Love Comes in Darkness (3 page)

“You’re riding with me,” Hanna said cheerfully.

“Yup,” Howard agreed, pulling the door closed.

“Daddy said naughty words,” she whispered. “He was talking to you on the phone and he swore a lot.” Hanna giggled. “He said—”

“You don’t say those words,” Howard told her lightly. “They’re not nice, but under the circumstances probably appropriate.”

“Was Mr. Cedric naughty?” Hanna asked.

“Yes,” Ken said, and the car bounced slightly, telling Howard that Patrick and Ken were sitting down. Then both doors closed and Ken started the engine. “He left Uncle Howard by the side of the road.”

Hanna gasped. “Why?” she asked, but no one answered. “What a loser.”

“Exactly,” Howard said, giving Hanna a hug.

“So he isn’t your boyfriend anymore?” Hanna asked.

“Nope,” Howard answered her.

“Good. He always looked greasy.”

Patrick and Ken laughed from the front seat. Ken pulled out into traffic and made a series of turns. Howard was able to determine that they were turning around. They didn’t talk much as they rode. Of course, Patrick was naturally quiet. A few times Howard heard Hanna giggle and occasionally he felt her touch him. “Patrick says it’s getting late, and with the party tomorrow, he wants to know if you would like to stay in the guest room tonight.”

“That would be nice. Thank you. I’ll need to get a few things from home first.” With Cedric living just down the street, he wasn’t particularly interested in spending the evening alone.

“Yay,” Hanna said and hugged Howard’s arm. “I have things I want to show you.”

“Okay,” Howard agreed.

They rode on the highway for a while before Ken made a series of turns, then stopped the car and told Howard they’d reached his house.

“I’ll just be a few minutes,” Howard said.

“Do you need help?” Ken asked.

“I know where everything is. But I was wondering if you could look at the outside of the house. We had that storm a few days ago, and I want to make sure there wasn’t any damage.”

“Of course,” Ken said. Howard got out of the car, feeling a bit naked and lost without his cane. Patrick was right there, though, taking his hand and gently guiding him up the walk.

“I got it from here,” Howard said, patting Patrick’s arm. Patrick humphed twice, and Howard walked to the front door. He pulled his keys out of his pocket, found the lock, and opened the door. Howard listened for any unusual sounds and heard nothing except the soft hum of the refrigerator kicking on in the kitchen. He closed the door and took a careful step, feeling the rug beneath his feet. He took another step and bumped into something.

Smooth fabric beneath his hand told him it was his favorite chair. Something wasn’t right. That belonged on the other side of the room, in front of the large window, so he could sit in it and feel the warmth of the sun. Cautiously, he moved around the chair and took another step, then another. Again he bumped into something, this time resulting in a crash that made him jump. He turned around and carefully retraced his steps back to the door.

“Is something wrong?” Ken asked, coming up the walk.

“Things aren’t where they’re supposed to be,” Howard said.

“Let me take a look,” Ken said, and Howard let him go in first. “Everything has been moved. That son of a bitch. Does Cedric have a key to your house?”

“I never gave him one,” Howard said.

“Well, I’d say he has one. Everything has been moved. There’s a broken glass bowl on the floor,” Ken said, guiding him forward. “Just sit here. I’m going to clean this up and then get Patrick and Hanna. We’ll get things put back where they go if you can tell us where you want everything. Then we’ll wait while you pace things out again.”

“Cedric kept saying I needed help,” Howard said helplessly. He couldn’t even find his way around his own house.

“The only thing you need is a boyfriend who isn’t a total shit,” Ken said as glass crunched. “I’ll be right back.” Ken walked away, and then Howard heard him return. “I know there are things that are difficult for you to do. You know that too, but that doesn’t mean you need to become dependent on someone like Cedric.” Howard heard the soft swish of the broom and clinking as Ken swept up the glass. Ken left once again, and when he returned, Howard traced his progress through the house and to the door, where Ken called Hanna and Patrick. “Be careful, but we need to help Howard get his things back to normal.”

Patrick humphed twice, and then Howard heard furniture being moved.

“Hanna, sit with Uncle Howard and keep him company,” Ken said, and when Hanna took his hand, Howard lifted her onto his lap.

“Daddy Patrick wants to know where the green lamp goes,” Hanna told him.

“I don’t do green. Can you bring it to me?” Howard asked. The base of the lamp was cool, rough, and very familiar. “It goes in the corner on the small chest. The shade should almost touch both walls, but not quite.” More furniture moved.

“The sofa goes under the side window, and the chair they’re sitting in goes right there,” Ken said.

“Daddy Patrick says Cedric is a real… Daddy Patrick, I can’t say that.” There was a pause where Howard figured they were communicating by exchanging signs. “He says Cedric is the south end of a horse going north.” Hanna giggled, and Howard held her close. She was a very sweet little girl.

“Do you think you can guide me to my bedroom?” Howard asked Hanna.

“The other rooms seem to be okay,” Ken told him. “But it wouldn’t hurt to have someone go with you just to make sure.” There was a slight pause. “Take good care of Uncle Howard and guide him just like he showed you.”

“I will, Daddy,” Hanna said before adding, “I’m not a baby.”

“Just be careful,” Ken said, and Hanna climbed off Howard’s lap. She took his hand and waited for him to stand up before walking in front of him. They moved slowly.

“There’s a table straight ahead,” she said as she guided him off to the side. Thankfully, everything again seemed to be where the map in his head said it should be, so he was able to anticipate things. Once they got to his bedroom door, Howard turned the knob and opened it.

“What does it look like?”

Hanna gasped, and Howard wondered what Cedric had done. “Your bedspread is pink. I love it.” Then Hanna began to giggle. “You’re a boy and you have a pink bedspread.”

“I found it in my mother’s things when she died,” Howard said. “I don’t understand colors, Hanna, just how things feel, and the spread felt soft and comfortable, so that’s why I use it.”

His explanation was initially greeted with silence. “Oh. Then that’s okay. The kids at school picked on one of the boys for wearing pink. I like pink.”

Howard stepped to the bed and ran his hand over the spread. “I like pink too,” he said, and Hanna giggled. “Does the rest of the room look okay?”

“There’s no mess or anything like that. Daddy said you were having a sleepover at our house,” Hanna said.

“That’s true, and I need to pack a few things,” Howard said. He walked to his closet and opened the door. In his home, everything had a place. He always had to put things back exactly where they belonged or he’d never be able to find them again. When you couldn’t see, finding lost items equated to one of the levels of hell. Howard located his small bag and set it on the bed. Then he opened his drawers and carefully put a few things into the bag. Before she’d died, his mother had taught him to organize and label his clothes. Howard still used that same system, and he deftly found exactly what he wanted.

“Do you see with your hands?” Hanna asked from behind him.

“Sort of,” Howard answered. “Do you want me to show you?”

“Okay.” He felt her bound over.

“Close your eyes,” Howard said. He felt for Hanna’s hand and put one of his socks in it. “Don’t open your eyes; just tell me what you feel.”

“It’s soft and comfy,” Hanna said.

“Yes. But can you tell what color it is without looking?” Howard asked, of course knowing the answer.

“No, but it feels pink,” she said, and Howard chuckled.

“Okay,” Howard said, taking back the sock and putting it with its mate. “What color does this one feel like?” Howard asked, passing a rough wool sock into Hanna’s hand.

“Blucky brown,” Hanna said, and Howard laughed. “I hate brown.”

“Okay, now open your eyes and tell me what color they really are,” Howard said.

“The first one was blue and the second one was gray,” Hanna answered.

“See? Things feel one way and may look another,” Howard said as he put the socks away and carefully closed the drawer.

“So stuff has a feel color and a real color,” Hanna informed him, and Howard chuckled again. “You only know the feel color.”

“Sort of. Since I can’t see, color doesn’t hold any meaning for me. As long as they feel the same, I could put on a black sock and a red sock and not know the difference. When I was young, the other kids used to make fun of me, and my mother used to dress me all the time so my clothes would match and I wouldn’t look funny. Now that I’m grown up, I don’t care if I look funny.”

Hanna was quiet, and for a few seconds he thought she might have left the room without him realizing it. “You’re not funny, Uncle Howard. You’re special, like Daddy Patrick. He doesn’t talk, but he uses his hands to speak. You’re blind, but you use your hands to see.”

“And you are a very smart young lady,” Howard said as he closed his bag.

“I’ll carry it for you,” Hanna said.

“How about I carry that for him, and you go out to the car and get ready to go,” Ken said pleasantly from the doorway.

“Okay, Daddy. Are we going to stop for ice cream like you promised?”

Howard didn’t hear Ken’s answer to Hanna, but he did hear her rush through the house. “We have your living room as close to normal as we can get it,” Ken said. He thought Ken had taken his hand, but by the roughness, Howard realized it was Patrick. He pressed something rough and cold into Howard’s hand. “That’s your key. Patrick got it back from Cedric.”

“Thank you,” Howard said, and Patrick made “
you’re welcome”
signs against his palm.

“He also got your cane. It’s out by the door. I think Patrick put the fear of God into him. So he’ll leave you alone.”

“I hope so,” Howard said. Cedric had certainly shown his true self today.

“Let’s go. We’ll make sure the house is locked, and when we bring you home, we’ll also make sure you know where everything is before we leave.”

Howard stepped gingerly toward the door, expecting something to bar his way at any second, but he made it without incident. Then he paused. “I need my computer. I have some work I need to get done.”

“Is it in the office?” Ken asked.

“Yes. It’s the laptop on my desk. Please leave the others where they are.”

“Then go on to the car. I’ll put this in the trunk and get it for you.”

Howard extended the cane Patrick handed to him and made his way outside. When they got close to the street, Patrick guided him toward the door and Howard got inside, sitting next to Hanna once again. “Your dad said you had to go to the hospital,” Howard said to her once he was seated and the door closed.

“Yeah,” she half whined. “I got to see Dr. Pierson, the oncology lady.”

“I take it you like her?” Howard said.

“She’s nice, but she always has them stick me with needles, and they like to look at me with big machines,” Hanna said.

“It’s so they can make sure you don’t get sick again,” Howard explained. Then he leaned closer. “I don’t like doctors either. When I was a child, my parents sent me to tons of them, trying to find one who could let me see again. But they all said the same thing, that it was impossible. But that didn’t stop them from trying, because they wanted the best for me.”

“I know. Daddy doesn’t want me to get sick again. I don’t want to get sick again either. Last time all my hair fell out and I looked ugly.”

“You could never be ugly,” Howard said. “You’ll always be pretty.” Hanna didn’t respond, and a few seconds later he heard and felt things being placed in the trunk, and then the lid was closed. Patrick and Ken got inside, their doors closing one right after the other. The engine started, and they began to move.

“So what were you two talking about?” Ken asked as he drove.

“We were talking about going to the doctor,” Howard said. “Neither of us finds it a pleasant experience. So we need ice cream. Lots of ice cream.” Hanna giggled.

The drive to Pleasanton didn’t take long, and once they got off the highway and made a number of turns, they pulled to a stop. “All out for ice cream,” Ken called, and Hanna cheered. Howard opened the car door, and Patrick helped him out of the car. From the sound of things, there were quite a few people around, and Patrick guided him to a table, where Howard sat down. Then he pulled out his wallet, felt for a specific folded corner, and handed a bill to Patrick.

“This is a twenty, right?” he asked, and Patrick humphed twice. “Good, let me pay for the treats after putting you through all this.” He half expected an argument, which with Patrick consisted of some rapid deep sounds and tapping on his arm, but he got none of that. Instead, Patrick signed “
thank you”
on his hand.

“Howard?” a deep voice said, and Howard stiffened in excitement, recognizing the voice.

“Gordy?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I live nearby. I see you’re okay,” Gordy said.

“Yes. Patrick and Ken are taking good care of me. Much better than Cedric,” Howard explained. “I wanted to thank you again for helping me. You didn’t have to, and it was very nice. I’m lucky you came along.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Gordy said, and as Howard tried to figure out what he meant, Ken and Hanna came up to the table, chattering away.

“Ken, Hanna, Patrick,” he began, knowing somehow that the silent man was behind them. “You remember Gordy. He helped me earlier today.”

“Of course. Good to see you again. We’d shake hands, but our hands are full. Please sit down and join us if you’d like.” Ken placed a cup in Howard’s hand. “Mint chocolate chip, right?” Ken said, and Howard smiled.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Gordy said, even as Howard slid over to make room.