Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual (4 page)

Testing

The dominant may sometimes feel it necessary to test the slave. She may doubt the slave's sincerity or she may want to assess the level of his development in specific skills. In either case, she may choose to create a situation in which the slave will be asked to prove his obdience, honesty; skill, or devotion. If a slave has been studying tea service, the easiest way to test his skill is to invite several trusted friends over for afternoon tea. To test a slaves obedience, ask him to perform a seemingly humiliating or dangerous task (the danger need not even be real). To prove a slave's honesty, ask a friend to tell the slave something unpleasant - perhaps a critique of the dominant's behavior - and then make the slave recount the conversation. Slaves prove their love and devotion at every turn, in the small acts of service that make up their day; but loyalty in times of trouble is the best measure of a slaves devotion.

The principles of testing should be discussed in a theoretical way during preliminary negotiations and consent received Particularly in the case of a "set-up," like the test of honesty described above, tests may involve mild deceptions, and if the dominant does not admit them, he cannot reasonably expect his slaves to admit their deceptions either.

Other Types of Service

Public Attendance and Play

Thus far we have spoken mainly of private service in the home. For many dominants and slaves, this will be the extent of their interaction. For those people who live in areas with an active BDSM

community; or who have like-minded friends, public service and play can form a large part of their relationship.

Escorting

A dominant may require her slave to escort her to various social functions, such as parties, theater performances, and the like. These situations give the slave a chance to perfect and display her social graces and poise. Public attendance can be extraordinarily challenging, especially for submissives who are accustomed to private service. - The noise and bustle, the numerous chance encounters with strangers and friends, and the simple desire to do well can overwhelm a slave.

Dominants should take time to acknowledge the slave's performance, either during or after the event.

Here a note on discretion is in order. There are relatively few public situations in which a dominant and slave can appear as they' are - as owner and property. While Miss Abernathy believes that / pride and confidence in one's life choices are laudable, she nevertheless cautions against inappropriate displays that may lead to conflict and confrontation. Taking your slave to; The Four Seasons on a leash is not recommended. Neither is requiring obviously submissive behavior in front of a slave's professional colleagues, if such behavior would damage her credibility. Parents may still have their children removed from their care if their BDSM lifestyle becomes public. How much is public display worth to you?

Lending Slaves Out

If a dominant and his slave are part of the larger BDSM community in their area, they may wish to open their relationship to friends and other players. Very often this will take the form of lending the slave out. The slave may be sent to another top for discipline or to perform some special service, or may be engaged to help train a less experienced submissive in what may be called a

"middle" position. If the slave has abduction or "gang" fantasies, the dominant may wish to arrange a group scene as a special treat. The dominant should take special care to inform the other players of the slave's interests and limitations and should observe the entire procedure carefully to ensure the slave's safety.

A special case is the slave auction. Most major American cities have social clubs and events for BDSM aficionados, where dominants and submissives can be open about their relationships and tastes. 'One favored event is the slave auction. Here a slave (or an unattached submissive) is put on the block and "sold" to the highest bidder. Often what is being auctioned is not the slave
in toto,
but

“first negotiation rights" or a specific skill of the slave's, such as boot polishing or massage or cooking.

Group scenes do bring up the matter of jealousy; and it would be unwise to ignore it.

Dominant! submissive relationships are by definition possessive, and it is not uncommon for a dominant to resent the attention his slave pays to another dominant (even ifit has been negotiated) or for a slave to feel wounded at the sight of "her» dominant with another slave. Miss Abernathy's advice is "Know thyself.” If you are a naturally jealous person, admit it. If you prefer a monogamous relationship, do not settle for anything else; you will only be miserable. There are dominants who find the idea of their slave serving anyone else appalling; there are certainly slaves who are happiest when focused on one person and one person only. Nowhere does it say that all BDSM players must be non-monogamous, al though many are happily (and ethically) so. Choosing this lifestyle means choosing to live as you see fit, regardless of society’s qualms. Do not then fall prey to another set of arbitrary rules.

Tools and Accoutrements for Training

Clothing

The clothing a dominant chooses for a slave should suit both the dominant's personal tastes and the practical requirements of the slave's position. It is ridiculous to ask a butler to wear a maid's uniform (except as a form of humiliating punishment) or to require a sex slave to be bundled up from head to toe.

In general, there are two schools of slave couture. The first believes that slaves should be naked at all times. This option is most practical for slaves who serve exclusively in the dominant's home or at play parties and is especially appealing for sex slaves. A slave may perform many tasks around the house while naked and not suffer any ill effects. (Two tasks that should be avoided are cleaning with caustic chemicals and cooking.)

The second school holds that slaves ought to be outfitted with a uniform appropriate to their status. A sissy maid should never be without stockings and gaff (an undergarment used to conceal-male genitalia); a butler, without a dark formal suit. Sex slaves can also be outfitted in appealing lingerie or scanty skirts or loincloths that leave them physically accessible to the dominant at all times. Any slave who is engaged for sexual service should be prepared to strip down on command.

It is vital that the dominant provide adequate clothing for specific tasks. A slave who gardens should be given gloves and knee pads as well as the necessary tools for her work If the slave has particularly sensitive skin, she ,should be given lined rubber gloves before being asked to wash dishes or scrub the toilet. It is appropriate, as part of the slave's training, to require a list of all the necessary "tools of the trade" for any given role or task. It is the dominant's responsibility to provide these items, unless other arrangements have been made.

Many slaves find that costumes or uniforms or the experience of forced nakedness trigger their submission. Likewise, dominants may find that certain articles of clothing - boots, a corset, a leather vest put them in a more dominant frame of mind... and excite the submissive. If the slave has a fetish, the dominant may wish to indulge that fetish, or she may wish to save it for a special reward.

Although a slave should be ready and willing to serve a Mistress who is wearing tennis shoes and sweatpants, both parties may want to experiment with costuming as an added perk.

Hidden Items

Many slaves benefit from the judicious use of "hidden" training devices that can be worn under street clothes. The transvestite maid who spends his days in an office may find the caress of a pair of silky panties or fine nylon stockings under his suit just the thing to help him through the day and prepare him for his evening chores. Sissy maids may be required to wear a gaff to disguise the male genitals, and a dominant may wish a slave to wear it on a daily basis. This from of training is especially efficacious if the maid is required to shop for the items himself, in, say, an exclusive boutique or at Victoria’s Secret.

A dominant may also require the slave to wear a corset or waist training belt under her work clothes. It is imperative that such items not restrict the slave's movement or respiration so severely as to interfere with her work or her health. A hidden item should be a constant, gentle reminder of the dominant and of the slave's status.

Some dominants favor the use of anal insertion devices ("butt plugs") in their training programs. Butt plugs, which are available in a wide variety of shapes, materials and sizes, are particularly beneficial for sex slaves of anally inclined masters and mistresses. They may also be used a punishment, although again, they should not interfere with me slave's ability to function in the workplace and should not damage his body. Therefore, plugs should not be left in place for more than a few minutes to start. The time may be increased to several hours as the slave adjusts. The anus can be stretched with increasingly large butt plugs, so that it may later accommodate other items, like a large penis, a latex-sheathed whip handle, or several gloved fingers.

Female slaves whose masters wish to train them for more active sexual service may wish them to "pack" - that is, to wear a strap-on dildo under their regular clothing. This technique is also useful for gender-switching women who serve as "boys." There exists an underground literature - these days transmitted by way of the Internet - on the fine art of packing. Dildos, like butt plugs, come in a variety of shapes, sizes and materials, from soft "herbies" (sometimes called "pants-fillers") to superhuman dongs. The slave can stuff a small, soft dildo in her underwear - men’s Y-fronts or a jockstrap are appropriate choices - or can use a harness with larger toys. Harnesses are usually made either of durable but soft leather, or of webbing. The former has the benefit of high fetish value; the latter is easier to clean, lighter in weight, and less expensive. The slave should be instructed in the proper care of both dildo and harness and should learn the advantages of different styles of underwear and trousers, the merits of condoms (and their use) and the most pleasing way to handle "her dick." Pornography featuring male-male scenes may form an important part of her education.

S/M Tools

Not all submissives are masochists and not all dominants are sadists. In the event that this happy convergence of tastes occurs, however, the dominant may wish to acquire and use tools designed for S/M play. Physical sensation can be used as a punishment or as a reward. Choose your

"weapon' well: trainers may prefer a leather strap, while a governess may reach for a fine rattan cane. A canine trainer may prefer a rolled-up newspaper; the equestrienne, a crop" Or the dominant may choose to make her open hand a tool: a firm swat on the behind makes a fine choice as reward or punishment.

Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual

PART TWO:

D/S RELATIONSHIPS

In which we explore the nature and logistics of

dominate/submissive arrangements. from the

acquisition of slaves to the negotiation of contracts.

Perhaps you are a dominant looking for a slave. How on earth do you find one? You could look to that capricious mistress, Fate, to deliver your future property to your doorstep, but burnt offerings or no, the Goddess has a backlog .of requests for happiness, so you would do well to consider more mundane options.

Many people have successfully found partners through personal ads in their local alternative papers or BDSM contact magazines like
Bitches With Whips, Kinky People, Places and Things,
Tough Customers,
or the
Sandmutopian Guardian.
Computer bulletin boards also provide a source of potential partners. A number of excellent books can give you tips on finding partners (see the resource guide for suggestions). In addition to advertising and "cruising" the Internet, many dominants and submissives enjoy the support and stimulation of BDSM organizations. Most major American cities boast several such organizations; some, like New York’s Eulenspiegel Society and San Francisco's Society of Janus and Outcasts, have existed for many years. Most organizations offer educational workshops and social events for their membership; some host BDSM play parties; many publish newsletters. The Eulenspiegel Society's quarterly newsletter,
Prometheus,
is available to non-members and features well-written articles and beautiful graphics along with event listings'

and advertising. Joining one of these organizations and attending BDS parties, conferences, contests, and events are certainly the most direct methods of meeting compatible individuals.

How do you signal your interest in D/S? The lesbian and gay leather communities have their hanky codes: a bandanna displayed on the left by tops, on the right by bottoms, with every color of the rainbow signifying a particular activity or fetish. I have yet to see a hanky that signified dominance or submission, however, although some, like white lace for Victorian scenes, can be adapted for that use. Other writers and craftspeople have suggested rings (such as the Gauntlet piercing studio's reproduction of the ring worn by the dominants in Story 0f O
),
bracelets or anklets, or other trinkets.

My suggestion is this: wear whatever suits you and let your manner speak for you. By this I do not mean that dominants should be indiscriminately haughty; this is rudeness, not dominance. Nor do I advise submissives to throw themselves willy-nilly at the feet-of dominants. Such behavior is disrespectful, both to the dominant and to the submissive himself An attitude of quiet, attentive grace suits a submissive better than wanton gestures of abasement. Likewise, an observant and controlled manner conveys dominance more readily than pushiness or obnoxious, egocentric displays of “power."

What To Look For In a Submissive

Beyond mere availability and erotic compatibility, what qualities should a dominant look for in a potential slave? Here Miss Abernathy must admit to a certain prejudice. For many dominants, the intellectual acumen of a slave and his or her spiritual development are relatively unimportant. Not so for me. I am simply uninterested in a slave with whom I cannot carry on a lively conversation. In fact, my personal list of required qualities begins with "highly verbal." Clearly; certain roles require specific skills: it would be foolish to employ a cook who burns water. Half the pleasure of owning a slave is in the training, however - so if what you want is only a cook, call an agency and hire a cook.