Make-Believe Wife (16 page)

‘How are you, sir?' Luke asked and went to his grandfather's side. ‘I hear the doctor has been to visit you. I think you found the ball too much, sir. Perhaps we should postpone the wedding for a month or two?'

‘You will do no such thing on my account,' the earl said. ‘It will take place as planned in three weeks from now or I'll want to know the reason why.'

‘Please do not distress yourself, sir,' Luke said quickly. ‘I was merely concerned for your health.'

‘My health is neither here nor there. I did not summon the family here for you to change your mind the next day, Clarendon.'

‘Please do not get upset, sir,' Roxanne said and bent to touch his cheek. ‘I shall leave you with your grandson—Luke, you should not tire him. The doctor told me it is important that your grandfather rests as much as possible.'

‘Of course.' Luke inclined his head stiffly. ‘I shall speak to you later, Roxanne.'

‘Of course, Luke. Whenever you wish.'

‘You'll come to visit me again later, girl?'

Roxanne looked at the earl and smiled. ‘Of course. You must have a sleep when Luke leaves you, but I shall come back before dinner.'

 

Roxanne was sitting in the back parlour she favoured when Luke entered later that day. He frowned to find her alone and asked why she was not in the drawing room with their guests.

‘I wanted a period of quiet reflection,' she said and stood up. ‘I shall join your Aunt Jane and Uncle Frederick for tea. Most of the others left an hour or so ago. Your Cousin Horatio asked for you, but I was forced to say that I did not know where you were, since I was told you were not with Grandfather.'

‘The earl asked to be left alone. He seems weaker than before. I fear that he may not live much longer. The doctor told me that if he takes a turn for the worse it could be his last illness.'

‘I know he seems very tired, but the ball took a great deal of his energy. I pray that he will recover. He so longs for an heir. It would be wonderful if he could at least know that a child was on the way.'

‘After last night that may already be the case.' Luke frowned, turning to gaze out of the window. ‘I should apologise for what happened, Roxanne. I did not behave, as a gentleman ought. If I could change things, I would, but unfortunately we cannot turn back the clock.'

His words stung like the lash of a whip. If the previous night had been as wonderful for Luke as it had for her, he would not need to apologise.

‘I think no harm was done since we intended to marry as soon as the banns are called,' she said. ‘It need only be a small affair. I see no reason why Grandfather should be forced to attend. He will be satisfied if all is done as it should be.'

‘You seem to be on excellent terms. I must bow to your superior judgement in this matter.'

She glanced at him. His lips were white and set in a thin line.

‘Are you angry with me for caring about his welfare?' Roxanne asked in a carefully flat tone. His manner was so rigid, his anger barely under control. ‘The earl requested that I call him Grandfather. If it annoys you, I can be more formal.'

‘Why should you? He clearly likes it and you.' Luke frowned as he turned to look at her. ‘Forgive me. I was anxious and when I'm anxious I become angry. I had no right to interfere.'

‘You have every right. I have not forgotten the reason you brought me here, Luke—but I find that my affections are engaged. Grandfather has been generous to me with his own affection and I genuinely wish to make him happy. I hope he will rally again, but I know that he could take a turn for the worse.'

‘If he should die, you would not need to keep your bargain.'

‘Should I not? That would be your decision, naturally.' Roxanne got to her feet. ‘Excuse me, I should go and take tea with your family. If you wish to disappoint everyone, you must take the necessary steps, Luke. I gave my word to the earl and I shall not break it. However, I shall not hold you to a bargain you dislike so much. Please inform me of your wishes when you are ready. Now, if you will excuse me.'

She walked out of the room with her head high. Luke cursed himself for a fool. She had been on the verge of tears, but hiding it as best she could. He had hurt her and it was the last thing he wanted to do and yet he was hurting too, so badly that he was striking out blindly. He was so confused at this moment that he did not know what he wanted.

Waking to find Roxanne sleeping so sweetly in his bed had thrown his senses into disorder. She was beautiful, generous and passionate—what more could any man want in a wife? He knew that he had discovered a
treasure beyond price and it frightened him. How could he ever deserve such a woman?

One day he would break her heart and she would leave him—she might be killed in an accident because he'd broken her heart. To know that he was guilty of bringing her to such misery would destroy him. If he loved her, he would lose her. Far better not to love than to love too much.

R
oxanne saw the last of the guests leave and then went upstairs. She knocked at the earl's door and was invited to enter by his manservant.

‘How is he now, Marshall?'

‘Not so clever, miss. I was just about to send for you to ask what you thought. He doesn't want a fuss, but I wondered if we should have the doctor again?'

‘I think he would prefer just to rest. There is very little the doctor can do for his condition, you know. I'll sit with him for a while now. He seems easier when I'm with him, I think.'

‘Yes, he does, Miss Roxanne. I've not seen him take to anyone as he has to you, miss, not for years. He's laughed more these past few weeks than he has since his wife died. He became almost a recluse after his daughter died young. If it had not been for Master Luke he might have given up altogether. Yet he found it hard to show his feelings—just as Master Luke does. I know
the earl better than most and I can tell you that his heart has been broken more than once.'

‘I dare say he missed both his wife and his daughter a great deal.'

‘Not that he let on. He just became more buttoned up, if you'll excuse the phrase—but I think you're right, miss. Shut himself off, he did, but he's come back to us since you arrived. I don't know what he'd do without you now, miss.'

‘Yes, I think he is happier than when I first came,' Roxanne said and went into the bedchamber. The earl was lying with his eyes shut, but when she sat down close to his side, he opened them and looked at her.

‘You've come, then,' he said. ‘I hoped you might when they'd all gone. Has that grandson of mine gone too?'

‘No, I do not think he plans to leave us just yet,' Roxanne said. ‘He cares for you more than you might think, sir.'

‘He never showed it before you came. Mind you, I haven't exactly been loving towards him. I was grieving and so was he. We lost touch and when a breach opens up it's hard to cross it. We're both too damned proud for our own good and that's the truth. We can't say sorry—and neither of us knows how to love.'

‘I would not say that, sir. Perhaps you find it hard to show your love. I imagine it must be difficult, particularly for two very prickly and stubborn gentlemen.'

‘You've worked us out, haven't you?' The earl nodded as she merely smiled. ‘I underestimated you when you first came. I wonder if Luke has too. He
doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve, girl. I was just the same as a young man. It took my Emily to make me realise what love should be and when she died she took my heart with her.'

‘Yet you do love Luke and he loves you. Do you not think you should tell him before it is too late?'

‘Perhaps you're right,' he agreed. ‘I've held back all my life—afraid of making a fool of myself or being hurt again, I suppose.'

‘It is hard for everyone to trust once they've been hurt. Now, would you like me to read to you for a while or would you prefer to sleep?'

‘I've all night for sleeping. Tell me about yourself, Roxanne. Tell me about Sofia—and the life you led with her and the travelling players. I knew a young woman by that name once. She was very beautiful, but she never looked at me. Who knows, had she given me encouragement everything might have been different.'

‘While Sofia lived I was happy with her,' Roxanne said. ‘She was like a mother to me and she took away the dark emptiness inside me. I wish I might tell you who I am, sir, but apart from a vague feeling about India, which may be merely a game we once played, I remember nothing.'

‘I can tell you that you're a lady born,' Hartingdon said. ‘I've watched to see if you would let the act slip and you never have. If it were an act, Roxanne, you would make a mistake. No, you're a lady—and you love my grandson, whether he deserves it or not.'

‘Yes,' Roxanne said softly. ‘I do, but please do not tell him that for he may not wish to hear it. Sofia was a
lady, too, though she did not care for society. She found the social drawing rooms shallow and too insipid. For her drama and life lived to the full was more exciting than a life of domestic cares. She led an exciting life, but in the end I think she regretted that she had not known a true and lasting love.'

‘And you—are you like her, Roxanne?'

‘No, I do not think so. I believe I should enjoy a life in the country, devoted to family and friends and the service of others. I do not wish to be a courtesan and have princes fight over me, as she did.'

‘You're like my Emily,' he said and closed his eyes. ‘Tell me some more…about your acting and…' His voice trailed away and she knew he was sleeping.

Roxanne sat quietly by his side. He woke after a little while and smiled at her, then drifted off to sleep again, reassured that she was there. She held his hand for a while and gave him a drink when he asked.

 

It was almost midnight when the door of his bedchamber opened and Luke entered, wearing a long silk striped robe, his feet bare.

‘Are you still here?' he said softly. ‘You should go to bed now, Roxanne. I shall sit with Grandfather for a while.'

‘I will return in a few hours,' Roxanne said. ‘I do not want him to be left alone, Luke. It is important that he feels loved and wanted, because then he will have the strength to go on.'

‘You really do care for him, don't you?'

Roxanne inclined her head. She wanted to tell him
that the earl was not the only one she cared for, but the words remained unspoken. She'd said too much the previous night and Luke's anger had shown that he did not wish for her love. He had offered her a business arrangement, not a loving relationship. Unless she wished to end it, she must let him think that her emotions were not truly involved. Luke had been deeply scarred; he was afraid of loving, afraid of commitment.

‘Yes, I have become very fond of him,' she said. ‘I shall sleep because I must, but call me if you need me.'

‘Yes, of course. If he wakes and asks, I shall send for you, Roxanne. Goodnight, sleep well.'

Roxanne made no reply as she walked from the room. Her thoughts were with the earl, but as she opened the door of her bedchamber, for a moment she was apprehensive as she recalled the events of the previous night. However, her room was just as it ought to be.

She refrained from summoning a maid and managed to unfasten her gown without help. In bed she lay for a moment, her eyes stinging with tears she would not allow herself to shed. It was her fault for allowing herself to fall in love. Luke had never promised her love, only comfort and a home. She told herself it was enough and then at last she slept.

 

Roxanne was not summoned to the earl's side that night but at half past six the next morning she went to his room and found that Luke was still there, his long legs stretched out before him as he dozed in the
armchair. He woke as she entered and looked at her sheepishly.

‘I must have dozed off,' he apologised. ‘I do not think he called out or I should have heard.'

Roxanne looked down at the earl. His eyes were closed, but as she bent over him, he opened them and then deliberately winked at her.

‘Good morning, Grandfather,' she said and bent to kiss his cheek. ‘How are you this morning?'

‘Better,' he grunted. ‘What on earth that grandson of mine wanted to sit there all night for I've no idea.'

Luke had risen to his feet and was stretching his shoulders, clearly feeling the effects of an uncomfortable night. ‘Roxanne would have insisted on sitting with you had I not taken a turn,' he said. ‘I'm glad to see you better, sir. I will call and see you later. Please excuse me.'

‘Much good he would have been,' the earl said as the door closed behind him, but there was no malice in his words, just a hint of amusement. ‘His snoring would waken the dead.'

‘I'm sorry Luke's snoring disturbed you. How long had you been awake?'

‘An hour or so, perhaps. I hadn't the heart to wake him, but I need Marshall's assistance. Fetch him to me, girl, and then take yourself off for a few hours. You must have something you need to do?'

‘I believe I shall speak to Minty about flowers for the wedding,' Roxanne said and smiled. ‘You're a sly old fox, sir. If I didn't know better, I would think you had a plan to bring us all to heel.'

‘Do that graceless scamp good to think of someone else for a change. He's like me, too selfish and careless of others—but you were right, girl, I do care for him and I shall tell him so next time he comes. No good leaving it until it's too late.'

‘I shall see you later,' Roxanne said and went off to summon his manservant before going in search of the head gardener.

 

After an hour spent in delightful discussions about the various flowers needed for the church and the reception, Roxanne returned to the house. Entering the hall, she discovered Luke reading a letter. He turned to look at her with a frown.

‘This is from my solicitor. He writes to tell me that he has had no replies to his advertisement as such—but his office was ransacked by persons unknown the night he stayed here for the ball.'

Roxanne went cold all over. ‘You think someone was searching for that ruby? What is so important about it? I know it is valuable, but it is not priceless—or is it? Is there something special that draws others to it?'

‘I think we can be certain that someone is desperate to recover the ruby. I should be prepared to give it back to whoever is the rightful owner—if that is your wish?'

‘Yes, of course.' She shivered. ‘It is a dangerous thing, Luke. I wish I'd never seen it.'

‘When Grandfather is well again I shall place another advertisement and offer to return the damned thing to the person who has been searching for it. We shall all sleep sounder in our beds once this business is over.'

‘Yes, I believe so,' Roxanne agreed. ‘I think Grandfather is better this morning. His health is clearly still fragile, but I believe he was just exhausted after the ball. We should keep the wedding list to a minimum so as not to tire him too much.'

‘If I know Grandfather, he will insist on having a grand affair, even if he goes to bed for a week afterwards. This wedding means a great deal to him.'

‘Yes, but if we told him we wished for a quiet ceremony I believe he would agree.'

‘I'll have a word later,' Luke said. ‘You look very well, Roxanne. Have you been for a walk?'

‘Only to the hothouses. Minty has been showing me his pride and joy, which are some very rare plants. We were discussing flowers for the wedding.' She looked at him uncertainly. ‘You do wish to continue with this?'

‘Yes, of course. If I have given you reason to think otherwise, I apologise, Roxanne. I will admit to having a temper and I am sometimes rash when anger gets the better of me.'

She swallowed hard, her heart thumping. He was not saying that he loved her, merely that he wished to continue with the make-believe wedding they had planned.

‘Then I shall begin to write out the cards. I will send the family invitations first and you must tell me if there are friends you wish to ask, Luke.'

‘You have none you would wish to ask yourself?'

‘Perhaps Mrs Mills if it would not be too far for her to travel? I have no other friends or family, Luke, or none that I know of—but I shall content myself with
yours. Your Uncle Frederick is a very pleasant man and I like his wife. Some of your neighbours are very companionable and I am sure I shall make friends here.'

‘You are quite settled here,' Luke said with a rather odd look. ‘I think you would be happy to make it your home, even after Grandfather dies?'

‘It is such a lovely house and the estate is thriving, the people honest and hard working—and I should enjoy helping to keep it in good heart. To live as the steward of such a house and care for its people is a good life. Do you not think so?'

‘I like London,' Luke said. ‘When a man is tired of London he is tired of life.'

‘A profound sentiment, Luke. Is it your own?'

‘No. I believe it was once a favourite saying of Dr Johnson.'

‘Ah, yes. Grandfather spoke to me of Dr Johnson's dictionary, something he would like to add to his library, I believe.'

‘I must see if a copy can be subscribed,' Luke said. ‘I will enquire when I go up to town—which puts me in mind of your wedding gift. Is there any particular jewel you like, Roxanne? I gave you pearls and emeralds, but you might prefer something different.'

‘Oh, no, I am very happy with what I have,' she denied, her cheeks warm. ‘I do prefer simple things—a gold brooch for wearing in the mornings might be nice, but I have no particular need.'

‘People will expect you to have jewels to match your status, Roxanne. If I did not give them to you, they would imagine I neglected you and my duty. I am very
sure Grandfather would have given you something for the ball had I not had my own gift to give you that night.'

‘We have been given several gifts for our engagement,' Roxanne said. ‘Mrs Arlet told me that a silver tea service arrived from your godmother this morning. Your uncles and aunts have also been generous, and Cousin Horatio gave us a particularly beautiful silver inkstand. Shall I write to thank them all or would you prefer to do it yourself?'

‘If you have time, I shall leave you to do the honours,' Luke said. ‘There are estate matters enough to occupy me while I stay here.'

‘Are you thinking of leaving for London soon?'

‘I may go up in a day or so. I should probably get this business of the ruby over as soon as possible, Roxanne. I will arrange for an agent in London to handle the affair. We do not need to be involved ourselves.'

‘Yes, of course,' she said, conscious of a feeling of disappointment. No longer angry, Luke was being considerate and generous once more, but he had given her no reason to think that the feelings that had boiled over on the night of the ball had been anything more than an impulse he had since regretted. ‘It must be just as you wish.'