Love Comes in Darkness (4 page)

“You’re not,” Ken said, and Howard felt and smelled Gordy sit down next to him. As quietly as he could, so Gordy wouldn’t know, Howard inhaled. Gordy smelled of soap and a touch of cologne, overlying the scent of man—deep, rich, and decidedly male. Howard shivered a bit in the warmth and shifted, hoping to hide any physical reaction.

Howard took a careful bite of his ice cream, cautiously feeling his way so he didn’t make a mess. “What do you do, Gordy?” Howard asked quietly. He knew that sighted people communicated a great deal through looks and gestures. He’d had a number of people try to explain them, but without any sort of reference, they were lost on him. Howard had accepted his blindness many years ago. As a teenager, he’d railed against it a few times, but mostly he accepted who he was, limitations and all. But right now he wanted even a brief peek at what Gordy was doing.

“He’s making goo-goo eyes at you,” Hanna said from across from him and then burst into a fit of giggles.

“Hush, you. That’s not nice,” Ken said.

“But he was. He was looking at Uncle Howard the way you look at Daddy Patrick when you think I’m not looking,” Hanna said and giggled once more. “Aunt Julianne calls it making doe eyes at each other.”

“She does, huh?” Ken said, laughing, and then peals of laughter broke out. “Is that what she says?”

“Sorry,” Howard said as the laughter continued.

“It’s okay,” Gordy said, joining in the laughter. “I was making eyes at you.” There was a bit of laughter in Gordy’s voice, and Howard wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. “To answer your question, I’m the Pleasanton town engineer. It’s my job to make sure all the public buildings, bridges, and things like that are safe and kept in proper repair. What do you do?”

“Uncle Howard makes computers talk,” Hanna said before Howard could answer.

“Is that right?” Gordy asked.

“Yes. I received some of the first text-to-speech programs years ago, and they weren’t very good. They could read the words fairly well, but they sounded like the robot voice from a bad sixties television show. Actually, the television show sounded better,” Howard quipped, and he was rewarded with a deep chuckle from Gordy. “I was looking for a project and decided to try to make the computer voices sound more realistic. I know there are probably limits, but we definitely weren’t there yet. So I had numerous people read the same phrases and used that to develop common inflections, which I added to the programs. I also developed ways to make the speech sound more fluid, so it sounds like a thought rather than just a collection of words.”

“That’s so cool. I have a GPS in my car and the voice sounds so fake and at times unclear. ‘Turn reft on Negent.’ Does it mean right or left? Sometimes it says, ‘Turn rieft on James.’”

“That’s because the computer is reading the gh in ‘right’ and it sometimes gets confused,” Howard said. “That’s the problem. The computer is reading only the words and the letters in the words as opposed to the phrase the way we do. By breaking everything down into its components like that, the computer gets it wrong, and sometimes it isn’t understandable. That’s what I’m working on.” Howard had forgotten about his ice cream until Hanna placed his hand on the container again. “Thank you, sweetheart,” Howard said and began eating again.

“Do you work for a computer company?” Gordy asked.

“No. I’m independent. But once I developed the basic technology, I was able to sell it to a number of technology companies. I also hold a number of patents, so a lot of the technology out there is based on my work.” And they had to pay him to use it—Howard didn’t say that part, but it was the truth.

“That’s so cool. I’d love to see some of your work sometime. My background is mainly civil engineering, but those sorts of things fascinate me. I drove my parents crazy as a kid. On Christmas morning, after opening my presents, I’d proceed to take the toys apart so I could put them back together again. It made my parents nuts until they realized I
could
put them back together. Then I think I scared them when I started making improvements.”

“Like what?” Howard asked after swallowing a bite of the frozen mint and chocolate mixture.

“One year they gave me a radio-controlled car. I wanted to see how it worked. Then I figured out a way to make it faster.” Gordy chuckled again and bumped Howard’s shoulder. “I got it to zoom around the house. My mother freaked and banned the car from inside the house, so I ran it and up and down the street and sidewalk. That is, until I lost control and crashed it against a tree. After that, my folks started buying me clothes for Christmas. They figured it was safer and wouldn’t drive the dog out of his mind.”

Howard finished up his ice cream, and from the conversation going around him, he figured the others were ready to go. “Thank you,” Howard said, standing up. “I hope I run into you again soon.”

“Me too,” Gordy said. Howard extended his cane, and Patrick guided him back to the car.

“Howard and Gordy sitting in a tree,” Hanna sang as the car began to move.

“That’s enough, Hanna,” Ken said from the front seat, and she began to giggle. Howard had to admit: he wouldn’t mind sitting in a tree if kissing Gordy was the order of the day.

“I’
M
FINE
,
Lizzy,” Howard said to his sister the following afternoon as he sat on the sofa in Ken and Patrick’s living room.

“I never liked him. I didn’t say anything, but Cedric was such a goombah. He dressed like a mobster and looked at all the guys in the room. I think he thought that since you couldn’t see, he had a license to ogle, and he did. He gave me the creeps.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Howard asked.

“Because you seemed happy, at least at first, and listening to you laugh when he was around was great,” Lizzy said. Howard had told her about them breaking up, but he hadn’t shared the details of exactly what had happened. If he had, Lizzy would have charged up from Traverse City, packing her daughter Sophia in the car and then driving for hours so she could be there for him. He knew that. But that wasn’t what he needed. Her support was enough. He’d moved here because of the access to Michigan Tech and because it afforded him some independence. His family loved him, adored him, in fact, but they also tended to do things for him instead of letting him do for himself.

“I was happy. Did I tell you I met a guy yesterday? According to Hanna, he was making goo-goo eyes at me.” Howard chuckled, and Lizzy growled. “Come on, I’m not getting my hopes up. He had ice cream with us and he seemed nice. He said I was cute, though.”

“Does he understand what being with a blind person entails?” Lizzy asked.

Why was his blindness always everyone’s first concern? He was a man like anyone else, not a child.

“I’m not helpless,” Howard retorted. “And it’s mean for you to say something like that, like I don’t deserve to find someone because I’m blind and a burden to them, like I can’t offer something to a relationship.” Someone sat down next to him, and rough hands touched his arm. It was Patrick, of course.

“You know I didn’t mean it that way. I worry about you,” Lizzy said much more gently, and Howard let the tension drain away.

“Then you’ll be happy to know I finally applied for a leader dog. I should be getting him in the next few weeks. His name’s Token and he’s nearly done with his training. They said they’ll bring him over next week so I can meet him.” Howard was pretty excited about it.

“That’s great,” Lizzy told him. “Maybe in a few weeks Sophia and I can come up for a visit. I know she’d like to see her Uncle Howie.”

“Of course,” Howard said, and he felt Patrick get up from the sofa. “I bet she and Hanna would like to see each other again.

“Is Sophia on the phone?” Hanna asked, and Howard felt her climb on the sofa.

“Yes, honey, but they’re getting ready to leave,” Howard told her. “She’s going to come for a visit in a little while, and the two of you can spend time together. Maybe we can arrange for some sleepovers.” That got a yay from Hanna and brought chuckles from Lizzy. “I’ll talk to you really soon,” Howard said. Lizzy said good-bye as well, and he disconnected the call. Hanna squirmed and ended up on his lap.

“I can’t wait for Sophia to come. She’s one of my bestest friends,” Hanna told him.

“I know, sweetheart, and I’m sure she’s anxious to see you too, but I need to finish up my work before the party,” Howard said gently, and then she was lifted off his lap with a groan that must have come from Patrick. “You’re getting to be such a big girl.”

Howard returned to his work, talking his computer through the commands and having it read the screen back to him. At first it had been a fairly cumbersome process for him to learn, but now it came as almost second nature. He knew there was a screen on the computer, but it had no meaning for him; everything was sounds and voices.

“Can you make your computer sound like me?” Hanna asked.

“We can try. Most of the time, in order to get a voice to sound right it takes some work, but we’ll see what we can do.” Howard issued a series of commands to create a new voice file. “What I’m going to do is ask you to say some phrases. Talk normal, and I’ll record them. Then we’ll have the computer use that information to try to sound like you, okay?”

“Okay,” Hanna answered, and she settled on the sofa next to him.

“You shouldn’t be bothering Uncle Howard. Let him get his work done so he can enjoy the party too,” Ken scolded mildly.

“It’s okay. I’ve been working on some vocal training programs to make it easier to create new realistic voices. This will actually help.”

“Okay, but the guests will start arriving in a little over an hour,” Ken said, and his footsteps trailed away.

“Are you ready?” Howard asked Hanna.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now, when I start recording, say, ‘I like ice cream,’” Howard instructed and turned on the recording. Hanna said it. “Great. Now say, ‘Let’s go to the store.’” Hanna repeated the phrases, and Howard took her through a few dozen more. Then he instructed the computer to develop the voice profile and to use that voice as the default.

“It sounds like me,” Hanna said when Howard’s computer began using her voice. There were some phrases where it sounded like a computer with Hanna’s pitch and some more complex phrases that it couldn’t compute, but by and large it was Hanna’s voice. “That’s really cool. Can we do Daddy?”

“Not now, you little scamp,” Ken said, and Hanna giggled and squirmed next to Howard. “You need to change into the outfit you picked out for the party. Guests will be arriving soon, and Uncle Howard needs a chance to put his things away and clean up a bit.” Hanna’s giggles softened as they got farther away. Howard saved his work and shut down his computer before packing it into its bag. Then he located his cane at his feet and stood up, then made his way to the bedroom he’d been given for his brief stay.

He put things away and changed into what he hoped was a nicer shirt. Then he did his best at grooming and used the bathroom before following the voices. He wasn’t as familiar with the terrain here as he was at home, but he’d spent enough time here that he could pretty much get around. “The party is in the backyard,” Ken told him and led him carefully out into the warm summer air. “Here’s a nice chair in the shade.”

“Thanks,” Howard said and felt for the arms before lowering himself down. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You aren’t. All three of us love having you here. Hanna adores you, and we consider you part of the family.” Ken lightly gripped his shoulder. “I have some things to finish getting ready. But I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” Howard said. Parties tended to be difficult. There were lots of people and often children running around. Voices mingled with each other, and unless someone was speaking directly to him, his surroundings became muddled in his mind. Also, people tended to say hello and then move on because they never seemed to know what else to say to him. It could be awkward for both him and other people. So he didn’t often go to events like this. But Ken and Patrick had asked him, and he hadn’t wanted to disappoint them. He’d had no idea the whole thing would turn into a bit of an adventure.

Ken pressed a glass into his hand. “I brought you a beer.”

“I appreciate it,” Howard said, and he heard Ken rush away.

Within minutes, people began arriving. He recognized some of the voices and he received many hugs and greetings. Some people sat in the chair next to him and talked for a few minutes before moving on. Soon the area around him was filled with voices, bits of conversation reaching his ears, only to be overlapped with others. Sometimes he wasn’t sure when others were speaking to him unless they addressed him first.

“Hi.” Howard recognized Gordy’s voice immediately, and the deep, resonant tone went right down his spine. He’d definitely like to get him to talk into his computer so he could use his voice every day. Man, that would be something: a computer voice that sounded like Gordy. “I was looking forward to seeing you today.”

“You knew you were coming yesterday?” Howard heard the chair next to him move. “Why didn’t you say something?” Howard asked, turning toward the chair.