Lovely Shadows (12 page)

“What do you need?” she asked as we rounded the corner down the cereal aisle. “Whoa! Hot guy alert!”

“Where?” I asked, not really interested.

“Over there by the magazine rack.” She pointed in his direction.

I immediately felt cold. I recognized him by his short hair and the purple rabbit's foot hanging from his pocket. Why was Darren Foster in Browton?

“Let's go,” I hissed, pulling her in the opposite direction. We hurried down the canned goods aisle then cut back by the coolers.

“What is your problem?” she asked breathlessly.

“Nothing, I just needed to grab some...” I snatched a package of cheese slices and held it up.

“We were sprinting for cheese? What—did you think we had a sudden shortage in dairy products?” She laughed sarcastically.

“Just wanted to make sure I...”

Darren crossed in front of us just then, heading down a different aisle. I tossed the cheese and pushed Lindsey back towards the canned goods.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you? Do you know that guy or something?”

“Never seen him before in my life,” I nudged her towards the checkout lanes.

“You're sure going through an awful lot of trouble to avoid him.”

“Look, just pay for your stuff so we can get out of here.”

“I thought you had to get a few things yourself.”

“I'll get them later.”

“Jessa, you've gotten weird this summer.”

“You have no idea,” I muttered.

On the way to my house she drove over the speed limit. The second my door shut she sped off. Too rattled to feel offended, I jumped into my car and peeled out of the driveway. Back at Miller's I stalked through the store, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible while searching for Darren. However, remaining inconspicuous in Browton was an impossibility. Everywhere I turned, someone greeted me. I forced a smile and a curt “hello” while keeping my eyes out for him.

After I doubled-back across the store, I accepted that he was no longer there. Still determined to find him, I drove all over town. Just as I was about to give up, I spotted him near Washington Park, a small square of grass and wrought-iron benches that were more ornamental than useful. I parked across the street at the post office and sank low in my seat, never taking my eyes off him.

He talked on his cell phone, not looking upset or worried. In fact, he threw his head back and laughed. I tried to be unbiased in the way I looked at him but my mistrust of him went too deep. Not only had he offered a thinly veiled threat, he was now in my hometown. Something wasn't right with this guy. I was tempted to confront him, but Billie would kill me if I did. So would Aidan for that matter. I sank lower in the seat, peering through the steering wheel.

Several minutes passed before Darren rose from the bench and started walking south. I slowly pulled away from the curb and followed him as far back as I could. He turned down Lilac Road then went into Morrison's Bait and Tackle. Five minutes later he emerged with rope and duct tape.

My heart slammed against my ribcage. Rope and duct tape? Separately, these items were of no consequence, but together, they were trouble. I'd see enough cop shows to know nothing good could come from this situation. Part of me wanted to flee, the other part of me wanted to stay and see where he went next. Crap! Where was Billie when I needed her? She was never the voice of reason, but right now, she was better than nothing.

“Do I stay or go?” I asked myself out loud. Then, “Aidan, if you can hear me, help me. What would you do?”

Like a beautiful illusion, his voice reverberated in my head.

“Follow him.”

“What?”

Aidan, in the flesh, would never have advised this; in fact, he would have told me to run. But it was a decision, no matter how it was given. I straightened my shoulders and drove after Darren.

I found him two blocks over, getting into a banged up Grand Prix driven by a girl with chestnut hair. From where I was I couldn't see what she looked like, or if she was scared. He leaned across the center console and kissed her. Okay, maybe she was fine for now, but that didn't mean something bad wouldn't happen later. I dug through my purse until I found a pen and a slip of paper. Quickly I scribbled down the license plate number.

I followed them until they were out of town. As soon as I got home, I went straight to the computer and looked up his license plate number. Every site rejected my advances.

“Stupid government privacy laws,” I shouted, banging my fist on the desk.

Before I started making dinner, I went through the house and made sure all the doors and windows were locked. Then I retrieved Luke's baseball bat from his room.

While I chopped onions and diced tomatoes, I thought about everything that had happened since Aidan vanished, beginning with the moment he left. How had everything gone so awry? A sobering thought occurred to me: If I hadn't kissed Aidan, he might still be here. Laying my knife down, I stared out the kitchen window at the back field. If I had just controlled my lustful urges—and remained faithful to my boyfriend—none of this would have happened. Aidan would still be here; we could have solved his death much sooner; he would be resting in peace now. Instead, I let my stupid teenage hormones take over. Now I didn't have Aidan at all. It was almost more than I could bear.

Grandpa was subdued through dinner. An elderly member of the congregation suffered a stroke before lunch. After spending hours with the family, Grandpa was exhausted.

“That stubborn fool refuses to accept Christ as his Savior,” he informed us as he built another taco. “He doesn't see the error of his ways.”

“Maybe he thinks he deserves hell,” Luke offered, passing the plate of shells to me.

“Marty Kimble is as good and decent as they come. I graduated with him forty-four years ago. Marty thinks being good is enough to impress God. But the Bible says 'none can come to the Father except through Me'. He just doesn't understand that God doesn't want his good deeds; He wants His heart.”

“Well, if anyone can convince him otherwise, Grandpa, it's you.” I smiled encouragingly.

“I used to think so. I appreciate the vote of confidence, sweetheart.”

“Anytime.”

We switched topics and talked about other things. I glossed over my afternoon, not really giving any specific details of my adventure. I'd save that for Billie, whom I planned to call later.

Luke and Grandpa got into a heated discussion about classic cars while I cleared the table. When I finished with the dishes, they were still talking.

I quietly went up to my room and called Billie. I told her everything that had happened, including Darren buying the rope and duct tape.

“What do you think it means?” she asked nervously.

“I was hoping you had an idea. I'm trying not to overact but it's difficult. I don't like the guy, he doesn't like me. Why is he in Browton buying duct tape and rope? Why is he in Browton at all?”

“Did you tell him where you lived?”

“I don't think I did.” I quickly thought back over our brief conversation on the phone and at McDonald's. I couldn't recall ever giving any personal information about myself other than my name.

“No, I'm sure I didn't.”

She sighed. “I really wish Aidan would come back. This would be so much easier with him here.”

“I had the same thought earlier. I miss him, Billie.”

She laughed. “So do I, and I don't even know him. It sucks for you though. I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, well, what are you going to do?”

“Well...” she trailed off.

“Well what?”

“Forget it, it's crazy.”

“Have you not heard a thing I've said in the last month? My entire life is crazy. I think I can handle whatever you throw at me. Try me.”

“Well,” she said once more, hesitating. “I know you don't believe in soul mates, Jessa, but I just read in this magazine that people who are true soul mates can hear each other or feel each others pain, no matter how far apart they are.”

“You mean, like twins?”

“Yeah, it's pretty much the same thing. Just try mentally yelling for him or something. Break a foot if you have to.”

“I'd like to try something less drastic,” I said.

“Fine, break a nail. Look, what do you have to lose at this point? I don't think we can get any further on this without him. If Aidan doesn't come back, we might never find his killer. So promise me you'll try it.”

“I promise. Good night.”

“Night, Jessa-A-Bear.”

Honestly, I found the concept completely stupid. Who yells—mentally or otherwise—in hopes that a dead man might hear them? Like Billie said, I had nothing to lose—except maybe my dignity and sanity.

But I missed Aidan, and Billie did have a point, one I already realized: We couldn't do this without him. If we had any hope of catching his killer, we needed more clues, ones that only Aidan could provide.

That night I went up to attic and laid down on Aidan's blanket. How was I supposed to do this, just start screaming his name in my head and hope for the best? As if I wasn't already crazy enough. Now Billie expected me to start creating voices in my head? I clutched the blanket in my fists. Why did I have to kiss Aidan and make him disappear? Look where it got me—resorting to bizarre measures to make him return...
if
it worked.

If it worked, Billie would never let me live it down.

Closing my eyes, I brought Aidan's angelic face into focus. I concentrated on his endless golden eyes. I mentally ran my fingers through his shaggy auburn hair. The red flecks caught in the sunlight shimmered brightly. I brushed my hand across his face and down his chest. His lips parted slightly as he watched me slide my hand under his shirt. His stomach was rock hard and smooth. He gasped when I kissed him.

“Aidan,” I whispered his name, feeling the force of my desires in the pit of my stomach.

“Jessa,” he murmured back, his husky voice soft in my ear.

“Aidan, you have to come back.”

“I don't know where I am.”

“Aidan, open your eyes. You have to come back. I need you. I cannot do this without you.”

“It hurts...” His eyes opened wide, but he wasn't seeing me. A strange vacant look possessed them.

“Aidan!” I shouted at him. “You have to open your eyes and come back to me. You have to come back, now!”

“I'm sleepy.”

“Aidan!” I started screaming over and over. “You have to come back!”

“Jessa...”

“I love you! You come find me right now! Come back to me now!”

He didn't answer.

“Aidan!”

He slowly began to fade from me. I reached for him but grasped only the empty air where he once stood.

“Damn it!” My eyes flew open. I sat up quickly, my heart beating wildly in my chest.

Morning light spilled through the window and across the wooden floor of the attic. Another day had come.

Aidan was still missing.

10.

“Aidan!”

His eyes flew open, and he sat up so fast his head spun. Shaking off the dizziness, he looked around for Jessa. He'd heard as clear as if she was standing next to him. Where was she? Hell, where was he? Nothing about his surroundings looked familiar. The towering trees encroached so thickly they reminded him of football players in a huddle. Thin streams of sunlight filtered down to the earthen floor. Clumps of dirt, as black as coal, spread across the ground, giving life to various green foliage. How long had been here, wherever here was? His only concern was finding Jessa.

He rose to his feet, brushing the dirt and bugs off his clothes. God, he felt disgusting. He wanted nothing more than a hot shower and clean clothes. But he needed to find Jessa first.

Marching steadily towards what he hoped was the north, Aidan thought about the last time he saw Jessa. The mix of guilt and pleasure on her face brought him an equal sense of pleasure and pain. Her guilt for cheating on Levi broke his heart. She still loved the farmer—not that he expected anything less. However, some part of him hoped what they shared would have been enough to make her forget Levi. The hope was foolish, he knew, but he couldn't help it. His love for Jessa was so overwhelming that hope was all he clung to.

He knew he could offer Jessa none of the things Levi could. As soon as Aidan figured out who killed him, he was out of here. How many days had he faded out? Two? Three? Long enough to make Jessa forget him? Or long enough for her to solve the mystery that would send him into the light and out of her life forever?

The forest broke, and Aidan found himself at the edge of the freeway. Cars, trucks, semis, minivans, and motor homes blew past him at seventy-plus miles an hour. The large green sign listed Peoria and Springfield as the two nearest cities. How the hell had he wound up in Illinois? He had no control over what happened when he faded out. The furthest he'd ever gone was somewhere around Kansas City. This set a whole new record. Apparently, he needed to hitchhike his way back to Browton.

He followed the freeway to the nearest truck stop, nearly ten miles up the road. Exercise didn't bother him since he didn't need to breathe anyway. Scanning the license plates of several vehicles, he found one that claimed to be from St Louis, Missouri. He slipped into the backseat, praying the entire time these people were headed in his direction. As luck would have it, three college-age girls piled into the Prius. The redhead—Sara, as he soon learned was her name; the other two were Libby and Mallory—floored it out of the parking lot and merged with the flow of traffic. Thankfully, they headed South. From the conversation, Aidan discovered they were students at Lincoln University. They hated small towns, black licorice, and some guy named Tex. To be honest, Aidan felt bad for the guy. The shortcomings the girls discussed were nothing any guy wanted said about him.