Innocence of Love (9 page)

“Yes, but any woman surely would appreciate your hard work, and the fact you’re going to be working late, hell…like I said to spend an evening in this place is a blessing, but not exactly homely, it’s more like a damn show house,” he grimaced.

“You are sounding very negative…what’s troubling you?” Ross asked.

Calvin really didn’t wish to start the conversation again. The thought of Sophie being alone in that bed without someone holding her tight, promising her everything, killed him. He wished everything would be okay, not that he knew things were okay between them both. At least he could try to offer her advice and be there for her when times were rubbish, like he had been up to now.

“Nothing.”

“Know then my good friend, I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Okay.” He shot to his feet. He waved his arms in the air. Ross stared at him wide-eyed. “You want to know what is killing me in my guts and I have no idea what the hell to do…I love Sophie Richards…there I’ve said it,” he rejoiced. His body relaxed of the tension he held. He looked at Ross there was no notion of surprise from him, if anything, he stared as though he expected the news.

Calvin sat back alongside Ross, leaning forward and locking his hands together behind his head, sighing. His heart ached, chest tight, yet delighted he managed to finally share the information, even if Ross was about to lecture him.

They both sit in silence for a short while.

“You love Sophie?”

“Yes. I just don’t know what to do. I love her and care about her greatly.” He sighed lost in visualising her. He gave a lopsided grin, longing for nothing more than to share the same breath.

“Yet there are so many problems that keep getting in the way. I mean, how the hell can I tell her how I’m feeling, if she lives in York? I work here. She lives up there. No-way on this planet would I expect her to move Kacey and herself down here. I just couldn’t, and leave behind Sabastian. That would be wrong of me to expect any differently.”

“I love the sound of her voice she makes my heart flutter and skip beats, and she makes my knees turn to jelly whenever I’m close to her. My tongue ties in severe knots whenever I’m near her and I have no idea what on earth I can say to her. When she calls me I automatically drown in her voice. I fear the truth could ruin everything between us. She trusts me implicitly and I cannot and will not break that bond with her.”

“But hell, Ross, it kills inside my chest. I never realized how much I cared until Veronica came into my office, and started winding me up about Sophie, then I saw how much she meant to me and how this distance is playing crazy with my heart,” Calvin stated, staring ahead at the black screen the TV, while his stomach somersaulted.

“I had a feeling this might happen,” Ross finally replied.

Calvin lowered his hands from the back of his head to stare harsh at his good friend. Ross flicked his brows.

“Meaning what?”

“Why don’t you call the woman up and tell her how you’re feeling, tell her how much you are missing her.”

“Yeah, that’s the easy part, but what about living arrangements? I cannot expect her to move down here,” he explained, adding a deep sigh, dropping his shoulders becoming deflated.

“I’m pretty certain you can come to some arrangement. Yes, things are tough at the moment as she has Kacey in hospital, but in a few months, if not less, that will all be considered history and she will be running around being a full-time Mum. What I do know my good friend is I haven’t ever seen you in this state over a woman, and clearly Sophie is having an impact on you. Talk to her! Tell her about the way you are feeling. She might be shocked, but then it might be the news she’s been waiting for.”

“You reckon? More like I’ve broken her trust. She would never forgive me. I cannot jeopardize what we have built all because I have turned into a pussy and found love,” Calvin stated.

“We all need a break in life at times, and you have always said since that night almost ten years ago,
you wish you could find her, to make love to her again
,” Ross quoted with his fingers.

“I might have said that, but that was when things had been with innocence of love, not this damn scenario, where I have fallen in love with a woman I saved, I shared her secrets with, then was by her side while in intensive care and then by her daughter’s side. To then discover the icing on the cake about Sabastian, but that doesn’t matter. I can push all that to the side and love Sophie, look after her, make sure I can provide the best, and it has nothing to do with guilt,” he had to include.

“I never said it was. In the beginning I was afraid my good friend you would get involved for the wrong reasons, but from where I am sitting, I know your hearts belong together, it’s just banging your heads together, to make you both see what a good couple you make. I have witnessed when you are around her, her face lights up like a Christmas tree, and her eyes change into sparkling diamonds. I know in my heart she feels the same for you, it’s getting one of you to open your mouths.”

“But things remain a little unsteady at the moment,” he told him.

“The longer you leave it, the harder it will play on your heart. Call her,” Ross encouraged him.

“You really think I should tell her over a damn phone call? I am planning on visiting this weekend?” he announced if of course he got all his jobs done.

“Which ever you decide I’m sure she will be skipping around the hospital,” Ross marvelled.

Ross stood to leave the lounge.

Calvin sat pondering on his thoughts.

He loved her and needed her.                    

Chapter Five

Sophie sat thinking about Calvin wondering whether they were having a good time down in London. She had visited London many years ago with the family seeing all the sights, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, Tower Bridge all the main landmarks, and she remembered going on the underground, it smelt foul, fumes, people stank of sweat, the air tight not forgetting the tight squeeze to fight for a place on the train. London being the capital of England full of pollution plenty of cars and buses to get people around the city. She remembered visiting Oxford and Regent Street, Harrods, and the famous toy store Hamelys. It wasn’t her favourite place and with a small baby would be impossible to visit. The thought of tackling people with a pram, just didn’t sound inviting.

She soon thought about what her dad had said about getting a house, sounded promising and her father, Sophie knew, would keep his word. Her dad had called in earlier with local papers mentioning he would look around estate agents and bring a computer for her to search on the internet, finding him being very sweet.

Her mum had called but she hardly said more than two words, Sophie guessed she felt sorry for herself. The thing was despite all that she had done, she was her mum and she loved her. She guessed their circumstances were extreme aware nothing would be repaired as quickly as that. Her heart however, felt more healed, being delighted to the fact everyone knew about Sabastian, she just wished she could get hold of Caroline or Mike to tell them about Kacey.

Looking through the papers, loving the sound of Kacey cooing and curdling away to herself, it became a sound that filled her heart with joy. She kicked her tiny feet while moving her arms from time-to-time. Sophie had the joy of seeing her daughter open her big brown gorgeous eyes. She would smile to the end of the universe just to see such wonders of life, her precious little girl doing remarkably well.

She scanned the paper, trying to find something that would be central to York yet, far enough out to keep her and Kacey away from the noise and business of the city, not forgetting also lowering the risks of bumping into her ex. The thought of her ever coming into contact with him made her heart freeze. Her eyes filled with tears, not wishing him to see her daughter, okay he was the father to Kacey. Sophie didn’t care what people would say, how he should have some involvement in her life, not forgetting he should be aware his daughter had arrived, no chance he could rot in hell first.

“Sorry, Miss. Richards, but Mr. Richards has called you,” the nurse winked at her. Sophie stared at her puzzled when she cottoned on. Calvin.

“Thank you,” she replied, wondering why on earth Calvin would be contacting her surely he’d be busy with Ross doing guy things.

She stood reaching for her bag noticing the nurse arriving back to check her daughter’s observations. “Am I okay to pop out?”

“Of course you can.” She smiled at her.

Sophie left the unit to make the journey to the main entrance where the clouds were threatening looking like rain the sun hidden causing a slight chill.

She fired up her mobile waiting for it to all load before locating Calvin’s number. She couldn’t understand why he would be calling her, although she could do with hearing his voice, he always made her feel secure. She swiped her finger down her screen finding his name and pressed call.

There were many rings when he picked up.

“Hello you, I believe you called me,” she mocked.

“I did, how are you? How is Kacey?” he asked. His voice appeared clogged up like something was trapped in his throat.

“I’m fine and so is Kacey, she has responded well to the antibiotics and fingers crossed she will be okay. How is London?” She had to ask.

“Great…” he responded, sarcastic.

“Did Ross make it safe?” she asked, walking up and down the side of the hospital close to the car park.

“Yes, he did,” he answered bluntly.

“Good…I didn’t think I was calling you tonight,” she scoffed.

“No, well, I needed to make sure you were…okay,” he coughed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just tired been a long day,” he said quietly.

“Oh…are you resting or heading out?”

“Heading out, taking him to my favourite diner,” his voice raised.

“Great, I am sure he will enjoy it.”

“He will…and you are okay?” he repeated, lowering his voice again.

She was certain he had something to tell her.

“Yeah,” she replied.

His voice sounded indecisive.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…have you heard from your father?”

“Yes, brought me a load of papers and later is bringing me a laptop to look at houses. I really have no idea where to go though, I was wondering if you could suggest areas?” she stated, aware he’s full of wonderful knowledge, “or even Ross.”

“Yeah. We will get our thinking caps on and start thinking of nice areas for you,” he spoke sweetly.

“Thank you. I would appreciate any help.”

“Okay, anyway…we need to be getting off, back at work tomorrow and well…you look after you and Kacey…and I’ll hopefully try and chat to you tomorrow.”

“Okay, Calvin…thanks for the concern and send my love to Ross.”

“I will,” he replied, dubious.

Before she could add anything he rang off. 

Confused by the conversation after he’d repeated himself a few times. She sensed there was something on his mind. She debated to call him back to try and find out what troubled him. Her heart ached like never before for him she really wished he was with her. It had felt like weeks since he’d left when really had been only days, but Lord she missing him something chronic.

Her mind elsewhere, thinking about him and whether he had something to share with her, but the truth was, she really couldn’t pry too much, if Calvin wanted to talk about it, she would be the first to listen. Knowing Ross was with Calvin eased her heart a little at least, she could always try and get information out of him when he returned. She remained indecisive about Ross, whether he liked her, after all the pain she’d caused Calvin, getting him involved in saving her life, it would be enough to make anyone think they were scheming something, the truth was, she wasn’t. They shared a son. They shared her first intimate night, she would never forget that, even if she had forgotten what he looked like. However, he had changed, grown up, grown up into a very special man, then he had been elite back then, only she wished she had attempted to know him better.

All she could picture was his gorgeous face, his smile that always soothed her heart. Her stomach swirled constantly when her thoughts drifted to him, to the fact he was so close and being so wonderful. She wondered if he had ever been the bad boy that he ever mentioned when she had been debating to jump into the river…she bet he lied to deploy her down safely, not that she resented that moment. She could remain lost in his exquisiteness and adorability for the rest of her life, if he would let her in. Only the timing with her daughter was all wrong. The odd occasion she thought about picking up her life and going to London to be with him, it just wouldn’t be appropriate at this moment in time.

“Sophie,” the sound of a voice startled her.

She lifted her head from her deep thoughts to see Caroline. Her eyes widened jubilant to see her. She smiled.

“Hello there.” Excited to see her.

“Hello,” she responded back wearing a dark navy skirt suit, a blouse tucked neatly into the skirt, tights and heels, her long hair slipped back to the back of her head. “How are you?” She grinned making her way toward her.

“Great,” she answered when Calvin entered her thoughts the fact Caroline was bringing up their son, not a good thought, but true.

The woman stood a close, wrapping their arms around one another in a warm embrace.

“I am so pleased to see you,” Sophie beamed trying to hold back the tears.

They held each other for a few seconds, Sophie inhaling her floral fragrance. The woman pulled back while Caroline smiled.

“Are you not expecting, have you had her?” she asked.

Sophie noticed her scanning at her tummy expressing concern.

“No, not expecting now, Kacey is in neonatal, in an incubator, was born premature, I started haemorrhaging, and well got rushed in. She is here safe and sound and being well looked after.” Sophie explained.

“Oh my goodness, you poor thing. Should we…” Caroline held her hand out to suggest moving to the bench.

They both made their way to the free bench.

“You should have contacted me.”

They sat on the bench alongside one another. Caroline took hold of her hand, turning her body to face Sophie. Her eyes filled with tears, fearing the emotions of the last few weeks were appearing after all she had hardly cried but, done everything to hide back her true feelings. Caroline was the sweetest woman she had ever met and Mike her partner had a heart of gold, meaning everything to her.

“Sorry I would’ve done, only my bag got stolen,” she explained, her stomach curdled with the thought of what had been in that bag her son’s drawings, paintings, and photos.

“Oh no, that is terrible, are you okay?”

Sophie was unsure what she referred to, having Kacey early or the fact her bag had been stolen.

“I am fine, gutted about my bag and Kacey being born early, but she is proving to be my little fighter,” she clarified.

“Wow, you poor thing. I will get Sabastian to draw her a card and get her a gift,” she told her heightening her voice, excited.

“That would be wonderful.”

“You’re welcome and Sabastian would love to be creative, you know what he’s like.” They both chuckled.

“My goodness you must have been terrified.”

“I was when being rushed into the hospital but after that I have no idea really, I was tested and then rushed into theatre where they gave me an emergency C-section. Then typical of me I had complications and needed a blood transfusion, and spent several days in ICU.”

“Oh my Lord, Sophie, I’m so sorry to be hearing this.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine, we’re fine, my life just took an unexpected diversion.” She giggled.

“No kidding, you never do anything by halves.”

Sophie felt indecisive if to bring Calvin up and tell her she in touch with her son’s father.

“I will bring him to the hospital, and allow him to see his sister. Is the father giving you plenty of support?”

Her heart collapsed, aware Caroline never knew the truth about her situation with Rob, and to be honest, she wished to move on and forget about him. Rob was no use to anyone, other than supplying his drugs and always on the run when cops were prowling and always somehow found a way of getting away with it.

“He erm…well were not together, broke up when I was expecting,” she told her not needing to elaborate on the real story.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you going to be a single mum?” Caroline asked squeezing her hand.

“Yes, yes I am. And I will do a great job, who needs a man, hey?” she mocked.

Caroline scoffed. “Yes, you are so right! Anyway, I had better head home and I will bring Sabastian, he would be delighted to see his new sister,” she told her releasing her hand. They stood to start taking the slow walk to the car park at the far side of the Maternity Hospital.

“How come you are here?” Sophie asked curious.

“Visiting a friend, she had an operation and well I brought her a bunch of flowers to cheer her up. I would have you if I’d known.”

“Sorry no way of contacting you, but it appears fate made us bump into one another.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.”

“And Sabastian he’s good?”

“Of course, he’s well and taking part in after school activities, such a whizz,” she quipped.

“That is great,” she said her stomach twisting. “I have a new mobile and wondered if I could…”

Caroline interrupted her, “Of course you can, Sophie.” Caroline and Mike being the only people to call her by her birth name, less confusion for Sabastian. Caroline gave her number while Sophie stored it into the phone.

“That is great thank you. I will text you, so you have my number, and hopefully I’ll not manage to have it pinched,” she scoffed trying to keep the mood light, there was no reason to tell Caroline the truth.

“Brilliant.”

“I will contact you and let you know our plans,” she promised.

Sophie held her phone tight in her hand, sparing a thought for Calvin.

They continued walking toward the car park when Sophie noticed her reaching into her handbag for her car keys.

“Well, this is me,” she announced standing in front a Volvo. “I will be in touch, I’m thinking maybe this weekend, we could bring Sabastian. I know he would love to see Kacey. He’s done nothing but talk about you having a baby. And every day asked when you was having her.” She smiled.

“Really?” Sophie replied, stunned, yet delighted her son had wished to have some involvement. He was an incredible boy.

“Yes,” she answered making her way to the driver’s door. The sound of the car clicked open, aware time wasn’t on her side.