My Body-His Marcello (29 page)

Standing at the
monitor console, I hit the eject button of the lower screen DVD
recorder that covered the hot tub. A
disk
spit out and with trembling hands, I tried to
replace it with the one I held but I fumbled it. I bent over to
pick it up and successfully fed it in the second time. I sat down
at the desk as the video began to play.

What I saw took
my breath away. Janice was surrounded by men, with a dressed
Marcello lording over the scene. Luke, also clothed, held a camera
and appeared to be taking photos. I was torn between shutting it
off and continuing to view, but in the end I stayed put. The
initials on the DVD kept me watching. It could’ve been labeled
J
w/several men
but instead it said
J, M, & L
. I had
to watch the video until the end.

Janice looked
amazing even though most of her body was concealed by the men
devouring her. Had Luke not been present I might even have been
aroused by the spectacle. I prayed that the scene had been filmed
before Luke and I were together. I couldn’t tell if Janice’s hair
was longer or shorter than now. I fast forwarded. As the video sped
up I watched as she quickly fornicated with each man there. Once
all the men lay spent around her she crawled over to Luke and I hit
the play button to return the video to normal speed. She rose to
her knees and pivoted to say something to Marcello.

That’s when I
noticed the brand of Marcello’s initials on her hip—the one that
had been fresh during my first stay at Marcello’s.

My breathing
became shallow and rapid. A large part of my sanity split away
through the pain and anger that scorched me. I continued to watch
my worst fears confirmed. Janice undid Luke’s zipper and pulled his
cock out of his pants. As she slid her mouth up and down his shaft
while he continued to snap pictures, I couldn’t take anymore. I
ejected the disk and broke the DVD in two, leaving the pieces on
the desk. I put the recording DVD back in the player and hit
record. I opened all of the file drawers and dumped their contents
on the ground, stomping on them. Then I emptied the drawers in the
desk on the floor as well.

There are times
in life when you make bad, crazy choices even while fully conscious
of your actions. Then there are those times when you are so far
gone—as I was in that moment—that your actions are fueled entirely
by emotion. Reason had left the building. Jane, or what was left of
me, vanished as well. I grabbed the metal shelving and, with a
strength I didn’t normally possess, toppled it over. I didn’t care
if the sound brought attention. I no longer gave a damn what
happened to me. The desire for vengeance had charred my heart and
soul.

I left the room,
not bothering to close the door. On automatic pilot, I traversed
the stairs like a robot on a course set for destruction. In the
main room the festivities had already begun. I stood in the middle
of the huge backroom and shot a bird to where I imagined the
cameras to be. I undressed in the center of the room and waited
what would befall me.

Christian came to
me and grabbed my wrist.

“
What
are you doing?” he said.

“
Huh?”
I said, barely recognizing him.

“
Put
your clothes on Jane. I’ll take you home.”

I laughed, but it
wasn’t a joyous sound, but rather the crazy-happy cackle of a
demented woman jumping off a cliff. Death was not far away, and the
crazy woman I had become embraced it.

“
I
don’t have a home, Christian. I don’t have anything at all. Leave
me be and go have your fun. Fuck me if you want. I know you want
to. I’m free for the taking. Did you know we are being
taped?”

“
Taped?”

“
Oh
yes, videotaped. I imagine he’s making a killing on it.”

“
Bullshit, Jane. Are you on something?”

“
If by
something
you mean abject hatred and pain tearing at my
flesh, then yes, I’m on something.”

When Christian
slapped me across the face, it surprised him more than it did me.
Nothing could faze me anymore.

“
Slap
me if you wish. Beat me. Fuck me. Use me. Just make sure it’s in
front of the cameras so he can see. There are cameras everywhere.
Fuck me on tape; that should send him a clear message.”

“
What
the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Scott said addressing
Christian as he approached us.

“
Brilliant,” I said, laughing my maniacal laugh. “The more the
merrier.”

“
Jane
is seriously fucked up and I was hoping to snap her out of it. We
need to get her out of here.”

“
You
will do no such thing. I plan to fuck and fuck I will. Back off,
both of you, or fuck me. Your choice.” I put my hands on my hips,
awaiting their decision.

“
Can
you watch her? I’m going to try to reach Luke.”

“
Oh
that’s good,” I said, “even funny, actually. He doesn’t care what
the hell I do. He’s made that abundantly clear. Call him and he’ll
tell you the same. Now, either leave me alone or fuck me and get it
over with. I’m sure someone in this crowd we’re attracting with our
little scene will oblige me.”

“
Can
you handle her?”

“
I can
help,” Hank said

“
Oh
this is priceless,” I said, giggling insanely. “Buzz off, all of
you.”

“
What
happened to her?” Hank said.

“
Long
story,” Christian said.

“
She
looks so different,” Hank said.

“
That
could be because I’m naked,” I said, winking. “I think I’ll check
out the hot tub.”

“
Go,”
Scott said to Christian.

“
Please watch her and I’ll be back as soon as I
can.”

I laughed at
their histrionics and strolled toward the exit. Turning toward the
crowd, I said, “Anyone care to join me?”

Scott and Hank
followed. Scott, a previous friend-with-benefits, had taken me to
the house without letting me know what sort of party I would be
heading into. Hank had kept me company briefly before I unwittingly
stepped into the bedroom and life of Luke. I didn’t know how Scott
and Hank planned to stop me, short of sitting on top of me. I
sauntered over to the hot tub and lowered myself in. An unknown man
was intercepted by my sentinels.

“
She’s
not well,” Scott said, putting his hand on the man’s bare
chest.

“
Are
either of these guys your boyfriend?”

I said, “I’m here
alone, come join me,” and waved him over.

I watched his
cock and balls sway in my direction. I knew the hot tub had at
least two cameras on it and I planned to put on a show. I can’t
tell you what he looked like, because at the time his appearance
mattered not in the least.

“
Sit
on the edge,” I said, pointing to a spot facing the
house.

I swam over to
him and he rewarded me with a nice hard cock. I took hold of his
shaft and lowered my mouth over his big head. My mind focused on
the moment that Luke would see the video. I hoped he would be
livid. I hope he’d feel even a small part of the utter
disillusionment that devastated me. I couldn’t feel my body and
wasn’t the least bit aroused. I executed the task for performance
sake only. I assumed I’d never feel pleasure again. I only wished
there were more men surrounding me.

“
He’s
on his way,” Christian said, as he approached. “You were supposed
to be watching her.”

“
We
couldn’t stop her,” Hank said.

“
Jane,
get out of the hot tub. Luke’s on his way.”

“
Yeah,
right, Christian. Doubt you even reached him.”

“
I
spoke with him and he’ll be here soon. Go get dressed. We’ll wait
out front.”

“
Thanks, but no thanks,” I said, lowering my mouth back down on
the unknown guy’s cock.

“
Is he
really coming?” I heard Scott ask. “I warned her to stay away from
Luke, but she wouldn’t listen.”

“
What
he said was, ‘he would take care of it’. Not sure if he’s coming or
not.”

“
Hahahahaha,” I cackled. “I told you he doesn’t give a shit.
Now come and join my show.”

“
We
could try to pull her out,” Scott said.

“
Not a
good idea,” I said. “I’m a free woman and men choosing to move me
against my will would cause all kinds of legal problems for you. So
buzz off or join in. Either way, please shut the fuck
up.”

My cock boy
laughed and gently pushed my head back down onto his penis. I could
hear my saviors whispering amongst themselves but could no longer
make out what they said. They stood around and waited, at a loss as
to what to do.

“
I’ll
take it from here,” Luke said as he approached the hot
tub.

I paused in my
cock sucking and looked up at him. “Now you can see my performance
in person instead of on tape. Welcome to the show.” I lowered my
head again and continued to lick and suck my new friend.

“
Jane,
get out of the tub,” he ordered.

“
Ummm,
no,” I said, barely lifting my mouth up to get the words out. “You
might want to check out my redecoration project upstairs. DVDs are
still running though.”

Luke took a
different tact and pulled the guy out of the hot tub by the
arms.

“
What
the fuck?” he said, standing on the edge of the deck.

“
That’s my wife, so get lost.”

“
Oh
man, she said she was here alone. Sorry, man, I don’t want any
problems.” He backed away from us.

“
Oh,
so
now
I’m your wife. Didn’t seem to matter much when you
were letting Janice suck your cock now, did it.”

“
I’m
putting a restraining order on you.”

“
Uh-oh … now that
is
funny. Does that include
handcuffs and rope? That has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever
heard in my life: you needing protection from me. Clearly the world
has shifted on its axis.”

Maybe he was
right to get a restraining order because in that moment I wanted to
kill him. I wanted to stab a huge hole right through his heart. I
wanted to watch him bleed and scream in pain.

“
Get
out of the tub and out of my house.”

“
What
happened to me being your beloved bride? You just ran off my cock
boy because of our state of matrimony.”

“
Jane.”

“
Don’t
Jane
me, Luke. So how often has your cock been in Janice’s
mouth since we’ve been together … or other places, for that matter?
You have to be the biggest hypocrite I have ever encountered in my
life. So full of shit and yet so fuckin’
self-righteous.”

I remained
conscious of the cameras rolling and the audience of Scott,
Christian, and Hank.

“
Janice? Why are we talking about Janice?” he said. He reached
down to pull me out.

I swam away to
the other side and said, “Nice video room you have … oh I mean
had
up there.”

He left me in the
hot tub and went back into the house.

Christian and
Scott each offered me a hand out and I took them.

“
Thanks,” I said. “Guess the show’s over.”

“
Here
are your clothes,” Hank said, handing me a towel with my clothes
folded on top.

I quickly dried
off and dressed.

“
Thank
you for your concern but as the curtain has closed you are free to
travel. Might I recommend the condoms in the bowl by the
refrigerator?” I smiled at my attempt at humor but felt dead
inside.

I forced myself
to go back into the house, leaving the men staring after me. I
needed my backpack, which I had left in the recording room. I was
still too crazy to be afraid to return to the scene of the crime.
At the top of the stairs, I saw Luke in the doorway talking on his
cellphone. I stepped over the tapes and supplies strewn on the
floor and clutched my backpack. Then I picked up Luke’s keys and
walked over to him.

“
I
won’t be needing these anymore,” I said, dangling the keys out to
him.

“
Wait,” he said, cupping the phone.

I contemplated
leaving anyway but curiosity got the better of me.

“
I
don’t ever want to see you again,” he said after he finished his
call.

“
Fuck
you,” I said. “You asked me to wait for that?”

I slipped through
the threshold of the door but Luke seized my upper arm, bringing me
back.

“
I’m
serious, Jane.”

I stood there
staring at him. I hate to admit this but I still loved him, even
then. If he’d said he was sorry and wanted me back, I would’ve
gone. I knew we could be happy together if I could just stop
fucking it up. At the same time I wanted him dead or at least
grievously injured. I would have loved it if he had been bedridden,
needing me to care for him. I wanted to cause Janice hurt as
well.