Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) (13 page)

“He was so tight on everything, and we only got one lift in the air for two seconds before he bailed. I have no idea what’s going to happen tonight.”

Quinn wandered over to the dessert case, and the girl working the counter struck up a conversation with her. I looked longingly at the brownies, thinking how much I could use the chocolate comfort.

“I wish I could be there to cheer for you guys,” Liza said.

“I know you’ll be watching online while you get ready in your room,” I said. She had her own short program to perform later that night. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been playing Barbie with Quinn so I don’t keep running my program in my head.”

“You’re going to be awesome. You’re so trained for this.”

Josh walked up, rolling his bag, and he looked as tense as he had when I’d left our room.

“Hey, Liza. Ready to go, Court?”

Quinn heard his voice and abandoned the desserts for him. “Good luck, Josh.”

His face relaxed a bit, and he ruffled Quinn’s curls. I gathered my bags and gave both Liza and Quinn hugs.

“Go get ‘em tonight.” I gave Liza an extra squeeze.

“You, too.”

Josh and I boarded the bus and rode in silence for the short trip to the arena. I wasn’t going to keep asking if he was okay because I knew the answer. His knees hadn’t stopped bouncing since we’d taken our seats.

Once we arrived at the arena, we each plugged in our iPods and set off on a light jog through the backstage corridors. My heart rate was more elevated than usual as we jogged and stretched the minutes away. The anxiety of not knowing how Josh would react come show time was burning a hole in my stomach.

Em and Sergei had arrived while we warmed up, and they stood along the wall, observing us. When Josh went to the locker room to store his iPod, Em pulled me aside.

“You hanging in okay?” she asked.

“Not really. I don’t know what’s going to happen out there. Josh was freaked out just from skating in the near-empty arena. How’s he going to handle the crowd? He might have a panic attack in the middle of the program.”

“We’re going to do everything we can to put him at ease.”

“He was doing so well, and then that stupid video jacked it all up.” My voice rose with each word.

Em put her hands on both sides of my face. “You have to stay calm. Josh needs you to be steady and confident. He needs your positive energy.”

I kept my eyes on her unblinking stare and slowed my breathing with a long inhale and exhale. Em was right. I had to get it together and help Josh through this.

He returned from the locker room, and we walked through our program on the floor, engaging in minimal conversation. Em and Sergei gave us constant encouragement and continued to do so after we donned our costumes. We worked our way to the edge of the ice for the six-minute warm-up, and I watched Josh’s eyes pan over the crowd. His Adam’s apple dipped slowly as he took a hard swallow.

Please don’t freak out. Please don’t freak out.

“Would the following couples please take the ice,” the announcer boomed.

We heard our names and hopped onto the ice, surrounded by the audience’s loud cheers. We quickly accelerated and let our matching strokes take us around the rink. Sergei had told us to practice the twist and our jumps first, so we dodged the other three teams to prepare for the twist. We completed it cleanly and moved on to the Salchows, where Josh tripped and stumbled through the landing.

My stomach flip-flopped, knowing the element we had to practice next. We stopped at the boards for sips of water, and Josh’s hand shook as he capped his bottle. Em cupped his shoulder.

“Just take your time. Focus on the technique and nothing else,” she said.

He nodded, and we found an open space on the ice to set up for the lift. Josh’s sweaty palms gripped mine, and I wasn’t surprised when he released me a moment later. With the crowd buzzing and three other pairs whizzing around us, there was entirely too much chaos for him.

“Keep going,” I said. “Let’s do the death spiral.”

We spent the final minutes of the warm-up checking off our other elements, and as the clock hit zero I took Josh’s hands and made him face me. We were first in the group to skate, so I had only a few moments to try to get through to him.

“Do you remember what Stephanie said?” I looked firmly into his eyes. “This is home. The ice is
our
home.”

I saw him processing that truth, and I squeezed his hands. “Nothing in the past matters. Only this moment and you and me. We are in total control.”

He stared back at me, his blue eyes showing his fight to clear the doubt. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tight to his body, and we only parted when the announcer started our introduction. We took our place at center ice, and I prayed one last time we would get through the program without disaster.

The music began, and we glided along to the opening piano notes, skating into the triple twist without much speed. I spun three times as quickly as I could and dropped into Josh’s fumbling catch. My pulse kicked into a higher gear as I worried the clumsy exit was a sign of things to come.

Our speed increased as we circled the rink in preparation for the side-by-side jumps. We pushed off from the ice, and I tried to watch Josh to see if he would land cleanly. With my focus on him, I slipped off my own landing edge and splatted onto the ice. Meanwhile, Josh had completed the Salchow perfectly.

Nice going, Court. Way to be steady and on your game.

I scrambled to my feet and met up with Josh. There was no time to dwell on the mistake because the throw triple flip loomed. Josh moved behind me and grasped my hips, and when I jabbed the ice with my toe pick, he sprang me into the air. I put all my focus on coming down on a clean edge, and I didn’t botch the landing that time.

We curved into the straight-line footwork, and with the lift coming next, I channeled my nervous energy into achieving level-four steps. By the time we finished skating from one end of the rink to the other, my heart was pounding both from exhaustion and fear of what Josh was going to do. Or not do.

We came around the corner of the rink and joined hands for the lasso entry. I held my breath, anticipating all the possible outcomes, but praying for the best. Before I realized what was happening, Josh had swung me up over his head. I was airborne!

I exhaled and held on fiercely as he began to rotate, but I held my breath again when I changed positions, setting my hand on his shoulder. That had been the moment when the lift had gone terribly wrong at Skate America.

Josh’s feet crawled across the ice, but he was moving! The audience’s cheers were the loudest yet, and they grew to a roar when Josh gently set me down. They understood the importance of that element to us. Josh’s eyes were wide but shining so brightly, and I broke into a huge smile.

The side-by-side spins and the death spiral were a blur as all I could think about was giving Josh the biggest hug I’d ever given him. We spun into our ending pose, and I threw my arms around him as if we had won the Olympics. He buried his face in my hair and shook with tears. That made my chest burst with emotion and set off a cascade of waterworks in my eyes.

I had never received a standing ovation for an imperfect performance, but the crowd was on its feet, acknowledging the tough road we had travelled. We bowed to every side of the arena and hugged each other again as we skated to the boards. Em and Sergei had wet eyes, too, and they embraced us and choked out, “So proud of you” over and over through their tears.

We sat in the kiss and cry to wait for our score, but I didn’t care about the numbers. We could be in last place and I’d still feel victorious. I linked my arm through Josh’s, and he laced our fingers together and leaned close to my ear.

“Thank you,” he said.

I turned to face him. “For what?”

He rested his forehead on mine. “For giving me all your patience.”

“I told you I’ll always be by your side. No matter what.”

He kissed the top of my head, and we looked up at the monitor as our score was announced. The numbers were respectable, and with only a few teams left to skate, we sat in sixth place.

“Sorry about the Sal,” I said. “That was such a stupid mistake.”

“Are you kidding? Don’t even think of apologizing after all the angst I put you through.”

Em and Sergei motioned for us to follow them backstage, and they hugged us again. Sergei kept his arm around me and patted my shoulder.

“Don’t worry about the jump,” he said. “We couldn’t be happier with how you both skated. You showed so much courage today.”

“I can’t thank you guys enough.” Josh looked between Em and Sergei. “You never got frustrated with me. Not even when I wanted to slap myself upside the head.”

Em laughed and rubbed his back. “We always knew you had the strength to rise above it. We just wanted to give you the support you needed.”

Neither Josh nor I could stop smiling as we left them and met the media. When we finished in the mixed zone, we changed and headed upstairs to look for Stephanie, my parents, and Mrs. Cassar. Stephanie found us first.

“Thanks for scaring me to death in the warm-up.” She punched Josh’s arm but then hugged him. “I thought I was going to have to run onto the ice and talk you through it again.”

“Court used some of your wise words to help me,” Josh said.

Stephanie turned to me with raised eyebrows and an actual look of approval. I’d take any little bit of further progress between us.

“You know, you guys are only a few points out of fourth place. The rest of the competition was a disaster,” she said. “You can still get a medal.”

“You want us to win a medal?” Josh asked with grin.

“I’m in favor of anything that will irritate Mom. She’s been so obnoxious lately.”

I stifled a laugh.
Lately?

“We’d love to be on the podium, but we just want to enjoy the long now that the pressure is off,” Josh said.

“Definitely,” I agreed. “At this point, a medal would just be a huge bonus.”

“Well, if you could try to make it happen that would be fabulous.” Stephanie put her hand on her chest. “I’d love nothing more than to go home and tell Mom I was pivotal in your success.”

I laughed to myself again. Stephanie was probably going to take credit for every achievement we had from then on.

But, hey, it’s
much better than her spitting
on
our partnership.

While she and Josh chatted, I watched Josh laugh and smile, and a deep surge of happiness filled me. I couldn’t wait to get back on the ice with him and skate our long program. We’d worked so long and so hard to have that moment, and we wouldn’t have any more worries weighing us down. We could skate with our focus all on one thing — showing our love for each other.

Chapter Twelve

I looked up at Josh and pinched my hand to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I had skated our long program time and again in my head, yearning for the chance to perform it under the bright lights, in front of a cheering crowd. That moment had finally come.

We stood in the middle of the ice, me in a flowy, cream-colored dress and Josh in a matching shirt and beige pants. We looked like Lizzie and Mr. Darcy as we prepared to skate to music from the movie
Pride and Prejudice
. Josh wasn’t brooding like Mr. Darcy, though. He was gazing at me with an abundance of love. The happiness I felt combined with all the competition adrenaline had my pulse going haywire.

On the second joyful note of the music, we began our equally joyful steps. The positive energy flowing through both of us led us to complete our difficult opening elements easily. Josh pressed me into the air for the star lift, and he turned smoothly over the ice. His confidence had returned to the level he’d had at home.

He set me down, and we slowed as the music transitioned to my favorite piece on the soundtrack. Josh had used our love story as his inspiration when choreographing the program, and the bubbly first section represented our blossoming friendship. The second section, set to the slow and romantic “Your Hands Are Cold,” showed us falling in love.

Josh swept me into his arms, and we were so close our noses touched. His eyes dropped to my lips, and for a second I lost myself completely in him and the music. The passion burning between us overwhelmed me. I wanted nothing more than to bottle that moment because it was absolute perfection.

We had to break apart to move into our spirals, and some of my nervous energy resurfaced. Our double Axel sequence coming up was one of our iffiest elements. We skated side by side, each of us setting up for the jump’s forward entry. On the same beat, we launched ourselves into the air and spun two-and-a-half times. As soon as we landed, we repeated the jump. Josh landed the second one slightly after I did, but I still fist pumped inside. We would have plenty of time to work on our unison for the future.

Josh took my hand, and we hit our lasso lift right on the crescendo of the music. My heart soared as high as my position in the air. I flew above the ice with deafening applause all around me, and I had only one thought —
Does
the program have to end?

We sailed through the rest of the elements, and we came together hand in hand, eyes locked on one another, for the final soft notes. Josh enveloped me in an embrace, and I rested my head on his chest as the music ended. The crowd roared with cheers, but we didn’t move. I closed my eyes and pressed myself against him, soaking in his warmth and the surrounding mania we had inspired.

“I love you,” Josh said.

I lifted my head and kissed his lips. “I love you, too.”

I floated on a cloud through our bows, the kiss and cry, and the interviews backstage. We were in first place with the final group of four teams left to skate, so we had moved up at least one spot. We were headed upstairs when my phone rang, and I saw the caller was my former partner.

“Hey, Mark.”

“Hey, congratulations. You guys were great.”

I smiled at his enthusiasm. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”