Love Me ~ Without Regret (8 page)

“That doesn’t even sound like Clay. I mean I know he’s interested in you. He called dibs, but in a very manly way.” Levi chuckles.

“What doesn’t sound like me?” Clay sits beside me and kisses my cheek. He narrows his eyes at Levi.

“Hey, I was taking up for you, dude.”

Clay laughs. “I know, Levi, and you’re alright.” They fist bump and Clay turns to me, “You ready?”

“Yep, take me home.” I stand from my bar stool and Clay gets up and takes my hand. He is persistent. He thinks he can break me down with all of these sweet gestures. I’ve got news for him. I never fall for that shit.

I’ve just got to work all of this to my advantage. It’s time to make Clay my bitch. Game on, Clay. He can use all of his moves to change my mind about relationships, but he’ll figure out, eventually I’m not cut out for them. But, Lord have mercy on my soul, he can’t keep on kissing me. I lose all of my common sense when he kisses the hell right out of me.

Clay opens the door for me and the cold air hits me in the face like a bitch slap. Wearing these shorts isn’t doing me any favors right now. My teeth chatter. “Where did you park?”

“Are you cold, Lizzie? Here, let me warm you up a little.”

He walks behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He is so sweet. Too bad I don’t do sweet. I need to keep reminding myself of that fact. He did surprise me with that demanding bit in the hallway, but now he’s all sweet again. I liked the demanding Clay. That Clay looked like he could take care of business.

“I’m fine, Clay. Let’s hurry though.” I try to break away and make a run for his truck, but he’s not having that and keeps a firm hold of me.

“Lizzie, it's right over here. You act like you’re avoiding me.” He stops me and turns me to face him. “Are you scared of me?” His eyes are searching my face for answers.

“You don’t have to be scared, Lizzie, I would never hurt you.”

“Oh my goodness, you crack me up! Scared of you? Me? You’re barking up the wrong tree!” I bend over laughing because that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

“If you’re not scared, then why are you trying to stay as far away as you can from me?”

“Clay, I told you I don’t do relationships. It feels like you’re pushing me that way. You’ve got to stop all the touching and kissing.” I notice a slight whine to my voice. Where did that come from? I turn and start walking again.

When I make it to his truck, I turn and see he is still standing where I left him, staring at the ground.

Finally, he looks up and has the biggest smirk on his face. From mopey to cocky in mere seconds. I don’t get it. He struts over like he owns the world and backs me against his truck door.

“Do you want to know what I just heard, Tink?” He licks his lips. “I just heard you say that you can’t handle me touching you like this.” He runs his hand around my waist. “It bothers you even more for me to lick your neck right here.”

Oh yeah, right there. Ummm.

“I bet kissing you like this…”

He kisses me, sucking on my tongue and nipping on my bottom lip.

“Would I find your panties wet right now?” He unbuttons my shorts and sticks his hand inside them. His smirk widens into a full grin and he quirks one eyebrow.

I stiffen. This can’t lead to anywhere good, but damn if I don’t want it.

He slowly fingers me, just letting me know he can. He circles around my clit, before running his finger further south to my cooch.

Ah, take me now, please!

“Remove your hand, before I go all crazy on your ass, Clay,” I say through gritted teeth. I hold my breath, but he makes that feel way too good and I let out a moan.

Clay flicks his fingers a couple more times then removes them achingly slow. “Are you sure about this? By the amount of moisture you have going on in there, I would think you would want even more.” Clay pulls me in for another kiss, but I turn my head.

“Clay, we’re friends. If you can’t keep your lips and fingers to yourself, we are going to have problems.”  I push him back. He barely moves an inch. Ya big bully. “Now, unlock your door, I’m freezing my ass off out here.”

Clay unlocks the door. “Okay, friends it is. Earlier you wanted a fuck buddy and now only a friend. Do I have all of that right?”

I slide my ass into the truck and he closes the door before I have a chance to answer.

He thinks I’ve been leading him on? I’ve been friendly to him. I’ll admit last night I was looking for a hookup. That was before I thought of all of the ramifications, how the dynamics of our group would change. I’m finally happy with the friends I have. We are like a little family. I don’t want to be the one to ruin that.

Clay gets in the driver’s side of the truck, and looks straight ahead. Never glancing my way, he pulls onto the road.

“See, Clay, this is exactly what I’m talking about. When something goes bad between us and it will, trust me, you won’t want to be around me anymore. I don’t want that for us. We’ve become good at being friends.”

Clay focuses on the road ahead, his Adam’s apple bobbing each time he swallows. His hands are tight on the steering wheel, and even in the dim light of the radio, I can see his knuckles turning white. Why is he mad? I haven’t done anything wrong.

“Lizzie, I can’t.” Clay shakes his head.

“You can’t what, Clay? Be my friend?” My voice is thick, and I almost choke.

“Lizzie, I can’t see their hands all over you. It makes me want to kill them, I mean actually kill them, well at least cause them bodily harm. I want to be the only one whose hands roam those curves of yours. My biggest fear is you’ll fall in love with one of them. I couldn’t take that, Lizzie, I really couldn’t.”

He sounds so serious when up to this point he has only been flirtatious. This jealous side has me wondering if I should be flattered, or scream and run the other way. I don’t even know what to say to him now. No other guy has ever gone to this much trouble to just get in my pants.

“Why don’t we go out as friends and see how that works out? That would be a step in the right direction, Clay. You’ll be able to see that being friends is a much better option for us. It’s not that you’re not a wonderful guy, it’s me.” I know guys hear shit like that all of the time, but I’m seriously broken. I don’t even think Dr. Phil could fix me. Yes, this could be a good plan. He can see I’m majorly broken before he gets attached and thinks the relationship could actually go somewhere. Then we all can still remain friends.

“I think I can work with that. What is your schedule like this week?” He loosens his hands around the steering wheel and taps his thumb to the beat of the music.

“Tomorrow, I’m at the ranch nine ‘til one and I have the rest of the day free. Starting this week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I’m at the large animal teaching hospital doing my rotations. Hopefully, sooner or later, I’ll have my degree in Veterinary Medicine. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I help with Granny and Papa if there is anything to be done. I use that time to study and normally come to the ranch and check on the horses. I sneak over there almost every day.”

“With you being so busy, I really appreciate you taking care of my horses. I know the kids love seeing you, too. How about tomorrow, after your shift, we could go mudding?”

“Too cold for mudding, what else ya got?” I come up with my own idea, “What about a bonfire? We can invite several people and all hang out.”

“Yeah, I can build us a fire. That would be nice. We can spend time getting to know each other better, just the two of us.”

He just completely skipped over the fact I said invite other people. “Clay, bonfires include more than two people.” I want more people around to keep me from my temptation.

“I’ll tell you what, you bring extra clothes, dress warmly, and I’ll come up with something for the two of us.”

“Okay, I’ll leave it up to you, as long as it is friendly and not intimate.”

Of course, when we make it to my apartment, he has to get out and walk me to the door.

“Thanks for the ride. See ya tomorrow.”

“You’re welcome, Lizzie. You can count on me anytime.” He leans in for a kiss.

I turn my cheek to him because I feel my resolve falling away layer by layer. “Clay, we can’t be kissing friends.”

He reaches to brush my hair from my face and ends up placing his hand on my shoulder, “How about a friendly hug then? You gave Levi a friendly hug.” He takes me in his arms and hugs me like he means it. He holds me, gently pressing me against him. He has one hand in my hair and the other rubbing my back.

This is one of the most intimate hugs I’ve ever received. I love every warm delectable second of it. I just can’t let him know how he makes my toes curl and my body hum.

Clay

I have a lot to do to prepare for my date with Lizzie. She is going to fall in love with me one way or another. If I have to woo her, that’s what I’ll do. I don’t care if she thinks she’s not the romantic type. I see her walls falling, and I’ll keep on with my pursuit.

I don’t make time for work around the ranch much today because I want to make things perfect for our date. On Sundays, we aren’t open for business. We take care of maintenance issues and our horses. Making sure the horses are well cared for is a priority for me, but there are plenty of people here today for that.

After I finish setting everything up, I make my way over to the stables to help Lizzie. The quicker she is finished with the things she assigns herself, the sooner we can leave on our date.

I see Granny and Papa are here for a visit today. With them both being in bad health, they don’t get to come by often but when they do it’s on a Sunday.

“Clay.” Granny calls out with a wave. “How are you today?” She says, holding on to her walker.

“Granny, you’re looking mighty spry today. Papa, how are you feeling?”

“With my fingers.” Papa says, holding up the hand not holding on to his cane. “Where’s Lizzie?”

I chuckle, “I’m sure she is in with the horses. Do you want to go with me to find her?”

“No, I want a Dr. Pepper.” Papa tells me.

“Now, Alan, you promised Lizzie that we would see the horses this time.” Granny says, looking over at him.

“But I’m thirsty,” he says.

“Why don’t we get you something to drink and then go see the horses?” I ask.

Cash has told me that Papa has dementia and he tries to give him his way as much as possible. When he gets agitated or upset, he sometimes becomes a little violent and wants to fight. He’s a funny character when he’s having good days and wants to pull pranks on people. They think it’s all because of his disease and it may be, but I think he likes being a little mischievous.

“In that case, I want a cup of coffee.” Granny says. “Can Lizzie have a break to visit while we have our drinks?”

I open the door to the breakroom and help them get situated. “Sure, I’ll go get her for you. Who brought y’all up here?” I ask while I get the soda and coffee.

“That woman.” Papa said.

Granny smiles, “Margie, she stopped in the office to say hello to Bailey.”

I set their drinks on the table, “Okay, I’ll go get Lizzie and I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you, honey.” Granny says with a wink.

I go to find Lizzie and let her know she needs a break.

“I thought I’d find you in here.” I say as I walk into the stables.

“Where else would I be, silly boy?” She laughs.

“You’ve got visitors in the break room demanding sodas and coffee.”

She looks at her watch, “Oh good, they’re here. Send them on in; I was hoping I could use some of the same therapy the counselors use with the kids on Papa.”

“He was thirsty and wanted a Dr. Pepper. Granny wants to visit with you while she sips on her coffee. I bet you a kiss that you won’t get any therapy session in today.” I smirk.

She leans the shovel she was using in the corner, “You bet me a kiss? Is that all? No money? This is a piece of cake.” She snaps her fingers as she passes me with that ponytail swaying.

I follow Lizzie into the break room. I want to be a party to this visit. I swing the door open to see they’re basically having a family reunion. Margie, Bailey, and Cash have all joined the social call. I can’t help to smile. There’s no way Granny is going to want to break up this get together.

“Do we have all the food planned for the wedding?” Granny asks Bailey.

“I think so, but I’d like to nail it down for sure by next week.” Bailey says.

“Are you still writing your own vows?” Lizzie asks.

Cash lets out a sigh, “Yes.” He looks over at Bailey. He’s so in love with her, she could ask anything of him and he’d gladly hop to it.

“I think it’ll be the most romantic wedding I’ve ever been to,” Margie says.

“Who’s getting married?” Papa asks.

“We are, Papa.” Bailey says, holding Cash’s hand.

“You’re pretty, but I’m already married. That’s my wife. I can’t marry you.” He lets out a little laugh and points toward Granny.

Granny smiles, shakes her head, and pets his hand. “I sure am.”

“Are you finished with your Dr. Pepper? Do you want to go see the horses?” Lizzie asks him.

“No, I want to go home now. I think I’ll take a nap. Thank you very much though,” Papa says.

Lizzie cuts her eyes over at me.

I’m silent, but I have a smug smile.

“Do you remember how much you used to like riding horses when you were younger?” Lizzie asks him.

“They were okay, but the car is much faster. I think I’ll just take the car home,” he answers her.

“He’s not having a good day, Lizzie. Maybe next time will be better.” Margie says.

“How’s school going, Baby?” Granny pats Lizzie’s hand.

“Ah, I guess it’s going alright. It keeps me on my toes,” Lizzie says.

“I’m so proud of you, Lizzie. Going to be a doctor and all. If I had any animals, I would let you be their doctor,” Granny tells her.

“I know you would.” Lizzie gives the older lady a hug and kisses her on the cheek. “Because you’re the best Granny in the world.”

“Well, I’m ready to go home now.” Papa says, standing. He starts shuffling to the door.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave, Addie.” Margie laughs.