Lost in You (24 page)

“Who’s the girl?”

No answer.

He leans forward, pulling my chin up so that I’m looking him in the eye. I try to move away, but he’s pinching me, holding me in place.

“I suggest you answer, boy, because in case you’ve forgotten, you live under my roof.”

“I h
aven’t forgotten,” I mumble. He releases my chin. I try to rub it on my shoulder to relieve the pressure, but it doesn’t do enough to ease the ache. I’m sure I’ll have a bruise there now, too. I wonder what my mom will say when she sees me. Probably nothing, I’m sure. She’ll sit on the floor and pray, asking God to forgive her son and all his sins. She’ll shut down, stare out the window and act like I don’t exist.

“Where were you going?”

“Nowhere.”

He slams his hand down on the table. I hope he broke it.

“Answer me.”

“I did.”

He rubs his face and sighs, though he hasn’t ever cared before. He makes things this complicated, it’s not like he’s ever sat down and asked me how I’m doing or paid a bit of attention to me. I’ve just been another mouth to feed and someone he’s had to put second-hand clothes on.

“I’ll ask you again. Who’s the girl?”

I shake my head. That’s one question I’m not willing to answer. If he wants to beat me, so be it, but he’s not getting any information about Hadley.

“You’re not going to
tell me? You don’t think I already know about you and her. You don’t think I know that you’ve been sneaking out of your room at night since September, that you’ve spent the night with that whore?”

I look up when he calls her a whore; she’s anything but. “G
o to hell. You don’t know shit about our relationship,” I say through gritted teeth.

He stands, his chair colliding with the wall. He leans over the table, his hands flat, arms spread out wide. He’s intending to scare me and I’m sure he would be if I weren
’t so pissed off.

“You’re seventeen years old. She’s an adult. She’s a pedophile. She’s the type your mother and I have been protecting you from. Any adult who takes advantage of a young, innocent boy deserves to rot in the fires of hell.”

I bite my lip to keep from screaming out, but I can’t hold back. “You’re wrong. You’re so wrong. You don’t know shit about her I. She didn’t take advantage of me. She fought me every time I tried something with her. I want to be with her and she wants to be with me and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re so screwed up in your own world that you have no idea what life is like for me. I hate you. I hate that I’m seventeen years old and the first girl to show me any attention, the first one to see ME, you try to do all you can to ruin it.”

The door opens and in walks a lady dressed in a suit, carrying a briefcase. My dad eyes her up and down and shakes his head. He’s such a chauvinistic pig. I wonder how I didn’t turn out like him. Moreover, I wonder how my mother ca
n stay married to someone like him.

“I didn’t hire a lawyer,” my dad spews.

“No one said you did, Mr. Stone. I’m here on behalf of Miss Carter. She’s retained me to represent Ryan.”

“No, your services aren’t needed. You can leave.”

“Very well.” Only she doesn’t leave. She sets down her briefcase on the table and looks at me. “Ryan, I need you to tell me to go. You’re old enough to consent to have a lawyer present and Miss Carter has asked that I assist you in any way needed. The choice is yours.”

I look f
rom her to my dad. His face is red. His hands are clenched at his sides. I know that if I ask this lady to stay, things at home aren’t going to be good. I should probably start fearing for my life once I walk out of these doors, but I also know Officer Daniels can press charges against me and I’ll need help with that.

Either way, I’m screwed. One thing I do know is that I want out of these handcuffs and I think this lady is my ticket.

“Ryan, don’t you dare.” My dad knows what I’m about to do and for the life of me I can’t understand why he doesn’t want me to have help. Does he plan for me to sit in jail or do an excessive amount of community service? Why wouldn’t he want me to have a lawyer to help me out of this mess that I’m in? That’s what dads should want for their kids.

I look at the lawyer, who is ignoring my dad. I like her already. “You can stay.” She nods and pulls out the chair next to me, sitting down. She opens her briefcase and pulls out some papers, slamming it shut. I jump, my nerves getting
the best of me.

“My son is a minor. You need to leave.”

“Your son is of sound mind and at the age of consent. He doesn’t need your permission.”

“Consent for what? He’s not an adult.”

“Mr. Stone, I’m going to ask you to leave if you can’t be quiet.”

“Again,
lady, he’s not an adult. He doesn’t know what’s good for him.”

“Mr. Stone, I assure you that what you have planned with the police department here will not work. I’ve seen the report you filed and I intend have it withdrawn.”

“You can’t.” My dad leans over the table and points his finger at her. “That whore raped my son and she’ll pay.”

“WHAT?!”
I yell. “She did no such thing. Are you crazy?” I try to stand, but having my hands in cuffs proves this to be a difficult task.

The lawyer
puts her hand on my shoulder and waves her other hand in the air. The door opens as if she was a magician and another officer comes in. “Please escort Mr. Stone out so I can speak with my client.”

“Let’s go, Joe.”

“This is bullshit. That’s my son.”

“I kno
w, but the law’s the law.” The officer, who I’ve never seen before, follows my dad out of the room. His voice grows louder and louder as he shouts throughout the station.

“I’m Jessica Danville. As I said earlier, Miss Carter has retained me. Now, while I d
on’t know her personally, my firm, which has offices all over the world, has represented her for years. I’m here to help, Ryan. Your father has made some very serious accusations against our client and we’d like to get this cleaned up.”

I take in what she’
s saying, repeating the words over in my head. She’s not here to help me, but to make sure everything is okay with Hadley. I’m not sure how to process that.

“Can someone take off these handcuffs?”

“Sure.” She gets up, goes to the door and opens it. The officer that took my father out comes in and takes off the handcuffs. My arms ache from being in the same position and my wrists are red, the skin rubbed raw from the metal. I lean forward and rest my head down on my arms, willing the pain to go away. I’m not angry anymore, just emotionally drained. I feel like I could cry for hours if I let myself, but I won’t. I can’t.

When she sits back down, she rubs my back. I really don’t want her touching me, but right now she’s the only friend I have in here.

“Am I going to jail?” I ask. My voice echoes against the table because I’m too ashamed to look her in the eye and ask that question.

“No, Ryan, no one is going to jail. Chief Ross has spoken to Officer Daniels and he is willing to forego pressing charges against
you. You have a good ally in Chief Ross.”

I pick my head up, resting my chin on my arm. “Well, that’s good. What my dad said about Hadley, that’s not true. She didn’t do anything like that to me.”

“Tell me about your relationship.”

I sit up and look at th
e mirror. I wonder if Hadley is on the other side or if it’s my father telling anyone who will listen to him that I can’t speak for myself.

“Everything you say in here is private. They can’t use it against you.”

I nod. “We met at her show and she invited my friend, Dylan and I, to her hotel room for an after-party. We’ve been seeing each other ever since.”

“Sounds like a whirlwind romance.”

I shrug. I don’t know what it sounds like, except it was destined to fail from the start.

“When can I see Hadley?” I
need to see her, to know that she’s okay.

Jessica opens her briefcase and pulls out a sheet of paper, laying it in front of me and hands me a pen.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“Just a document I need you to sign. It states that anything that has happened betwee
n you and Miss Carter will be kept confidential. Once you leave here, you’re not to speak to or seek out any contact with her until you become of legal age.”

I push the paper away and shake my head. “No! There’s no way Hadley is okay with me signing this.”

“She is and she asked us to draw it up. It’s for the best. She wants you to sign it, Ryan. She needs to put what happened tonight behind her and focus on her upcoming tour.”

I can’t stop shaking my head. Tears come and I don’t fight them. “She doesn’t lov
e me?”

“That’s not why I’m here. You sign this and you’re free to go. No charges will be filed for assaulting an officer and everything goes back to the way it was before you crossed paths with Miss Carter.”

Everything goes back to the way it was.

Everything.

No more Hadley. No more wondering if she’s with someone else. No more beating myself up over why she’s with me. I continue being the nobody that I’ve always been and she continues being everyone’s sweetheart. She continues to live her life while I suffer the heartache of letting myself love her when I knew it was a mistake.

“This is what Hadley wants,” Jessica says as she pushes the paper forward.

I reluctantly scribble my name and set the pen down and count. Ten seconds and the piece of paper is in her briefcase, the pen in her hand and she’s up and out the door without even looking at me.

I get up and follow her out. “Wait,” I yell, but she doesn’t turn around. I see Hadley, she’s there signing something at the counter. “Hadley?”

She turns and looks at me, before turning back and taking keys from the desk clerk. She doesn’t look at me again as she walks toward the door of the police station flanked by Jessica and a man I don’t know. She turns briefly before exiting, but gives me no sign that everything will be okay.

The door slams, sealing her off from me.

Hadley

Hearing Ryan call my name was almost enough for me to nix this whole deal, but when I looked at him, battered and bruised because of me, I knew I had made the right deci
sion. My heart, though, definitely isn’t agreeing with my head. I can’t close my eyes because when I do, all I see is him. His face, sad and tear-stained is staring back at me asking me why, begging me for an answer. I want to ask the lawyer who’s driving to turn around so I can go back to him and tell him that I’m sorry, that I didn’t mean it, but I can’t. I’m nothing but poison to him. I should’ve known better from the start. Clearly my relationship with Coleman is the prime example of how screwed up everything is when I’m around. He’s nothing, but I couldn’t even keep him happy.

I hand my keys to the lawyer. I’m so bad I don’t even remember his name. I know he told me when he slammed his briefcase down on the table and started ranting about how he’s up at
the ass crack of dawn to come save some spoiled brat. I didn’t argue because it’s true. I had no choice but to call Ian. My parents couldn’t get me out of this jam; only he could. When I told him what was going on all he said is that he’d take care of it. I expected him to yell and say ‘I told you so’, but he didn’t. I don’t think he even sighed or said my name. Moments later this guy walks in and my life changes.

He gets out and retrieves my bag from the rental. I refuse to drive the car back to the airp
ort. I’ll pay the fine. I don’t care. I can’t get into that car. Not after everything that happened, and everything that didn’t. He stopped us, not me. I was ready and didn’t care. I wanted him. I needed him. I still do, but I can’t have him. Not now, not ever.

I can’t look at the church either, too many memories. That’s what I see.
The two of us standing under the tree, him leaning into me. Holding me as if I’m the most precious thing he’s ever seen. I am to him, at least. To me, I’m nothing but trash. I don’t deserve the decency I’m being afforded right now. These highly paid suits coming in to make everything go away because of who I am. That’s not right. Breaking his heart shouldn’t have been just a simple piece of paper. I should’ve had the guts to walk up to him and tell him I’m leaving. Give him an explanation about why we aren’t going to work and how the age thing is just too much. But I’m a coward. I know he’d say that his birthday is soon and we can hold out. He’s right, I should be able to, but I can’t.

We stop at an area rest stop so I can freshen up. I have no doubt my arrest has hit the social media sites. I guess Ian is at least prepared for it. I found it ironic that the officer who interviewed me is Dylan’s dad. Of course, I only found out a
fter he told me in the interview room how upset I made his daughter when I started dating Ryan. I knew she liked him, but there’s a difference between her and I – Ryan loves me and I love him – I just can’t show it right now.

I’m changed and somewhat clean
ed up and back in the car. I’m being dropped at the airport where I’m to catch a flight to New York to see my parents. We're having a family meeting without Ian. He’ll fly in tomorrow sometime with Cole so we can start this tour. I can’t imagine what Ian has told my parents. I don’t really care, because honestly, I think they're going to be disappointed with me regardless. It won’t be so much about Ryan, but about the way I handled myself. I know better and should’ve acted with more maturity and not let my hormones dictate what I did. I could’ve easily waited until he turned eighteen and just come back, but no, I had to have him, keep him like he was some type of souvenir.