Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch (22 page)

You can use light or more firm pressure; check in with your partner about his preferences, using yes-or-no questions as described in Chapter 3. You could even drip lubricant straight from the bottle onto his genitals. You can coat one or both of your hands with lubricant and slowly or quickly rub your hand(s) up and down the shaft and head. You can dab a little lubricant at a time on a small area, repeating until the entire penis is coated. You could use an edible lubricant and spread it with your lips. You could put some lubricant on your big toe and spread it with your feet. There are obviously myriad ways to play with lubricant; the bottom line, as always, is to enjoy the act. By check- ing out different types of lube and different strokes, a couple can learn a lot about how he likes to be pleasured, perhaps even discovering new things in the process.

Y Touchdown Z

We’ve been teasing and playing, deliberately avoiding the clitoris, in an effort to get her absolutely yearning to be touched there. There will be a time when the right place to touch is the clitoris. When her desire is maxed out and her clitoris is aching to be touched, it’s a go. You want to select her favored spot. As we have written, most women’s favorite spot on their clitoris is the upper left quadrant (this is her left, as in her left hand), but we have seen a number of women who prefer their upper right quadrant or even their lower quadrants, so you cannot make assumptions. If you are unsure, start with the upper left unless she tells you otherwise. Anyhow, when you do get to the clitoris, you want to start touching her right away on her favorite, most turned-on area. In order to do so, you will have to move her hood out of the way.

Y Retracting the Hood Z

All women’s genitals are shaped differently. This goes for the hood of the clito- ris, too. Some hoods are quite thick, and others are quite thin. Some women’s clitorises are totally buried under the hood, and other women have practi- cally no hood at all. Before even starting to touch the clitoris, it is an excellent idea to take visual inventory of the area—to determine the lay of the land, so to speak. Determine what type of hood she has and how her clitoris relates to the hood geographically. Pull back on the hood area to see what it will take to be able to freely touch all parts of the clitoral head.

Figures 15 and 16 illustrate how to pull back on the hood with either your right or left hand. You will probably want to use your dominant hand to both retract the hood and stroke the clitoris. Press the meaty part of your thumb against the side of the hood and pull up. You want to expose as much of her clitoris as you can. Until you’ve learned her preferences, use the training cy- cle (Chapter 3) to ask questions as you vary the amount of pressure you apply. Most women like firm pressure here and can take more pressure than you may think. Whether her preferred touch is firm or light, remember that your touch must be sure and deliberate at all times—not tentative—even when you’re pulling back on the hood. Pulling back the clitoral hood with the thumb of your stroking hand in just the right way is one of the most difficult and im-

portant techniques to master, and it is one that we want our male students to learn well early on. It is so important because it frees up your second hand for other activities.

Figure 15.

Exposing the clitoris—thumb of
right hand positioned on left
side of hood

clitoral hood clitoris

Figure 16.

Exposing the clitoris—thumb
of left hand positioned on right
side of hood

clitoral hood clitoris

Once you know how to showcase the clitoris by pulling back the hood, put some lubricant on the tip of your index or middle finger and stroke the clito- ris. The stroke is almost a pinching motion between the finger and the thumb

that is holding back the hood (you are essentially moving your finger against your stationary thumb). I like to start with a very short stroke on her favor- ite clitoral quadrant. The pressure and the speed I use will depend on what I know about my subject and upon how I feel at the moment. With my full attention on her, I will know just what feels best. I will give her one stroke at a time if we are practicing feeling the first stroke. Each time I start to pleasure a woman, even the same woman, I do not follow a specific plan.

There is, however, a specific way to hold your hand and finger. Even when you retract the hood, the upper portions or quadrants of the clitoris are still usually partially covered by the hood, especially at the beginning, before the clitoris is fully engorged. You will have to dig your finger under the hood to get to the upper quadrants. Hook your index finger under the hood, probably at an angle, to allow you access to the proper quadrant (see Figure 17). If you are right handed, to get to the upper left quadrant, you can tilt your wrist as if looking at your watch.

Figure 17.

Hook right index finger under

hood to fully expose upper

left quadrant of clitoris

In general, unless you are practicing the one-stroke-at-a-time technique, use continuous short strokes on her favorite spot. For now, don’t change the type of stroke you use. The number of strokes you give her at first will depend on her response to your stimulation.

Y Stroking the Lower Clitoris Z

Here is a fun and easy stroke that most women find quite pleasurable. Instead of digging your finger under the hood, place the finger at the lower part of her clitoris where it is attached to the inner lips. You can touch or stroke this area on both sides simultaneously or on one side at a time. Of course, you have a little lubricant on your fingertip. Lightly stroke with an up-and-down motion, moving to the beat of the music, if you like. You can even use single strokes to continue her training to feel that very first stroke. Let her know that you are rubbing at the bottom of her clitoris or even a little below and off of it. In this way she will not think that you are failing to find her upper left quadrant but will know that you are touching her exactly where you want to.

This stroke is very easy to do as there is no hood in the way, even without your having to retract it. We have worked with a number of women who have hoods that are either fully attached to their clitorises or partly attached and are therefore impossible to retract. These women (as well as women whose hoods are easily retractable) usually enjoy a lot of pleasurable sensitivity in the boundary between the upper portions of their labia minora and their cli- toris. It is also an effective stroke for untrained women (as we will describe in the next chapter), who at first may like this type of touch even more than being stimulated directly on their spot.

Y Placement of Your Second Hand Z

See Figure 8 in the previous chapter (page 85) for a recommended position for your second hand. Confidently grasp her buttocks cheeks, and place your thumb firmly yet politely at the base of her introitus. The job of this thumb is to feel the strength of the contractions in her PC muscle, which encircles the vaginal and anal openings in the shape of a figure eight.

This hand placement allows most women to feel they are being taken care of, which increases their ability to relax. It allows you to sense if she starts to tense her muscles and lift her torso, at which moment a friendly reminder to sink into your hand will usually be enough to get her to relax again. This posi- tion also makes the second thumb available to stimulate her genitals in coor- dination with your primary stroking hand. You can move this thumb up and down along the introitus or inner lips as you continue to stroke the clitoris.

If through her body language (or verbally) she invites you into her vagina, your thumb can easily slip inside and stroke as you continue to rub the clitoris with your primary hand. Penetration should not be forced, but if she bids you inside you can use your thumb to press downward with the pad or press up- ward with the nail area. Make sure that you keep your nails short. Do what- ever feels best, and always stay in communication with your partner about her preferences. Sometimes I will insert my thumb as far as it will go, press down firmly but not too hard, and keep it there as I continue to stroke the clitoris

with my primary hand. Read
The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Or- gasm
for more descriptions of how to penetrate the vagina with your fingers.

Alternatively, you may want to use the second hand to pull back on the hood, as we described earlier. This allows good access to the clitoris, but you lose the ability to judge the strength of her contractions. You can try this method to start a session or if you are unable to pull back the hood with the thumb of your stroking hand. You can now easily engorge and expose the cli- toris, and then later place your second hand under her buttocks to feel her contractions.

There are times when I may put the index or middle finger of my second hand on her introitus, closer to the clitoris, without using the rest of that hand (see Figure 9 on page 86). This allows me to feel the strength of her contrac- tions while causing as little distraction as possible. Then I may use that finger to stroke the introitus as I continue to stroke the clitoris. All of this depends on how I feel—on my response to what is occurring in her body. Once a woman invites your hand inside her vagina, your fingers will practically be sucked in. You can then add more fingers if you like. This usually happens after she has been pleasured for a while. Continue to stroke her clitoris as you play inside her vagina.