Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual (3 page)

Punishment

It is inevitable that at some point in her training, even the most accomplished slave will make a mistake. The dominant should set clear guidelines for correction of errors. If the point of the punishment is correction, then the rule is, "Let the punishment fit the crime." In general, errors that indicate lack of consideration for the dominant or behavior that runs counter to the agreed-upon code of ethics for the slave should be punished more severely than simple physical mistakes. Errors of the former sort include the following: neglecting proper forms of address, disobeying direct commands, gossiping, arrogance, tardiness, failure to complete a training assignment, disrespect in any form.

Punishments should also suit the slave. A slave who is very attached to a token may have that token taken away for a period of time. A slave who consistently forgets honorifics may be put under a discipline of total silence; this technique is also useful for gossips. Arrogant slaves may be denied use of the furniture or eating utensils. . A slave who is unduly proud of his appearance may be dressed in unfashionable or ill-fitting clothes or be denied access to the bath. In extreme cases, the dominant may choose to send the slave away for a period of time. Miss Abernathy believes this punishment should be reserved for only the most obdurate slaves or for when the dominant feels unable to control her own anger.

In more simple cases, repetition is the key. If a slave cannot remember how to fold the dominant's socks, it may be time for her to empty the entire sock drawer and refold every pair correctly. If a slave forgets to use the lower-case "i" in written assignments, she may be required to write "i must be humble," one hundred times. Slaves who lose keys or bus passes may be made to wear them around their necks on a string, like schoolchildren do. Never underestimate the power of humiliation.

Physical discipline may prove useful for slaves who are physically and psychically able to withstand it. Often the mere threat of a beating is enough to whip the slave into shape. A petulant, whining slave should be taken over the dominant's knee and spanked like the child he is. A slave who is negligent in his use of honorifics can be required to count each stroke, thanking the dominant in appropriately respectful form. Lazy slaves who are caught sitting around may be paddled so that when they next sit down, their bruises will remind them of their obligations.

Dominants sometimes find themselves at a loss about how to punish masochistic slaves, for whom physical beatings are the purest pleasure. One method is to deny the slave a beating or administer one with a tool that the slave does not enjoy. Another tactic is to use some other form of punishment, such as memorizing a humiliatingly silly poem, or performing some seemingly endless task, like scrubbing the bathroom grout with bleach and a toothbrush. The slave might also be asked to perform a particularly challenging task, as a chance to turn the punishment into an occasion for reward.

Recognition and Reward

Just as a slave's deficiencies must be corrected, her achievements should be duly noted and rewarded. Rewards may be physical- a "sensuous beating for a masochist, an orgasm for a sex slave

- or material, such as a token or a new uniform.

Privilege: The Best Reward of All

The simplest and often most effective form of reward is privilege. A slave who is allowed greater intimacy with the dominant and a more advanced level of service will feel treasured as the valuable possession he is. Once again, the reward should fit the slave. For a fetishist, worshipping the fetish object to his heart's content may be in order. Likewise, permission to entertain the dominant by masturbating in front of him would be an excellent reward for a slave who has shown exemplary sexual restraint. If the slave is a "switch," that is, if he has dominant tendencies as well as submissive, one great reward may be the gift of his own slave to train.

The Collar

The slave collar remains the most widely recognized mark of submission. As
such, it makes an excellent reward for a new slave who has completed her preparations well. One dominant friend of mine has devised a collar system. As his slave progresses through the training program, she is rewarded with different collars, each representing a new level of achievement: first white, then red, then green and so on. (Another dominant might provide medals or badges with appropriate titles.

Dominants with a military bent may mark each advance in rank with a “stripe.") Many slaves crave the collar; some can bar ly function without it. When a dominant collars her slave, she signals that their roles are in full effect. By accepting the collar, the slave indicates her willingness to serve the dominant at that time. If the collaring is performed publicly; at a play party or other community function, it alerts other players that the slave is unavailable and that the dominant should be approached before any contact is made with the slave.

Collars may be of many different types, from the studded black leather variety to a simple velvet ribbon. Dominants must take great care in selecting the collar, for it is a tangible symbol of their will and their commitment to the slave. The collar should suit the slaves role. A choke chain is appropriate for a slave submitting to canine training; "a delicate lace ribbon may adorn a lady's maid.

Submissives who serve in non-kinky public should be provided with a more subtle collar - a stylish silver chain from a jeweler's or even a 1ength of leather lacing in the dominant's signature color - to avoid undue attention and confrontation with potentially hostile outsiders. (The submissive may of course be given a more formal collar for service in the home or at BDSM functions.) Miss Abernathy has a particular prejudice regarding collars: they should lock. Anyone may wear a collar for casual play or for the sheer fashion value of it, but a submissive in service to a dominant should be given the assurance that a locked collar provides. The lock not only holds the submissive captive to the dominant, but binds the dominant to the submissive. A dominant may wish to display/the key as a pendant to remind the slave and any onlookers of her power and love for the submissive. (One note of caution is in order here: all locks should have more than one working key; and the submissive should be informed of the location of an emergency key and the specific circumstances under which he may use it to release himself from the collar. I am speaking of real emergencies here: fire, earth/ quakes, medical crises.)

Collars should fit snugly without impeding movement or restricting breathing. One exception is the posture collar, which is designed to hold the neck straight and the head forward. They are especially useful for slouching sissy maids or other servants who lack focus. A posture collar should be fitted by a knowledgeable leatherworker to assure that it does not damage the neck, restrict breathing, or chafe the skin. Many dominants prefer adjustable collars, particularly if the slave is expected to do heavy labor or to sleep in the collar. In both cases, the neck may swell, and loosening the collar a notch will prevent the danger of strangulation.

The Collaring Ritual

When being collared, the slave should present herself in a manner that displays her gratitude and willingness to serve. Miss Abernathy prefers a kneeling position with the head inclined, eyes cast downward, and palms resting lightly on the thighs. If the slave is presenting the collar, she should hold it in her upturned hands and, raising her arms above her head, offer it to the dominant, who should not have to bend or stretch to reach it. The dominant may then command the slave to "kneel up" to receive the collar. At this command, the slave rises so that the body forms a straight line from neck to knees. She should raise her head enough to allow the dominant to encircle her neck with the collar.

At this point, the dominant may require the slave to make some gesture of gratitude, such as kissing the collar, reciting a pledge of service, or simply requesting sincerely that the dominant collar her. Then the dominant will put the collar around the slave's neck, perhaps expressing its significance to her and to the slave: "While you wear this collar, you are mine to command. You will obey me without hesitation. And as long as you wear it:, I will consider you my responsibility; I will let no harm come to you as long as you are in my care." The dominant may at this time specify her preferred form of address, any tasks the slave is to perform, and any specific disciplines the slave may be under, such as not using utensils to eat or remaining silent.

Submissives, take note: although you may wear it for years, do not make the mistake of thinking that the collar belongs to you. Unless he specifically indicates otherwise, the collar remains the property of the dominant and must therefore be returned immediately upon request. Should the slave choose to lay aside the collar without warning or explanation, the dominant may reasonably assume that the slave has broken contract and no longer wishes to be in service. Naturally, such gestures made without prior communication are likely to cause confusion and hurt feelings and are best avoided. In the matter of collars, as in all things, both the dominant and the submissive are obligated to express themselves as clearly and directly as possible at all times.

Ornaments or Tokens

In addition to the collar, the dominant may wish to reward the slave by providing any number of different types of tokens for the slave to wear. Some leather shops make customized brass, silver or leather name plates, which can be worn on a jacket, attached to the collar itself, or otherwise displayed on the slave's clothing. Dog tags, both of the military and canine varieties, can be embossed with owner's name, address, and so on. Jewelers can engrave similar information on ID

bracelets, rings, or most charming, ankle bracelets, those lovely remnants of shackles. Tokens can be even more subtle. The dominant may require the slave to wear a signature color or to carry a handkerchief impregnated with the dominant's perfume or cologne. Such intimate items provide solace to a slave temporarily separated from her owner. In any case, the token should serve as a constant reminder of servitude.

Permanent Marks

Other slaves may literally earn their stripes: permanent marks to show their accomplishments in the service arts. Just as a first earned the "irons ' (labia piercings) and later a brand, a dominant can reward a slave with ornamental body modifications. Such marks represent a deep commitment and should never be undertaken lightly.

It should go without saying that no one ought to be marked without his or her explicit permission. No reputable professional will mark an unwilling person, and neither should a dominant.

The most common forms of permanent marks in
D/S
relationships are piercings, brands, cuttings, and tattoos.

Piercing

Permanent body piercing has become very stylish in the past few years, with the rich and famous sporting nose, nipple, and navel piercings. For a dominant to give a submissive rings, however, the relationship should be more than a seasonal fashion. Any kind of permanent piercing can have significance as a dominant's mark, but the most common piercings are earlobe, nipple, and genital. The earlobe is convenient, visible, and socially acceptable. Marking may be as simple as the submissive wearing an earring purchased by or belonging to the dominant. The surgical stainless steel rings commonly used at piercing salons can be adorned with a bead in the dominant's signature color. A small engraved pendant with the dominant's initials can be hung £rom an earring.

Nipple piercings arc: distinctly more erotic (for most people!) than an earlobe piercing.

Sensitivity often increases when a nipple is pierced; also, the nipple spreads. Nipple skin is tough, and provided the piercing is well-healed and the jewelry sturdy enough, pierced nipples can take a lot of stimulation. A sadistic dominant may use this state to her advantage. It may also amuse her to lead her slave around a party by a leash attached to his nipple jewelry or to hang an engraved pendant or weight from it.

Genital piercings are certainly the most highly erotically charged piercings. Not only do most genital piercings increase erotic sensation, but piercing a slaves genitals sends a very definite message: this is mine.
O's
irons were labia piercings ornamented with her master's initials, but almost any part of the female or male external genitalia can be pierced: the clitoral hood, inner and outer labia, the penis head and shaft, the scrotal sac, the perineum.

Do not try to pierce your slave yourself All piercings should be done by trained individuals
only!!!
The popularity of piercing has resulted in many fly-by-night piercers (and dominants) who have only a few days or weeks of training. It is better to go without the piercing until you can schedule an appointment with a reputable piercer than to risk infection and worse. A list of reliable piercers is provided in the resource guide. Piercings have the advantage that they are practical (in
S/M
terms), they are beautiful, and if the jewelry is removed, they will usually heal over (although rarely without some sort of scar). In the event that the relationship ends, the submissive will not be left with a large or obvious mark that reminds her of her loss every -time she sees it.

Other Permanent Marks

-
I
The same cannot be said for branding, tattooing, or cutting.

While all three have intense erotic associations - O was branded, after all- they are potentially dangerous procedures that, like piercing, should be done by trained individuals only. Some established body modification artists will be happy to perform bonding rituals between a dominant and submissive that center on marking. Contact information for several experienced body modification artists is listed in the resource guide.

In choosing a design for a brand, tattoo, or cutting, a dominant should bear in mind that the submissive may well wear it for the rest of her life. Symbols that are too intimately connected to the dominants names, initials, portraits - make poor choices. It is much better to choose a symbol of commitment or of transformation, such as a circular Celtic knot or a phoenix. Totem animals or runes are another good choice, since they invoke protection. The dominant may want to explore the art of the slave's particular ethnic group(s) in deciding on a design.