to find out whether she had missed a text or call from Caroline about the possibility of Sabastian meeting his father. It graved on her stomach something painful hoping they would understand how much Calvin hurt. Sophie sensed it would ease his heart if he met their son, or would it turn out to be the biggest mistake ever? Now worried, wondering if what she had done had been right thing for any of them, would Calvin want Sabastian in his life more? Or would Calvin be contemplating getting his son back? Worry filled her, she had no idea what the outcome would be, but judging his reaction the other day, he would do what was right for their son.

Filled with panic, unsure what the hell to do, she hoped Calvin’s intentions wouldn’t be to upset their son, if he did, she would never forgive him. In fact, she would want nothing further to do with him, whether he accepted it or not, their son was being brought up by a loving family she would never argue they weren’t doing a great job.

Heading back outside to check her phone, she needed some serious air the unit being far too stuffy. Calvin had to understand Sabastian was her innocence of love, and if he didn’t like it…

She lifted her head to look at the area surrounding her a few cars passing slowly, an ambulance pulling up to escort someone back home. A few people walked briskly while others dashed. The sun beamed down the heat already burning her arms. She turned further around to see a few people sitting on the grass enjoying their dinner. The clear blue sky above, it truly was being a stunning summer, only problem she was stuck inside unable to push her daughter around in her pram, that was enough to cripple her heart.

“Hello, love,” she heard turning around to see her father wearing casual clothes.

“Dad,” she high pitched her voice, surprised, why she had no idea. Her dad had been the one looking after her as her mum sulked somewhere.

“I have brought you some leaflets on houses and the laptop for us to look through a few houses. We need to get you housed, I fear time is running out before they deliver the remarkable news you can take her home. I mean you could live with me for a while, but nothing will be better than your own home,” he added, smiling at her holding a laptop bag betting everything they needed was in there.