Into the Deep 01 (35 page)

That’s why the sofa thing was such a bad idea.

The tension was so thick between us, it was like our attraction had physically manifested into a large elephant sitting on and crushing my chest so I couldn’t breathe properly.

Our arms brushed and Jake’s might as well have been a flame licking my skin. My cheeks blazed and I murmured, “Sorry.”

When the lights went down for the movie, it was unbearable. I could hear Jake’s shallow breathing racing to find rhythm with mine. In the dim light, I saw his hands flex into tight fists on top of his thighs. And because I was trying my best not to think about sex, all I could think about was sex with Jake and how good it had been and how much better it would probably be now.

I found myself beginning to sweat. My body was like a furnace.

“Fuck it,” Jake suddenly whispered and turned to look at me as the light from the screen flickered over his face. “There’s taking things slow and then there’s taking things glacial.”

My lip curled up at the corner. “Done with the glacial?”

His eyes burned in the dark. “I think we’re doing a pretty good job of melting the glacial right out of us.”

“You feel it too?”

“Fuck yeah,” he leaned in close, his lips millimeters from mine. “Baby, I’ve been feeling it with you since I was sixteen.”

He breached the gap between our mouths, his warm lips brushing over mine, tingles rushing south. He grazed his lips over mine once, twice, and then he nipped my bottom lip gently, before sweeping the tip of his tongue over the bite. I gasped, the erotic noise swallowed in his mouth as he closed it over mine. Jake slid his hand around my neck and into my hair, gently tugging me so I fell into his kiss, my hands resting on his chest.

His kiss was soft at first, almost hesitant, but as soon as I began moving my lips against his, telling him that I wanted this, the kiss changed. I felt his tongue flick lightly against mine and my fingers curled into his T-shirt in response. He teased me with those flicks until I was squirming in the dark for more, my arms sliding around his neck, my fingers tightening in his hair as I opened my mouth wider against his and licked his tongue in a deep, wet kiss that shattered what little thread of control he was holding onto.

Our kiss turned hard and hungry and Jake’s arms slid around my waist so he could crush me against his chest.

The leather of the sofa creaked at our movement but I would’ve barely noticed it if it hadn’t been for the harsh female voice from my left that whispered admonishingly, “This isn’t a hotel room.”

Jake and I pushed away from one another, our breathing heavy, my cheeks burning, as we gazed into each other’s wide eyes.

We both knew then that we were so screwed.

Somehow we got through the movie and then Jake walked me back to my building. We didn’t talk much and the entire time I was wondering if we were done with the whole moving slow thing and finally restarting our relationship. It occurred to me, now that I had a reminder of how combustible things were between us, I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted or not. Moving slow meant we didn’t really discuss the things that mattered or the problems that still existed between us. If we finally entered into something serious and real again, it would mean opening myself up completely to Jake.

That was a worrying thought.

However, when we reached my apartment, Jake stopped and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “If we’re going to keep up this whole taking-it-slow thing, maybe we shouldn’t hang out alone for the next couple of days.”

Part of me wanted to ask him why we were suddenly not just taking things slow but coming to an almost halt. At the cinema he’d seemed to be pretty adamant that glacial was bad.

I felt my brow pucker. He’d broken up with Melissa almost two months ago. Wasn’t that a respectful amount of time already?

And yet … the other part of me was almost relieved. It was a reprieve from having to let Jake in.

So I nodded, gave him a shaky smile, and walked up to my apartment feeling more confused than ever.

It all came to a head five days later.

The Stolen were playing at one of the student union venues—The Pleasance. It was a ten-minute walk down and then up from the Cowgate. Although I’d talked with Jake on the phone, I hadn’t seen him in days. In a way, it was nice for me and Claudia to hang out uninterrupted from the boys for a while, but I had to admit, walking into the bar and seeing Jake laughing with Rowena while the band set up caused a flurry of excited nerves.

When I reached Jake, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into him. He bent down to murmur in my ear, “God, I’ve missed you.”

I smiled and as I pulled back, I nodded to let him know I’d missed him too.

As the guys began to play, Jake put his arms around my waist and I leaned into him, my back to his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder, tracing ticklish patterns with the tips of his finger on my stomach through my thin T-shirt. I was lost in the feel of him, of the scent of his cologne, of the sound of his voice vibrating through me as he sang softly along with Lowe. It was no wonder I didn’t hear Rowena’s warning at first, not until she was tugging Jake back from me saying loudly and edgily, “Guys, the door.”

We jerked back from each other at the interruption, our breathing a little harried, and when we turned our heads toward the doorway, Jake instantly dropped my hand at the sight that greeted us.

Melissa.

She stood like a beacon in the crowd, flanked by two friends. The pain in her features made me want to crumple inside myself. I glanced up at Jake for direction but he was already making his way through the students toward his ex-girlfriend.

When he stopped beside her, she snapped at him, her eyes filling with tears as she gestured angrily toward me. Jake reached out to soothe her and she pulled on his shirt, her expression suddenly pleading. He ran a hand through his hair and nodded, nudging her toward the exit. Before he left with her, he mouthed an apology my way and held up his hand as if to say, “I’ll be five minutes.”

Just like that, our reunion was destroyed and all my happy was being eaten alive by guilt.

“Ye okay?” Rowena asked softly. She stood by Claudia’s side and the two of them were gazing at me in concern.

I shrugged. “I’m fine. He’ll be back soon.”

Unfortunately, Jake wasn’t back soon and I never got a text or a call as to why. By the time The Stolen’s set was finished, I still hadn’t heard anything from him and I was beginning to worry.

“I’ll walk Claudia home,” Denver offered as we were getting ready to leave the now-quiet bar. “You go back with the guys to their place. I’m sure he’s there.”

Deciding it was the best thing to do or I’d end up having another sleepless night, I followed Lowe, Beck, and Matt back to their apartment. Their common room was surprisingly clean considering a bunch of guys lived there, but then I remembered Beck telling me that Lowe was a bit of a clean freak.

Jake wasn’t there in amongst all the clean.

Lowe shrugged and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to me. “Just hang out here with us until he gets back.”

Feeling my annoyance building, I nodded but pulled out my phone and shot a text off to Jake asking him what was happening.

No reply.

The guys attempted to keep my mind off where they knew it was wandering—into irrational jealousy land where Jake was hooking up with his ex—but by one o’clock in the morning, I was starting to get pissed. And more worried. “Do you think something has happened to him?”

Beck frowned and shook his head. “Nah. They’re probably just hashing shit out.”

“They hashed shit out weeks ago. What else is there to say?” My shoulders slumped when they all looked anywhere but at me. “Look, I’m not a bitch, okay? The expression on Melissa’s face tonight … yeah. I hate that I’m a part of that. But we’re not even together, barely, and he’s already …”
Shutting me out
. I waved my phone at them, not saying out loud the words I was thinking.

When it hit two o’clock, I’d gone past feeling bad about being angry and was just plain mad. What the hell was he doing with her at two o’clock in the morning?

I shot to my feet. “I’m going to go,” I muttered, grabbing my coat.

“I’ll walk you,” Lowe insisted.

“No, it’s fine. It’s two minutes away.”

“I don’t care if it’s five seconds away. I’m walking you.”

Deciding to give into his chivalry, I was brittle as I marched out of the building. I couldn’t believe how terrible the night had been, a night I’d been looking forward to all week. A month into our “relationship” and Jake was already letting me down.

We’d barely taken two steps onto the pavement when Jake appeared around the corner. He saw us coming out of his building and started hurrying toward us.

My eyes narrowed on him, hating that he looked so good flushed from the cold, his eyes soulful and searching as he approached me. “Baby—”

“Save it,” I snapped, shaking my head and darting past him.

“I’ll walk her home,” Jake said sternly behind me.

I stopped and whirled around. “You will not. Lowe is walking me home.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Unless you want me and Lowe to have problems, you’ll let me see you home.”

Lowe held up his hands in a surrender gesture. “Sorry, Charley, but I’m exhausted. I’ll let Jake walk you home.”

“Traitor,” I grumbled to Lowe’s back as he hurried inside. My eyes flicked to Jake and I pinned him with my darkest glare to cover up my hurt. With a grunt of annoyance, I spun back around and started down the Cowgate toward my building.

Jake rushed to catch up. “Charley, let me explain—”

“Explain how you disappeared with your ex-girlfriend until two in the morning? Well, this should be good.”

“Don’t be like that,” he replied, a sharpness in his tone that told me he was pissed. “Mel’s having a difficult time letting go. She was trying to talk me into getting back together with her. I couldn’t leave her like that. It wasn’t exactly comfortable.”

Remembering the look on Melissa’s face, my shoulders slumped. “I don’t imagine it was,” I replied wearily, “but until two in the morning? And I texted you. You never replied.” I pushed open the door to my stairwell and started quickly up.

“I couldn’t. She was a mess. I was trying to handle it.”

“You were trying to be a good guy. I get it. But you broke up with her two months ago and if you’d been final like you said you were and explained everything like you said you did, Melissa wouldn’t have appeared tonight begging you to take her back. Which leads me to believe that your breakup must’ve been a little lukewarm, and if it was a little lukewarm, then what the hell are we doing here … taking it slow!” I hissed at him, shoving my key in the door.

I caught his glower before I pushed inside, hurrying down my hall to my bedroom. I wasn’t quick enough as I unlocked it and strode in with the intention of shutting it in his face. Jake shoved his way in and slammed it behind him.

“I have roommates,” I reminded him snippily.

“I couldn’t give a shit right now,” he growled. “Let’s rewind to the part where you think I don’t really want this with you.”

“Fine. Let’s do that.”

“You know what I think?” He stepped menacingly close, the air between us thick with ire and something much more powerful. “I think tonight I hurt you again and you know I didn’t mean to because you know I had to make sure that Melissa gets that we’re over and that I do that in the kindest way possible. I don’t think you’re angry about any of that. I think for the few hours I was away, you let yourself start to panic that I’m going to hurt you a whole lot worse than tonight. You started to panic because you still don’t trust me.”

I couldn’t say anything. I could barely catch my breath. Just like old times, Jake had read me, unbalanced me, and I didn’t know whether to haul him close or throw him out.

“You know what? I know I’ve got a lot to prove, but I’m still pissed, because I thought for sure you knew one simple truth.”

“And what’s that?” I asked, my body vibrating with Jake’s nearness.

“This.” His mouth slammed down on mine, his kiss hard and brutal and bruising as he wrapped a hand around my neck and yanked me against his body.

The familiar taste of him rushed through me and my body instantly lit up for him.

As I kissed Jake back, his kiss grew softer but no less heated, no less hungry, and suddenly we were tearing at one another’s clothes, desperate to meld skin to skin.

Our mouths broke apart as we tugged our sweaters off. Mine was barely gone when Jake’s strong hands were on my waist, caressing me, molding me, as if memorizing the shape of me. I pulled him back to my lips, my fingers digging into the golden smooth skin of his broad shoulders, my tongue licking his, urging him to control the kiss, to deepen it.

He answered my silent plea, our kiss wet and frantic, driven by the pure need to taste one another as deeply as possible. I gasped into his mouth, trying to catch my breath as he unhooked my bra. It slid slowly down my arms to the floor.

Goosebumps covered my breasts, my nipples erect in the cold air. I shivered but when Jake leaned back to stare down at me, a heated flush crept quickly back over my skin. I watched him in a lusty haze as he scraped his lower lip with his teeth, his study of me so intense the atmosphere between us blistered.